Split Screen Sadness
by Galpalcj
Summary: Two very different girls, two very different roads, one choice. What happens when Lucas Friar is forced to choose between Riley Mathews and Maya Hart? What will the consequences of his decision be? How will they ripple out and touch the lives of those surrounding them all? This is a multiverse in which both roads are explored. (Based on Canon! NOT LUCAYA FRIENDLY AS A COUPLE!)
1. Prologue

Lucas Friar sat at the bay window between the two girls that meant more to him than the entire world. Both were one of his closest friends and both had developed feelings for him. Now they were looking to him to make a choice. He had always heard the expression between s rock and a hard place but he had never truly felt he understood what it meant until this moment.

"You mean choose one of us over the other? What happens then?" The blonde on his right asked.

"That would be the end of us," mumbled the brunette to his left.

Lucas hung his head. That was his biggest fear. Of course, it would be Riley that understood that. She always understood him...except when it came to his feelings for her. That seemed to be the one subject in which they couldn't properly communicate.

"What does your last card say?" Maya asked.

He didn't have to look at it. He already knew what it said but for some reason he removed it from his back pocket and read it aloud for both girls to hear.

"I don't want this to be the end of us." He said with a sigh.

The three of them sat there in silence wondering how they had gotten themselves into this mess and more importantly what were they supposed to do now. Maya had pushed Riley toward him. Riley had stepped back for Maya. The only one that hasn't had a voice throughout this entire experience was Lucas. No one has bothered to ask him what he wanted before making decisions that altered all three of their lives.

Finally it was his turn to speak. The only problem was that he wasn't sure what he wanted anymore. All he knew was what he definitely didn't want and that was to lose either of his friends or to come between the two of them. They had been a duet long before he'd come along.

He wasn't confused about Riley. He had known almost from the very beginning how he felt about her. He admired her strength of character and endless optimism. He adored her goofy quirks and horrible accents. Everything about Riley Mathews had drawn him in. She was the first girl that he had ever liked, his first date, his first kiss. She was the one he had wanted. Had she not pushed him away in Texas there would never have been a question as to who he would choose. The answer would have automatically been her.

Lucas's feelings for Maya weren't nearly as clear. They had been at one point, when he had looked at her as a friend only, but Texas had changed everything. That one night challenged everything he knew. He liked Riley. It had always been Riley. So then how had he wound up standing by a campfire with Maya's face in his hands, literally seconds away from kissing her? From that night on, he couldn't look at her as just his good friend Maya. Every time he looked at her it took him back to that moment and the question of had posed; did he like Maya as more than a friend. He wasn't sure if he could say yes but somehow he couldn't say no either.

They couldn't go on like this. They had tried ignoring it. They'd been doing that for months and it wasn't helping anyone. They would be starting high school in three short months and everything would change. With so much already up in the air it seemed like the smart thing to resolve at least one major issue before moving on to whatever came next.

But how was he supposed to choose? Both girls were equally amazing yet vastly different. Was he supposed to choose based on who he could talk to easiest because that would obviously be Riley? Or was he supposed to base his decision on who everyone thought he should be with, because that would be Maya. Should he choose based on who would be a better girlfriend? He couldn't answer that. They both made him feel alive. They both brought out different parts of him. He was himself completely with both girls. No matter which way he looked at it there seemed to be no viable way to choose between them.

Riley didn't want this to be the end of them either. That was why she had pushed him away to begin with. Yes, Maya had factored into the equation once she realized that her best friend had been secretly pining for her boyfriend since the day they met (no, he was not then nor was he now her boyfriend and she had no right to be angry with Maya. She had stepped back for her) but even before Texas, she had already made the decision to give him up. So why was she going back on it now? Because she loved him, that's why. She had said the words before she even fully understood them, but whatever they meant she had certainly meant them with all her heart. Standing there letting him go was physically painful. She wasn't sure she could do that again. She would if she had to. If he chose Maya she would find a way to be happy for them, she would, even if it killed her. She would rather lose him as a boyfriend than lose one or two of her best friends.

Maya didn't want this to be the end of their friendships, but more than that she just wanted this nightmare to end. She hated feeling like she was competing with Riley, and she really hated feeling like she was losing to her. It was easy to see that he still had feelings for her. He had always liked her, but no matter how hard she fought against getting her hopes up, part of her kept reminding herself that he had almost kissed her and that had to mean something. He had told her that her liking him had been worth everything she had put him through. There had to be hope...right?

Later that day the girls were sitting at the kitchen table of the Mathews residence when Lucas came through the door. He had thought long and hard about what he was choosing and why. He just had to hope they would all make peace with his decision.

He pulled out his white notecards again. He'd gone through an entire pack for this one speech, same with the one he had given earlier that day.

"Hi. It's me, Lucas Friar, again," he began reading nervously.

"Lucas put the cards down and just say what you need to say," prompted his history teacher...who was also basically a father to both girls. He was probably going to hate him by the end of this announcement

"You both mean the world to me and I would never want to hurt either one of you, but you asked me to decide and I did. So I choose...


	2. 1- The Choice

**A/N: For those that don't seem to understand, a multiverse is an occurrence in which both scenarios are playing out simultaneously in multiple realities. So yes he is choosing Riley, AND he is choosing Maya. You will see both realities in each chapter from everyone's multiple points of view.**

 **That being said I have worked VERY hard to remove my preference from this story and focus solely on what has been shown to us onscreen. I have done my best to keep the nature of each relationship as close to canon as I possibly can.**

 **I sincerely hope that you enjoy this story. I didn't ask for it, it just came to me and demanded that I give it's due attention.**

"I choose...Maya."

Both girls sat there in shock. The question of who would end up with Lucas had finally been answered. Riley's remained silent as she willed herself to display an understanding smile, inside she was breaking. She had known of course, that this was how the situation would end. No one would ever willingly choose her over her talented and passionate best friend. She was everything Riley could never be.

The blonde girl next to her sat there with a perplexed expression on her face. Lucas Friar had chosen her over Riley Mathews? She had been so certain that she would lose. After all, hope was for suckers and Riley was the best person that anyone could be; herself included. And yet, he had chosen her and all her brokenness over Riley's perfection. Her eyebrows rose and her eyes grew wide as she stared at him in confusion.

"Really?" She asked disbelievingly.

Lucas's gaze automatically shifted from the girl he had chosen to the girl he hadn't.

"I'm so sorry Riley. I swear, I never meant to hurt you...I meant everything I said to you, I really did-"

Riley instantly regrouped, smiling through her pain. The sad look in those deep brown eyes was almost enough to make him regret his choice right then and there.

"It's okay, Lucas. I understand." She forced her smile wider. "I'm really happy for you two." She said as she shifted her glance between the new couple.

Maya had been so consumed in her shock and relief over being chosen that she had completely forgotten that the girl losing was her best friend. She placed a reassuring hand on the brunette's shoulder.

"Oh honey...I don't know what to say."

Riley just shrugged, holding back the tears threatening to pool in her eyes.

"There's nothing to say, peaches. You like him, he likes you, and we're all still friends. That's all that matters."

Cory and Topanga watched the spectacle before them, battling their own warring emotions. As Maya's family they were happy to see her finally getting something her young heart truly yearned for. As Riley's parents they were heartbroken on their daughter's behalf. Neither were certain what they should do at this point. They knew Riley would need comfort and Maya would need assurance but how could they give both girls what they were needing without betraying the other in the process?

"I'm going to go upstairs and give you two some time alone. Don't worry about me, Maya, and don't feel guilty Lucas. I'll be fine."

She didn't know when that would be true but she had to believe that it would be someday. It was disappointing, sure, but it wasn't going to be the greatest heartbreak of her life, or anything. He would always be part of her life and she and Maya would always be the best of friends. Eventually they would all move on.

Someday.

But for today, she just wanted to be alone. She'd give herself this one day to mourn everything she had lost, all the experiences they'd never share and then she would find a way to let it go. Tomorrow she would smile and congratulate them and pretend that nothing was wrong. Tonight she would eat ice cream, watch every movie where the guy dies in the end, and cry her eyes out to her broken heart's content.

Everyone watched as Riley retreated into her bedroom. Normally, Maya would go with her. She would listen to her best friend as she poured her heart out and offer her advice or hold her while she cried...but she couldn't do that this time. This time she was part of the problem and therefore couldn't be the solution.

For the first time since he had declared her his choice she turned to look at him.

"Now what, Ranger Rick?"

Now what? Honestly he had no idea what they were supposed to do now. He hadn't thought beyond the declaration itself. He had known how hurt Riley would be and he hated himself for it. All he had ever wanted was to protect her beautiful soul from the cruelties of the world; they both had. Ironically enough the only thing they hadn't been able to protect her from was what had happened between him and Maya.

"Well, I chose you. I guess that means we should go on a date or something?"

They had gone on dates before. None of them had worked out very well. The first one resulted with a smoothie being poured over his head and the second they had simply sat in awkward silence not even looking at one another. Lucas had liked to believe that words didn't change people but maybe they did? Being boyfriend and girlfriend had made it impossible to talk to Riley when before they had talked all the time. Maybe being boyfriend and girlfriend would be enough to shift his relationship with Maya from silent and awkward and to something more manageable? At least he hoped that's what would happen.

"Do we hold hands or what?" She asked quizzically.

Riley's was the only hand he had ever held...

"Uh...I guess we could. Do you want to?"

She glanced down at her hand, wondering what would happen when they touched. As he took his hand in hers she couldn't help but ask why people thought this was romantic. It was warm and sweaty and awkward. She pulled away quickly.

"Yeah, no. That's just a little too weird."

Lucas felt the same way but he didn't want to admit that. They couldn't talk and they couldn't hold hands. Worst of all he had hurt one of his best friends; the girl that had helped him survive New York City, and this was how he had repaid her.

They found themselves once again on the couch of Topanga's bakery. Though Lucas had made his choice nothing had seemed to change. They were still sitting there without a word between them and his thoughts were still wandering to Riley and the look on her face when he had said Maya's name instead of hers.

Suddenly her head snapped in his direction.

"Why did you pick me?" Her tone was almost accusing and angry.

Was she actually upset with him for choosing to be with her?

"Did you not want me to?" He questioned his voice rising in response.

"You still like Riley." It wasn't even a question and the truth behind it only agitated them both further.

"Well yeah, but-"

She cut him off before he could even finish his sentence.

"You've always liked Riley. So why would you pick me over her?" She was standing now and somewhat shouting at him.

He stood to face her accusations.

"Because of what happened in Texas! Yes I like her. I always liked her but something happened between us Maya. Something big enough to completely consume me in that moment. I don't think something that powerful should be ignored." He shouted back in defense.

She got up in his face just as she had done that night. "Well neither do I!" She shouted her mouth not even an inch away from his own.

Before either of them could process what was happening the spark between them ignited as he found her face in his hands again, only this time there was no reason to stop...and so he didn't.

He crushed his lips down onto hers as her hands dangled in the air uncertain what to do. Her mouth on the other hand, was not nearly as indecisive as it instinctively molded to fit his.

Suddenly it was perfectly clear to both of them why he had chosen her.

As they pulled apart his green eyes were still searing into her clear blue ones. In that moment he felt the same fire licking his veins that he had the night of their almost kiss; the night that had changed everything forever.

"Well, that happened," she breathed with a tilt of her head, and for just a moment he couldn't help but think of the girl he'd almost chosen.

He took a deep steadying breath.

"Yeah, it did."

She nodded as she bit her lower lip. He didn't know what that sensation was but apparently it intensified whenever she did that.

"We're not really good at talking are we?" She asked, her eyes studying his expression. Her knees melted like butter when he smirked lazily at her in reply.

"I guess not," he admitted.

She gave him an impish grin as she arched an eyebrow. "Then let's not talk," she suggested as she pulled him in for another heated kiss.

* * *

"I choose...Riley."

Maya lips formed a tight thin smile as she nodded at his words. She had known all along what the answer would be. It had always been her, ever since Maya had pushed her into his lap on the subway. At the time she had just been trying to be a good friend. Looking back now she couldn't help but wish that she hadn't done it. If she had known that this was going to happen she probably wouldn't have. She wanted to be happy for her best friend. If anyone deserves someone as great as Lucas, it was Riley...but what about her? Didn't she deserve someone too?

Riley sat there stunned, unsure of what to say or how to react. She was happy, unbelievably happy to know that her lie hadn't destroyed their chance at being together...but him choosing her meant that he hadn't chosen Maya. Her best friend had already lost so much in life. It was true that she was strong, far more than she realized, but Maya wasn't just losing Lucas. Riley had somehow taken him from her. She glanced up at him and the flickers of emotion in his eyes mirrored her own. He was feeling just as guilty about hurting Maya as she was.

She instinctively reached out to console her best friend.

"Peaches, I- I'm so sorry..."

Maya cut her off before she could say more. Knowing Riley she was about to offer to give him up again for her sake. No matter how much she was hurting she wouldn't let her best friend do that. She had already stepped back once and even then Lucas had wanted her. Riley could swear off him for the rest of her life and Lucas would still choose her.

"It's fine Riles. You have nothing to be sorry for. You like him and he likes you, and that's just how it is. You're still my best friend." She assured the brunette before turning to face Lucas for the first time since he had rejected her. "And you're still a Huckleberry. Nothing has changed." Only everything had.

His green eyes met her usually clear blue eyes, which had begun to cloud over in pain. He hated himself for being the cause of that pain.

Riley hugged Maya close before rising from her seat.

"I'm going to give you two a moment alone. One of you just...come get me when you're ready."

She was giving him one last chance to change his mind. Even if he didn't, they had things they needed to say to one another and she didn't think it was a good idea for her to be present when they did. At the very least Maya deserved closure.

She walked slowly past Lucas, their eyes meeting as she did so. He knew exactly what she was doing and it was moments like this that assured him he had made the right choice. He just hoped that somehow Maya would understand and someday Riley would believe in them as much as he did.

They both watched her disappear upstairs, wondering what was supposed to happen now.

"So..." Maya said as she shuffled her balance from one foot to the other. She had been so confident when they had first met, but somewhere along the way she had lost that. Gone was the girl that had walked right up to a total stranger and facilitated a five second relationship on the subway.

"Maya, I just want you to know-"

She raised her hand cutting him off before he had a chance to finish what he was saying.

"You care a lot about me, you never meant to hurt me, blah blah blah. I already know that Lucas. You're a good guy. I wouldn't like you if you weren't...but I think it goes without saying you break her heart and I'll break that perfect jaw of yours. Got it?"

He stared at her in disbelief.

"That's really all you're going to say about this? You don't even want a reason or something?"

She shook her head slowly.

"Nope," she said popping the p, "I just want to forget the last few months never happened. See ya later, Ranger Rick. Tell Riles I'll see her tomorrow."

She started to walk away but Lucas turned and called out "I don't think that's how this works Maya."

She took a step forward, careful to keep a decent amount of distance between them. He was Riley's boyfriend now and she didn't want to say or do anything that would make her a bad friend.

"Well, it's gonna have to Lucas, cause that's the only way I see us all staying friends and if the friendships fall apart then we both lose her."

She had already lost Lucas today. She couldn't lose her best friend too.

Cory and Topanga had sat there in shock at the event taking place before them. Cory was already conflicted enough about Riley. He was happy she hadn't had her heart broken but that meant that his little girl was growing up and Lucas was going to start losing boots again. Topanga was just as torn. She loved both girls equally and hated that either one of them was hurting. One of them should go after Maya. She needed comfort right now and it was killing Riley that she couldn't be the one to offer it. She gave her husband a poignant look, mentally relating that he was to stay in the apartment with Riley and Lucas while she went after Maya. He nodded in agreement as she rose to follow her surrogate daughter, tapping Lucas on the shoulder and wishing him good luck, before leaving him alone with Cory.

"You don't like me very much right now, do you sir?" The young man observed as he faced his teacher who was now also the father of his girlfriend.

"Riley and Maya are both my daughters. As their father, I'm less than pleased that you broke one of their hearts, and are now dating the other. As your teacher and a fellow man, I understand that you're a good kid and that the girls put you in an impossible position, but since I'm a father first and foremost, no Mr. Friar. I'm not particularly fond of you at the moment."

Lucas just nodded his head in shame. "If it makes you feel any better sir, I don't like me very much at the moment either."

Cory accepted the boy's apology and gestured to the stairs.

"She's waiting for you."

His face brightened a little at that realization as he began to climb the stairs.

"Oh and Lucas, the door stays open. Ya got me?"

"Yes, sir," he smiled knowing that was as close to approval as he was going to get from Mr. Mathews.

When he reached the door he found Riley exactly where he knew she would be; in the bay window. He knocked on the wooden frame to alert her of his presence.

"Maya left didn't she?" Her words hung in the air, thick and heavy. This was not how he had imagined their first conversation as an official couple going, and yes, he had imagined it before...several times.

He came over and sat next to her, their eyes finally meeting without the gaze of spectators on them.

"I think she just needs some time. She said for me to tell you that she will see you tomorrow." That seemed to do little to lift her spirits.

"And she threatened to break my jaw if I hurt you," he added.

Finally she smiled in response. "That's my peaches." She said as she leaned her head on his shoulder before glancing up at him with those big brown eyes he was always getting lost in.

"Is this okay?" She asked, not really sure what the rules were anymore. He smiled at her and brushed a strand of hair from her face.

"Yeah, it's okay."

They say there like that a moment or two longer before he wrapped his arm around her and looked down at her, seeking her approval.

"Is this okay?" He asked her nervously.

She nodded with a smile.

"Yeah, it's okay."

They say there looking into one another's eyes. She knew every shade of green his eyes had ever been and he knew every fleck of gold in hers. Without thought or question they began to lean in toward one another until their lips met. He pulled her closer not wanting to let go as her hand found the back of his neck and smiled against his lips as their mouths melded into a sweet tender rhythm together.

As they pulled apart he released the breath he hadn't even been aware he was holding.

"Wow..." Was all he could say.

She nodded as her cheeks began to turn pink. "That was a good move,"

He leaned in and kissed her lips again; soft and sweet, and never more certain that he was exactly where he was supposed to be.

"Was that okay," he asked anxiously.

She giggled at his apprehension. How was it possible that she made him nervous?

This time she leaned in and kissed him as she took his hand in hers.

"It was perfect."


	3. 2- Going Public

**Hello my lovely readers. Since I deleted my public service announcement I am going to repeat myself one last time (for the people in the back or new people who don't know yet)**

 **1) This is NOT strictly a Rucas or Lucaya love story. Each choice has different consequences, neither is all good or all bad.**

 **2) Everything I have done is canon. I realize that (some) people interpret the show differently but everything I have done or will do I can back up with quotes, events, and interviews from creators of GMW (within context because I do not believe in propaganda shipping) If you don't like the direction of one of the ships that is a product of Michael Jacobs established foundation not mine.**

 **3) Each alternate reality has a different endgame. That's the only way I can answer your question without giving the ending away ;)**

 **4) These will be real emotions and real human responses which means expect things to get messy. (That's kind of a rule for all my writing)**

 **Thank you again for all your kind words and well wishes! I appreciate and adore each and every one of you!**

Maya and Lucas stood outside the school, both secretly dreading going inside. He turned to the beautiful blonde nervously.

"Okay, so let me make sure I've got this right? We don't hold hands."

Her long curly tendrils bounced from side to side as she shook her head no. "Definitely not. That was weird. And sweaty...why are your hands so sweaty?"

"It wasn't me, it was you." He defended.

"Whatever you say, Ranger Rick!"

His shoulders slumped. He had kind of hoped once they were together she wouldn't feel the need to keep making fun of every little thing about him.

"We're still doing that?" He asked.

Her blue eyes twinkled with amusement.

"Of course we are, Bucky Mcboing Boing. You'd hate to spoil my fun. What's that you southern folk like to say? When mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy."

He just shook his head and smiled at his girlfriend. He still couldn't believe that he had a girlfriend now. And he really couldn't believe that his girlfriend was Maya Hart.

"So what do I get to call you? I know short stack and pancake are already ruled out," he said with a smirk.

"You get to call me Maya, like you always have." She stated as if it were obvious.

His brows knit together in confusion.

"So we don't talk. We don't hold hands. You still make fun of me and I'm not allowed to retaliate. How is this any different from us being just friends?"

She glanced around to make sure no one was watching them before hopping on her tiptoes and kissing him quickly.

"Oh yeah, we do that now when no one is around." He said with a sly grin.

"Yep, around everybody else it's just another day," she assured him as she began to walk away but before she got far he'd grabbed her arm and pulled her back in.

"What gives Huckleberry?" She asked as she raised an eyebrow. He was already breaking the rules.

"If this is really just another day then why did you walk to school with me instead of...ya know."

With Riley...

He still couldn't say her name without remembering the look on her face. She had covered well. She always did, but for that brief unguarded moment he had seen it; all the pain and disappointment she would surely stuff down and pretend wasn't there today. Why couldn't he have seen it from the beginning? It had been there all along, hiding in her eyes. Farkle had seen it. Why couldn't he?

He glanced over again at the girl standing next to him, knowing she must be struggling just as much with his choice as he was. It wasn't that he had chosen wrong. He truly felt he had made the only choice he could. If what he'd had with Riley had been real, had been right, that moment in Texas with Maya would never have happened. He had chosen at that campfire, he just hadn't realized there was a choice being made at the time.

She shrugged in response to his question. "I just wasn't ready to see her. I'm sure she would have let me in its just...she'd be faking it and I would know it. She said that it was okay, but it doesn't feel okay. I didn't do anything wrong though. All I did was follow my heart," she wasn't even really talking to him. She was just processing out loud.

"Maya-" he didn't even get to finish his sentence. She was already walking away. She didn't want to talk about it. She didn't want to think about it. She just wanted to find a corner to hide in and kiss him til she didn't feel so lousy anymore.

They didn't realize that Zay had been standing outside the school and seen everything. Usually he'd be the first to circulate the gossip, but right now there was only one person he wanted to run and tell.

Maya, Lucas, and Zay were the last ones to walk into the classroom, only to find an empty desk in the front row. Riley wasn't there. That was all the evidence Zay needed to determine that Lucas had made his choice and Cotton Candy Face obviously knew he'd chosen the blonde beauty. Lucas was an idiot.

No one had to tell Farkle that anything had changed. He could see the guilt written all over Lucas and Maya's faces. He could see the mixture of concern and disappointment in Zay's. Lucas had finally gotten off the fence and made a decision.

The only thing worse to Lucas than seeing Riley in pain, was not seeing Riley at all. Maybe that was selfish of him, but he couldn't help it. The day just wasn't the same without her there to talk to…of course he doubted they would be talking even if she was here. She would try for the sake of the friendship and appearances, but it would be strained and awkward. He couldn't bear the thought of that either.

Mr. Mathews walked into his classroom and could barely look at two of his students. He knew he had to remain objective, but he was finding that nearly impossible to do when he'd spent the entire night listening to his little girl cry her eyes out. He slammed his briefcase down on his desk and flipped the clips open.

"Alright class, today we're going to talk about alliances and betrayal. He honestly hadn't chosen this lesson. It just happened to be the next one on the history curriculum.

"Countries make alliances for all sorts of reasons; sometimes because they have leaders that get along well, sometimes because they have similar goals or a common enemy. In order to survive in this world you need friends," he began but the more he spoke the more his blood boiled. He was supposed to separate the classroom from the personal but right now he was struggling not to pin Friar up against a wall and ban Maya from his home in front of God and everybody.

"I'm sorry, I can't do this," he mumbled before closing his briefcase and walking out. He would request a substitute for this class. He couldn't be trusted in a room with those two right now.

Lucas and Maya both just hung their heads in shame. It didn't take a genius like Farkle to realize that Mr. Mathews perceived their relationship as a betrayal against his daughter...and if they were being honest they both did too. Riley had been nothing but good to them and together they had broken her heart.

A substitute was brought in for the remainder of class who went on and on about WWI and what happens when allies wage war and common alliances are forced to choose sides. Not once did Farkle correct or commentate. Not once did Zay crack a joke or inappropriate comment.

As the bell finally rang, Maya and Lucas finally addressed their friends.

"Come on guys, you're not mad at us too? Lucas asked.

Farkle didn't want to be angry, but he was. He didn't hold Lucas responsible for stealing away both his women. He never had but he did hold them responsible for what their choice was costing one of his best friends.

"I'm not mad at you for liking Maya. But I am mad at you for hurting Riley."

Lucas had figured as much.

"I'm mad at me for that too." He admitted.

Farkle turned to Maya, "you and I always protected her together. I never thought I'd have to protect her from you." He said sadly before walking away.

Zay patted Lucas on the shoulder. "I hope you're both happy man. I hope it's worth it. I really do."

That was all he said before following Farkle out. They had been such a tight knit group whenever he had first arrived. Within weeks after Texas the core four had begun unraveling. This might be their complete undoing.

Instinctively Lucas reached for his girlfriend's hand, only to have her turn to him, her blue eyes staring daggers.

"You're not supposed to do that." She snapped as she jerked her hand away.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to help," he explained, already feeling the sting of everyone's disapproval.

"Well you can't. They hate us Lucas! And you know what? So do I!" She stormed out of the classroom leaving him standing alone.

They didn't speak or look at one another the rest of the school day. Every time she wanted to, she remembered the empty desk where her best friend was supposed to be. Every time he wanted to he remembered the way she had been so cold to him when he had needed comfort. Didn't she see that he was hurting too?

Finally after the last class of the day as he was about to walk home alone when he felt someone push him up against a wall. The next thing he knew her lips were on his.

"What are you doing?" He asked his voice slightly raised in annoyance.

"I thought it was obvious," she mused before going in for another kiss, but he turned his head.

"You yelled at me and ignored me and now you're kissing me?" After almost two years of friendship he still didn't understand this girl at all.

"Can't we just chock it up to our first fight as a couple? I'm sorry, I was just upset about Riley."

She needed him to kiss her. She needed him to remind her why all the pain, guilt, and grief were worth it.

"I know. I was too. I still am-" he began to explain.

"Then kiss me. It will make both of us feel better. It always does."

How could he argue with that logic?

* * *

"Riley, it's getting late. You need to head out if you're going to make it to school on time," Topanga called from the kitchen.

The brunette walked somberly down the stairs.

"She didn't come," she mumbled as her voice cracked close to tears.

Riley had been upstairs waiting for Maya to come through her window all morning. She had hoped that she and Maya could still be as they had always been, but deep down she had known better. It was part of the reason she hadn't pursued her feelings for Lucas to begin with.

Topanga wrapped a comforting arm around her daughter.

"Oh honey," she didn't know what to say. She had been in just the same position in the hall with Maya the night before. Both girls loved each other and didn't want Lucas's decision to change anything, but it had.

The young girl grabbed a pop tart from the table, though she had no appetite for it.

"I should get going. See you later, mom."

Once she had entered the school there was still no sign of Maya anywhere.

"Hi," she heard a familiar voice from behind her as his hand quickly grasped around hers, giving it a reassuring squeeze before releasing it.

She couldn't help but smile at his gesture.

As she turned to face him he could see the twinkle of happiness in her brown eyes, but he could also still see the pain radiating just behind it.

"Hi," she greeted, her voice sounding sadder than she had intended.

He hated to see what his choice was doing to all of them. Even though he was thrilled with the girl he had chosen, and she was happy to be with him, neither could fully enjoy it knowing it had come at Maya's expense.

"I'm sorry Riley. I never meant for it to be like this." He couldn't help but feel responsible for the growing rift between the girls.

She smiled sympathetically as she collected her books from her locker.

"I know, Lucas, but it's not your fault. You didn't ask either of us to like you," she said, reading his mind.

That wasn't entirely true. He hadn't asked them to like him but he had been hoping that Riley would and had been lost when she'd called him her brother. All those months he had thought he'd lost her he couldn't think straight. All he could do was miss her and wonder how her feelings had changed.

He smiled as he once again realized that her feelings had never changed. She had always been his, just as he was hers. Now they finally, truly belonged to one another as boyfriend and girlfriend; no more unofficial mixed signals and misunderstandings.

"No, but I'm sure glad that you do."

Her brown eyes lit up with joy. After months of questioning what she had meant to him and believing that he had wanted someone else more it was such a relief finally knowing where they stood.

"I really do," she smiled brightly taking his hand in hers.

He watched in wonder as she combined their hands. He hadn't expected her to be so open about their relationship under the circumstances, and he knew that were Maya present this moment probably wouldn't be happening. It still hurt to think of Maya and remember her words from the day before. She hadn't come out and said they weren't friends anymore, but her choice of wording suggested that as far as she was concerned Riley was once again the only connection between them.

Zay and Farkle were both already seated when Riley and Lucas came walking in hand in hand.

Farkle sat there feeling a mixture of concern and relief. He was happy for Lucas and Riley. They had both wanted this for a long time and made plenty of sacrifices for the good of the friendships. They deserved this. But if Lucas was with Riley that meant he wasn't with Maya. From everything he had seen the blonde bombshell hadn't liked Lucas nearly as long, but that didn't make her feelings any less real or important. It also didn't mean that his decision would hurt her any less.

He had never resented Lucas for claiming the interest of both his ladies, but he could resent him for choosing between them. When Farkle had been faced with a similar choice he had forfeited them both to keep the girl's friendship intact, and he'd been waiting for the day either one of them would see him as more than a friend for a really long time.

Zay just grinned and waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

"Stop it," Lucas demanded.

Riley had been nervous enough about them being a couple to begin with. If everyone made a big deal out of it she might try to backpedal and that was the last thing Lucas wanted. Now that he had held her hand and kissed her and wrapped his arm around her he didn't want to give those things up. He didn't want to go back to being just her friend.

Zay slapped his buddy on the shoulder. "Man, it's about time," was all he said on the subject before deciding after school he would go check on honey nugget.

Mr. Mathews walked into class and laid his briefcase down on his desk. He looked up and noticed that Maya's desk was empty. He had stayed behind yesterday while Topanga had gone after her. He just hoped she knew that he still loved her as much as he had before Lucas's decision and that she would always be part of their family no matter what happened.

He spent the rest of the period talking about WWI and what happened when common alliances had to choose sides. He realized this lesson might appear chosen for this particular occasion but it really wasn't. The curriculum had dictated the material, not him.

Finally the bell rang, excusing the class. Farkle got up and began to exit quietly when a small feminine voice called him back.

"Wait, please don't be mad. We don't have to split up and take sides. I'm still on Maya's side too. We all are," she said once again taking Lucas's hand in her own without even realizing she'd done so.

Farkle turned back to meet Riley's chocolate eyes pleading with him, desperate for his approval.

"I'm not mad at you Riley...I'm mad at myself. Maya already thinks I took your side because of what I said at New Year's...and maybe I did. I didn't think so at the time. I was so focused on how you were feeling that I didn't think about how she would feel. I just blurted it out in front of everyone. At least Lucas had the decency to do it in private..." He trailed off, still not able to look at Lucas.

"I still can't believe I missed that," Zay replied.

"Not helping," Lucas snapped, causing Riley to glance at him worriedly.

"I'm sorry Zay. I just-" he began apologizing.

"We're cool. I get it. I'll catch up with you guys later," he said as he left for his next class.

"I should go too," Farkle stated flatly.

The brunette turned to her boyfriend, her eyes threatening to well up with tears.

"Lucas," she whispered as he pulled her into him, both needing comfort.

"It's gonna be okay Riley." He said as he held her close breathing in the scent of her.

They spent the rest of the day stealing glances at one another in classes and talking about anything other than Maya and their relationship. He understood that Riley was afraid of change and that choosing her was a risk. He knew that it was his responsibility to keep her fear and other people's opinions from tearing them apart. He would hold them together and keep choosing her until she was finally strong enough and ready to choose him too.

The last bell of the day had finally rung as Riley stood to gather her belongings.

"Can I walk you home today?" He asked hopefully.

She smiled at his question but he could already see that her answer was going to be no.

"I'd like that...but I'm not going home yet."

He nodded knowingly.

"You're going to see Maya." He concluded.

She nodded in response.

"She was my best friend long before you became my boyfriend. I just want to show her that she's still important to me."

Lucas smiled through the twinges of guilt and jealousy coursing through him. He loved how thoughtful and protective Riley was over the people she cared about. He loved being one of those people. He cared about Maya too and he understood that sometimes she needed to come first and now was one of those times. He just hoped that Riley would remember to keep them a priority as well. Otherwise he would lose her for sure.

The brunette collected her belongings and turned to leave when suddenly she spun on her heels.

"Lucas," she breathed.

His green eyes watched the way the flecks of gold in hers danced in the light.

"Yeah Riles?"

She leaned in and brushed her lips against his gently.

"You're really important to me too."

His smile grew from one side of his face to the other unapologetically.

"How about a rain check on that walk?" She called over her shoulder.

"Count on it, princess."

Tomorrow come rain or shine, he was walking his girlfriend home.

 **A/N: Since there have already been some misunderstandings let me clarify before moving forward. Pay VERY close attention to the wording used for people's reactions to the couplings.**

 **In both instances Farkle is angry with Lucas for choosing between the girls, but he's not really mad at Riley or Maya. He's just disappointed in the situation.**

 **He and Maya have always protected Riley from everything hurtful, but now Maya is the one hurting her. I think this would make Farkle feel as though he failed Riley, they both did, for not recognizing the true threat.**

 **Whereas with Rucas, He chose to protect Riley on that rooftop (and even though he had good intentions for everyone involved) I think he would worry that Maya would feel that he too had chosen Riley and was now hurting Maya.**

 **In both instances Zay is mainly worried about the other girl and how this choice will affect the friendships more than anything else.**


	4. 3- The One Left Behind

**A/N: To the guest that said everyone seems to be against Lucaya in the previous chapter, I do not take your commentary as offensive. You were very respectful in your review and I wish all people were as courteous as you were. (I've had to delete a few that were less tactful)**

 **That being said, if you read the author's note at the end of the page you will realize that your assessment is not entirely accurate. They are angry with Lucas for coming between the girls and disappointed with each girl for going along with it. Neither group is a victim of baseless bias. I will admit there is a difference of mentality toward the couples that will be explored at a later chapter in the series, but again everything is done based on what has played out on the screen.**

 **To everyone else, thank you for your continued support and encouragement. It truly means the world!**

Riley hadn't had any intentions of laying out of school that day. There were only a few weeks left before finals and eighth grade graduation, now was definitely not the time to be slacking. Yet somehow she had awoken in the middle of the afternoon to find that half the day had already passed her by. The brunette sat up in bed her knees to her chest; the events from the night before flashing like glimpses of memories that she couldn't hold onto. She vaguely remembered sitting in the bay window with Lucas and Maya as they had discussed their situation. They had agreed that by forcing him to choose that could possibly be the end of their friendship as they knew it. It was the one thing none of them had wanted…nonetheless a choice had been made.

Her mind flashed forward to sitting on the bench in the kitchen next to Maya as Lucas announced his decision. If she closed her eyes she could still hear the remorse in his words of apology and see the pain reflecting in his beautiful green eyes. For that brief moment it was almost as if she wasn't the only one losing something precious, he had been too. Walls she didn't even realize she had, began to spring up between her and two of her closest friends; locking them out of her sacred little world to protect them from herself. She had painted on the biggest smile she could muster and found enough resolve deep within, to wish them well and excuse herself.

She had no idea how long she had sat alone in her room, hugging her knees against her body the same was she was now, before her mother had come upstairs to check on her. She'd come bearing the gifts of Kleenex and Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream. It had all the comfort of both ice cream and cookies in one container, and if anyone needed to find joy in the small comforts right now, it was her…only she couldn't. The girl that could usually find the silver lining of every raincloud seemed to be blinded by her own torrential downpour.

Instead all she could do was watch Leonardo Dicaprio save Kate Winslet; first from committing suicide and again later from drowning when the ship went down, only to end up forfeiting his own. It was the perfect depiction of her own stupidity. Farkle had warned her what her choice to push Lucas and Maya together would ultimately cost her. You'd think she would have been smart enough to listen to a genius, but she hadn't been. By the time the truth had come out it was already too late.

The usually bubbly brunette had been surprisingly numb throughout the evening. She supposed that meant she had been in shock, or denial. Perhaps even both? Her mom kept telling her that it was okay to be sad, but Riley didn't feel sad like everyone thought she would. She didn't feel happy either, not the way that she had claimed downstairs earlier that day. Honestly, she wasn't feeling much of anything at the moment. She kept waiting for her stomach to growl or her eyelids to droop; something, anything, to let her know she was still alive, but she never felt hungry or sleepy, happy or sad. She just felt…tired. Tired and Numb.

The tears came later that night, or early the next morning, she wasn't certain which. As she laid there in the silence every memory came crashing down on her. They washed over her one by one; each image and emotion crisp, clear, and excruciatingly more painful than the last. She replayed every moment they'd ever shared together; from the instant they had met when he had caught her while she was falling on the subway to the night before when he had chosen her best friend, and everything in between. She remembered how special he had made her feel when he had placed her on that white horse and made her silly little girl fantasy of becoming a princess come true, and warm tingly feeling that had radiated through her as she had laid her head against the back of his shoulder. She thought back to the day in the school parking lot with the water hose when he had promised her that he was worth it.

And he was.

Even with everything that she was feeling in the present moment, even with him choosing her best friend over her, she still believed that he was worth it. Their unofficial thing hadn't lasted very long, but she knew that she wouldn't trade that time with him for anything, even knowing how it would end. In that small amount of time he had completely illuminated her already brilliant world. He had made her feel beautiful and brave, and for the briefest of moments, she had gotten her first taste of romantic love. That was what made it hurt so badly.

It wasn't just that he, like everyone else in her life except maybe Farkle, had made Maya the priority. It wasn't just that he had somehow gone from thinking she was wonderful to believing she was replaceable…it was the fact that she had loved him, and never told him. That wasn't entirely true. She had gotten the words out once, but she had led him to believe that they meant something other than what they really had at the time. She may not have ever told him, but Farkle had on the rooftop at New Year's…and he'd found her love worthless, compared to Maya's fire.

He hadn't said why. She hadn't given him the chance to. What good would it do to know why? It wouldn't change anything. The important thing was taking the day to clear her head and say goodbye to the possibility of her and Lucas ever being more so that tomorrow when she saw him with Maya it wouldn't feel as if someone had just stabbed her in the heart and twisted the knife.

She began making a mental checklist of all the things she needed to do to purge this impossible dream from her life. Obviously she would have to bag up his shoes and return them to him. She couldn't have a bucket of her best friend's boyfriend's shoes lying around. She would also have to find something to do with the letters that she had written but never found the courage to actually send and the few pictures she had of the two of them together. Maybe she would put them in a box somewhere like she saw in the movies and television shows? Just because they hurt too much to look at now didn't mean that she might not want them someday. She'd also put her subway card in there. It was the same one she had used the day they met and again on their first date. The card could be replaced. The memories couldn't.

Lucas stared into his girlfriend's cerulean eyes, wondering how he had never gotten lost in them before when they were so easy to drown in. He tightened his grip around her waist as he brushed a flyaway hair from her face.

"So are you going to see her today?" he asked tentatively.

Her meaning Riley…

The blonde shook her head from side to side as she chewed on her bottom lip. It took everything in him not to kiss her whenever she did that. He wasn't sure why exactly, it just did. Before Texas he had never once even thought about kissing Maya. Now it was all he seemed able to concentrate on…that and his guilt, but it wasn't nearly as fun to focus on.

"Did you see the way Mathews tore out of here today? I guarantee none of them want to see me right now." She said dismally.

His expression softened at her words. She couldn't tell if it was pity or guilt in his eyes. Either way she didn't want to see it.

"How do you expect things to get any better if you don't go see her and try to work things out?" he implored.

Her head snapped up, blue flames dancing in her eyes.

"Don't you get it Lucas? Riley isn't here for a reason. The reason being she didn't want to see me or you or us together. She said that it was okay but it's not, and after everything we did to her if she needs a day away from us to deal with everything then the least we can do is give her that. Besides, if I know if you had chosen her, no matter how much I love her, she's the last person I'd want to see right now."

Lucas was stunned by her sudden outburst. She seemed to be doing that a lot lately, more than usual. And it was usually directed at him. He had only wanted to help. Riley and Maya were each other's everything. Maya had gone out with Farkle just so he and Riley could have their first date then Riley had turned around and given up their date to comfort Maya. That's how close they were…before him. Maybe they both would have been better off had he not been on the subway that day…

He nodded numbly, uncertain of what he could possibly say.

It had taken every ounce of energy Riley had to pry herself from the bed but she had done it. She'd taken a shower, but she hadn't felt the heat of the water, nor did she notice when it ran cold. She pulled on some jeans and a tank top before beginning the task at hand. She went downstairs and grabbed a garbage bag from the cabinet and located an old shoe box she could stuff her Lucas mementos into. After tossing the letters and pictures next to the open box she began shoving his shoes into the bag one by one when she heard a knock at the window.

She should have known that this would happen. She and Maya had never been apart really. They'd never argued for more than a few hours at most. Riley understood why Maya would feel the need to try and fix things between them so quickly, and if the roles had been reversed she would probably be doing the exact same thing. However, the roles weren't reversed. Riley was the one crying her eyes out while Maya was dating Lucas, and even though she had promised herself to be happy for them right now Riley didn't feel happy about anything.

"Maya, I really can't do this right now," she said just in time to glance up at her window and find bright green eyes staring back at her instead of stormy blue ones.

"Lucas," she breathed, her mind unable to form any other word.

He was the last person that she had expected to see today.

* * *

Maya awoke to the sunlight peeking through her apartment window. She had no interest in the sun or school or anything else for that matter. She just wanted to roll over and forget that yesterday had ever happened. So that's exactly what she did. Her mom was already at the bakery and wouldn't be home until after school had already let out. She could easily intercept the call alerting her that Maya hadn't been in school that day. It was just one day. Surely, after everything that had happened her mom could understand her taking one tiny, little, incy, wincy mental health day.

She rolled over placing the pillow over her head, but it was too late. Her brain was already awake and dragging her back through the events of the day before. She had been the one to really push Lucas into making a choice. He hadn't wanted to, Riley hadn't wanted him to, but Maya had just wanted this strangely civil competition between her and her best friend to come to an end. She was tired of being confused and feeling like a consolation prize. All this uncertainty was turning her into someone that she didn't want to be, and she just wanted to be sure of something again, even if it was only that hope was for suckers.

In the end his choice had been no surprise to her, of course it had been Riley. She wasn't angry with him for wanting to be with the girl who was a walking talking masterpiece. Her best friend was basically one ornate combination of everything good and beautiful in the world. It was why she was so easy to love. How could she blame him for falling in love with the girl who turned everything to gold when she loved her for all the same reasons? She was angry that he had chosen to listen to her; that he had made the choice at all. Unlike Maya, he hadn't been too shortsighted to consider the consequences. He had known that he was changing everything between them forever and he had done it anyway.

Maya hadn't asked for this. She hadn't gone seeking this disappointment out. She hadn't even realized how she felt about Lucas until Riley and Farkle had both told her she liked him. She'd had moments of curiosity and confusion but that was different. She had never dared to pursue it or allow herself to believe that it could happen. If Riley had just been honest about her own feelings for Lucas their almost moment would never have happened, and there would never have been a need for a choice.

Instead Riley had lied and forced Maya into confronting her feelings by announcing them to Lucas in front of everyone. She had then left them alone by the campfire to confront one another with their new information. Maya had tried to deny what Riley and Farkle had accused her of. She'd done her best to keep playing the role she'd taken on from the day they met, but that had completely backfired. The moment he had taken her face in his hands the entire world stopped spinning. Her heart did some weird contraction thing and her breath literally caught in her throat. It was as if they were frozen in time or something. That was the moment the seed of hope had been planted.

Over the next few months that seed had continued to grow and bloom within her; giving her hope and making her believe that good things, like having the affection of someone as great as Lucas Friar, could happen to her too. She came crashing back to reality the night of New Year's Eve on that rooftop. As she had talked with Cory and Topanga downstairs she had realized all the people she cared about and trusted most in the world were all right there at the party with her. She knew where she stood with most of them...at least she thought she had. Lucas was the only one she hadn't established that understanding with so she had sought him out on the roof to end the year on a better note.

She'd found him standing there, staring at the sky, though she wasn't sure why. New York City lacked the celestial beauty of a starry night in Texas. She had asked him if she could stand next to him and he'd said he'd been saving that spot. When she had inquired who he was saving it for he had admitted that he wasn't sure anymore. She had known he was nowhere near over Riley, but this was the first time she had seen any sign that he was willing to accept her best friend's feelings for what they were and move on. She had told him in her own roundabout way what he meant to her and he had said that knowing that made up for everything else. She had thought that meant something; that maybe they were finally moving forward...then Farkle had shouted out "Riley still loves Lucas!" and deep down she had known in that moment that she had lost him, assuming she'd ever had him to begin with.

The blonde sat up, huffing in frustration. Apparently her brain hated her as much as the universe did. Not only would there be no happy ending for her, there would be no peace either. She threw the covers off and touched her feet to the stone cold floor. She needed a distraction, some way to get out of her head. The best way she had learned how to do that was art so she hopped out of bed and collected her sketch pad and pencils, hoping to get lost in a moment of inspiration, but all she could think about was Lucas and Riley and the inevitable fallout.

She tried not to think about the way Riley's eyes had pleaded for her forgiveness and understanding. She tried not to remember the hurt and shock on Lucas's face when she had basically told him that she wasn't sure she could still be his friend the way she had before. Most of all she tried to forget the feeling of her heart falling to the ground and shattering like a million tiny shards of glass all over the Mathews' living room floor. It had been her home away from home, her port in the storm over the years. She hated that it had been tainted with so much pain and disappointment in one afternoon. She wasn't sure she would ever be able to sit in that room again without remembering how she felt the day before.

She had run out of that apartment quicker than Speedy Gonzalez on fire. She wouldn't fall apart there in front of him, but the moment she had turned the corner in the hallway she had crumbled. It was as if all the oxygen had been sucked from her lungs. Suddenly it hurt to breathe. She gasped for air as the tears began to sting her eyes. Still she fought them. She wouldn't let them fall. She was not going to be that girl; the one that cried over a stupid boy. It didn't matter that no one had ever looked at her the way Lucas looked at Riley. It didn't matter that her best friend had lied to everyone and still gotten what she wanted. It didn't matter that Lucas Friar was just one more thing that she would never have. She didn't need him or anyone else for that matter, not when she had Riley.

Except now Lucas had Riley too.

He had gone from stranger to Riley's crush. From Riley's crush to friend, then from friend to Maya's crush and finally from Maya's crush to Riley's boyfriend. Ultimately he had become the enemy; a threat to what she and Riley shared before. It had always been just the two of them, well, them and Farkle. That was different though. Neither of the girls belonged to him and he belonged to them both equally. His ability to love them both the same amount and their inability to love him more than each other had made their little triangle work somehow. This was a much different kind of triangle because Lucas was completely Riley's and Riley cared just as much about him as she did about Maya...maybe more even.

She didn't want this, any of it. She just wanted to stop and go back to the way everything had been before, but that wasn't possible. In the span of that one day they had all gone too far to ever go back. Every time she looked at Lucas she was back by that campfire, under those stars, with his hands on either side of her face. Every time she even thought about Riley she was standing on that rooftop hearing how her best friend in the entire world had lied to her face and set her up for yet another fall. Lucas had unintentionally fed that fantasy when he had no desire to fulfill it and Riley had sat back and watched, no, encouraged it even, knowing that it wasn't meant to be. It wasn't any kind of cosmic sign from the universe that things could get better. It was just Riley trying to save her once more.

The young girl cried out in anguish, slinging her pencils and paper all over the room in the process.

"Peaches," a timid voice of concern emanated from behind.

Maya turned to face the object of her current inner turmoil, wishing to God she hadn't come.


	5. 4- Confrontation

**A/N: Yes there are more boys in the world but what fun would that be to write ;)**

Riley stood there completely frozen in his presence. She could feel his gaze drinking in the sight of her, probing her soul; doing his best to assess the damage left behind. Lucas stood before her equally mesmerized by the figure in front of him. He'd been imagining this moment since she had walked away from him yesterday. It hadn't even been twenty four hours since he'd seen her last but for some reason it felt so much longer.

His green eyes caressed each feature one by one; her deep brown eyes that seemed darker than he remembered them. They were slightly puffy and her nose was still a little red. He knew she would deny it, but it was obvious that she had been crying…because of him.

How could he have done this to her?

As he'd sat in his room trying to make his choice he had gone over every single memory from the moment he first met the girls on the subway. He'd glanced up from his book and his life had changed forever. He just didn't know it yet. The bold blonde and the bashful brunette had both become such important people in his life since then.

Almost every memory had screamed at him to choose Riley. It had always been Riley, from the moment she had fallen on his lap he had been completely captivated by her. He had put so much thought and effort into building their relationship, planning his moment; waiting for the right time that never seemed to come.

With Maya it had been the exact opposite. She had always been the friend; first Riley's and then his too. She was the girl that made fun of him even when he asked her not to. She was the girl who got up in his face for no reason. She was the girl who had jumped on his back to try and stop him from beating up Billy. The blonde beauty, the talented artist, the troublemaker, but never the girl he'd imagined being with. He hadn't planned his moment with her, it had just…happened. He didn't decide to take her face in his hands, he just did it. If he was being honest with himself, there had never been a choice. His actions had chosen for him.

The both stood in silence; taking one another in, uncertain of what to say or do next. He watched the flicker in her eyes; that shift from honesty to pageantry and suddenly he understood exactly why Maya hadn't come that morning.

'She would be faking it and I would know it.'

The brunette attempted to gather her wits as she sat down the shoe she hadn't realized she was still holding. She nervously reached out and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear, clearly she had missed a few pieces when she'd thrown it into the messy knot on top of her head. There was an urge to glance down and examine herself but she fought it. Why should it matter what she looked like right now? All that mattered was that he was standing here in her bedroom and she needed him to go.

"You can't be here Lucas." She blurted her thoughts without thinking and tried to ignore the pain in his eyes when their meaning registered for him.

"What?" he stood there in shock. He knew that things weren't ideal between them at the moment but was she really kicking him out?

"You can't be here," she repeated, her voice void of all emotion. Couldn't he understand why this was wrong?

"I can't come see my friend when I'm worried about her?" he implored.

"Of course you can but-"

"We are still friends aren't we? I mean, that's what you said yesterday."

Giving her up was proving to be more difficult than he had realized. He couldn't be losing her as a friend too.

"Yes, we're friends, always. But Lucas, you're Maya's boyfriend now."

He ran a hand through his hair in frustration why did being one have to affect the other? He still cared about Riley. He still wanted her in his life. She was his best friend; more than Zay, more than Farkle, more than anyone. She had seen the depths of his soul. He had shown her his mind and his heart. That couldn't all be undone in one moment, could it?

"So?"

She sighed, equally frustrated.

"So you can't be here with me, in my room, just the two of us. It's not appropriate anymore."

He knew that she was right. He wasn't supposed to be here. It was wrong and disrespectful to his relationship with Maya, but he had come anyway. He couldn't help himself. He had spent the entire day at school battling the urge to run to her, to make sure she was okay, to be there for her if she wasn't. That was his first instinct; to protect and comfort her. He had told himself he wouldn't come, that he would wait until she came back to school and respect their new situation, but when Maya had told him she had no intention of coming today it was as if she had given him permission to do what he had been telling himself not to. He liked Maya. He had chosen Maya…but he needed to see Riley.

"I know that you're just trying to be a good friend and check on me, but things are different now. We both need to get used to the fact that things aren't going to be the same anymore. I'm still your friend. I will always be your friend. We just need some boundaries, that's all." she elaborated.

Boundaries? Lucas didn't want boundaries. He didn't want to keep getting further apart. It had been driving him crazy slowly losing her for months. He had just started to get her back and now he felt as if he was losing her all over again.

"I'm okay, Lucas. Yeah, I'm a little sad right now, but I'm okay. You don't need to feel guilty or like you have to fix this." She said, reading his mind.

'She knows me so well,' he thought, a slight smile forming on his lips.

That was when he finally looked around the room and noticed their surroundings.

"What's all this?" he asked moving closer and gesturing to the pile of papers and pictures on her bed.

She shrugged trying to appear casual, though there was nothing casual about the contents of that mess on her bed.

"Oh that, it's nothing."

He stepped closer and examined the folded up pieces of papers.

"These are letters," he said picking up a couple from the top of the pile.

His green eyes widened as he examined them.

"They're all addressed to me." He stated flatly, though inside he was a tumultuous wreck.

She had written him letters. There were dozens upon dozens of them, all thrown in a pile on her bed next to pictures of the two of them together and her subway pass. She'd had so much to say to him and she'd poured them all out on these pages instead of just saying it. Why hadn't she been able to just say it? Why hadn't he?

She marched up next to him taking the letters from his hand, ignoring the tingly sensation of their fingers touching as she did so.

"They're nothing Lucas. Yesterday they might have been something, but today, they aren't. They're not important anymore." She replied as she flung the stack of unsent letters into the box and placing the lid on it.

For some reason that one act hurt Lucas more than he could even process, the fact that he would never know what she had written to him, that those words no longer mattered.

He knew that she was right…again.

They weren't supposed to mean anything, but they did. He had waited so long to hear what was really in her heart and she had always held back. Just once he wanted to know what he had honestly meant to her, even if it was too late.

She carried the box over to her closet and placed it on the highest shelf in the very back; somewhere she would never have to see it unless she went looking for it. Once she returned she bent down silently and picked up the trash bag with one hand and began tossing in shoes with the other.

"Are those my shoes?" he asked quizzically as he watched her literally throwing their memories away.

"Uh, yeah." She mumbled as she continued to bag up the shoes all over her floor.

"I was going to return them to you, but since you're here now you can just take them with you when you go," she stated.

She didn't tell him that there was still one shoe not in the pile. It was the first one he had ever lost for climbing through her window and she had no intention of giving it back.

Lucas stood there unable to process what was happening. She was boxing up their pictures, giving him back all his shoes. Everything about today felt so…final.

Because it was. He had closed the book on their unofficial thing yesterday with his choice. Now she was doing the same. They would never be "Riley and Lucas" again.

She threw the last shoe into the bag and knotted it off at the top before handing it to him. That was it, the final step. He had been romantically purged from her life. They really were just friends now.

"You should go now." She said matter-of-factly.

He nodded in agreement, but couldn't will his feet to move. Once he climbed out that window he had no idea what would happen to them but he knew nothing would ever be the same.

"It's okay," she assured him with a small smile. "I'll see you tomorrow."

* * *

Maya turned around to find Riley standing in her doorway, her eyes wide with horror. Of course, she had been there to witness her little tantrum. She should have realized that the brunette would come hunting her down, on a mission to fix what was broken between them. She knew that they would have to talk about what happened sooner or later, but she couldn't do it right now.

"You need to go," she demanded.

Riley had spent the entire walk over trying to figure out what to say to her best friend to make this better. She wasn't sure there was a way but she had to try. They were Riley and Maya. They'd been best friends since they were six years old. Surely, one boy, even one as wonderful as Lucas, couldn't change that, could it?

She had done everything she could possibly do to make Maya happy. She had made their friendship her number one priority from the start. The moment she realized how Maya felt about Lucas she had removed herself from the equation. She had told Maya to pursue her feelings and pushed Lucas toward figuring out his feelings for her as well. Even after Farkle had outed her feelings she had tried to deny them, but what was the point? They both knew her well enough to see that it was true. Even once Farkle had made her an option again she still hadn't acted on her feelings. Maya had to understand that she had always chosen her first, didn't she?

"I can't leave you like this," she insisted, her voice dripping in sugary sweetness.

Usually Maya would have appreciated Riley's concern, but not today. Today she didn't seem to appreciate anything or anyone. She didn't want to fight with Riley. She didn't want to push her away, but right now she was hurt and angry and she didn't trust herself not to lash out at the one person she needed most in her life.

"Riley, I'm warning you. You need to leave and you need to leave now."

The brunette shook her head in defiance.

"I'm your best friend Maya. I'm always going to be your best friend. So no, I'm not going to leave you. We're having a conflict and you don't leave in a conflict. You stay and you work through it. So that's what I'm going to do."

The blonde ran a hand through her long locks as she fumed inwardly. This was not an ice cream throwing conflict.

"You don't get it Riles. This is for your protection," she huffed.

The brunette pulled back in hurt and confusion.

"What is it you think you're protecting me from?" she asked curiously.

Maya threw her hands up in an aggravated manner.

"From me Riley. You need protecting from me because even though I love you, right now you're the last person I want to see, and I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to say things that I can't take back." She explained.

Riley tilted her head as she considered her best friend's warning.

"Would you mean these hurtful things you want to say?"

Maya hopped down from her seat and began picking up her art supplies.

"Yeah, Riles, I would."

Riley pondered on her reply.

"Then say it, Maya. We keep holding back to protect one another and it hasn't done either of us any favors. We just end up making things worse by lying to each other and holding things in. So say it."

Maya knew that Riley was right, and that only angered her more. She didn't want to do this. She didn't want to feel this way and she really didn't want to take it out on her best friend. She couldn't blame Lucas for choosing Riley over her, but she did blame Riley for putting her in the position to be passed over so easily.

"No, Riles, I'm not gonna fight with you." She shot back, her voice rising.

"I'm not asking you to fight with me, Maya. I'm asking you to talk to me," Riley retorted.

The blonde slammed her sketch pad and pencils down on the desk in front of her.

"Why?! Because sisters tell each other their secrets? Only you didn't tell me, Riley. You made me believe I actually had a chance. You made me hurt you over and over again without even realizing it. You should have just told me the truth!"

The brunette winced at her best friend's words, but she couldn't exactly disagree with her. She had been the one to say they shouldn't keep secrets from one another only to turn around and keep one of her own.

"You're right. I shouldn't have lied to you. Friends don't lie to each other. I just wanted you to be happy Maya." She reasoned.

"Do I look happy to you? Did I then? You might find this hard to believe but I don't enjoy wanting people that don't want me back."

The words left a bitter taste in her mouth. How many times had she made a fool out of herself chasing Josh? How many times had he told her he was too old for her and it was never going to happen? Lucas was closer in age but still just as unattainable. He only had eyes for one girl and if you weren't her, which Maya definitely wasn't, then you didn't stand a snowball's chance in hell with him.

Riley hung her head, her voice barely audible, "I thought he did..."

"Are you freaking kidding me?! Riley why would you think that? He's never said or done anything to imply I'm anything more than a friend to him until YOU pushed him into it. And even then it was always about you!"

Riley shrank at her words. She had been so sure that she was losing Lucas to her best friend, yet Maya seemed equally certain that she had never stood a chance. How could they have experienced the exact same things and come to such completely opposite conclusions?

"But he chose Mayaville-"

"Yeah, and then he went running right back to you. He was the sorriest excuse of a troublemaker ever. Trust me, you effectively neutered Mad dog Friar." She said with a snarky chuckle.

She had neutered him? She hadn't meant to. She had only encouraged him to think about the consequences of his actions and pursue his dreams. Why was she making that sound like a bad thing?

"But he called you beautiful..." She mumbled.

"And now he calls you girlfriend, doesn't he?" She insisted, needing to hear the words.

Riley avoiding her piercing blue gaze.

"We haven't actually talked about what we are yet." She said as she played with a strand of hair over her shoulder.

The blonde rolled her eyes and groaned.

"Seriously?! After this entire mess you two still can't get over yourselves and get together? After everything you put me through this year the least you can do is actually date, don't ya think?"

She glanced up hesitantly. At least they were talking now...sort of.

"Well things are different between us now. We actually did-"

Maya threw her hands up suddenly.

"Don't tell me that. I don't want to know what you and Ranger Rick are doing now!"

The brunette's eyebrows knit in confusion.

"But you just said-"

The blonde tossed her head back, wondering why she'd chosen a best friend that was always so much work.

"I said I want you two to get over yourselves and get together. Not that I need a play by play."

She stood there a moment processing Maya's words.

"So...we're not friends anymore?" She whispered sadly.

The blonde huffed once more.

"We're still friends, Riles. We just need a few ground rules. Rule number one, I don't want to- no I can't, listen to you go on about you and Hee-Haw."

Riley wasn't sure how this was supposed to work. How was she supposed to keep such a huge part of herself and her life out of their friendship? How were they all supposed to stay friends if she couldn't even bring him up? But she was desperate not to lose her best friend so she agreed…as long as they were still "Riley and Maya," that was all that mattered. The rest could work itself out with time.


	6. 5- Guilty Conscience

**A/N: Thank you so much for all of your wonderful words of encouragement and appreciation for this story. I am so glad that you all are enjoying reading this story as much as I am telling it!**

Maya sat on a small wooden bench located just outside the Mathews's apartment building. She had been trying to work up the nerve to climb the fire escape for at least an hour now, but every time she thought she'd finally gathered enough courage to do so she would remember the forced smile on Riley's face from the day before or the absence of her best friend that day. Ironically enough, she needed Riley's endless optimism and unconditional support more now than ever.

The blonde stared at the cement under her swinging feet. Right now she felt about as low as the creepy crawly things underneath it. For an entire class that had voted them cutest couple and talked about how great they would be together, none of them had reacted the way she had expected. Their classmates had all stared and whispered behind their backs. Their supposed friends had been less than encouraging as well. Zay hadn't come out and said that he had been rooting for Lucas to choose Riley, but it was obvious by the things he had said that he believed the two of them had just jeopardized the entire circle of friendship by becoming a couple.

Farkle's commentary probably had hurt the worst so far, but that was only because he had said all the things that her brain was already thinking. From the day they had met she and Riley had been one another's safe place. She and Farkle had tasked themselves with the responsibility of shielding her pure sweet soul from anything that might tarnish her rose colored view of the world. They hadn't managed to protect her from everything. Along the way she had learned that Pluto was no longer a planet. She had been bullied and occasionally disappointed, but nothing truly terrible had ever happened to her. They wouldn't allow it. The two had always feared that somehow something or someone would slip through their defenses and leave their little dreamer robbed of her light. Today Farkle had all but called her that person. She had become the terrible thing that had happened to Riley…or maybe she always had been? Maybe Riley would have been better off if Maya had never climbed through her window that day.

The Mathews had taken her in and made her one of them throughout the years. Right now she wanted more than anything to go upstairs and have Riley greet her with her standard "hey peaches," for Topanga to put her arms around her and assure her that everything was going to be okay, for Mathews to have some kind of lesson about how she and Riley were the best of friends that could survive anything and only good things would come from this experience but she knew none of those things were going to happen.

She knew that Riley would never hold her feelings against her or Lucas's choice, but she also knew that things would never be the same between the three of them again. Of course, she knew that they needed to talk and she wanted Riley to know that she was still her best friend, but right now Maya wasn't ready and she suspected Riley wasn't either.

Something amazing and completely unexpected had happened when Lucas had chosen her. After all those years of being the one always left behind or overlooked someone had finally wanted her. Maybe that should have been enough for her and she should just be happy, but she couldn't. Every time she had ever allowed herself to be the universe had found another way to put her back in her place. She had somehow managed to gain the attention of Lucas Friar...but at what cost?

Any time that Riley had come up throughout the course of the day she'd put on a brave face, but all her "I am Maya, hear me roar," bravado was nothing more than just that; an act for the audience. Lucas had done his best to pry the truth out of her, but she hadn't felt like sharing. Even if she had, it wasn't as if she could talk to him about the girl he could have chosen over her and the effects of him not doing so. She could barely talk to the boy at all. They could banter and flirt with the best of them, but any time it came to having an actual conversation they were lucky to drag more than a few stunted syllables out of one another.

That was okay. Talking was overrated. Brothers and Sisters talked. Friends talked. Boyfriends and girlfriends do what they did best; fight and makeup.

Of course Maya liked Lucas. What girl in her right mind wouldn't like him? He was extremely attractive, he was a great guy, and best of all he was fun to kiss. Every girl in their class had fawned all over Lucas since he'd moved to the city. Why was it so wrong whenever she did it? By the time she had started looking at him that way Riley had sworn up and down that she had no romantic interest in him. She had even been the one to push her into exploring her feelings for Lucas, so how could Maya be the one in the wrong here? She had only done what she thought Riley wanted at the time.

Somewhere between New Year's and the day before she had realized that she didn't know her best friend nearly as well as she thought she had. The Riley she knew would have completely overreacted to Lucas's declaration but this Riley hadn't reacted at all. This Riley was eerily calm, and calm Riley terrified Maya.

"I thought I might find you here," his voice was soft and sad as he sat down next to the sassy blonde.

"Oh, you're speaking to me again?" she retorted glancing up to challenge Farkle.

He had promised to love them equally. He had promised never to choose between the two of them, but his actions had turned his words into lies. She had come to him today as a friend seeking comfort and acceptance, but he had treated her like a traitor. Maybe she was, but hadn't they all betrayed one another at some point this year? Hadn't Riley when she had lied about her feelings for Lucas? Hadn't Farkle when he had exposed her to the entire class on the roof? Hadn't Lucas when he had made a choice between the girls? How was her transgression any worse than what the rest of them had done?

"Of course I'm speaking to you. You're still one of my best friends," he stated matter-of-factly, like a true scientist.

He had been upset earlier and perhaps allowed his animosity toward Lucas to spill over into his interaction with Maya, but he honestly hadn't meant to. Yes, he was disappointed at her chosen course of action. He'd never deny that, but he wasn't angry with her. He knew better than anyone that you couldn't control what you felt for another person. If he had been able to he'd still be a slave to science who understood nothing about romantic feelings whatsoever.

"Really? Cause it sure didn't seem that way this morning," she fired back unrepentantly. "You love Riley. I understand that, but you're not the only one that does. I love her too. So does Lucas, just not in the way she wants him to. Neither of us wanted to hurt her."

"Then why are you doing this, Maya? I'm a genius. There's not much I can't figure out, but no matter how hard, I try I can't understand this."

The blonde shrugged, uncertain how to respond. How could she make him understand something that she didn't even understand herself?

"It's not like I chose to like him, Farkle. I just…do." Her last word hung in the air between them, resembling a question more than an answer.

She hadn't asked for these feelings. She hadn't gone out seeking this overwhelming sensation. It had just happened somehow. Maya meant what she'd told Farkle. She genuinely loved Riley. She was her sister, her soulmate, the very best part of her. She would never have done anything to intentionally hurt her best friend. She hated that Riley was hurting, and though she liked Lucas, there was a part of her that despised them both for what they had done, but that was just it. It had already been done.

"You don't seem so sure of that," he observed.

Maya had never been a mystery to him, at least not until now.

He was trying to understand her side of things he really was, but from his current perspective all he could see was the damage this situation had already caused and fact that this choice had only made things worse instead of better.

She didn't seem to know what she felt from one moment to the next. She had begged him in Texas to tell her what she was feeling, to help her make sense of her own emotions. She hadn't been able to answer her question during the couple's game about loving two different people. She dumped a smoothie on his head and then they sat in silence. None of these things screamed "I like you" to him. Even now that they were officially together she still seemed just as bewildered as she had that night she'd laid her head on his shoulder.

"Do you even know what you like about him, Maya?" he asked genuinely curious, desperate for her to say something that would make this situation seem better.

"I like kissing him," she said with an amused smirk.

"I'm not sure that's the same thing Maya."

"Of course it is. People who are just friends don't do that. They don't even want to do that. I don't go around kissing you," she wasn't trying to be cruel with that reasoning. She was simply trying to put it into a context his overly brainy brain might understand.

"Fine, but what else do you like about him?" he challenged.

Why did she like Lucas? She'd spent more hours than she could possibly count trying to answer that question. Out of all the boys in all the world, why did she have to like the same boy her best friend did? What was it about him that made it so impossible for her not to cross that line that could potentially destroy everything they had spent the last seven years building? It was when she had seen something crack that perfect exterior, when he had fought for something that she loved and made her feel worthy, when had comforted and validated her.

"He's a good guy, a great guy…one of the best I know." She stammered, uncertain what else to say.

Both couldn't help but notice that for someone who claimed to like Lucas so much, she didn't seem to know a single thing about him.

"I'm not saying you don't feel something for Lucas or that he doesn't feel something for you, but since you've both admitted that you're confused about your feelings I just don't understand why you would do this without knowing for sure or thinking it through. Lucas is great," he wasn't sure he believed that anymore but for argument's sake he'd let that one go for now, "but is he really worth more to you than your friendship with Riley?"

He didn't care who ended up with Lucas, really. He never had. He just wanted the girls to stay together and everyone to be happy. The choice had been made, but no one, not even the girl who had supposedly won the prize, seemed any happier for it.

With that one simple question he'd released her inner demons and unmasked her greatest fear.

"Lucas chose, not me, and Riles and I will be best friends forever. She would never stop talking to me just because Lucas likes me and I like him."

"There's more than one way to lose someone," Farkle mumbled.

She eyed him suspiciously, "what is that supposed to mean oh cryptic one?"

"It means that you're lying to yourself Maya. You keep saying that you didn't do anything wrong and nothing bad will happen, but you don't actually believe that. You would up there with her instead of sitting down here on this bench with me if that were true. You're afraid to face her, Maya, and it's not because she's going to lash out or be spiteful. She's Riley, she doesn't even know how to be those things. So what are you so afraid of, if I'm wrong?"

She chewed on her bottom lip, one question rolling around in her head after everything he had said. She eyes met his gaze, her clear blue eyes sparkling like sapphires from the unshed tears that she refused to let fall as she whispered, "How do you know that?"

The boy sitting next to her just shrugged and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Because I know you."

* * *

Riley trudged the entire way home from Maya's apartment, their confrontation still fresh in her mind. The blonde had said they were still friends, but she had also made it very clear that their friendship was going to require changes. There were lines drawn in the sand about what was and was no longer appropriate now. She didn't want lines and rules. She just wanted to be Maya and Riley again.

Of course, she also wanted to be Lucas and Riley as well. Maya had said she could have both. In fact, she had insisted on it. She'd invested a lot of time, effort, and now heartache into bringing the two of them together. After all, Riley might not even know Lucas if Maya hadn't pointed him out that day on the subway and pushed her onto his lap. She wouldn't have had her first date with him if Maya hadn't asked him out first and then agreed to go out with Farkle that night. Every special moment they had shared together Maya had always been there cheering them on and giving them a gentle yet not so subtle nudge toward one another. What would happen to them now that Maya wasn't there to keep facilitating their progress? Would they be able to move forward without her encouragement or would they fall apart without it?

Most of all, she just wanted the three of them to all stay friends, but she didn't know how that was supposed to work with all these rules and lines involved.

Instead of going through her own front door she found herself climbing the fire escape, just like Maya had; just like Maya does, she corrected herself. She wasn't gone. They were still best friends. It was the two of them, forever, until they both, well, you know. She couldn't do the motions without Maya. She couldn't do anything without Maya. Once she had made it through her window she did what any wannabe princess in her situation would do; she flung herself onto the nearest object and cried inconsolably.

Lucas had been sitting in his bedroom nervously tapping his foot against the floor for the last hour.

"Dude, enhance your calm," Zay spoke slowly and dulcet, as if attempting to soothe a wounded animal or a spooked horse.

Lucas couldn't "enhance his calm," he was too busy worrying about what was happening between Riley and Maya at the moment. He still wasn't sure how he and his relationship with Riley had somehow become a wedge between her and her best friend but he hated it. Maya had been through enough pain and disappointment already. He'd never wanted to be a name on the list of people that had caused her unnecessary anguish, and he certainly hadn't meant to do so.

He's spent days and weeks trying to discern what his part in all of this was. Had he somehow misrepresented his intentions or led her on? If so, he didn't know how. Okay yes, the moment at the campfire he had flirted with that line, but in the end he hadn't been able to cross it. He hadn't been able to give up on Riley even when he thought that she had already given up on him, and he never would.

The guilt was already eating her alive. He could see it every time he looked into those beautiful chocolate eyes that part of her was fading away slowly; the part of her that didn't know how to exist without Maya. He wanted to be enough to keep that spark in her lit, but he was afraid only one person in the entire world knew how to do that, and that person was probably too busy dealing with her own grief to ease Riley's.

Right now each day was a struggle. He woke up every morning fearing that today would be the day that she would succumb to her fear and remorse, and he would lose her all over again. That had been the only down side he could see of choosing her; the fact that she could walk away from what they shared when he clearly didn't have it in him to do the same. He couldn't lose her again. He had barely made it through the first time.

Lucas examined his phone again. It had been over an hour. He didn't know if this was a good or bad sign. She had yet to respond to any of his texts, but that could be because she and Maya were still clearing the air, couldn't it? If they were making progress the last thing he wanted was to interrupt.

But what if they weren't making progress? Maya was obviously hurting and had every right to be. He now knew first-hand how it felt to be rejected by the person you want and he wouldn't wish that on anyone...especially not a friend. He still thought of Maya as a friend, even if she had washed her hands of him. He wanted to help her get through this, but he didn't know how to do that. There didn't seem to be any way to make this one better. They would just have to ride it out and hope for the best. His foundation with Maya might not be strong enough for his relationship with her to survive but surely Riley's friendship with her would be able to weather this storm and they'd come out on the other side.

Right?

He pulled out his phone again and texted Mr. Mathews, only to have his worst fear realized. Riley had been home for the last half hour upstairs crying.

"Uh, I hate to cut this short buddy, but I gotta go see Riles," he said as he shoved his phone back into his pocket.

"You've only had a girlfriend for a day and you're already ditching me? I see how it is," the boy responded in his usual teasing manner.

"If I don't go I might not have a girlfriend soon," he mumbled.

Zay understood why Riley had wanted to go see Maya after school. It was the only reason he had chosen not to. The girls were in the middle of some serious drama and he wanted to give them a chance to work things out, but judging by Lucas's mad dash to Riley, it hadn't gone well. They had both made mistakes from what he could see and were equally to blame for what was happening, but he didn't imagine Maya was in the mood to hear that right now and Riley was too busy beating herself up to consider that maybe Maya was partially responsible.

Riley was still lying on her bed mourning her relationship with Maya whenever Lucas came through the window. She was so lost in her own pain and guilt she hadn't even heard him come in. He wordlessly walked over and bent down next to the bed, brushing the hair from her face and whispering words of apology and concern. It broke his heart to see her like this, even more so to know he's had a hand in causing it.

He had thought he was doing the right thing by ending their backwards pseudo triangle. He hadn't wanted to choose. He would have gladly waited until the situation had resolved itself, but Maya had just wanted it to end, really they all did. They just didn't want to face the consequences that would follow. He'd thought he was being kind, ending her misery when he knew that his heart had never left Riley in Texas, instead of dragging it out for weeks or worse months, only to come to the same bitter conclusion. It had always been Riley and he couldn't see that changing anytime in the near future.

Finally his voice broke through whatever thoughts were consuming her. She peered up at him like a timid little girl, tears trickling down her cheeks.

"She hates us, Lucas," she whispered sullenly.

"Did she say that?" He asked.

No matter how upset Maya was he couldn't imagine her hating Riley.

"She didn't have to. She has to hate us, Lucas...I do. Don't you?" He cared just as much about his friends as she did hers and Maya was both of theirs. He had to be feeling just as horrible about what they had done to her as she was, didn't he?

Lucas's heart wrenched in his chest. Did she really hate being with him? Yes, he hated that Maya was hurting, but there was nothing he could have done to prevent that. The only comfort he'd found in this entire mess was that he and Riley were finally together, that they could get one another through this.

"I hate that Maya is hurting, but I could never hate you, Riley, or being with you." He replied, his voice revealing his emotions on the subject.

She looked into his dark green eyes and instantly felt another pang of guilt; not for Maya, but for Lucas. She sat up slowly and touched his face, with a small smile. Only he could make her smile at a time like this.

"I didn't mean it like that. I could never hate you, Lucas, and I'm happier with you than I have been in months...its just I don't know how to be happy when she isn't. This, all of this, is new to me, to us. It's just gonna take some time I think," she explained what was going on inside her to the best of her ability.

"She asked me if I was your girlfriend today," she said sadly.

Lucas stood up and sat down next to the brunette. Her nose was read from all her tears and her eyes were slightly puffy but she was still beautiful.

"What did you tell her?" He asked, holding his breath, praying she wasn't about to pull away from him.

She leaned her head on his shoulder, exhaustion starting to set in.

"I didn't know what to tell her. We haven't actually talked about what we are now. I mean...I know things are definitely...different between us, but we haven't discussed it and I don't want to assume anything. That's part of what got us into this mess in the first place..." She trailed off regretfully.

Maya might not have gotten so hurt if Riley had never doubted Lucas to begin with.

Technically they hadn't talked about it yet. He had just...assumed. There was that word again. She was right, if they had any hope of being happy together they had to start talking about things. Actions did speak louder than words, but verbal confirmation was important too.

"I kind of always thought of you that way. I knew we had agreed to be friends but I thought we were waiting for each other, until we were ready...and I'm hoping that you are because I am. I want you to be my girlfriend." He admitted with an enamored grin.

"I want that too," she admitted with a sheepish smile of her own.

He wrapped his arms around her and smoothed her hair before kissing the top of her head.

"I was hoping you would."

They sat there a few moments before Riley lifted her head to meet his gaze.

"Do you wanna get out of here and do something fun? I've had all the sadness I can take for one day."

His heart nearly burst from his chest at her request. It was such a small gesture, but it was those small gestures that had made such an impact on him. She had the ability to touch his soul with just one look or touch. He felt more sitting there doing something as simple as taking her hand than he had in what some could argue the most "passionate" moment of his life by that campfire. It wasn't better worse necessarily, just deeper.

"I thought you'd never ask princess," he said as he intertwined their fingers and she led him toward the door.


	7. 6- Turning Tables

**Thank you again everyone for all your love and support! I truly have the most amazing friends and readers in the entire world and I couldn't be more thrilled that we've found one another. I will be scaling back on updates for the next little bit but I am planning on doing at least one a week so we will continue this journey that we've started together. I love your thoughts and feelings on the subject so please continue to share them with me via review. Follows and Faves are always welcome too of course!**

Riley sat at her bay window watching the sun slowly creep into the sky. Maya was right, everything really did look more beautiful at the beginning and end of the day. The beginning had always been her favorite part, the most optimistic part. As Anne Shirley would say "it was a fresh day, with no mistakes in it." Maybe if she didn't do anything but sit at this window and breathe while watching the sun rise and fall there would be no more mistakes?

She'd been awake for hours mentally and emotionally preparing for whatever this day might bring. It was her first day back at school since Maya and Lucas had officially become a couple. There had been enough time between then and now for the news to spread throughout the student body which probably meant more thoughtless commentary on how perfect the two were for one another and how lacking her unofficial something with Lucas had seemed to them…obviously he had felt that way too or he wouldn't have chosen her best friend.

It was this time last year that she had sat in this same window with Maya after her first date with Lucas. She come home drifting on a cloud, on a high she'd never experienced before. It wasn't fireworks or electricity; those were violent and potentially dangerous. This was something gentle and natural and completely right…at least it had been to her.

Something inside her had changed that day. She'd felt the rain, but it wasn't until they had spent time together throughout that year talking and laughing and learning together that she had realized that something had been planted in her that night and growing ever since. Wasn't that what rain did? It brought things to life. He had brought something to life inside of her, he had stirred her soul in a way she couldn't understand or explain. It was only when it was too late that she had realized her true feelings for him.

How could one kiss inspire a garden for her and a dessert for him at the same time? That was something she still couldn't understand. They had shared the same experience and seemed to feel the same things in that moment yet managed to come to two completely separate and opposite conclusions.

But none of that mattered anymore…

Today was a new day; the beginning of a new era in their lives, and despite her personal feelings which she had neatly boxed up and discarded both literally and metaphorically, she was determined to greet it with a smile.

She'd expected to be walking to school alone when Maya hadn't come through her window for the second morning in a row, but much to her surprise the blonde was sitting on the bench outside of her apartment building, waiting for her.

"I would have gone through the window, but I wasn't sure if that was a good idea," she confessed, her voice unusually small and timid.

The brunette tilted her head as she contemplated Maya's words. No matter what had changed between the girls and Lucas they were still Maya and Riley, Honey and Peaches. Surely, she had to know that nothing would ever change that?

"Why wouldn't it be a good idea?" she asked, not understanding the petite blonde's hesitance at all.

Maya shrugged in response. How could Riley not understand what she was trying to say?

"I wasn't sure that you'd want to see me…" she confessed glancing down at her shoes.

Maya was the bravest, boldest, most shameless person she had ever known. To hear her so scared and see her so uncertain felt foreign and wrong.

"I told you, peaches, you're still my friend. We're all still friends. That's what matters to me," Riley said as she placed a reassuring hand on her best friend's shoulder.

The blonde's blue eyes began to mist over as a faint smile played on her lips before disappearing again.

"Okay, so maybe you don't hold what happened against me, but what about your family? Your dad couldn't even look at me yesterday."

Riley hadn't known that. No one had told her, and honestly she wasn't sure how to feel about it. Her first instinct was always to choose Maya, but even though she didn't want to admit it, there was tiny fraction of her that was both shocked and relieved that someone had bothered to take her into consideration.

"My dad might be a little upset right now, but he loves you. You are just as much his daughter as I am, and he's going to remember that. You'll see."

Maya sighed and leaned her head on the brunette's shoulder.

It was the first time that she had felt completely safe since…honestly she couldn't remember that far back. Before everything had started changing would be her best guess.

"So," she said as she removed her head, "we riding to school or what?"

Riley nodded, "actually we're going to have to walk. I lost my subway pass."

She hated that she was already lying again but she couldn't exactly tell Maya what she had done with it.

The girls linked arms and began walking toward the school.

Lucas was already there when they arrived. Normally he would be sitting there talking with Zay and Farkle, but Farkle hadn't spoken so much as a word to him since the day before and for the first time since he had known Zay the subject never seemed to get past the weather or sports.

The moment the girls turned the corner his heart leapt and fell all at the same time.

There she was.

There they were.

Together.

For that one second in time it was as if nothing had changed. As they made their way down the hall he couldn't help but smile until his green eyes met Riley's deep brown and she turned hers down away from his gaze, unable to look at him. That was when he remembered that nothing was the same.

They all three stood there in awkward silence wondering what were they supposed to do now?

Riley smiled as cheerfully as she could manage under the circumstances and took the lead.

"You know what the best thing about everything being out in the open is?" she asked them.

Maya and Lucas looked at one another with puzzled expressions. The only good they had been able to find in this situation so far came when their lips were touching, and they doubted Riley would consider that the best part.

"What's that?" Maya asked with a shrug, her blue eyes carefully studying her best friend.

"That we don't have to do this," she gestured to the space between the three of them with her hands, "anymore. We don't have to keep walking on eggshells or second guessing what we should say. We can just go back to being friends."

Lucas found her speech completely contradictory to everything she had said in her bedroom just yesterday. He was trying not to think about the letters in the box that he would never have the chance to read or the trash bag of shoes now sitting in his closet. He still hadn't had the heart to go through them and reunite them with their missing partners. None of these things were supposed to have any relevance for him now but he couldn't help it. When she'd put that box in her closet he had felt as though he'd lost something…something important; and when she'd returned his shoes, he'd felt as if there were something else that she had given back to him…something he had meant for her to keep. He felt it again now as he stood next to her.

What did that mean?

The moment the three of them walked through the door a hush fell over the classroom. Zay entered behind her and watched as the entire class began to gawk in the poor girl's direction.

"Alright folks. I know I'm pretty, but there's no need to stare," he said raising his hands attempting to avert their attention from her to him.

Riley could feel the eyes of everyone there on her as she calmly and quietly made her way to her seat at the front of the room. She was in the perfect position to be observed as they all watched anxiously for some kind of reaction. She wasn't naive enough to believe they cared about her feelings. She and her friends were merely cheap entertainment to their classmates.

Once seated she turned and mouthed the words thank you to Zay, which he acknowledged with a wide knowing grin and a nod.

Farkle placed a hand on her shoulder consolingly, which she covered with her own to acknowledge his gesture, but she couldn't look at him. She was trying so hard to be okay; with Lucas, with Maya, with the whispers and stares. He knew she would likely spend the entire day wearing that smile and assuring everyone that she was fine; doing her best to make the people that had hurt her the most feel less guilty about it. She would expend all her energy portraying the image of peace and acceptance, and because that was what they wanted to see, no one would dare look beyond the surface.

His gaze traveled from the overly composed brunette to the completely unraveling blonde next to her. After their conversation the day before he was now just as concerned for the girl that Lucas had chosen as he was the one Lucas had tossed aside. Riley's heartbreak had been the obvious result of that decision. However his conversation with Maya had led him to the conclusion that she was equally in crisis. The difference was that no one seemed to realize it, herself included.

Cory walked into his classroom and his eyes immediately landed on his little girl. She looked up at him and smiled, sending the unspoken message that she was handling the situation well and wanted nothing more than for today to be like any other. Her father slightly nodded before addressing the class as a whole and beginning the lesson for the day. Not once did he liken the subject to their current circumstances, nor did he look directly at Lucas or Maya.

Keeping to the rules that had been set for interacting with Maya had come relatively easy for Lucas. Behind closed doors they were Maya and Lucas, boyfriend and girlfriend; but whenever they were in public they simply did what they had always done. It was second nature for them both.

Distancing himself from Riley was an entirely different matter. Nothing about the new terms of their friendship felt natural or right. It went against every instinct that Lucas had where she was concerned. They had only been like this for a day, less than a day, and already he missed her. His day just wasn't the same without their long talks and private jokes. He wasn't the same without them.

Zay sat in the back of the class watching the disaster in front of him transpire like a nine car pileup. Farkle was watching Maya, who was busy watching Lucas, who didn't even realize he was being noticed because his eyes were on Riley, along with every other person in the classroom, including Mr. Mathews. It was exactly what he'd been worried about once he'd realized what Lucas had done.

Her classmates had responded to the news of her return exactly as Riley had predicted. Fortunately her friends did their best to shield her from their thoughtless remarks and artificial sympathy. She had expected the tension between herself and the new couple. Once Lucas had made a choice it had been obvious to her that the nature of their relationship would have to change. Somehow she'd been so consumed with the thought of what was now appropriate and inappropriate between the two of them that she hadn't thought about the rest of the group and how this might change their dynamic as a whole.

She wasn't sure why everything else had to change because the three of them had, but there was no denying that it had happened. Oddly enough the only thing that seemed remotely similar was the way Maya and Lucas were acting. She had been afraid to walk in and see them holding hands or gazing into one another's eyes, but they weren't doing any of the things that she had been trained to expect as romantic behavior. She found it strange how they could be her sense of normalcy when they were also the reason that nothing else was the way it had always been.

As soon as school let out Maya grabbed Lucas by the arm and yanked him to the spot outside the building where she had cornered him the day before. The day had been absolutely horrible from start to finish and she needed to end it on a better note. Seeing the way everyone was tiptoeing around her best friend while simultaneously talking about her behind her back was enough to make the blonde feel sick. Knowing that she and Lucas were the cause of it had only made her feel worse. She needed to feel good again and there was only one way she knew how to do that.

She shoved him up against the wall forcefully and leapt to meet his lips. Instinctively he dropped his belongings and wrapped his arms around his petite blonde girlfriend, pulling her closer, needing this just as much as she did. The only time he could live with what he had done to his friends, to himself….to Riley….was in the fever of kissing Maya.

Suddenly he heard a small gasp that made his stomach lurch and his heart drop. Before he even opened his eyes he knew it was her. The beautiful brown eyes that he had been longing to make contact with all day were now staring right at him with a mixture of shock and agony.

God he wished she hadn't seen this!

As Lucas pulled back, Maya turned to see what had distracted him only to find Riley standing behind her with tears in her eyes. The blonde looked up to Lucas, who seemed too lost in his own guilt to notice her own, then back to the brunette.

"Honey, I…" What could she possibly say?

Riley raised her hand to silence Maya before donning that smile she'd been wearing throughout the duration of the day.

"It's okay, peaches. You walked with me this morning. You should walk home with Lucas."

As she turned to walk away Lucas fought the urge to run after her. He couldn't leave his girlfriend standing there alone, nor could he profusely apologize for kissing her in her presence, or say that it wasn't what it looked like. He had made his choice. Even if he wanted to take it back, it was too late now. It wouldn't undo the tears that she'd cried or the wall that she had built between them.

She was already gone…

* * *

Maya hit the snooze on her alarm four times before finally forcing herself from her bed. It was the second morning that she hadn't climbed through Riley's window before school and she was contemplating making it a new habit. As much as she loved her best friend it hurt too much to see her at the moment. She wouldn't even be going to school today if her mother hadn't stayed home from work today to make sure that she didn't stay home. She'd been understanding about the day before to detox and cope but with graduation fast approaching she'd insisted that now wasn't the time for Maya to start ditching classes. Much to the young girl's dismay her mother had a point. The only sunny spot in this cloud of darkness was that in just a couple weeks school would be over and summer vacation would be upon them.

In the past Maya and Riley had spent every waking moment of those three months together. She fondly recalled the sleepovers, girl's nights with Topanga, and family trips that she had taken with her best friend and her family. She wasn't sure what the summer held yet, but she highly doubted that it would be anything like the summers of the past.

As she stood there on the subway by herself she glanced first at the empty spot next to her and then at the priority seat where Lucas had been sitting that first morning. This was where their worlds had all first collided. She could practically see the younger versions of them haunting that subway car. This was also where Maya had tried to push Riley away and she'd come back, insisting that Maya was the most important person in her world and she would always fight for their friendship.

At least that part was still true.

The "pretty brunette" had come to do just that yesterday, only Maya hadn't been ready or willing to hear anything she'd had to say at the time. She was hurt and angry and in true Maya form she had done what she did best; broken something. In this case, that something was her best friend. By the end of her bitter tirade Riley had been in tears and Maya hadn't even flinched at the time. She hadn't wanted to be cruel. She hadn't wanted to say those things, but in typical Riley fashion, the brunette had pushed and pushed until the blonde had snapped.

Riley had spent all morning waiting in her bay window, hoping that Maya would come. She knew that there was a lot of anger and hurt between them at present, but she truly believed that they would find a way to work through this, just as they had always found a way to work through everything else life had thrown at them.

She'd expected to make the long lonely walk to school by herself, but someone unexpected had been waiting for her when she had finally gone downstairs.

Maya was already at her locker when Riley and Lucas walked into the hallway, hand in hand. Seeing the two of them together like that filled the blonde with conflicting emotions that she didn't understand. She didn't want to be the one holding his hand, but she did want to be the one that he had chosen. The mere sight of her best friend made all her rage from the day before begin boiling toward the surface, yet she also found herself…happy, for her? She was happy that Riley was happy, and angry that Riley being happy meant that she wasn't allowed to be, all at the same time.

The moment Riley caught a glimpse of Maya she instinctively removed her hand from Lucas's grasp, not wanting to hurt Maya any more than she already had. She knew how much it would kill her to see him holding her best friend's hand. Just imagining it was more than she had been able to bear. Her brown doe eyes met with Maya's azure gaze, a swirl of unreadable emotions between the two girls.

Lucas stood helpless, uncertain of what to do to help either of them.

Maya hadn't spoken to him since the day she'd left the Mathews apartment, after Riley had left them alone to discuss his choice and their relationship. He had called and texted her several times, but each attempt had gone unanswered and each message ignored. Maybe he should have gone to see her the day before, but he hadn't; partially because he knew that she and Riley making amends was far more important, and if he was being honest a little because he had been worried that seeing him would only make things harder for everyone.

Riley stood there; afraid to move or even breathe. Her first instinct was to try and fix things but that only seemed to make everything worse. It was that drive that had inspired her to lie about her feelings and push Lucas and Maya together. It was that same initiative that had led her to Maya's doorstep the day before. Both her endeavors had ended up disasters of epic proportions. Thanks to her and her very wrong instincts, everyone she knew was now mangled mentally or emotionally in some way.

As Maya entered the classroom everyone's eyes darted away from the irate blonde and the steel blue sleet of her glare. Talking about her predicament in her absence was one thing, but no one dared mention it to her face. Though she was small in stature she was known as one of the fiercest girls in the entire school, and therefore rather intimidating.

Farkle sat silently, shrinking in her presence. His brilliant deductive skills had made him privy to the storm that had been brewing between the friends for months. He'd immediately been able to pick up on the subtle changes in Riley that had revealed both her lack of romantic interest in Charlie Gardner, as well as her true feelings for Lucas. His keen observation had allowed him distinguish the difference in Lucas's regard for Maya and his deep affection for Riley.

The knowledge of these things had tortured him as he'd watched all three of his friends dance closer and closer toward the edge of a proverbial cliff. Each day Maya became more invested, Lucas became more confused, and Riley became more depressed. He had to say something. Though perhaps he could have thought of a better time and manner of doing so than blurting it out in front of the entire class on New Year's Eve…

For someone who was supposed to be a genius, that had been a pretty dumb, dumb course of action.

He'd spoken up because he believed it was in the best interest of everyone. They were friends and friends shouldn't lie to one another. He had honestly believed that he'd done the right thing in sharing what he knew with Lucas and Maya, but she had never looked at him the same way since that night. Somehow she couldn't see the difference between what he had done and what Lucas had done.

Riley was still frozen in the hallway. She had to go into that classroom. There was no debating that, but how? How was she supposed to get from here to there when she had somehow lost the ability to control her own limbs?

Lucas stood there, studying her every move, every gesture; hating this roller coaster they were on. Yesterday she hated both of them. This morning they were blissfully happy, and now he was hesitant to even reach for her hand; afraid that if he did she might withdraw it again. He wanted to comfort her and ease her mind, but he wasn't sure how he could do that if she wouldn't let him.

She glanced over at him, her eyes dark and uncertain. Five minutes ago she had looked at him and seen her boyfriend. When Maya had first retreated she'd looked over at him and seen the source of the conflict between her and her best friend. Now as she drank in the sight of him all she saw was the way in which she had betrayed the most important person in her world.

His green eyes found hers and against everything she had been feeling in that moment a warmth and tranquility began to flow through her…the feel of summer rain on her skin was somehow coursing through her veins. Only he could do this to her. Only he made her feel this way.

How could that possibly be wrong?

"It's going to be okay," he soothed. He wasn't sure how or when but it was going to be okay at some point. It had to be.

"What if it isn't, Lucas? What if I lose her?" the words flowed from her before she could even think them.

He wanted to believe that wouldn't happen. She and Maya had been friends since they were children. Surely they had encountered tougher obstacles than this, and beaten them. He refused to believe that he could be the undoing of the strongest, most resilient relationship he'd ever seen.

"You won't," he assured her, but she shook her head at his statement.

"You can't promise that," she replied, her voice frail and meek.

Lucas wrapped his arm about his girlfriend and pulled her close to him. Riley leaned into his embrace and wrapped her arms around his waist as he held her. Maya wasn't there to see and the brunette desperately needed the safety she felt when nestled there.

"You're right. I can't promise you that you won't lose Maya. I don't think you will, but I can't promise that," he said as he brushed the hair from her face with one hand, "but I can promise you that whatever happens between you and Maya, you won't lose me."

She looked up at him with those big brown eyes, and smiled before placing her lips over his in a soft and simple kiss.

"Good, cause I really couldn't take losing you either."

He returned her smile and slid his hand into hers, ready to face whatever happened with Maya together. She glanced down at them and sighed.

"Do you think that's a good idea? She's in there and if she sees this…" she trailed off unable to finish the sentence.

Lucas understood why she wanted to pull back, but they had already made the choice to be together. It did no one, including Maya, any favors to pretend otherwise.

"Riles, she knows that we're together. This," he raised their hands in emphasis, "is part of us being us. We can't let other people keep affecting how we feel about each other or how we act with one another. We do what we do, remember?"

"But it's not people Lucas, it's Maya. We might not even be together if she hadn't pushed me on your lap that day. Don't we owe it to her to consider her feelings?"

He firmly believed that holding back wouldn't help make this any better for his friend, but he could see that this wasn't an argument that he could win either so they walked into class together, hands to themselves.

The moment Cory Mathews entered his classroom his eyes fell on Maya Hart. She'd been climbing through his daughter's window since she was six years old. She'd spent more birthdays, holidays, and family vacations with them than he could possibly count. She wasn't just Riley's best friend. She was part of the family. He hated seeing her so angry and lost. He hated that she felt she couldn't come to him just because Riley was his daughter. He loved both of his girls and just wanted to know they were both going to be okay.

When the bell rang Maya dashed out of the classroom, determined to avoid her so called friends.

Farkle had had betrayed her. He'd sat there in that window just a few months before and assured her that she could always count on him to keep his words; that he would always love them both the same, that he would always be there for her. None of those promises had prevented him from embarrassing her on that rooftop or shifting the odds in Riley's favor. None of those promises had inspired him to apologize for the pain he had caused or check on her the day before when she'd laid out of school. He had completely abandoned her when she'd thought she'd needed him. Next to Riley, he'd been the closest friend she'd had.

She couldn't even look at Lucas. Each time she did she had to bite back the urge to punch him in his pretty face. How could he do this to her? How could he do it to Riley? If he actually cared about either of them then how could he have forced himself between them like this? Didn't he understand that they needed one another? Looking back she could see that he'd never actively pursued her nor had he really done anything to lead her on. He hadn't asked or expected Maya to develop feelings for him, but he had chosen between them, knowing it could mean the very end of them. How could Dudley Dooright have possibly been so selfish? Wasn't he supposed to be some kind of gracious hero that did anything for anyone?

Then there was Riley…

She honestly wasn't avoiding Riley to punish her. Actually it was just the opposite. Riley was always so concerned with saving Maya and everyone else, that she never recognized when she, herself, needing saving. Maya wanted nothing more than to go to her friend and act as if nothing had changed but she couldn't. She couldn't trust herself to be around the sweet, silly, goofball that she loved so dearly and missed so much; not after the horrible things she'd said to her and the way she'd stared her down in the hall. The best thing that she could do if she wanted their friendship to survive was to stay away until she had a better grip on her emotions.

Maya was hiding outside during lunch when she heard someone come up behind her.

"This seat taken sugar?"

She smiled with relief as she gestured to the vacant spot next to her.

"So we're sitting," he observed.

"Yep," she stated, dragging out the vowel sound.

"Are we talking?" he asked curiously, causing her to glance at him with a funny expression.

"You certainly seem to be." She replied.

Zay nodded, his mouth forming an upside down U shape.

"I only ask cause all your friends are in there," he pointed to the building behind them, "and you're out here," he said pointing to the ground they were sitting on it.

She rolled her eyes at his statement. There was nothing in there for her at the moment.

"You're here," she commented.

"Only cause you let me be. Why you let me but not them? Not that I'm complaining."

She chewed on the corner of her lower lip and she considered her response.

"Because you're the only one I'm not mad at. You never pushed him to pick Riley. I get why he picked her…but it would just be nice to have someone completely on my side, ya know?"

The boy nodded again before placing his hand on her shoulder, "consider me Team Honeynugget then."

The blonde leaned her head against his hand, grateful that he had come to New York and that he'd become such a good friend. She could really use one at the moment.


	8. 7- Fear and Doubt

Lucas stood helplessly watching Riley's silhouette shrink in size as she got further away. His heart began pounding wildly, as if trying to leap from his chest and follow her, but of course it was confined by the cage in which it resided. All he had ever wanted from the moment they had met was to be close to her, to listen to her stories and sit in comfortable silence, to catch her whenever she fell. He'd wanted so badly to be the hero that she saw him as. Riley had never actually asked him to be anyone other than himself, nor had she turned her back on him once she'd gotten a glimpse of who he had been before. For a little while he'd thought that perhaps he could be different, but that side of him always seemed to take control in the heat of the moment.

Slamming Billy against the wall in gym class…

Shouting at her in history…

Pinning Zay's latest bully to the lockers…

Taking Maya's face between his hands in Texas…

Moments were tricky things.

The moment that Maya had grabbed him by the arm and led him outside he had known exactly what was going to happen and he had welcomed it. As he'd pulled Maya closer and began kissing her back everything felt completely right for the first time that day. It felt good to hold her in his arms and feel her lips against his. It felt vital to cling to the one good part amongst all the ruin. This undeniable something between the two of them was the only thing that justified all the damage done.

But then in the next moment everything had shifted yet again.

One minute he was standing there, kissing his beautiful girlfriend, her fire breathing life into him after a long day of feeling nothing but guilt and self-hatred, and the next he was looking into those deep brown eyes, searching in vain for the flecks of gold he used to adore. Gone was the light and admiration from her eyes. Gone was her faith in him. In that moment Riley had felt like the girlfriend and kissing Maya, something that had felt so essential mere seconds ago, now felt like a betrayal.

In one confusing moment that he still didn't entirely understand he had fallen from the knight in shining armor slaying her dragons, to the villain slashing her heart to ribbons, and he hated himself for it.

Suddenly his heart dropped to his stomach. What if this was the last time he ever saw her? What if this time she walked away and never came back?

He couldn't lose her…

Snapping out of his daze, Lucas finally glanced over to the blonde next to him and his blood began to simmer within his veins. His green eyes, which she'd only ever seen filled with concern or passion, were now filled with something else; anger.

"She wasn't supposed to see that!" he roared in frustration.

Maya's eyes grew wide at his accusation before narrowing in like a scope locking in on a target.

"You're blaming me for this?!" She reared back in disbelief.

He was the one that had started all of this that night by the campfire.

"You're the one that drug me out here and threw yourself at me," he insisted as his arm gestured to the spot against the wall where they had been standing.

The blonde scoffed in disgust. "I didn't hear you complaining at the time!"

She refused to accept all the blame when there was plenty to go around.

The moment had played out in slow motion like a scene from a bad movie. Lucas had pulled back, looking guiltier than sin. She'd turned just in time to see her best friend standing there, disappointment darkening her features. Maya hated being the cause of that look. She knew that someday Riley would realize the difference between her fantasy of Lucas and person he actually was; the person that had chosen her. She would simply have to be patient and supportive until that day came. She could do that though. She would do anything for Riley.

As much as Lucas wanted to he couldn't argue with that. He was a willing participant in what had taken place today against that wall, just as he had been the day before, and the night before that at the bakery. He had made his choice. Maya was his choice.

It hadn't felt like a choice…then or now.

"Fine, maybe you're right. I went along with it, but take a little credit for your part in this short stack," he conceded.

The blonde glared at him menacingly as she stepped forward, once again invading his personal space.

"You know how much I hate when you call me that."

Lucas stared her down, his green eyes dark and intense, almost threatening.

"And I hate hurting Riley," he replied through gritted teeth.

She'd seen Lucas look like that before but never at her.

"Then why did you? You knew that choosing me was going to hurt her, but you did it anyway. YOU chose Lucas, so how about you climb down off your high horse and join the rest of us down here on the ground?" She shot back, blue flames dancing in her eyes.

Why had he chosen Maya? He'd had a reason, one that had made perfect sense to him at the time, but now he wasn't so sure. As he stood there kissing Maya, with Riley watching, he'd suddenly felt as if he was kissing the wrong girl.

But the blonde in front of him was the girl he had chosen.

She was his girlfriend and he needed to choke down these conflicting feelings and act like it.

As she stood there, mere centimeters from his face, his anger was warping into something else; something equally molten and dangerous.

He reached out and took hold of her, pulling her body into his, their mouths molding into a searing kiss, the fire they usually felt overwhelming their senses in a blaze until she yanked herself free of his grasp.

She stood before him, her lips swollen, her chest heaving; both of them wondering what had just happened.

Lucas reached for her again but she stepped back, shaking her head defiantly.

"No! You don't get to yell at me and then kiss me!"

She had done the same to him just the day before, but he didn't get the chance to say that. He didn't get the chance to say anything. He blinked at the next thing he knew he was watching her figure grow smaller as she stormed away.

"Where are you going?" he shouted, but she didn't answer. She didn't even look back.

Both girls had walked away from him and he didn't know if either one of them were coming back. He paced around in a small circle, hands on his hips, going over everything in his head trying to make sense of it. He couldn't though. He was not this person. He was not the kind of guy who went back and forth, unable to make up his mind. He wasn't the kind of person to play with the feelings of others or to get so caught up in the perception of something that he forgot what it truly was.

The harder he thought, the angrier he became. His frustration grew until he couldn't contain it anymore and it sought release in the form of his knuckles against the brick wall; yet another decision he would end up hating himself for later.

What was happening to him?

"How much of that did you see?" the blonde boy sighed, sensing his friend behind him.

"Enough," Zay said with a shrug. "Don't worry though I won't tell anyone."

Lucas turned, a look of pure skepticism on his face. He thought the world of Zay but it was common knowledge that he didn't know when to keep his mouth shut.

"I only tell the good stories, and man, this is NOT a good Lucas story."

'Thank God for small favors,' the green eyed boy thought to himself.

Zay lifted his hand to pat his buddy's shoulder.

"Come on, let's get your hand cleaned up and you can tell me all about the mess you've made." He said with a large grin, doing his best to lighten the mood.

Once they reached the Babineaux residence Lucas slung his stuff down by the door and made his way to the kitchen where he began washing his hands.

"So….hitting the wall make you feel any better?" he asked as he lifted himself onto the counter and clapped his hands.

The blonde haired boy just shrugged. It wasn't like he was proud of how he had handled everything. He knew he'd been wrong to shout at Maya and blame her for everything, especially when he was just as much at fault as she was. They both had done this, together.

"It's alright. It probably had it coming anyway," Zay replied.

Lucas finished washing his scraped up knuckles and reached for the dish towel his friend was holding out to him, his thoughts still running wild, his nostrils flaring. Zay had seen Lucas angry enough times to know that this wasn't over.

"What is everyone's problem anyway?! This is what they wanted, me and Maya together! It's why they voted us best couple! It's why Riley dumped me to begin with, why YOU told Gardner she was free! Everybody wanted us to be a thing and now that we are everyone's acting like it's the end of the world! You're supposed to be our friends! Why can't you just be happy for us?!" he suddenly exploded.

"Dude, I'm trying," Zay retaliated, placing his hands on his chest, "but you two are making it awfully hard. I can't be happy for you Lucas cause I'm too busy being worried about you. I don't think you know what you're doing. I don't think you even think you know what you're doing. All I heard from the minute you moved up here was Riley, Riley, Riley! Okay, sure you threw in the others once in a while, but it was like thirty percent blonde beauty and loyal genius, seventy percent pretty brunette, and now all of a sudden you're with Maya, except not really. You're only "with Maya" when no one else is around. The rest of the time you're openly pining over cotton candy face and losing your cool over every little thing. You punched an innocent wall today man! Do you even know why?!"

Lucas couldn't say with a hundred percent certainty which part of the equation had inspired him to such an act of stupidity, but he could guess. Either way he had a fifty/fifty shot at getting it right.

"Doesn't matter why, it happened and now it's over," he responded forcing a hearty chuckle from his friend.

"Luke, it ain't over. It ain't even close to over. THAT'S your problem." Zay said as he pointed and stifled another laugh at his friend's expense.

"I chose Maya!" Lucas said resolutely.

"Maybe so, but both girls still got you tangled up in knots. It ain't over. It's just getting started."

Lucas could deny it all he wanted, but no matter how many times he told himself that his choice was made the bitter truth was that Maya Hart was his girlfriend...and Riley Mathews was still, in his heart at least, his unofficial thing.

Maya strode away with purpose, huffing and puffing like the big bad wolf. How dare he blame this on her!

HE was the one that had chosen HER!

HE was the one that had grabbed HER!

HE was the one that had made HER fall for HIM!

None of this would have happened if HE had never come along. She and Riley had been the two best friends in the entire world almost their entire lives. In all that time, never once had she done anything to hurt or disappoint Riles. She had loved her, protected her, and gone along with anything she'd wanted, but she'd never hurt her.

And what about Lucas? Wasn't he supposed to be the guy that would never hurt anyone? As angry as Maya was at him, she was more hurt than anything else. She didn't care that he had yelled at her. It wasn't the first time he'd done it and it probably wouldn't be the last either. She didn't care that he'd gotten angry. In fact, she preferred him that way. There was something about the way his features hardened and his muscles bulged that made her knees all wobbly.

The only thing that had kept her from melting into him was her outrage. She didn't like that he could make her melt. She was supposed to break his cool exterior not the other way around.

The blonde took a deep breath as she eyed the tall building in front of her. She really should have done this sooner. The Mathews were the closest thing to a family that Maya had ever had. For the last seven years they had fed her, taught her, and comforted her. They had accepted her completely and loved her, despite all her flaws and mistakes. As far as they had always been concerned she was one of them, and she'd been so afraid of how they'd react to her relationship with Lucas that she had turned away from them.

Slowly she began making her way up the fire escape. It didn't feel right to go through the door. She needed at least one thing in their crazy lives to stay exactly the same, even if it was something as trivial as how she entered their apartment. Every other step a doubt or fear would pop into her head, trying to convince her to turn back, telling her this conversation could wait one more day. Every other step it was Riley and her words from earlier that morning that had urged Maya forward in spite of those concerns.

Finally she reached the window, but Riley wasn't there. She hadn't come home.

Maya climbed through the window, just as she had done a million times before and sat there, hugging her knees, wishing for her best friend to come back to their special place so they could work through this. It had to be here. This was their place. It was where they figured out their most important stuff. What could possibly be more important than the future of their friendship?

Topanga opened the door to her daughter's bedroom and found the blonde girl sitting there, small and fragile, like a child. Her first instinct was to run to Maya's side and comfort her. It's what Riley herself would do if she were here, but instead Topanga walked over silently and sat down next to her.

Sensing that she was no longer alone, Maya looked up to find Mrs. Mathews sitting next to her. It wasn't who she'd been wishing for but it was far better than sitting there alone.

"I know I should have come sooner, I'm sorry," she said through the tears running down her face. "I just didn't want you guys to hate me. You're my family and the idea of you not wanting me anymore…"she trailed off, gasping for breath.

She'd never given her father reason to leave but that hadn't stopped him. If he could wash his hands of her, the man who had helped create her and was supposed to love her, then what would stop them from being able to do the same?

Topanga wrapped her arms around the young girl, her heart truly broken in two. She loved both girls so dearly and hated to see either of them in pain. They were both hurting so much. They needed one another but didn't seem to know how to get back to each other, not when Lucas was standing between them. She didn't blame the boy. It wasn't really his fault this was happening. It wasn't anyone's fault. They had all made mistakes and they'd all been thrown by their feelings. All that could be done now, was to figure out where they went from here.

"Honey, Cory and I could never hate you. We hate that this is happening, but we don't hate you." She assured the blonde as she leaned into her sobbing.

Maya looked up at her with big blue eyes, shimmering like sapphires, "does that mean I can come home?"

That one sentence tore Topanga's heart from her chest, partially because Maya truly did consider this her home, and partially because she knew the answers wouldn't be what she'd been hoping to hear.

"I'm sorry sweetie, it's just not that simple. We love you and you are very much a part of this family, always…but Riley is our daughter. When she is ready for you to come back, we will gladly accept you into this home again, but it has to be what's best for both of you, what you both want."

Maya nodded sadly, "I don't think she's ready yet."

Topanga squeezed her shoulders, "I don't think she is either."

The blonde leaned against Topanga, knowing she wouldn't have this again for some time.

"I don't think she's gonna be ready for a while,"….if ever she thought silently.

Riley calmly turned and walked away. She wouldn't look back no matter how much she wanted to nor would she let the tears forming in her eyes fall while she was still on school grounds for the world to see. She closed her eyes, blocking out the world but she could still see the two of them against the school building. She shook her head trying to rid herself of the memory, but it wouldn't budge. In that brief moment it had been burned into her retinas, into her brain, into what was left of her broken heart.

She let out a shaky breath, her chin trembling as she fought the urge to cry. She had been so accepting of the entire situation throughout the day that she had even convinced herself. Maybe she was okay? Maybe everything didn't have to change? Maybe she didn't really love Lucas the way she thought that she did?

Riley wracked her brain trying to figure out where she could go. Home was definitely not an option. Her parents would take one look at her and want to have one of their "life throws you curveballs that are actually worthwhile lessons speech," and she really couldn't handle one of those right now. Besides, she'd told Maya this morning that the bay window was always open to her. If she could manage to pry herself from Lucas's lips she'd probably show up sooner or later wanting to talk. Riley really couldn't handle that either.

She just wanted to go somewhere where she could feel…invisible.

Up until three days ago she could have gone anywhere and accomplished that, but now everyone was watching her. She needed to find somewhere private, somewhere safe, somewhere she could feel good again. Naturally there was only one place left to go fitting that description.

She was sitting in the dog section of the pet store, playing with all the rejected adorable creatures that had yet to find their home when she heard him coming up from behind her.

"Are you here to adopt a dog or were you just looking for me?" she asked with a heavy sigh.

Farkle squatted down beside her and began petting one of the dogs in the kennel, begging for attention.

"You always come here when you need a pick me up, but I'd take every one of them home if I could," he said with a shrug.

The two sat in silence for a few moments, just enjoying the silence and petting the dogs. Riley's heart ached for each and every one of them. Some were older than others, some cuter than others, but they were each precious in their own way. They all deserved love and safe place to sleep at night.

"Farkle," she paused considering her words carefully, "why did you love me? I get why you love Isadora. She's beautiful and a genius like you. You're kind of perfect for each other. I get why you love Maya. She's beautiful and talented, she's cool and brave…but I'm just me. There's nothing great or special about me…so why would you ever consider me worthy of the same love and respect you give them?"

Why would anyone?

* * *

Maya and Zay sat on the grass, just letting the minutes tick by. She wasn't sure what had possessed him to come outside during his lunch hour, he was Lucas's best friend, after all. It didn't make any sense that he would come out here looking for her. No one cared when Maya wasn't around as long as there was still someone to play the role of Riley: sunshine princess. Maya wasn't sunshiny, she was more like a thunderstorm.

The blonde finally raised her head and looked up at her unexpected company.

"You know, I think this is the longest I've ever heard you not say anything," she observed.

He nodded to the side she hadn't been laying on, "is that your subtle way of saying I talk too much?" He asked, only half teasing.

She rolled her eyes and laughed in response. She hadn't meant it as a good or bad thing. It was just a fact.

"Do I look like someone that knows how to be subtle? I don't even know the meaning of that word. Why do you think I hang out with brainiacs like Farkle and Riley? It's not so their goodness will rub off on me, it's so I can copy their homework."

They both knew that wasn't true. She loved those two little weirdos far more than she ever meant to care for anyone.

He grinned knowingly, "You're plenty good on your own Miss Hart."

Her blue eyes searched his brown orbs searching for some trace of humor or mischief, but there was none to find. He actually believed what he had just said.

She swatted the air with her hand in jest, "you didn't know me before this year," she felt the need to remind him.

He just shook his head at the girl next to him. It was almost like she was determined to see only the worst in herself. Didn't she want to know that she deserved good things too? Didn't she need the same things that everyone else needed; hope that things could get better, the knowledge that she'd be loved even if they didn't?

"Nah, but I've heard things." He said with a shrug.

Maya cringed at the mere thought of what people might say about her. What would they tell him about? The time she had started a riot and set off the sprinklers just to avoid homework, how she fell asleep in class because she was bored and lazy, how she had literally everyone in her class intimidated by her? She was the perfect person to follow if you wanted to get into trouble but that seemed to be all she was good for in the eyes of her peers. The only reason Riley kept her around was because she needed a bad influence and the only reason Farkle kept her around is because he had promised to openly choose Riley...a promise he'd already broken.

"Riley told me about the time when she was nine and you were going out of town with your mom."

Maya chuckled at the memory. Riley had been getting picked on at school for wearing that silly purple tutu over everything she owned and Erica Jeeves, who was basically the childhood equivalent of Missy Bradshaw, had been relentlessly torturing her over it. Maya had spent every single day in the principal's office after calling her names and pouring chocolate milk all over her dress. Before Maya had left she had folded Riley's fingers into a fist and told her if Erica bothered her again she expected her to ball her hand up just like that and punch that sour puss in the nose.

"Riles busted her nose and then cried the whole way home. It was my fault though. I'm the one that taught her how to make a fist and threatened never to speak to her again if she didn't stand up for herself."

"That was good for her. She learned a little self-respect and how to throw a decent hook," he said with a grin. "Every girl needs to know that."

Why was he being so nice to her? Didn't he understand that she was supposedly the bad guy in this scenario? At least that's what everyone else seemed to believe. She was the bad friend that had somehow gotten in the way of their happiness. Riley was the best there was and she was her polar opposite. What did that make her, the worst of them all?

"You wanna get out of here?" she said as she cocked her head to the side.

She had shown up like her mother insisted, but she'd already taken finals in her last class. What would they do if she missed the last day or two, fail her?

Zay contemplated his options briefly. He really should go to class, but he'd promised to be on her side, and if what she needed right now was to play hooky with a friend then what was the harm in complying?

Riley sat at the lunch table poking at her mashed potatoes with her plastic fork. Occasionally she would glance up to look at the clock or the door, but she couldn't bring herself to look at her boyfriend. Yesterday had been different, simple. They had sat there next to one another talking and laughing, being Lucas and Riley. Today she couldn't bring herself to be Lucas and Riley, not with Maya capable of walking in at any moment and seeing them together.

Lucas sat there watching his girlfriend, wishing she would look at him. He wanted to see those beautiful brown eyes and that smile he loved so much. He wanted to hold her hand and just be together. He'd earned that by now, hadn't he?

The lunch bell rang and there was still no sign of Maya. Riley dumped her tray and left it in the pile.

"I've got to stop at my locker for a minute. I'll catch up with you guys," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

This was everything that she had been afraid of when Maya had asked him to make a choice. As much as she had hated the tension and constant insecurity, she couldn't see how their current situation was any better. Sure, she had Lucas, and he was wonderful…but she couldn't enjoy having him. Every time she started to another pang of guilt would hit her. How could she be happy when Maya wasn't happy? How could she take one of the few things away from Maya that gave her hope? She thought back to the day in the bay window when Maya had said that Lucas would never ever go out with her. Riley's first instinct had been to ask if she shouldn't go out with him then. How could she be with Lucas knowing that it was hurting Maya?

Lucas had followed her into the hallway, hoping to finally have a moment to themselves. He walked up behind her, smelling the cranberry scent of her hair. He reached out and brushed her hair back from her face, even without seeing her face he could sense both her smile and her sadness.

"She didn't come back after lunch, did she?" Riley knew the answer before she even asked the question.

"No, she didn't. Neither did Zay." He sighed as he wrapped his arms around her from behind.

Her hands lifted to join his as she relaxed into his embrace, another wave of guilt washing over her; this time not because Maya didn't come back, but the fact that Riley was relieved that she hadn't. She hated herself for thinking it or feeling it, but lately life was easier whenever Maya wasn't around.

"At least we know she's not alone," she rationalized.

He tightened his arms around her, entwining their fingers.

"Neither are you. You have me, Riley. I know it's not the same as having Maya, but I'm here and I wish that you'd lean on me when you're hurting like this."

She turned to him with a sigh, how could she possibly make him understand?

"We should get to class. The bell is going to ring any minute," she stated just as the bell actually rang.

They walked into their last class of the day hand in hand, but Riley's thoughts were still a million miles away.

"This was your brilliant idea? Have you lost your mind? We can't go in there during school hours. They have cops in there!" Zay exclaimed as he stood on the steps of the Metropolitan Museum of Art.

Maya's blue eyes twinkled with mischief.

"Those aren't cops, they're security guards, rent-a-cops. Besides there's a whole bunch of people in there and kids on field trips. We'll blend right in and if worst comes to worst we'll just get lost in the crowd. It'll be a piece of cake."

"I'm not much of a cake man. I'm more of a pie fella, myself."

She rolled her eyes in exasperation.

"Fine, it'll be a piece of pie. Now you coming or what?"

When Maya had asked to ditch school he thought that they'd hang out at the mall or hide in an ice cream parlor, maybe even play in the park. The last thing he'd expected was for her to drag him to the biggest, most popular art museum she could find in the area. For someone that had come up with this idea on a whim, she sure seemed to have an answer for every objection he'd made.

She could see that he was on the fence and still in need of persuasion. What could she use to lure him inside that she hadn't already thought of? Her mind began combing through the exhibits, seeking some form of leverage. This place had everything from prints and paintings to furniture and ancient artifacts. Surely, there was something in there that might catch his interest.

"Alright, let's do it, but next time I get to pick where we're going. And if we get caught? I'm throwing a punch and blaming you," he said with a wink as he raced her up the steps.

They combed through the many exhibits one by one, careful not to attract any unwanted attention to themselves. His parents would murder him if they knew that he was doing this. Zay managed to get into some of the photography exhibits and one with a bunch of ancient items that looked straight of out an Indiana Jones film, but Maya was transported to another world in this place.

She didn't say much until they had reached the Alex Katz portion of the collection. Personally he didn't see what all the fuss was about. They were just some cartoonish looking paintings of ordinary people and one of some building with a tree outside. To him they were nothing special, but Maya was studying them with an odd combination of curiosity and reverence.

Maya paused at a picture of a woman; light skin, dark hair, red lips and a matching red trench coat. She wasn't sure why but Riley instantly sprang to mind. The blonde just stood there, watching the painting's eyes, as if she were waiting for it to give her the secret to mending the friendship that had become so broken without either of them realizing it.

Zay came up behind her, taking in the sight of the woman in red. It wasn't hard to guess exactly what the girl in front of him was thinking.

"I don't know about you, but that girl reminds me of someone," he commented innocently.

Maya sighed, "Yeah, I know. Me too."

Zay pretended to be unaware who they were both thinking of before slapping his leg enthusiastically and pointing to the woman in the painting.

"I've got it! I know who she reminds me of! Carmen San Diego!"

The blonde whirled around, her eyes wide.

"Oh come on, you never watched that show growing up? You know, where in the world is Carmen San Diego?" he said as sung the theme song.

Maya couldn't stifle her laughter no matter how hard she tried so instead she covered her mouth with her hand until her fit of giggles had ceased.

School was finally out for the day, and still there was no sign of Maya or Zay. Lucas wasn't even sure how he felt about the blonde or her absence at this point. If someone would have told him that he would end up missing her goofy nicknames and that annoying ha-hurr thing he probably would have told them that they were absolutely crazy, but somehow he did. It wasn't that he missed those things themselves, he missed what they represented; her place in his life, her place in their group of friends, the way things had once been. He wanted to be her friend, he was trying to be, but she was the one that had decided if he wasn't willing to date her that he had no place. Was he supposed to fight for their friendship or respect her wishes? What was the right thing?

Even though he missed her and still cared about her, part of him was glad that she hadn't come back this afternoon. Her being gone meant that he would be able to be with Riley without her pulling away from him. Today was the day that he got to walk her home for the first time since they had become a couple and he was grateful that moment wouldn't be tainted with Riley's guilt or her obligation to Maya. Today he would get to be her number one. They would be her priority, just as they were his. Today he would get back as much as he had been giving.

Riley said goodbye to her friends and stopped at her locker one last time to change out her books. One more week and school would be over. One more miserable week and they could stop looking over their shoulders, worrying about what was being seen or said.

"You ready to get out of here, princess?" he asked with a smile.

She nodded as she slipped her hand inside his, returning his smile with one of her own.

"Absolutely," she replied as they exited the school building, once again linked together.

Riley absentmindedly swung their hands back and forth as they walked down the sidewalk. She was already dreading tomorrow and it wasn't even here yet. She was already dreading going home and she wasn't even there yet.

"Do you have to be home right now?" she implored curiously.

Lucas shook his head, "nope, I'm yours for the afternoon if you want me."

"I want you," she said with a bright smile as she began dragging him in the opposite direction of her house.

He had no idea where they were going, but as long as they were together and she was smiling he honestly couldn't have cared less. He'd follow her to the ends of the earth if she asked him his surprise she led him to a pet store, though he wasn't sure why. Neither of the, had any pets to speak of.

"Riles, what are we doing here?" he asked as she silently led him through the store.

"You'll see," she replied, tossing another smile over her shoulder.

She led him to a kennel in the back of the store filled with several different breeds of dog. The brunette bent down to greet her canine friends and began affectionately petting them.

"Hi guys," she said excitedly. "Did you miss me? I missed you guys."

Lucas just stood back watching her play with the animals, once again marveling at how caring and kind, and absolutely adorable she was.

"You know these guys?" He asked as he bent down next to her.

"Some of them are new, but I know quite a few. This is where they keep the dogs that don't have a family yet. I come and keep them company sometimes, just until they find a home. I'd bring them all home with me if I could, but dad would probably fake a heart attack if I tried."

He tilted his head up so the golden retriever pup, who was undoubtedly new and full of energy, could lick his neck. He loved dogs, but the only one he wanted kissing him on the mouth was the beautiful brunette next to him.

They sat and played for a while as she introduced him to the dogs that she had seen there before and named the few new ones that were new to the kennel until finally they caught a glimpse at the clock.

"You should probably walk me home now," she said with a sad smile. She hadn't told Lucas that this was where she came whenever she was upset about something and in need of cheering up or that she had been coming here more frequently for months. There had been a time when she could have told him anything, but now for some reason she was struggling with opening up to him.

The walk to the Mathews apartment was completely silent. Once they reached her building she walked right past the front entrance and found the fire escape instead.

"You wanna come up," she invited him though she wasn't sure if she actually wanted him there with her of that she just didn't want to be in there alone.

He followed her up the fire escape and through the window. She sat down in the window seat and he sat next to her, hoping for her to say something, anything that didn't start with Maya's name. It seemed as if every conversation they'd had since officially becoming a couple was about her. Even when she was gone she was still somehow between them.

Riley suddenly turned to him, eyes wide filled with fear.

"Do you think we'll be okay without her?" She hadn't meant to ask the question it had just come flying out of her mouth.

"What are you talking about?"

Of course it was about Maya, it was always about Maya...but it was also about them. She didn't seem to think that they could work unless Maya was part of the equation.

"What if you made the wrong choice Lucas? She pushed me into talking to you. She pushed you into asking me out. We're only together because she pushed you to make a choice-"

Lucas couldn't believe what he was hearing. He had been interested in her before Maya had pushed her into his lap. He'd asked her out because he wanted to be her first date. He'd chosen her because he had always wanted to be with her. How could she still think that he didn't really want her?

A greater fear began sinking in, was that the only reason that she had wanted to be with him? And if so, would she stop now that Maya wasn't there to push her?

"That's why you think we're together?!" He fired back a little louder than he meant to.

Please let her say no! Please let her say that she wanted him all this time and she's just scared of feeling guilty. Let her say anything but that Maya was the only reason they had finally found their way together.

"Isn't it," she challenged. "If you hadn't found out about Maya liking you-"

"I only knew that because YOU told me," he reminded her.

"If Farkle hadn't blurted out everything on New Year's-"

"But he did Riley," why was she doing this?

"You didn't fight for me Lucas. You were perfectly content experimenting with your feelings for Maya until Farkle opened his big mouth."

He scratched the back of his neck doing his best to reel in his temper. Was this why she had invited him up here? To attack him? To break up with him?

She was the one that had set all this in motion, not him.

"You didn't fight for me either! I gave you up because it's what you said you wanted. You gave me up because you thought someone else deserved me more. How is that fair?!" He shouted with his hands on his hips before running a hand through his hair in frustration. The look in her eyes was enough to calm the storm within him.

"I tried Riley...I tried to tell you that I didn't want to be your brother. I tried telling you that I didn't want to be with Maya, that I didn't want you to be with Charlie, but you didn't want to hear it. I always knew what I wanted, who I wanted...did you? Do you? Because I love you Riles, but I don't to get a taste of having you just so you can give up on me again," he said as he took her hands in his.

"Do you really want this?"

Riley's brown eyes were shimmering with unshed tears. All her anger and fear had melted with four simple words.

"You love me?" She asked, a small smile playing on her lips.

He chuckled at the innocence and confusion.

"Did you really not know that?"

She really hadn't. She still couldn't believe it even after hearing the words.

"You always wanted me? Even at the campfire? Even on your dates with Maya and when she was being nice to you on New Year's? You wanted me?"

He cupped her cheek with his hand, smiling now that they were past their words of fear and doubt.

"Always."

She smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck and laid a gentle kiss on his lips.

"I love you too, Lucas. I think maybe I always did."

Suddenly she broke away and ran over to her shoe basket, returning with one of his boots in her hand.

"What did I do to deserve this?" He teased.

"You loved me back."


	9. 8- People Change People

**A/N: As always, thank you for your love and support! It's truly humbling. Love you all! I promise it won't always be this brutal, first cuts are always the deepest.**

Riley had been slowly retreating into herself ever since that first day back at school. Her illusions of keeping the circle exactly the same had been rectified in one crushing blow. She had known from the moment Lucas had made his choice that the nature of their relationship would have to change, but until that day she hadn't realized that she and Maya couldn't go on as they always had either. Everything had changed…everything but her and the way she felt about her best friend and her best friend's new boyfriend. That, unfortunately, was still exactly the same.

She couldn't bear to look at either one of them without that horrible moment by the tree replaying in her mind, so she simply chose not to. She tried not to think about the way Lucas had his arms wrapped around Maya or the way Maya's fingers had been tangled in his hair. She'd tried to forget the look on his face when he had realized she was standing there or how it had felt to lock him out of her soul when she'd felt his green eyes begging for entrance through her own. Most of all she tried to stop thinking about what did or didn't happen after she had walked away, had her heart breaking into a million little pieces phased them at all or had they simply resumed their position once she had gone.

Farkle sat back cautiously watching his friends. As a man of science he had done his best to form his hypothesis based solely on his observations. For the first time in his life Farkle was praying that he had somehow miscalculated, that his bias had gotten the better of him, and that there was some unknown variable that would change the course he predicted they were currently on. Unfortunately, Farkle was a genius, which meant he was hardly ever wrong.

He'd been angry whenever Lucas; someone he had trusted, first with Riley, and then with Maya, had selfishly made his choice, driving a wedge between the two girls. That wasn't the person that Lucas had presented himself to be and Farkle felt betrayed, but more than his own feelings of betrayal was his growing concern for both his lovely ladies. Over the last few days watching both of his girls drift further from one another, away from their group, away from themselves, that anger had festered and boiled into something else; something completely foreign to Farkle: rage.

It was the last day of school before graduation. Lucas and Maya were in the otherwise empty classroom, when Farkle came marching in and without so much as a word, lifted his fist punching Lucas squarely in his pretty boy freak face.

Maya, who had been busy pretending not to be Lucas's girlfriend up until that point, jumped up prepared to rush over, but Farkle wasn't done. He reared back and hit Lucas again.

"What the hell, Farkle?!" she shouted in shock.

A few weeks ago Lucas probably just would have let Farkle have his punches and let it go, but Lucas had been in much less forgiving mood lately. Zay had been right when he'd said the least little thing set Lucas off these days. It was as if he was living on the edge, just waiting, hoping, for something or someone to push him. Instincts the blonde haired boy had thought were slowly dying inside him stirred to life. In one fluid motion he had Farkle up against the wall, fury burning in his eyes.

"Lucas!" Maya called out, but he wasn't listening.

Before she had always appreciated Texas Lucas, but seeing him turn on Farkle, wasn't nearly so hot as it was disturbing.

"Go ahead," Farkle spat, "do it. Go ahead and show Maya and everyone else that you're nothing more than flexing muscles and a temper. Show us how wrong we've all been about you!"

Was Farkle crazy, provoking him like this? Hadn't he seen how easily Lucas had come through that window after Maya had barricaded it with everything in Riley's closet? Had he not seen Topanga's counter after Lucas had broken free?

Farkle might not be afraid but Maya was scared for him.

"Lucas, Lucas stop!" she said again as she tried to force his arm from Farkle's chest, not that it did her any good. He was ten times stronger than she was. Unable to stop him, Maya did the only thing she could possibly think of. She called for help.

Lucas and Farkle stared one another down menacingly.

"Do you know what she said to me?" Farkle finally said, still not backing down. "She asked how I could possibly love her when no one else could," his icy blue gaze traveling from Lucas to Maya and back again.

To Farkle's surprise and Maya's amazement Lucas's grip relaxed.

"She said that?" he asked disbelievingly.

He had known that they had hurt her, he'd seen it briefly in her eyes that day in her bedroom, before she'd glossed it over with a happy smile.

"Riles is just having a hard time adjusting Farkle. She always does this. Remember when she decided to be a day or the time she dyed her hair rainbow colors? She'll snap out of it. She always does," Maya replied, but Farkle wasn't convinced.

"Do you not know her AT ALL Maya? Have you not watched how calmly she reacts when her world implodes because I have? When she found out Lucas had been expelled and she didn't react do you remember what you said? You didn't like calm Riley. Calm Riley scared you. The same Riley that didn't even bat an eyelash when her best friend declared feelings for her unofficial boyfriend, the same girl who stood frozen like a statue when her secret was revealed to the world. When you ripped her heart out and made it official how did she take it? She scream and cry and throw herself onto the nearest object or did she smile politely and thank you for it!"

Maya was Riley's best friend, of course she knew her…didn't she? Okay, she hadn't known that Riley didn't view Lucas as a brother or that she had no interest in Charlie Gardner, but she knew everything else there was to know, right?

Lucas stood there, looking down at his knuckles which were still bruised from hitting the wall, and then back to Farkle. He had actually been ready to fight Farkle. The loyal genius, his best friend; and he had been ready to beat him until he begged for mercy.

No…no…no…this couldn't be happening. Why was this happening? He'd spent the better part of two years completely in control, at least almost completely in control, of his temper, and in one week he'd managed to undo every ounce of progress he had made. He looked down at his hands again, as if he'd never seen them before, as if they had a life and mind of their own. Farkle was his friend. How could he do that to his friend?

How could he make Riley believe that she didn't deserve to be loved by anyone? That hadn't been him, had it? How could he possibly have that kind of influence on her when he'd meant so little that she could give him up so easily?

"Don't you guys get it?" Farkle asked, without his rage he was nothing more than disappointed and ashamed.

"She's not pretending to be someone else this time. This is who she is now."

No, Maya refused to believe that. Riley was the most hopeful, joyful, person on the planet. Nothing could change that. Even without Lucas, she still had everything else.

"That's not possible," Maya stated calmly, though her insides were suddenly trembling with fear that it might be.

Riley had been working up the nerve to find her friends for the last half hour. Tomorrow was graduation and then they wouldn't be seeing one another for a while. She had spent a lot of sleepless nights working out the mystery in her head, and now that she finally had an answer she needed to address their problem. They owed one another that much.

She found Lucas, Maya, and Farkle alone in her father's empty classroom. She wished that Zay could be here too, but he had opted to start his summer vacation early, but not before exchanging numbers with Riley, giving her a hug, and letting her know he was there if she needed him. He really had become a great friend and comfort over the last year.

The air in the room felt thick and suffocating the moment she entered, but she had to do this. For the first time in days she looked up at Maya and Lucas, who strangely were now avoiding her gaze, before glancing over at Farkle and nodding with a small smile to assure him that she was okay.

"I uh, don't want to take up too much of your time. I just have something I need to say." She announced as she brushed her hair back behind her ear. She always did that when she was nervous.

"I've um, I've spent the last week or so, trying to figure out how we got here, you know? Everything seemed to be going one way and then, all of a sudden, it just…wasn't anymore…and I've been working really hard to make sense of that. It took me a while…probably longer than it should have, but I think…I think I finally know what happened…what went wrong."

Maya had shrunk under Riley's gaze the minute their eyes had met; Farkle's words replaying over in her head. She wanted to say that they were the two best friends that had ever existed, or that no two people had ever been closer, but that wasn't true anymore. She wanted to say that Farkle was wrong and Riley would be back to herself within the week, but as she sat there replaying each of those moments in her mind, a pattern was emerging…a pattern of eery calm in the face of a storm. What if Farkle was right?

"It's me," Riley stated sadly. She'd been trying to figure out how it all could have gone so sideways and the answer had been staring her back in the mirror every morning.

"I'm what's wrong."

Lucas's heart dropped to his stomach at her words. Everything Farkle had said was true.

"I made the mistake of hoping for too much, expecting too much."

She turned to face Lucas first, demanding his eyes meet hers. She needed him to see her.

"Deep down I knew that someone like you would never end up with a goofy super klutz like me…but I wanted to believe in the impossible. I let myself get swept up in the fantasy of my parents, but you and I…we're not them. I should have seen it sooner. Every moment you and I ever shared, it was never really just the two of us," her gaze shifted to Maya and back again, "she was always there too. When you smiled at me on the subway…when you sat down at our lunch table….when you looked at me coming down the stairs of the platform on our first date…Maya was always there, right next to me…and now I realize every look that you were giving me, every smile…it was actually for her."

That wasn't true. It had all been for her. It had always been her, but how could he tell her that now? It would be wrong to say the words now that they had no meaning. He had made his choice, and it wouldn't be fair to torture Riley with the truth of what she meant to him now.

He had to find a way to let her go…

Riley turned to face Maya, who was staring down at the floor in a very unMayalike fashion.

"Peaches…I made mistakes with you too. I should have been honest with you about my feelings. I should have stepped back sooner…but I think my biggest mistake…was thinking that we were going to be the next Cory and Shawn, thinking that we were somehow already better than them. They have a friendship that has lasted an entire lifetime…just because they did doesn't mean ours will, and it wasn't fair of me to expect you to live up to that. You're growing and changing and I need to let you do that…even if it takes you away from me."

It was all true, every horrible accusation Farkle had thrown at her before Riley had come in with her announcement was true. She didn't know Riley anymore. This wasn't the girl that sat in her bay window at six years old trusting the universe to bring her a friend. This wasn't the girl that believed in planets that weren't even technically planets. This was someone else, someone that sounded like they were saying goodbye.

"I know that you think I'm angry, but I'm not. I'm not angry or sad anymore. I'm just being….realistic," she chuckled a little as if that were somehow a joke, "and I know that isn't a word that you guys associate with me."

"That's not funny," Maya muttered.

This couldn't be happening. Riley wasn't the realistic one. She was the hopeful one. She was the believer of all things sunshine and rainbows. The mayor of Rileytown couldn't be realistic. Rileytown was a place for dreamers not cynics.

The brunette nodded, "You're right, it isn't. I just wanted to uh apologize for getting in the way. I really didn't know I was, and to wish you a happy summer before I leave."

"You're leaving," Lucas hadn't meant to say anything but his heart had spoken before his brain could catch up.

The idea of New York City without Riley Mathews…of not seeing her for three months…

"I'm going away for the summer. Josh is taking me back to Philadelphia with him. What we do for the next four years is going to determine who we become for the rest of our lives. The rest of you already have an idea of who you are, what you have to offer…I need to figure out those things for myself. I need to figure out who I'm going to be…without you…because as much as I hate saying it…you might not always be there."

She gave everyone one last once-over, committing each of them to memory, before walking out the door.

"Do you understand now?" Farkle asked sadly.

Lucas stood there resembling a statue in Central Park. He couldn't move. He could barely breathe. His worst fear had just been realized...

Riley had disappeared from his life and this time she wasn't coming back.

Yes, she was coming back to New York and to school, but she wouldn't be coming back as the perfect ray of sunshine he had come to know and adore, that Riley...HIS Riley was gone forever.

Maya was equally shell shocked by what had just taken place. She would never have believed it if she hadn't seen and heard it herself. Even now, she still couldn't wrap her brain around the words that had just come out of her best friend's mouth. Riley was letting go; of Lucas, of her, of everything that made her who she was.

What was it Farkle had said that day?

'There's more than one way to lose someone.'

The blonde finally gathered enough courage to face the boy she had been disparaging just moments before. She'd been so certain that Riley would snap out of it, but now...

"How...how could this happen?" She pleaded with him, needing an answer that wasn't her or Lucas or what she had seen outside earlier that week.

"People change people," he stated matter-of-factly.

"The secret of life," Lucas whispered so low almost no one could hear it.

"She was the best one of all of us. She forced me out of the closet when I felt like nothing. She brought you back from the brink of Mayaville. She believed you could conquer your fears and stay on Tombstone when no one else did...and you changed who she is." He replied sullenly before hanging his head and leaving them alone together.

This was exactly what Maya and Farkle had always worked so hard to avoid, someone dimming that precious light inside her.

And now it was gone, extinguished forever...and she'd been the one to douse that flame.

Maya turned to look at Lucas, who looked just as miserable as she felt. This wasn't what either of them had wanted. She knew that much.

Her blue eyes met his meadow green and for the first time in months she saw him, really saw him, and he saw her.

'What have we done' she asked herself, but couldn't bear to say the words aloud for fear of the answer.

* * *

Hope; it was such a dangerous word. Maya had spent the majority of her life without it specifically for that one reason. Hope was the difference between accepting that some people just weren't meant to have everything and being blind-sighted when you turned out to be one of them. It was the difference between a disappointed sigh and another sleepless night of tears. As long as she didn't hope for anything good or wonderful then she didn't have to get disappointed when good and wonderful things happened to everyone around her instead.

In the last year Maya had allowed herself to hope more than she ever had before and dream for things that seemed far beyond her grasp. She had wished for many things in the course of the year: She'd wished for a father that actually cared about her, a family that loved one another, someone to like that had been capable of returning her feelings…she'd wished for a lot of things but never had she allowed herself to dream bigger than the envelope in her hand.

When Miss Kossal had first told her about the summer art program at NYU her first instinct had been a knee jerk "no." Opportunities like this didn't happen to poor little rebels without a cause. They happened to other people, better people, people that were allowed to be happy. She wasn't sure why the universe had decided she wasn't one of the chosen few but for whatever reason it clearly had its favorites and she wasn't among them.

However, as the year went on and the deadline for the application drew near, she had started to believe that maybe she had been wrong before. Maybe it was actually possible? Stranger things had already happened that year. She and her friends had managed to save the arts program from being cut at school. Shawn had asked her mother out on a date, even after talking with his high school girlfriend from the time capsule. The most unbelievable of all had been when Josh told her that he could see she was growing up and wasn't just a little kid anymore. She had been prepared for the inevitable disappointment each time, but to her surprise it had never come.

For a moment anything had seemed possible, even something as spectacular as spending an entire summer learning from successful artists who were known throughout the world for their artwork. It would be her first real attempt toward following in their footsteps; her first real dream.

She had thought the universe was finally on her side, but it had all proven to be a lie. The universe hadn't given her Shawn, Riley had. Just like she had given her Lucas, at least for a time. All her supposed signs of happiness were nothing more than gifts from her well-intentioned best friend. Every good thing that had ever happened to her had begun and ended with Riley Mathews.

But Riley couldn't give her this. Riley didn't even know about this.

Maya sat there playing with the envelope in her hands. It had arrived a few weeks ago, right before Lucas had showed up with his notecards in hand. She had been carrying it around in case a sudden burst of courage ever overtook her, but of course it hadn't. She couldn't put it off forever though. If she had any chance of attending this program she would have to secure her spot by the first week of summer…but what were the chances she had really gotten in?

Maybe she shouldn't open it. Maybe it was better not to know. If she didn't open it then it could remain a beautiful dream of possibility rather than yet another heartbreaking reality that she would hate herself for ever attempting.

"Baby girl," Katie's voice broke through her thoughts, "there's someone here who wants to see you," she said timidly, unsure of how her daughter would react to the visitor in the living room.

Maya's face scrunched in confusion, who would be here to see her?

There was a familiar man with dark curly hair and a soft sad smile standing next to her mother in the doorway.

"Mathews?" she asked, "what are you doing here?"

Cory stepped forward, with an encouraging nod from Katie, entering the young girl's bedroom and sitting on her swivel stool.

"I came to see you," he replied simply.

Her brows raised slightly, her expression still befuddled.

"Why?"

He was Riley's father, shouldn't he be on her side?

Cory's face fell at her question. She had been a member of their family almost her entire life, yet it seemed she didn't understand what that meant. His investment and attachment to her went far beyond that of his daughter's friend. Her pain was their pain, and right now all he wanted to do was find a way to make it hurt less.

"Because I care about you, Maya. We all do."

The Mathews had been her family for as long as she could remember. She'd like to believe that they cared about her as much as she did them, but how could she believe that when no one she had ever loved had truly loved her back? Her father had made his share of excuses during his extremely brief encounter that year; he'd let her know that it was nothing she had done, but it didn't change the fact that he still hadn't cared enough to be here. He'd claimed to have all this regret, but never a single letter or phone call, not even a birthday card had been sent before she had written that stupid letter.

She understood now that her mother had loved her all along, but there had always been distance between them, and not just the necessary kind that came from having only one parent. Katie had kept her at arm's length. Even when she was present she still hadn't been available. Come to think of it, that was just one more thing she had to credit the Mathews, and more specifically Riley, for. The only reason she knew the truth was because Shawn had told her and the only reason her mom was able to be around more was because Topanga had hired her at the bakery.

To Josh she was too young and to Lucas she wasn't Riley.

"Riley sent you, didn't she?"

Why else would he be here?

Cory shook his head as he glanced down at the envelope in Maya's hands.

"No, but I know she misses you."

Now it was Maya's turn to look down toward her lap. She missed Riley too, more than she knew how to put into words. Life without her wasn't nearly as interesting.

"What's that?" Cory asked though he already knew.

Miss Kossal had assumed he'd known about the application earlier that week.

"My question to the universe," she replied with a heavy sigh.

If the universe gave her this one thing it meant that she wasn't wrong to hope.

If it didn't….

Cory nodded in understanding.

"Sounds important. Why haven't you opened it?"

He knew why even before she did.

She was afraid, not that she would admit it right now. This wasn't simply about the art program. To her, this envelope was her entire life, whether or not she was destined to be happy or miserable would be determined by its contents.

When she didn't respond he nodded again, staring at her in that sympathetic way that she didn't understand.

"Looks like you've still got some things to figure out. I'll let you get back to it," he paused in the doorway.

"Maya, you're always welcome in our home. I hope you know that."

She gave him half a smile in response as he exited, leaving her to ponder her existential crisis.

Maya turned to the envelope in her hands again, turning it this way and that. Whatever was waiting for her inside it could potentially change her life forever. She couldn't open it here, in her bedroom where she used to listen to her parents screaming at one another. There was only one place in the world where she felt safe enough and brave enough to open it…

The place she figured out her most important stuff…

She smirked as she flipped the envelope over once more.

'Smooth move Mathews,' he'd known this envelope would call her back to the bay window.

Riley stood by the window pacing nervously. She'd been overjoyed when she'd first received Maya's text asking her to meet in their sacred place, but since then she'd had time to think and the more she thought about it the less this felt like good news. Her mind was racing with every worst case scenario it could find. What if she was calling her here to end their friendship in the place it all began? What if she was disbanding Honey and Peaches forever?

The brunette bristled when she heard a sound from the window. She held her breath, praying for a sign that everything was going to be okay. To her surprise it was her boyfriend climbing through the window.

"Hey," he said with a smile as he entered her room.

"Hi," she sighed, finally able to breathe again.

If Lucas was here then everything would be okay….wait, why was he here?

"Not that I'm not happy to see you, I'm always happy to see you, but…what are you doing here?"

He pulled out his phone to show his girlfriend the text message Maya had sent him. Riley silently read the message, officially more confused than before.

"She asked you to come?" Why would Maya do that?

He shrugged at her question, unsure how else to respond.

"I'm just as surprised as you are." He said, before really taking in the sight of the beautiful brunette in front of him, who was now on the verge of tears and she wasn't even sure why.

"Hey, whatever happens, it's going to be okay," he said as she pulled her into his arms.

"Ugh! If you guys could save all that," the blonde girl said gesturing to their romantic display with her hand, "until we're done here, that would be great."

Riley immediately stepped back from Lucas and turned to face what she hoped was still her best friend.

"Sorry, peaches." She mumbled, wishing Maya hadn't seen them together like this.

Lucas stood there awkwardly, uncertain what he should do. Neither girl were even acknowledging his existence at the moment. Maya was too angry to look at him and Riley was too engulfed in Maya's presence to notice.

Farkle's head was the next to pop through the window, and mere seconds later Zay came through Riley's door with a bowl of dry cereal in hand, because they were once again out of milk.

"Okay, now that everyone is here we can get this over with," Maya announced, causing Riley to flinch.

The blonde took a deep steadying breath before continuing.

"First of all I guess I should thank you for coming. I know things aren't exactly great between us lately, but before all this we were really good friends and this is bigger than whatever our problems are," she said as she lifted the unopened envelope for them to see.

"What is that?" Lucas asked curiously.

"Looks like an envelope to me," Zay said stating the obvious.

Lucas just shook his head.

"I know that, but what's in it?" he clarified.

Zay shrugged, "Probably a letter of some kind," he deduced.

"Hey Bert and Ernie, if you'll stop talking I'll explain," Maya snapped, getting the attention of everyone in the room. Whatever was in that envelope clearly had her on edge.

"Okay, so uh, there's this art program at NYU this summer. It's not a big deal…actually it is. It's a really big deal. You have to send in an application and a folder including your different types of work….only a couple kids get in….anyway I applied months ago and this is the letter; the letter that tells me whether or not I got in, whether I'm an artist or just someone who likes to draw. I haven't been able to open it. I'm still mad and hurt….but this is bigger than that. The next step to who I'm going to be for the rest of my life is in this tiny little package….and I couldn't do it without you," she was addressing the group as a whole but her piercing blue gaze never left Riley, who patted the empty seat next to her.

Maya slowly eased into the seat as Riley took her hand, "Whatever happens, we face it together."

The blonde nodded in agreement, her hands trembling as she finally unsealed the package and pulled the letter from the envelope. This was it, the moment of truth, the answer from the universe; who she was destined to be.

She sat silently, reading and rereading the lines of the letter, trying to gauge her own reaction.

"Peaches?" Riley implored cautiously, reminding Maya that there were others in the room also waiting for a reaction of some kind.

"I got in," she mumbled disbelievingly as she turned to face the brunette beside her, "I got in,"

She repeated the words again, still attempting to make them real.

She'd gotten in. She had been good enough. No one had handed it to her or conspired on her behalf. She had earned this and the universe had given it to her. It was hers and hers alone, something no one else could take from her.

"I got in!" she exclaimed, this time in excitement.

She and Riley joined hands and squealed while the boys sat watching and covering their ears.

"I got in!"

"You got in!" Riley echoed. "I knew you could do it, Maya!"

The blonde tensed at her words of encouragement, fear suddenly gripping her.

"Wait, did you know about this?" she asked, raising the letter in suspicion.

The brown eyed girl, shook her head from side to side.

"I didn't know about the program, but I always knew you are an artist. Now you know it too." She assured her with a smile.

Without thinking Maya pulled her best friend into a hug. She realized now how much she needed this, how much she needed her. She had been so angry with Riley for building up her hopes, but maybe she had been right to push Maya into believing in things. Maybe she was better for it? If Riley had never interfered then Maya would never have had the courage to apply for this program in the first place. It would have wound up being one more thing that she pretended not to care about.

Riley eagerly returned the gesture, smiling from ear to ear.

"Congratulations Sugar!" Zay said with a large grin, happy that something was finally going her way. Maybe this rift between the group would soon be over once she realized she didn't need Lucas to like her in order to be happy.

"That's great, Maya. Congrats," Farkle said gingerly. While he was happy for her, he knew they still had a long way to go before things would be right between them again.

As the girls pried themselves apart Riley's smile faltered for a moment.

"This will be our very first summer without each other," she said sadly.

Maya nodded, she'd been so excited about the program, and then so terrified of not getting in, that she had completely forgotten that small factor.

"Yeah…it will, but you'll have Lucas," she replied, acknowledging him for the first time.

Riley nodded in return, "and you'll be working on your art," she responded, a watery smile on her lips.

She looked past her friend, to the green eyed boy sitting on the other side of her, but said nothing. The girls hugged one last time before she thanked everyone for coming again and crawled back out the window.

The entire walk home she replayed those moments over in her head. When Lucas had chosen Riley she hadn't imagined ever being able to step foot in that apartment again, but in the end she couldn't stay away. She'd felt as if the universe were playing some cruel joke on her, allowing her to believe that good things could happen to her too only to have them taken away from her when she'd started to count on them. For the first time since that day she had hope again.

And this time Riley hadn't been the cause behind it.

Maybe it was all going to be okay?

….And then the universe dealt her another sucker punch.

Waiting for her on her bed when she returned home was an identical envelope from the same address.


	10. 9-Shouldn't be a good in goodbye

**Alright my lovely readers this is the last chapter before we head into high school. The next time you see these characters three months will have passed and who knows how things may have changed during the course of that time. I appreciate you taking this journey with me. It only gets more interesting from here. Thank you again so much for all your love and support, I know I always say that but I swear I always mean it. ;)**

 **Also, please try to keep in mind that all these people are (currently) still just kids. They are still figuring out what feelings are and what they mean. No one in this story is a villain or a victim. No one person or couple is ALL good or ALL bad.**

 **Lucas may be changing (because people change people and choices have consequences) but at the end of the day he is still Lucas. He would never intentionally hurt either of the girls, nor will he be flip-flopping between them in either universe.**

 **Remember, you can't control how you feel, only what you do with those feelings.**

Lucas stood on the fire escape outside of the bay window, watching as Riley appeared from the closet with a large suitcase in hand. He wasn't supposed to be here. That much he was sure of. He had already made his choice, and for whatever reason, whether it still made any sense to him or not, he had chosen Maya instead of her. His feelings for the beautiful blonde were far from defined, but even before she'd become his girlfriend she was someone that he genuinely cared about. If she knew where he was right now she'd probably hate him, almost as much as he was beginning to hate himself.

There was nothing to gain from his presence here. These residual feelings for Riley were a direct betrayal of his relationship with Maya and the girl that his heart was clinging to wasn't even there anymore. The brunette that had spoken in the classroom earlier that day, that wasn't her. The light in her eyes, the warmth of her smile, the song in her voice; they were all gone. If there was the slightest chance that his Riley was still in there somewhere this was his last chance to reach her before she was gone.

She laid the suitcase open on her bed, making a mental checklist of everything that she would need for her impending journey. When Josh had first suggested that she come back home with him for the summer she'd tackled him in an embrace so fast and tight that she'd nearly knocked him over. His first night over after finals he'd sat his niece down and insisted that she tell him everything he had missed. She'd spent hours lamenting over the events that had taken place over the course of the year; going over every detail. Josh sat patiently listening as she explained how Lucas had chosen to go with Maya and the others that day in detention and how Lucas had fought so passionately for her best friend's happiness.

Josh hadn't read much into Lucas's concern at first. He'd assumed that his niece was just creating issues that didn't exist out of insecurity until she had gotten to the part about Maya's rather incorrect analysis of Riley's feelings and the events of Texas, then he leapt from his seat in anger and frustration. That was when he'd begun to realize just how bad things had gotten while he'd been away.

His first year at college had proven to be a lot more busy and difficult than he had originally anticipated. He'd assumed that he would be visiting his family all the time. NYU wasn't that far away and his older brother did live right there in the city. He'd figured he'd have plenty of time on his hands to stop by and check in, but homework and classes had kept him far more distracted than he had expected.

He sat and held Riley as she finally broke, after months of silence and self-sacrifice. She'd shared everything with him that night; all the little looks that seemed off between them and the comments she'd tried so hard to ignore. She'd told him how Farkle had figured out the truth about her feelings and ended up announcing the truth to everyone in her class on the rooftop New Year's Eve. While Josh didn't approve of the kid's methods, he was happy to know that she'd at least had someone to lean on a little bit during this whole mess. He'd fought the urge to bolt upward again when she'd told him how after months of agony, Lucas had made his choice, putting at least one of the girls out of their misery. He'd held for what seemed like hours while she had cried in his arms. Silly as it sounded, knowing that she had someone who was solely on her side…it helped.

Riley went over to her dresser, opening each one slowly as she tried to determine which items to take with her. Carefully she began to root through the items, deciding which were safe to pack for Philadelphia and which would need to be discarded permanently. She couldn't get rid of everything she had ever worn in front of Lucas, otherwise she'd be riding in Josh's car in her pajama's and spending the entire summer in her bathing suit, but the items that reminded her too much of specific moments had to go…she couldn't wear them and she was tired of watching them sit there and taunt her with memories that she was trying so hard to forget..

She took another deep breath as she began the task of throwing away more memories.

Memories that didn't mean anything….not to him at least.

They never really had

Why did this have to be so hard? Why did her first love have to be with someone that could never and would never love her back? What kind of sadistic God would allow that to happen?

No, she didn't mean that….at least she hoped she didn't. She didn't want to.

…but maybe she did?

What possible good reason could there be for her loving him if she wasn't meant to have him? Was this what Maya had always meant when she said that hope was for suckers? Was this what hopelessness felt like?

She didn't want to feel that way.

Riley had been drowning lately in thoughts she didn't actually want to have, emotions she didn't want to feel. This wasn't the person that she had been before and it wasn't the person that she wanted to be. Surely, she still had a say in that much, didn't she?

Maybe the time away would help her find herself again.

Lucas stood outside the window as she took each of her items of clothing and rolled them up into tiny little cylinders to line the bottom of her suitcase. She seemed to have her own special way of doing everything, and packing was no exception. He watched as she layered the items before disappearing into the closet and returning with an armful of shoes which she folded neatly into the massive suitcase as well.

He should go. .

His green eyes traced her outline, memorizing everything about her, reliving each memory they had made together one last time. It killed him to hear her say that she believed they had all been stolen moments between him and someone else, especially since he'd chosen that someone else over her, but he couldn't tell her the truth…not now.

Those memories only made it harder to let go and the best thing that he could do for everyone involved was to let Riley go. That was the only way that this would ever be okay, and the one thing they all agreed on was that they wanted this to somehow be okay.

He had just managed to convince himself to walk away and leave them all to face and accept the consequences of the choice he had made when something stopped him. Lucas turned toward the ladder, ready to descend the fire escape, but first he couldn't resist one last look at her. She was glancing back at the open closet door, her expression both serious and contemplative. Once again she disappeared through the open door.

Every voice in his head screamed at him that now was the moment to flee, the moment of no return. Something was about to happen. He didn't know what, but he knew that if he were to stay and find out it would only end up hurting them all more. He took one step down the ladder when he looked up to see that she'd emerged from the closet, a small familiar shoebox in her hands.

The shoebox filled with all the letters she'd written him over the last two years…

Riley took a deep, slow breath as she held the box in her hands. She'd known that it was a mistake to keep them in her closet, close enough to tempt her. She probably should have thrown them away…torn them to shreds…maybe even burned them into ash, but hadn't been able to find it heart to do that. She still couldn't.

That box was all she really had left of them…

It was her own personal Pandora's Box. Every fear, every doubt, every impossible dream she'd ever had where he was concerned was lurking in that box. One flip of that lid and all the winged little demons of her soul would be set free. Knowing that should have made it easier to stay away yet here she was cradling the box in her hands, tracing its lid with her fingers.

She knew that she could never truly get over him as long as she clung to it. Wasn't the entire point of going to Philadelphia to give herself the opportunity to separate herself from him? How could she accomplish that if she took him with her?

She knew it would be wrong to take the box with her…

But it felt wrong to leave it behind…

Her head jerked up, liberating her from the mental torture she'd been self-inflicting, only to face a torture of a completely different kind.

The brunette sighed heavily as her eyes glanced back down to the box in her hand. She couldn't afford to lose herself in those green eyes. She'd already lost too much of herself as it was.

"We talked about this, Lucas. You're not supposed to be here." She said as evenly as she could manage.

Lucas finished climbing through the window, despite her words. He was already halfway, it was too late to stop now.

"I know," he admitted dismally, "but I had to come. I couldn't just let you leave, not with things the way they were left in that classroom today. I just couldn't…" he trailed off, uncertain how else to explain without saying too much, but he knew she would understand. She always did.

She ran a hand through her chestnut tangles, steeling herself for what had to come next. This couldn't keep happening. He couldn't keep showing up here when she was weakest and most vulnerable, but of course that's why he was here. He sensed that vulnerability and wanted to protect her. He didn't seem to understand that he was what she needed protecting from…and that there was no way to protect her from herself. He couldn't be her hero, not this time.

"I said everything I had to say, Lucas." She insisted, even though there were a million things she'd wanted to say that she hadn't. Those words were currently resting safely in her hands.

A cold shiver ran through him, a reminder of why they weren't together. Yes, he had made the choice not to be with Riley, but she had been the one to put that choice in his hands. She had been the one to decide that Maya was his choice and to hell with what he actually claimed to want. She was always making speeches and decisions, but she never stuck around long enough to listen.

"Well maybe I didn't? Maybe I had something that I wanted to say. Did you ever think of that?"

Of course she had thought of that, she just didn't want to give him the opportunity to unintentionally wreck her one last time before she left the city. It was already taking all her energy and strength to hold the broken pieces together, one more hit and she'd shatter for sure.

"Lucas-"

"No," he interjected, his frustration bubbling beneath the surface.

"No. You had your chance. You said what you needed to say and now it's my turn. You don't get to walk away this time or tell me to be quiet or push me toward someone else. It's just you and me here and you have to hear what I need to say."

Riley was taken aback by the sharpness of his words and the angry tone with which he'd delivered them. The first time he'd ever yelled at her she'd shrank under their influence, but not this time.

"Friends talk, and real friends listen, right? That was the lesson. You're my best friend, Riley. You know more about me than anyone else in the entire world…but you wouldn't listen to me."

He ran a hand through his hair in an agitated manner as he thought back to all the times he'd tried to tell her that this wasn't what he'd wanted. He had wanted her and only her for so long. There never would have been a question about his intentions if she'd listened to him by the campfire instead of walking away with Farkle. His moment with Maya would never have happened and there never would have been a choice to make.

Until that night it had always been Riley.

He sighed in resignation, his flaring temper doused by the reminder of his own guilt for how what had gone wrong between them. He'd made the mistake of assuming that they belonged to one another, rather than telling her what he wanted. If he'd been clearer in his intent she'd never have doubted him to begin with.

"I'm not pointing fingers or saying it's all your fault. We all made choices that got us to where we are now. I just need to know what to expect from here on out. You said that we were still friends, but you won't look at me. You won't talk to me. Every time I come to see you, you can't kick me out fast enough.-"

She shook her head at his words, could he really not see how much this was killing her. Standing here in front of him right now was physically painful and she wasn't sure how much longer she could do it. All she wanted was to crumble but she refused to do that in front of him.

She would be strong…like Maya…

If she'd been more like Maya maybe he would have loved her back.

"Because it's hard, Lucas! It's hard to look at you. It hurts. It feels like needles through the heart, big, long, thick ones that they use at the doctor's office. Don't you think I want to talk to you? I can't! I used to know every single thought in your head and you knew mine. Of course I miss that, but it's not mine to have anymore. You gave it to someone else and I'm trying SO hard to respect that, but it's SO hard to respect that fact when you don't seem to!"

Riley groaned into her hands, so flustered that she'd completely forgotten the box as it fell and her heart's darkest secrets spilled out across the bedroom floor.

Lucas was torn. He wanted to comfort her, but he also wanted to know what was in at least one of those letters and this might be his only chance to ever find out what she'd held back all that time. Riley made the choice for him, when she bent down and began trying to pick them all up and shove them back into the box. He knelt down next to her and began to scoop the scattered letters into his hands as well.

"I never knew you were such a writer," he said with a chuckle, doing his best to lighten the mood.

"I'm not," she shrugged, though she knew the box full of unopened letters suggested otherwise. The truth was that she wasn't much of a writer. He was the only one that she had ever written to.

"I never really wrote anything until I started this. They're the only thing I've ever actually written other than papers for school, but I don't think that counts." She explained.

He shouldn't ask…but he couldn't help himself.

"What did you write about?"

For the first time since he'd seen her that day she gave a genuine, albeit half, smile.

"Nothing…everything…all the things I wanted to say but couldn't."

Lucas sighed as he considered her words.

"Why couldn't you? Say it, I mean? Why couldn't you just say it?"

Things could have been so different if she'd only had the courage to say whatever it was.

"I guess I was afraid of the consequences…" she hadn't understood her feelings at the time, nor known how to deal with them. She hadn't been ready then. She still might not be ready now…not that it mattered anymore.

He nodded in silent understanding. He'd had things he'd never had the nerve to say either for similar reasons.

"Can I read them now?" Unbelievable! All those months of censoring himself around her and now it was like his filter had evaporated into thin air.

Riley blushed at the mere thought. Why would he even want to know what she'd been thinking at the time? It was too late now.

That was why…there were no consequences anymore.

"This is important to you, isn't it?" as her brown eyes searched his, she already knew the answer.

She didn't understand it, but she didn't have to.

"I'll tell you what, you can read them, but not all at once, that would be mortifying. So…one a year."

That would guarantee him an entire lifetime of letters.

"Special occasions, birthday, Christmas, graduation…you can even decide what constitutes a worthy moment. Deal?"

She mulled his offer over in her mind, not even realizing she was chewing the corner of her bottom lip as she did so, but Lucas was painfully aware of it. Being this close it was almost impossible not to think of their one and only kiss on the subway. He couldn't help but wonder what it might have been like to kiss her…really kiss her. He was certain it would have been a moment to remember forever…a moment he'd never know.

"So at least two a year, sometimes more? That sounds doable." She rooted through the pile finding the one she was seeking and laid it in his hands.

"Already?" he asked arching an eyebrow.

She shrugged, "We graduate tomorrow. I think that counts. That's the very first one; the one that started it all."

He handed her the rest of the letters and she placed them back in the box before laying it down in her suitcase, her decision made.

"Lucas," she said as she turned to face him, "I'm not trying to hurt you or Maya. I know that this is hard on you all too…just give me some time to get used to the way things are…then we can work on figuring out how to be friends again, okay?"

He smiled weakly in return, unsure of what to say. As grateful as he was to hear her sound like herself for even a moment, he knew that would make it only that much harder to loosen her hold on him; a hold she wasn't even aware she still had.

They started to hug, but that felt awkward. Shaking hands was too formal, and too much contact for the comfort of either, so instead they settled for a friendly high five that left them both feeling more than a little hollow. It wasn't much of a goodbye, but it was better than nothing, wasn't it?

Maybe they would have been better off saying nothing at all?

As Lucas walked home his mind was racing, focused on the letter in his pocket. The first time he'd seen the pile on her bed a million questions had stirred inside him, all the things he'd been asking himself for the last two years. What had she been thinking in their silent moments? How had she felt about him all that time? How could she have given him up so easily? Perhaps the answers were waiting in these letters. Perhaps through this deal he would finally find peace.

He flung himself onto his bed, Riley's letter in hand. He examined the way she had folded the paper and her familiar handwriting in purple ink, playing with the edges as he carefully unfolded it and began to read the very first words she had ever held back from him.

 _Lucas,_

 _I feel really silly writing this, I don't even know you. All I know about you is your name (I still love it) and that you have amazing reflexes. Thank you for catching me. Falling your lap was humiliating enough, I can only imagine how embarrassing it would have been if you hadn't been there…of course if you hadn't been there Maya probably wouldn't have pushed me to begin with._

 _Anyway, that's not what I wanted to say…actually I don't know what I wanted to say. I just know that I wanted to say…something. I don't know you but you already seem to know me and it makes me wish I knew you too._

 _Thank you for the safe place to land, the jacket to shield me from the sprinklers, and your faith in me that I'm a good person. Maya is a good person too, she just doesn't want anyone to know that. She'd probably be mad that I told you that, then again it's not like you'll ever see this._

 _I hope that you like it here and that we have a chance to become friends,_

 _Riley_

* * *

Maya's whole world was frozen as she caught of a glimpse of the envelope on her bed. The clock slowed down as her heart sped up. No, no, no. This wasn't happening. This couldn't possibly be happening could it? She'd been so afraid to open that first envelope, so relieved when she'd read the words on that page. She had gotten into the program. For once in her life Maya Hart was good enough to be chosen. Had it all been a lie; some sick twisted joke the universe was playing on her?

'Congratulations Maya, you just won the opportunity of a lifetime. What are you going to do now? You're gonna find out that it was all a big mistake and you'll never actually win anything.'

It all seemed so cruel and unfair.

Was there really a point in even opening that letter? She already knew what it was going to say. Why else would the college go through the trouble of sending a second envelope unless something was wrong with the first one? They wouldn't, would they?

Oh God!

Her family, her friends, they all believed that she was going to this program. As if the heartbreak itself wasn't humiliating enough now she had to tell them that she wouldn't be going after all?

No.

Why should she do that when she could simply find somewhere else to go this summer? They didn't have to know that her plans had changed. Zay was going to Texas to spend the summer with Vanessa. Riley would be too busy with Lucas to even notice she was gone, and Farkle would probably be doing some genius thing with Smackle all summer. No one needed her there so no one would notice if she wasn't.

As the blonde was sitting there, attempting to plot an escape for the next three months, she heard a rustling at her window. She turned her gaze in the direction of the noise, only to see the last person she had wanted or expected to talk to right now.

"Farkle! What are you doing out there?" she hissed.

The brown haired boy simply shrugged in response. "I'm always out here."

Her blue eyes narrowed in suspiciously. "Always?"

"Okay, well I bounce back and forth between this window and the bay window. Wherever my girls are, that's where I go." He stated with an emphatic nod.

She scoffed at his declaration.

"We're not your girls. Riley belongs to Lucas…and I don't belong to anyone."

Farkle climbed through the window, not even slightly deterred by her lack of invitation. Given the current nature of their relationship he hadn't been foolish enough to expect one.

"Incorrect, no matter how you feel about me, I love you both the same, the same amount as one another, the same amount as I always have. Even when you both belong to other people, you will always be my girls. I go where you go."

"You're so full of it!" Maya said, dismissing him a wave of her hand. "You talk about how you love me and you love Riley and you'll never have the heart to choose between us, but it's a complete and total lie. You did choose between us, Farkle. You decided that Riley's feelings were more important than mine and so you sabotaged any chance I had at being with Lucas, because God forbid, he actually get the chance to decide if he liked me back!"

Farkle reeled backward. He'd suspected all along that this was her line of thinking, but hearing the words still stung. They had been friends almost half their lives. Had this situation with Riley and Lucas really made her forget who he was and what he was capable of so quickly? She spoke of him as if he were the enemy, as if he had deliberately set out to hurt her, but that wasn't the case.

None of them had.

He'd done the right thing. It was hard and it had hurt, but the right thing and the easy thing were rarely the same. Farkle had never meant for any of this to happen. He was just doing what he had always done; being there for his ladies. He had talked to both girls about their feelings, but only one of them seemed to actually know what she felt. Riley had asked for time, pleading Maya's case instead of her own, and he'd given them time, but nothing had gotten better.

Farkle had remained silent for months, giving Maya plenty of time to figure out her feelings and Lucas plenty of time to show any sign of interest in her, but even when he was sitting right next to Maya, Lucas was always focused on Riley and her farce of a relationship with Charlie Gardner. Riley, who had forced herself into giving up the first person she had ever liked. He couldn't say for sure how she felt about Lucas, but if it was anything like what he felt for Isadora he knew that was no small sacrifice.

Yes, he had been concerned for Riley. He wouldn't deny that. She had been slowly fading away ever since Texas and everyone seemed to be too preoccupied to notice. Farkle could see how this lie had eaten away at them all. It wasn't just Riley that was suffering, it was all of them.

Riley was losing her light.

Maya was losing herself.

Lucas was losing his cool.

And Farkle was losing his mind.

He really didn't want to be the guy who knows all the secrets and slowly goes mad and he knew the longer this lie went on the deeper the rift between them would grow. This was exactly what he had been trying to avoid and he truly believed that it could have been, if only Lucas had done the right thing to.

"Maya, Texas was months ago. Had anything happened between you two since that one moment by the campfire that night? He was still hung up on Riley the entire time they weren't "unofficially together" and you know it. I know that you know because I saw the look on your face when he stormed in demanding he couldn't be her brother. It was the same look you had during the couple's game when you asked why he was so interested in Charlie's answers to Riley's questions. You can't tell me that you didn't see it so why would you do this yourself? Why would you go chasing after someone you know has feelings for someone else?"

She had asked herself that same question at least a thousand times over the last few months and she still didn't have any kind of decent answer. Of course she had seen Lucas's little digs at Charlie on their second date and noticed his rather obvious outburst of jealousy on New Year's Eve. It was kind of hard to miss.

But there had been a moment…hadn't there? On the roof that night, when she had finally gone up to talk to him it felt for the first time they had made a genuine connection. What had the book said? When you look into their eyes you see their souls? She hadn't really been paying that much attention to be honest, but she kind of wished she had now. He had looked at her that night, really looked at her. He'd said that he was confused about who should be standing next to him when midnight struck, meaning he was starting to wonder if maybe it should be her. He'd looked at her…softly, he'd smiled at her genuinely. He had just opened himself up to the possibility of a world where he didn't end up with Riley Mathews, a world where maybe he could want someone else…someone like her.

And with one sentence Farkle had slammed that door shut.

Maya threw her hands up in the air in an exasperated manner.

"I don't know, Farkle! Okay? I don't understand why I do anything I do, I just…do it! That's who I am. I'm not a thinker, like Riley. I'm a doer, and so that's what I did! I had a thought or a feeling and I acted on it. Lucas gets that because that's what he does too and in that moment in Texas, whether it's convenient for him to admit to himself or not, he had a thought and a feeling, about someone other than his precious perfect princess, and he went with it! Just like me!"

Farkle met her gaze, unashamed and unafraid.

"Until he didn't. He may have thought about it. He may have felt something about it, but at the end of the day Maya, he chose not to act on it. Lucas separated himself from the moment and he made a choice. I didn't want to be the one to tell you the truth. I didn't plan on blurting it out the way I did. I had a thought, that we're all supposed to be friends and friends don't lie to each other. I have a feeling, I worried about what this lie was doing to all of us and I dreaded the damage that would come from it. The longer that lie went on the greater the damage, so I ended it. I'm sorry that it hurt you. I never meant for it to, but I don't regret my choice and I'd do it again." He insisted before adding sheepishly, "just not in such a public setting."

She ran a hand through her hair in frustration.

"So even after seeing what it did to me," she gestured to herself, "what it did to us," she gestured to the space between them, "you'd do it all over again. You'd still choose her? I'm the hard prickly one and she's all sunshine and rainbows, I get why she's easier to love, but you were the one person that was supposed to look past the prickles and rough edges and love me anyway."

He took two steps forward, closing the gap between them as he placed his hands on either side of her.

"Look at me," he commanded as she hesitantly met his eyes, burning with an intensity she'd rarely seen before.

"I do love you, Maya, and it's not because I look past your edges and prickles, it's because of them. I love you for exactly who you are, nothing and no one less. That's why it kills me to see that you can't love yourself the same way. You're not some poor wounded baby bird that fell from her nest. You are brave and strong and a force of nature. No one needs to protect you, but I try to anyway because I love you, and because lately you've stopped protecting yourself."

Her cerulean orbs clouded in confusion.

"Isn't that a good thing though? I've opened myself up to hope and light and all that crap I'm not sure I believe in."

He couldn't help but chuckle at her delivery of that last line.

"You have, and that is, but in your efforts to do so you seem to have developed this mentality that if the universe doesn't give you good things that it must hate you, that if you don't get something you want it means you can't ever be happy. That's way too much responsibility to give a person or a concept."

Maya hung her head at his words, thinking again of the second envelope still sitting on her bed.

"You believe in science right? Laws of gravity and physics, all that other stuff that puts me to sleep in class? Let me explain to you how my life works. I hope for things and other people get them. I try to fix something and I break it instead. Everything good that was given eventually got taken away. Even Riley knows the universe doesn't want me to be happy. Why do you think she works so hard to give me things? She knows that they can't happen on their own."

Farkle was indeed a man of science. He didn't wish for nonsensical things, but in this moment he found himself wishing for a magic mirror, one that could show the beautiful vivacious blonde girl standing in front of him exactly what he saw when he looked at her. Despite her own perceptions of reality, Maya Hart was incredibly loved by many people, but the love of every other person on the planet would never fill the void inside her. The only way she would ever be whole was if she learned to love herself.

"I'm going to offer a counter theory. Riley Mathews loves you so much that she can't wait to see what the universe has in store for you. Instead she tries to create your happiness because if she had her way then nothing would ever make you sad or angry, or even inconvenienced. That wouldn't be real life though. That would be life inside a vacuum. No one gets everything that they hope for Maya, not me, not Lucas or Zay, not even Riley. And if you want to talk about breaking things that didn't actually need fixing, let's not forget that her good intentions sometimes lead to bigger problems, like this choice of Lucas's."

She sucked in her bottom lip, chewing as she considered his words.

"No one's life is perfect. Bad things happen to everyone, but good things happen to. Good things happen to you, Maya, like that art program you're leaving for tomorrow."

Those words brought her back to her present reality. There was no summer art program for her, not anymore.

"I'm not going," she whispered timidly.

"Why not?" he asked both concerned and confused.

Why on earth wouldn't she go?

"I can't go," she corrected.

"Is it a money thing? Because if so, I will be more than happy to help you out, Maya. You're a talented artist and you deserve this learning opportunity."

He'd seen the look on her face when she had talked about this program. He knew how much it meant to her. Besides, it wasn't so much a favor as it was an investment. He would gladly help finance Maya's dream because he believed in her as much as she believed in the art itself.

"That's really sweet Farkle, but I don't want your money. Even if I was willing to take it, it wouldn't matter because I didn't really get in."

Farkle's eyes grew wide as his mind began playing over the moment an hour earlier in the bay window. She had seemed genuinely shocked at first and then extremely excited. If that had only been a performance then perhaps she had missed her calling and was meant for the stage instead.

"But you said you got in?" he asked confused.

"The letter I got said that I did," she replied sullenly.

He felt his heart break for his friend. He still didn't believe that the universe was conspiring against her, but he could understand now why she had been so insistent upon the idea. She was grieving a loss.

"Did something change between then and now?"

How could she be accepted one minute and then not accepted the next? This didn't make any sense to him.

"There was a second letter waiting for me when I got home…" she said as she pointed to the bed where it lay.

"And it said that you weren't actually accepted? Did they at least say why?"

She shrugged dismissively. "I don't know if they did or not, I haven't actually opened it yet."

Farkle nodded in understanding, "so you don't actually know what it says?"

The blonde snorted in a rather unladylike manner. "No, but I've got a pretty good idea."

"Because?"

He loved the girl dearly, and he had been happy for her when she had finally found something to hope for and something to believe in. However, he couldn't help but feel that her first taste of disappointment after hoping for something had been more harmful to her than good. Not only had she completely missed the point of optimism, she had bypassed her usual apathy and dove straight into pessimism, head first.

"Come on, Farkle. Why else would they send a second letter?"

"Honestly Maya, I have no idea, and neither will you until you open that envelope." He replied.

"I know it's probably nothing good," she reiterated.

No good ever came from a second letter.

He steered her toward her bed and pulled her down into seated position before taking a seat next to her.

"You have to open that letter Maya. I know that you're scared, but think about the first letter. You were so sure that it would say you'd been rejected, but it didn't. Don't be so afraid of bad news that you ignore the good."

She glanced down at the envelope, then back at him.

"What if you're wrong and it's not good news?" she asked.

He gently placed his hand on her shoulder and smiled supportively.

"Then I'll be here with you and you can lean on my shoulder as long as you need."

She smiled weakly, wondering how they had gone from screaming at one another to sitting on her bed while he offered her a shoulder to cry on…one she'd most likely need in just a few minutes.

Again her hands trembled as she opened the second letter that day that could potentially change her life. She'd skimmed over the first few lines, once, twice, three times before her eyes began to well up with tears and her chin began to quiver. She dropped the letter to the floor as Farkle instinctively wrapped his arms around her and held her while she sobbed. Maya clung to his arm for dear life as she gasped for air and burst into another round of fresh tears. She had been suffocating under the fear and anticipation of rejection for the last few weeks and finally the flood gates broke and everything she had been holding back came pouring out of her against her will.

Farkle felt horrible. Maybe he had been wrong to encourage her to open that letter? No, good news or bad, she had to face whatever it said. He was glad that he'd been here to sit with her while she had done so. The image of Maya sitting here alone, curled up in a ball in the same condition, without someone to hold her made him physically ill. It was better that he was here with her.

She opened her mouth to try and say something but she couldn't get her words out. She had cried so hard that she could scarcely breathe, let alone speak.

Farkle bent down and picked up the piece of paper, reading the few first lines. He wanted a reason for why they had teased his friend with an acceptance letter only to tell her that she wouldn't be attending.

His jaw dropped as he read the following words,

 _To Miss Maya Hart,_

 _We are pleased to inform you that after reviewing both your application and portfolio carefully, you have been selected to join us this summer on the Campus of New York University, to attend our prestigious Creative Arts program…_

The letter was literally an identical copy of the one she had read earlier that day. Her only guess was that after sitting on the letter for so many weeks they had assumed she'd never gotten it and sent a replica acceptance letter.

Farkle glanced at the blonde in bewilderment just as she managed to finally find her voice.

"I got in, Farkle. I really got in"

It wasn't a dream or a mistake. She had actually been accepted.

"Are you okay?" he asked quizzically.

Did girls cry like that when they were happy?

Maya nodded with a smile.

"I don't know," she admitted. "But for the first time I feel like maybe I will be, at some point."

That was more than she'd had just moments before.

He nodded with a sheepish grin of his own.

"Are we okay?" he implored cautiously.

She gave a watery smile in his direction.

"I don't know if we're okay yet…but we're better than we were."

Farkle had walked into this conversation with little to no expectations. He'd known that she wouldn't be happy to see him and that some painful truths would more than likely be exchanged between them, but he had not dared to let himself hope for this peaceful of an outcome.

"I'll take it," he said, his blue eyes shining with promise.

Slowly he lifted himself from her mattress and began to climb back out the window.

"Hey Farkle?" Maya called out as his feet hit the fire escape.

He poked his head back inside her bedroom, "yeah?"

She fidgeted with the letter in her hands before looking up at him.

"Thanks for being here."

Farkle nodded with a wide grin.

"Always," he declared before disappearing from sight.


	11. 10-What Goes Around Comes Around

**Wow! Okay, so I did NOT intend for this chapter to be so dang long. It just came out that way. Don't blame me, blame the writing gods ;)**

 **Thank you again for all the wonderful love and support you've given me and this story. I am thrilled that you all are getting just as much out of it as I'm putting in. 3**

Lucas played nervously with the shoulder strap of his messenger bag as he awaited the subway train that would take him to his first day of high school. Today was merely a dry run; an orientation and walk through for the freshmen, to hopefully ease the transition into the halls and customs that would define the next four years of their lives. Every single moment of his life up to this moment had been preparing him for this next step, yet as he stood on the precipice of the unknown, he found himself hesitant to cross over into the next phase of his life. What little he had experienced of growing up so far had been incredibly confusing and at times unbearably painful. It was only with the encouragement and support of his friends that he had managed to make it this far.

Unfortunately, those friendships had weathered many storms over the course of the previous year that had begun to chip away at their foundation. All of their best intentions had somehow managed to go horribly awry. With every secret that was kept and lie that was told they had drawn lines in the sand, separating themselves from one another. Lucas's choice between the two girls had only deepened those fractures. When he had changed the dynamic of one relationship within the group, he had inadvertently damaged them all, until they slowly drifted away from one another.

How would they fare in high school if they couldn't lean on one another anymore?

Could they honestly make it on their own?

Could he?

As if stepping into one new world wasn't terrifying enough, Lucas had the misfortune of a second life altering transition hanging over his head. He and Maya had only come together at the very end of the school year. The fallout of his decision had lasted an entire week before the inevitable pause of summer dawned. Those three months had been like living in an alternate reality, a vacuum outside the consequences of their actions. However, as the summer drew to a close there was only one question on everyone's mind, though no one dared speak it.

What would happen now that _she_ was back in the city?

He'd spent nearly every single day of the last three months engulfed within the flames of his budding romance with Maya. Although he'd spent the last two years of his life thinking of her as his friend, their time alone together had forced him to realize that in all that time he'd never truly known the girl that he had chosen. He'd known that she was beautiful, passionate, fearless at times; he'd known those things because they were easy to see.

She'd stared him down at least a dozen times and never once had he seen the secret hiding behind her blue eyes, nor had he heard her true feelings disguised as demeaning nicknames and halfhearted teasing. Never once had he thought to look into her eyes or between the lines of what she'd been trying to tell him without betraying her friend. Now that he was truly paying attention he couldn't help but wonder what other secrets were hiding in her eyes and behind her words.

After two years of seeing and interacting with her on a daily basis he finally understood what Farkle had told the class his first day of seventh grade. He hadn't likened Maya to the moon simply because it was the opposite of the sun. Maya was the moon: dark and mysterious, a beautiful illusion. One side of her illuminated the night sky, while the other she hid from the view of the world. Only two people had seen both sides of Maya Hart, and both of those people loved her fiercely. Perhaps if she would share that side of herself with him, he might love her too?

With that in mind he'd thrown himself fully into the study and discovery of Maya Penelope Hart. His days were filled with witty verbal foreplay which he'd later examine for hidden meanings and heated kisses, that stirred strange and foreign sensations within him. He immersed himself fully in the color of her eyes, the taste of her mouth, but even in his quest to the other side of his girlfriend's soul the ghost of the one he hadn't chosen still lingered in his mind. He hadn't realized how much of his thoughts and actions revolved around _her_ , how much she had become part of him, until her light had gradually been replaced with something darker and heavier that he didn't understand.

He'd tried so hard not to think of her, to ignore the thoughts and unanswered questions in the back of his mind where _she_ was concerned and simply move forward. But no matter where he was or what he was doing, whether he was alone in his room or tangled up in Maya; _she_ was always there with him. Sometimes it was a presence that he couldn't shake, others a voice in his head that he couldn't drown out, until the scales of light and dark began their balancing act.

Without her there to calm the storms within him he'd began falling back on his former nature. Each time he found himself giving into impulse in the heat of the moment the senses and instincts he had spent the last two years honing slowly began to dull and eventually fade, until he couldn't hear her anymore. While his days were spent studying the mystery that was Maya, he spent his nights with _her_ letter in his hand, reading and rereading her words until he'd burned them into his brain. By then it was the only way he could still feel her…and he needed to feel her.

He stood there waiting, every atom of his being vibrating, on edge until the subway car pulled up and he took his usual seat. Even then his nerves persisted. The next stop was _theirs_.

Lucas held his breath as the train slowed to a stop. At this point all expectations had been thrown to the wayside. This one scenario could go any number of ways and he'd spent the majority of the night before imagining them all, save one. He couldn't imagine either of them starting the school year without _her_ , and he had no desire to question his motives as to why that was.

His feelings for Maya had already begun to morph into something else. He had spent the entire summer getting to know the girl behind the image and his reward had been a moment of rare vulnerability in which he'd seen a glimpse of the girl behind the wall. As he scratched the surface and learned more about her he found things to respect and admire that he hadn't known before.

Shouldn't his feelings for _her_ have changed too?

The doors to the car opened and a mass of people flooded through, including a beautiful blonde who was slowly making her way toward him. Her blue eyes that usually sparkled with mischief had lost their shine and her smile was watery at best as she plopped down in the seat next to him.

"Hey," he sighed, though he wasn't sure if he was disappointed or relieved that Maya had been alone this morning.

"Hi Huckleberry," she muttered dejectedly.

She couldn't even look at him. Right now he wasn't her boyfriend. He was just a painful reminder of how she had lost the best thing in her life. Every good thing she had ever had in her life had somehow began and ended with her best friend…even her relationship with the boy sitting next to her. Maya knew the taste of his lips, the feel of his body pressed against hers, but even after the last three months together she still wasn't sure she knew why she needed those things from him so much. She just did.

"Looks like we're riding to school together after all," he observed.

She had been adamant that they arrive separately. Though she hadn't come out and said that she'd been hoping to maintain her ritual with her lifelong best friend, Lucas had assumed that was the reason. He preferred to think that they were simply trying to be considerate of the other girl's feelings. It was easier to believe that than to admit maybe they just didn't enjoy one another's company unless there were no words involved.

Maya nodded solemnly.

"Looks that way," she mumbled, lost in her own thoughts.

The blonde had hoped that the three months away would be enough for Riley to find peace with the events of the previous year and more importantly find herself again. She'd clung to the hope that Riley would find someone that she could have feelings for, real feelings, someone to make her see the difference between what she had with Lucas and what Maya had with him. If she could just experience that fire for herself, surely she'd understand how consuming it could be. She'd realize that it had never really been a choice.

Lucas reached out wrapping his arm around the girl sitting next to him. He knew this went against all of their rules of conduct and there was a chance that she would recoil from his gesture and lash out at him with her words, but he'd learned enough over the summer to know that even if she didn't want to admit or accept it, this was what she needed in the moment.

Normally she would pull away. They weren't supposed to be doing this and if she had any fight left in her at all she'd be putting him in his place for taking advantage of her moment of weakness, but right now she simply didn't have it in her. Not only had Riley not called her when she had returned home the week before, she hadn't been there this morning when Maya had gone to meet her before school. She'd climbed up the fire escape to find Riley's room dark and the bay window locked.

The real Riley would never have locked her out no matter what had happened between them.

As the car pulled to another halt the young couple glanced hesitantly at one another. Neither really wanted to get up and face whatever their first day at high school might bring. It felt wrong to be starting their new journey this way, without their friends by their side.

The room was already filled with a sea of freshmen whenever they entered the room. The faculty at the door asked them their names and handed them packets with schedules and maps accordingly. Both took seats on the bleachers and began combing the masses searching for familiar faces, which were few and far between.

"Who are all these losers?" she whispered.

He shrugged, wondering why she felt the need to put them down before she even knew any of them. It was just another piece of the puzzle he was trying to figure out.

"Guess they're other kids from other schools," he deduced.

He continued to skim through the crowd searching for familiar brown eyes that never came. She had to be here somewhere, but searching for his friends in this gym was like searching for the title character in a Where's Waldo book, frustrating and nearly impossible.

The principal demanded the attention of everyone in the room before welcoming them to their new school and explaining the procedures for the rest of the day. It seemed simple enough. They would be meeting each of their teachers and learning about the classes they'd be attending that year. Maya and Lucas examined their schedules and quickly realized they had chosen different electives and only had one class together.

"Oh boy," he said as he turned to face his girlfriend of the last three months.

She leaned over to see what had him so concerned.

"Seriously?! I've been here five minutes and I already hate high school." She exclaimed.

Riley sat on the back row of the bleachers examining her packet, along with everyone else. Part of her wished that she had taken Farkle, Zay, and Isadora up on their offer to meet her before school, but she had been determined to put some space between herself and the Riley protection squad. She loved her friends and she appreciated their concern, but if last year had taught her anything it was the dangers of losing yourself within another person. She had made that mistake one too many times; first with Maya, and again with Lucas, and all three had suffered greatly for it.

The three of them had grown together like a twisted tree, until their roots were so tangled up in one another that none of them could grow properly. They had strangled one another with their misconceptions and unrealistic expectations until finally one of them had no choice but to snap. She wasn't sure which one of them that had actually been. Whether it had been Maya when she revealed her true feelings in Texas, Lucas when he chose to be with the girl he had really wanted all along, or had it been her, when she had finally released them both from all obligation to her. The who and how didn't really matter. The only important thing was that they not fall back into old habits.

It had been difficult not to pick up her phone and call Maya or Lucas when she'd gotten back her first night. It had been even more difficult to walk out of her front door this morning knowing that the bay window was locked, but if she was ever going to assert her independence these things had to be done. If they had any hope of ever being friends again, first they all had to be their own people with their own individual identities; stepping away from everything she had known before had provided her with the opportunity for new experiences and discoveries, a chance to define herself.

The first bell rang and the students were dismissed to locate their homerooms. Maya and Lucas took one last look at one another before realizing their maps were leading them in opposite directions.

"Guess this is where you go one way and I go the other Huckleberry," she said with as much sass as she could muster.

He nodded sullenly. So far she was the only person he'd seen that he recognized and he was in no hurry to part with her.

"I'll see you in R500, Physical Science," he reminded her of the one class where they could look forward to a friendly face.

She bit the inside of her cheek, desperately wishing that Riley were here next to her.

"Yeah, see ya then." She said before heading down the hall.

The rest of the day was a little better. She'd had a class with Darby and one with Sarah. True, they weren't exactly close friends, but at least she already knew their names. That was more than she could say for most of the student body. Next had been her class with Lucas, which thanks to alphabetical seating she could look forward to sitting with all year long. As she had gone to enter her next class she couldn't help but smile when she heard Zay's voice, another friendly face to get through the day with. The day was nearly done. They had only one class left and still she'd seen no trace of Farkle, Isadora, or Riley.

Riley sat down at a desk in the middle of the classroom when she felt someone tap her on the shoulder. Relief flooded her as she turned to see Farkle grinning wide.

"So you're in this class too?" he asked, hoping neither of them were lost and he could look forward to having a friend in at least one of his classes.

"This is AP English with Honeycutt, right?"

Please let this be the right class. She'd already gotten lost twice today. It was humiliating having to explain that she was in the wrong room and feel everyone's eyes on her as she walked toward the door. She wasn't sure she could go through that again. Even if it was the wrong class maybe she'd just sit and pretend she belonged here anyway.

"If it isn't, we're both lost," he stated emphatically.

The bell rang and a tall, handsome older gentlemen stepped in front of the class, introducing himself as Mr. Honeycutt and welcoming them to AP English. Both Farkle and Riley released the breath they hadn't realized they were holding at his words. He handed out the syllabus and began to go over the curriculum and rules.

"Now, this is an advanced placement course so tomorrow when you arrive there will also be upper classmen in this room with you. Don't worry, most of them don't bite." He said laughing at his own joke before realizing the freshmen were too traumatized already to find the humor in his statement.

"Seriously though, they were exactly where you are now, not that long ago. Don't be intimidated. They may be older, but they really aren't that different." He said with failed attempt at a wink.

Lucas sat in his final class of the day, counting the seconds until the bell would ring and he would be released from this nightmare. Other than his class with Maya, he only had one class with Zay and he and Billy were in Physical Education together. The rest of the day had been spent surrounded by strangers, listening to teachers make bad puns. He'd yet to see his other friends at all. Maybe Farkle and Isadora weren't here? Maybe they had opted to attend some other high school for mega geniuses. Did Einstein Academy go all the way up to twelfth grade?

Finally, the bell rang and he was free to go. He leapt from the desk he'd been sitting in and rushed out the door. He'd been in such a hurry to get out of there that he hadn't even bothered to look where he was going. Not even three steps out of the classroom and he felt himself collide straight into the body of another student.

"I'm so sorry I- "he suddenly forgot what he was going to say as he found himself looking into the deep brown eyes he'd been longing for all day.

Of course it would be him.

Of all the classrooms, in all the hallways, his had been right across the hall from hers.

"Lucas…hi," she exhaled slowly, steeling herself for the onslaught of emotions that were waiting to overtake her.

"Hi," he replied with a smile, his voice gentle, timid even.

She chuckled lightly at his nervousness, pleased that it matched her own. For some reason that made this terribly awkward moment less horrible than she'd imagined it to be.

"Hi," she said again before mentally chastising herself.

She wasn't supposed to do that anymore.

It was no wonder that he hadn't been able to pick her out of the crowd this morning. The girl standing before him didn't look anything like the one he had known last year. The long dark hair that he had adored was now several inches shorter and pulled back halfway in a silver barrette that held every hair from her face except her side swept bangs, which kept falling into her eyes as she tilted her head innocently. She'd traded in her flowy floral print dresses for black skinny jeans and a white quarter sleeve blouse with a cropped vest and knee high boots; all of which perfectly accentuated her feminine curves.

"I was starting to think that I wouldn't see you," he confessed.

The two stood frozen in the hallway, uncertain what to say or how to behave just as Farkle exited the classroom and Zay and Maya, who had met coming out of their own rooms, stumbled into the hallway as well.

Maya watched as Lucas stood there blatantly staring at some girl. She'd only ever known him to look at one girl that way, but this girl didn't look anything like _that_ one. It couldn't be. Her features scrunched as she squinted at the female standing opposite of her boyfriend, who was seconds away from a verbal lashing if he wasn't very careful.

"Is that?" she asked turning to Zay, who was grinning from ear to ear.

"Well, would you look at that? Miss Riley is making everyone smiley now. Just look at her. Wow!"

Her blue eyes pierced through him, sending a cold chill down his spine.

He raised his hands, prepared to defend himself.

"What? I'm just saying, girl looks good!"

Maya had been waiting, hoping to see her best friend all throughout the day, but as she stood there watching her boyfriend and her best friend sharing an intimate moment in the middle of the crowded hallway, a feeling that she hadn't wanted or expected took hold of her. The next thing she knew she was walking straight over toward them, wearing a beaming smile that oozed insincerity and a hint of danger.

"Hey Riles, Hey Huckleberry," she greeted casually as she reached down and took Lucas's hand into her own; something she never did anywhere but especially not in public. It still felt weird, and sweaty, why were his hands always so sweaty, but for some reason she couldn't make herself let it go.

Lucas glanced down at their hands and then back up to his girlfriend with a quizzical expression on his face.

"I love the new look," she crowed as she swung their hands together back and forth for everyone to see, before turning to face her boyfriend, her blue eyes dancing with lightning flashes. "What about you honey?" Had she really just called him that? "What do you think of the new Riley?" she asked, but didn't bother to wait for a reply. She had a sneaking suspicion she already knew the answer.

Maya turned her gaze back to her best friend, who she for some reason, was treating like the enemy all of a sudden. She wanted to stop. She wanted to let go of Lucas's awkwardly sweaty hand and "bay window" Riley so that they could work things out and get back to the way that things were supposed to be but for some reason she couldn't stop. Why couldn't she stop?

"Who would have guessed little Miss Riley Mathews would be the one driving all the boys crazy? Seriously, one look at you and they'll be begging for a date." She said emphatically.

Riley smiled nervously and tried to brush her bangs behind her ears, but they wouldn't stay.

"I just felt like doing something different," she said with a shrug, suddenly feeling extremely self-conscious.

"You look great Riley," Farkle interjected, staring Maya down as he did so.

"Yeah, ya do!" Zay exclaimed from a safer distance behind the blonde.

She smiled weakly in response, grateful for their support. Why did she suddenly feel as if she was being attacked? Did Maya realize what she was doing or was Riley just being her usual insecure self again?

"Anyway, I'll see you guys later," she said with one last watery smile. Zay and Farkle offered to walk her out but she assured them that she could get home on her own.

Lucas looked over at Maya and then down at their joined hands. Had he realized what was happening in the moment he'd probably have put a stop to it, but he'd been too shocked by his girlfriend's behavior to even process the meaning behind it at the time.

"What the heck was that?" he inquired, his voice rising slightly.

She shrugged as if she had no idea what he was talking about, but of course she understood the question, she just didn't have an answer, not one that made any sense to her anyway. She hadn't wanted to hurt Riley, but when she'd walked into that hallway and seen the two of them together something inside her had reacted against her will. Somehow she had once again gone too far. Riley had always been the one to keep her from doing that, however this new Riley seemed to have the opposite effect on her. Maybe it was the new hair and clothes or the fact that she had locked the bay window, but when she had looked at her friend just moments ago she hadn't seen her friend. She'd seen an imposter instead.

"What was what?" she countered innocently.

He jerked his hand from her grasp, which now that Riley was no longer in sight, she was more than happy to set free.

"What? You don't like when I hold your hand?" she teased.

He shook his head and scratched the back of his neck as she spoke. Was she really going to sit there and pretend that she had done nothing wrong?

"You don't like when you hold my hand sweet potato," he retorted, his voice rising a little more.

The blonde's features contorted as she pretended to gag.

"Sweet potato, really? That's disgusting."

He locked his jaw, placing his hands on his hips. It was either that or he was going to end up hitting something and he really didn't want to deal with a broken hand on his first week of high school.

"You called me honey. I figured since we're doing pet names now, I'd try it out. See how it fits." He said with a shrug of his shoulders.

Riley would have gladly been his sweet potato or any other disgusting name he'd offered her.

So would at least half the girls she'd come across that day.

"If you really wanna call me something that bad, I'll think of one I can tolerate for you to call me, okay?"

All summer she'd insisted on their so called rules. Now one day of high school and she'd completely thrown them all out the window?

"Why are you so eager to compromise all of a sudden?" he implored as his green eyes glinted with suspicion.

"We're a couple Lucas. In middle school everyone knew that, but this is high school. The rules are different here. How will all these new girls know that we're a couple unless we act like it?" she said as she stepped forward running her finger along his chest and biting her lip in that way she knew he couldn't resist.

Lucas wasn't an idiot. He knew exactly what she was doing and he wanted to stay angry, but his body had already begun to betray him. There was something about this girl that made his blood boil in a way that he couldn't even begin to understand. She had promised to break through his nonchalant exterior and indeed she had done so. He didn't know what he was feeling he just knew that it was different from anything he'd experienced before and whatever it was he seemed to be powerless against her.

He spent the next hour and half on the sofa of her empty apartment, kissing her senselessly. All logical thought had dissipated the moment she had touched him. He was still angry with her and she knew it. She could feel it in the way he kissed her, but she didn't mind. In fact, she rather enjoyed their more aggressive interactions. They didn't do soft and slow, or sweet and gentle. That required restraint, something neither of them seemed to possess, especially in the presence of one another.

As he began his walk home he thought of Riley and their collision in the hallway. Though he'd once again allowed himself to get swept away by Maya and whatever he felt for her, once he'd come back down from that high, that moment with Riley had managed to chew through every other thought he had. He thought about how her body had felt when crushed against his. It felt different from Maya's, but just as good, just as right.

He remembered noticing that she'd changed her shampoo. Instead of the sweet cranberry scent that he had come to associate with her in the past, it had been a citrusy one tickling his nose just a few short hours ago. Most of all he thought about that second hi. That one little word had somehow come to symbolize their entire relationship. She may have looked and smelled different, but that moment, that one word, had proven that deep down she was still the Riley he had always known.

Lucas wanted to see her, more than anything he wanted to see her. He just didn't know how that would be possible. She had insisted that they weren't allowed to be together alone ever again, Maya had proven today that she couldn't handle seeing the two of them within thirty feet of one another, and they didn't have a single class together. Unless one of those things changed, how could he ever hope to spend time with his best friend again?

Though it killed him to do it, he forced himself to walk past her apartment building without climbing up the fire escape. After what had happened today there was no guarantee that she'd want to see him, even without the rules. Why were there so many new rules in his life? Why did one thing changing have to change everything else? Riley had promised him that they would always be there for one another and care about what the other had to say. He just hoped that wouldn't change too.

All he could do was accept whatever she was willing to give.

He entered his own apartment and headed straight for his bedroom. There on top of his bed was an envelope, addressed to him with purple ink. Lucas ripped the small package open, careful not to tear the contents. Inside was another folded up note and a piece of paper folded in half.

 _If I've timed this right, you should be getting this the day high school starts._

 _It's the first day of the rest of our lives._

 _That's kind of a big deal, isn't it?_

 _I'm going to say it's big enough to qualify as a special occasion._

 _Hope you had a great first day!_

Lucas couldn't help but smile as he began to examine the second letter she'd ever written him. Ever since the night he'd read the first one he'd been plagued with curiosity over what else she might have written to him and when he might receive the next one. After all that time wishing and wondering, he'd finally gotten a glimpse of her innermost thoughts and feelings and had been left craving more ever since.

 _Lucas,_

 _I still feel a little silly writing to you like this, but it's not as bad now that we are actually friends. At least I like to think that's what we are. I hope that's how you think of me and not the crazy girl who secretly sniffs you when you're not looking. Have I mentioned how grateful I am to know that you'll never actually see these words? Cause I really really am._

 _I couldn't believe when you gave me your number, or when you asked me for mine. Honestly, I'm not even sure how I made it through that conversation. It was as if the only words I could remember were one syllable long, but somehow we exchanged numbers and began what I thought was a great texting relationship._

 _Until my dad took away our phones…_

 _I never knew how amazing listening to someone talk could be until about an hour ago. I've listened to people talk before. Maya and I talk all the time, but tonight it was different somehow. As we sat there and you talked about Sofia and her baby and your hopes and dreams for the future, I felt something that I 'd never felt in all the time we were texting. I finally felt like I knew you a little bit._

 _I want to know more._

 _I want to know everything._

 _I want to actually know you because I believe that you're worth knowing._

 _I also believe you'll make a wonderful veterinarian someday._

 _Your Friend,_

 _Riley_

* * *

Riley Mathews stood in front of her full length mirror examining her reflection, wondering if she appeared "grown up" enough for her first day as a high school freshman. She ran her fingers through her long hair, fingering the individual curls that framed her face, inhaling deeply and exhaling slow to calm her nerves. Today was a big day, one that she had imagined a million times, but in her mind it had gone differently.

When she had imagined it she was standing in front of her mirror when Maya would appear through the window, just as she had always done. She'd immediately veto her outfit and force her back into the closet and after she'd failed to find something on her own, Maya would inevitably end up helping compose her ensemble and then they would go skipping arm in arm down to the subway station. Okay, maybe they wouldn't skip. High school freshman probably shouldn't skip, but they would face this major event together.

Instead, it was Lucas who had silently entered while she'd been lost in her thoughts of the way things were supposed to be. He watched as she swished the skirt of her dress and played with the belt around her waist before sneaking up from behind and wrapping his arms around her, taking her hands in his own to keep her from fidgeting.

"You look beautiful," he whispered in her ear before leaning in to kiss her cheek.

The young brunette forced a smile as she internally flinched at his choice of wording. She realized that he meant it as a compliment, but each time she heard that word in her mind it was always attached to something else…someone else.

Lucas had chosen her. He wanted her. He loved her…but none of those facts changed the fact that he in his mind her best friend was "the blonde beauty" while she was simply "the pretty brunette." He hadn't thought of her as beautiful at the time. Did he really think of her that way now? Or was he merely saying it because he was trying to be a good boyfriend and that's what good boyfriends were supposed to say?

He sighed as he tightened his embrace around her. The girl in his arms was far from a mystery to him; he knew her heart and her habits. The only part of her that remained a mystery to him was the inner workings of her strange and curious mind, but thanks to his many mistakes over the last year, he now knew more than he had nine months ago.

"You don't have to do that, not with me."

She turned her head, meeting his gaze, which was currently more inquiring than adoring.

"I know that smile, Riley. That's your Texas smile, your Charlie Gardner smile. Something is obviously bothering you."

Riley began to relax in his embrace. He knew her too well, but she liked that he knew her.

"I was just thinking about something," she attempted to shrug it off, hoping he would let the subject go.

Lucas nodded solemnly. All he wanted to do was help her. All he had ever wanted to do was to help her and be close to her. Why was she still fighting him?

"What were you thinking about?" he asked, wondering if his suspicion was correct.

She sighed heavily, releasing all the disappointment and tension she'd been holding onto for the last three months.

"I was thinking about Maya."

'And how you called her beautiful' she thought to herself.

"Oh…"

They had spent nearly every day of their summer vacation enjoying one another's company. Though the title was different, for the most part they were still exactly the same. They passed the summer days away with video games, trips to the library, and cuddle bunny marathons, but the majority of those hours had been spent simply talking to one another. They had talked about silly things and important things, random subjects and childhood memories; yet in all that time never once had Riley mentioned her best friend, and Lucas, as he had always done throughout the course of their relationship, simply followed her lead.

Logically he knew that the subject would come up sooner or later, but he'd honestly been hoping for later…much later. They had only scratched the surface of that topic once before, and he was relatively certain the only way he and Riley had made it through that discussion in tact was because he had wound up confessing his love to her for the first time. Had those words not slipped out of his mouth, he feared to think where that conversation might have led.

Riley's greatest flaw, her only flaw as far as he could see, was that she never gave anything less than everything, leaving none for herself. She believed in the world, in Pluto, in people like him and Maya, but she had none left over for herself. With no hope or faith in herself all she was left with was the paralyzing fear of not being enough; not pretty enough, not smart enough or deserving enough. In her mind there was always someone better or more deserving.

Unfortunately, throughout the course of the previous year, that insecurity had been fed by the mindless commentary of spectators and friends. Worse, he himself, had unintentionally stoked those flames with his own words and actions. It wouldn't matter that he loved Riley or that he chosen her. He could tell her every single day that she was the only one he wanted and her mind would still ask the same questions…questions he still didn't know how to answer.

Never once in the last three months had he doubted that he'd made the right choice, but as he lay awake at night replaying every moment of the last year in his head, he couldn't help but wonder how they had gotten here; to this moment in time where Riley was his girlfriend and Maya wasn't even his friend anymore. His feelings for the shy bubbly brunette had always been clear, and it was those feelings that had solidified his decision, but what about the girl he hadn't chosen?

He knew that he had never loved her the way he loved Riley, but he would be lying to himself if he said that he'd only ever felt platonically toward the sassy, guarded blonde. There had been moments where he'd felt something, something different that Riley but more than friends. Was it possible that he had loved Maya another way, a way that he still didn't understand? How else could he have allowed those moments to happen? And if so, how could he ever hope to explain that to Riley in a way that wouldn't make her lose faith in him?

It hurt to think about the girl who had removed herself from his life altogether, and fact that he had hurt her so much that she'd felt the need to do it, but maybe it had truly been for the best. He knew if Riley had her way they would simply all go back to the way things had been before, and part of him wished that were possible, but if what Riley had said about Maya stepping back had been true then they had always been leading up to this moment, they simply hadn't known it at the time.

But Riley wouldn't understand any of that. She lived in a world of absolutes; good and bad, right and wrong, boyfriend or brother. To her there were no in-betweens, no maybes, or almosts. If he told her that he had felt something for her best friend, even if he didn't understand it, even if what he felt for her was stronger, he would lose her. If he tried to convince her to focus on her relationship with Maya instead of attempting to mend the entire group, he would undoubtedly plant the misconception that he couldn't be around the blonde because he feared he'd chosen wrong and secretly longed for her.

His girlfriend was also his best friend. He could tell her anything in the world, but he couldn't tell her this. So instead he smiled half-heartedly as he brushed the hair from her face and asked "Have you heard from her at all this summer?"

The brunette nodded, but there was sadness in her eyes. She'd thought when Maya had called them all to the window and poured her heart out about the art program application that everything would be okay again. Maya had hugged her and they had celebrated together, for that one brief second it was as if nothing had changed, but even after an entire summer apart nothing was the same. They had spoken once or twice, but Riley wasn't allowed to talk about Lucas and Maya didn't want to talk about the art program so they never seemed to get very far into the conversation before falling into awkward silence.

Lucas nodded in understanding and lifted her chin to meet her lips in a sweet good morning kiss before disentangling himself from his girlfriend's body and making his way toward the window. Her brown eyes followed him over to where he stood preparing to exit her room.

"Where are you going?" she inquired, clearly puzzled.

"I'm going to go down the fire escape, up the elevator and through your front door so that I can walk you to school," he explained.

Riley tilted her head in thought at his response.

"But you're already here…"

Her boyfriend chuckled at her statement and the question it implied.

"Yes, and if your father catches me in here I'll be spending my entire first day of high school missing a shoe," he gently reminded.

She nodded in agreement, though she still didn't understand why her father felt the need to behave so weirdly around Lucas. It wasn't as if she was dating some hoodlum. Lucas was a nice boy, and he genuinely loved her. Wasn't that so much better than the alternative?

"Good thinking. See you downstairs," she said, planting a quick kiss on his lips before he climbed through the window. Lucas was halfway down the fire escape when Cory suddenly burst into his daughter's room. He stood there a moment with his hand resting on the handle, his daddy senses tingling.

"There's a boy in this room!" he exclaimed as he began inspecting the room for hiding places.

Riley scoffed, hoping to cover her nerves. "No there isn't." she insisted.

Cory searched the room for any sign of his daughter's new boyfriend, but so far had yet to find him.

"I know he's in here. I'm a father. We know things."

Like exactly how a young boy thinks when he's alone with his girlfriend. Granted Cory hadn't had those thoughts until a few years later, but kids were growing up far too fast these days, even the good ones.

"Riley, Lucas is here to meet you for school," Topanga's voice called from the hallway.

The young girl sent her father a look clearly stating "I told you so," as she grabbed her bag and headed out the door, leaving Cory standing there with a baffled expression. He could have sworn he sensed the young man's presence.

Lucas and Riley stood outside of their new school, hand in hand, glancing over to one another for reassurance. The fact that they had sought one another out at the same moment caused them both to smile.

"It's the first day of the rest of our lives," she stated nervously. "We're ready for this, right?"

Lucas looked into the anxious eyes of his beautiful girlfriend, then down to their linked hands. He didn't know exactly what the future had in store, but as long as she remained the person by his side he truly believed the worst was behind them.

"We're ready," he nodded with a smile, causing her heart skip a beat.

They collected their respective orientation packets and began searching for a place to sit. Immediately they were overwhelmed by the number of new faces staring back at them. Riley had thought because this was only an introductory day with other freshman that it would somehow be less daunting and official, but as she gazed out into the masses, her stomach tightened at the realization that this truly was their first official day as freshman and once again things were changing before she was ready for them too.

Lucas reached down taking her hand once more. He needed the certainty that he had felt only moments before outside those doors. He too had underestimated the significance of this day until it was staring him back in the face. They were in a new place, filled with new people. There would be new experiences and expectations…new possibilities. Everything was new and suddenly terrifying. It was as if he was starting over, all over again. Two years ago he had welcomed that opportunity, but now everything was different.

He'd become a better person; someone that he and his family could all be proud of. He'd found good friends, sure things were a little strained between them at the moment, but they were the best people he'd ever known. His green eyes fell upon Riley. She was the girl of his dreams, his first love. He was, for the most part, who he wanted to be, where he wanted to be, and finally with the person he'd always wanted. The idea of beginning again didn't feel like a blessing. It felt more like a threat, the danger of losing something precious and rare.

Maya took her packet from the lady who looked at least a hundred years old sitting at the table and walked through the double doors of the gym. This was not how she had imagined her first day of high school at all. She'd always pictured the room smaller, the bleachers filled with the same kids that she'd known her entire life, and Riley at her side. In this room filled with strangers she felt small and lonely, and for a moment she wished that she'd swallowed her pride and climbed the fire escape this morning. Even if she had she'd probably still be feeling this way, the only difference was this way she didn't have to see them together.

She skimmed the bleachers searching for a familiar face. After all, he'd promised to save her a seat. Finally, after what felt like an eternity of standing there feeling like an idiot, she spotted Zay, who was flirting with some girl she'd never seen before sitting next to him. When he saw her he began waving his arms wildly, attempting to get her attention. A lift of her eyebrows and a sarcastic expression told the young man that she'd spotted him just fine, an expression she was still wearing as she sat down on the other side of him.

"You couldn't have worn a sign or something?" she teased with a smirk.

Zay shrugged as he leaned over, resting his elbows on his knees.

"I could have worn one of those shirts that says I'm with stupid." He jested back, both knowing it was all in good fun.

She mocked indignation with a dramatic flip of her hair.

"Isaiah Dwanye Babineaux-"

His eyes grew wide. What was with these city girls and their ridiculously southern clichés?

"That's not my name!" he exclaimed.

The saucy blonde swatted the air with her hand.

"I'm just gonna keep making it up til you tell me what it is. You know that right?"

He'd started to figure that out. So far his middle name had been Earl, Hank, Merle, Johnny; he was pretty sure they were just combing their way through classic country singers until they found one that fit. He was about to make the wittiest comeback of the century when he noticed her tensing up in her seat. That could only mean one thing. They were here.

Riley glanced up toward the bleachers just in time to meet the steel blue gaze of her best friend, a secret wish telepathically channeling between them, that somehow things could be the way they had been before. The brunette smiled and waved to her friend and instinctively Maya returned her smile and gesture…then she saw _him_ standing next to her.

The blonde's hand fell, as did her smile upon the sight of him. She'd spent the entire summer wondering what it might feel like to see Riley and Lucas again. That day she'd come through the window and seen them together her stomach had churned watching them stand there in all their adorable coupledom, and as much as she'd hated herself for it, she'd resented her friend for having something Maya never could. She had expected her heart to plummet when she saw him again, to be jealous that Riley was the one standing next to him. What she hadn't expected was to jealous that Lucas was the one standing next to Riley, when it was always supposed to be her.

Nothing was turning out the way she'd expected.

Zay nudged the golden haired beauty to his left, who seemed lost in another world at the moment. Her sapphire eyes turned to his, clouded by whatever trance she was currently in.

"Hey, you okay sugar?" he asked, genuinely concerned.

He didn't know exactly what it was she felt for his childhood friend, perhaps she didn't even know, but whatever those feelings were, whether they had a name or not, they were real. Real feelings could easily cause real pain, especially when watching the person you had those feelings for with another person, who wasn't you.

His words were like cold water, snapping her back to reality.

"I'm fine Zay," she insisted, though she knew it wasn't true.

"I'm fine."

She repeated it like a mantra; all day, every day, for the last however many years. She couldn't even remember that far back. It was one of those habits that she'd created to keep her sanity and her armor intact. She'd been saying the words so long that they didn't even sound like words anymore. Maya couldn't use them to convince the world. She couldn't even convince herself.

The truth was that she was nowhere near fine.

Riley and Lucas took their seats as the principal began his introductory speech. He spent the next fifteen minutes or so explaining how the remainder of the day would proceed. As he spoke of the classrooms they would visit and the rules and procedures they must memorize and adhere to, both freshman removed their itineraries from the packets and began to examine their schedules.

They had sat down at the library and filled out the paperwork with their preferred class list weeks ago. After a lengthy discussion Lucas had encouraged Riley to sign up for the honors classes that she was clearly eligible for. That had meant they wouldn't have many core classes together but they had coordinated electives.

As her brown eyes surveyed both of their papers she couldn't help but regret straying from the original curriculum. Partly because she wanted to stay with Lucas, but more than that she was afraid of failure. Honors credit meant harder classes. What if she wasn't smart enough? What if she failed? Never in her life had she even made a B, but that had been middle school. Even in the small pond she had only been a mediocre fish. What if here she was nothing more than a sardine or an anchovy? No one liked them.

She turned to look at her boyfriend, whose eyes were focused on his own schedule. Would he still love her a month from now? He would be in new classes, with new girls; fish with prettier scales and accomplishments to brag about. She'd almost lost him once already, to the coolest, most beautiful, amazon warrior in the world. Yet here she was, sitting next to him, holding his hand, being walked to school by him…did those kind of miracles happen twice? If someone better came along would he still choose her?

The bell rang and the students were dismissed to find their homerooms. Riley and Lucas clung to one another as they exited the gym and did their best to navigate the halls until their schedules led them to an intersection where they would be forced to go separate ways.

They stood frozen in the hallway, resting their foreheads against one another, their hands still linked. They both took a slow and steady breath, neither wanting to let go.

"Time to go meet the world," Riley breathed.

Lucas was the first one to look up, breaking their contact. He needed to look into her eyes and see all her faith and hope shining back at him. He needed her to make him brave enough to let go of her hand.

"We're ready for this?" he asked hesitantly.

She nodded with a slight smile as she looked down at their hands, drawing the same strength from him that he was seeking so desperately from her.

"We're ready," she said before planting a quick kiss on his lips and releasing his hands.

Maya sat down at an empty table waiting as the class began to fill in. Homeroom had been boring to say the least. She hadn't known anyone and the teacher had a monotone voice that was perfect for napping. Sadly, she wouldn't have many opportunities to be lulled to sleep since it was only a "special meetings" class, whatever that meant. There had been at least one or two students in her next two classes that she'd recognized but as she looked around at the people in front of her she didn't see anyone that she recognized.

A bald chubby man with glasses stood at the front of the class and began speaking.

"I am Mr. Simmons, and this is Physical Science 101, room R500. If that is not the class you are presently supposed to be in there's the door, fortunately for you we will not be counting you absent for being late today."

'Oh great, another sleep machine,' she thought to herself as she propped her head up on her elbow, for the slightest moment allowing herself to miss Huckleberry and the way he always caught her chin when she fell asleep. She hadn't had to hold her own head up a single day of eighth grade science thanks to him and his "always do the right thing" nature.

Mr. Simmons began to call roll as the last few stragglers entered the room.

"Casey Abbot?"

An overenthusiastic blonde in a pink sweater threw her hand up in the air.

"Present."

"Warren Babcock?"

A bulky looking jock type with dark hair leaned back in his chair, placing his hands behind his head.

"Sup, teach"

Mr. Simmons rolled his eyes and continued calling names. Maya began to doze, completely disinterested in who was who until four names down the list.

"Lucas Friar?"

It couldn't be. He couldn't be here, now, in this room with her. Was this punishment for missing the way he let her sleep in class?

Maya snapped her head to search the room, praying somehow it was all a mistake or misunderstanding, but sure enough standing right by the door was her best friend's boyfriend. She huffed in frustration as her blue eyes met his green ones. He didn't look any happier about their current predicament than he did.

Lucas raised his hand halfway to signal the teacher's attention.

"Here."

Mr. Simmons nodded in acknowledgement before continuing.

"Maya Hart?"

The flaxen haired girl at the table lifted her arm lazily in response.

"Yep, I'm here too."

And the universe hates me, she added miserably.

Okay so they were in the same class, it wasn't ideal, but it was tolerable. It wasn't like the year before where she kept falling asleep in his hand and leaving him to do all the work. They could be in the same room together without it being a big deal, couldn't they?

Mr. Simmons finished the list and then told everyone to stand up until they were given an assigned seat. Before they had even been addressed they both knew it was coming.

"Mr. Friar, Ms. Hart, say hello to your new partner for the year."

Lucas's jaw locked as his expression grew blank.

'So much for putting distance between us,' he thought as he glanced over at the girl sitting mere inches to his right, who wouldn't even return his gaze.

Two classes later Maya entered what she felt certain was going to be her favorite room in the entire building; the art classroom. After seeing Riley for the first time in three months and being forced to partner with the one person she'd prefer to never look at again she desperately needed a brush or a pencil in her hand. She needed a way to express all the things that she wouldn't permit herself to think or feel.

She needed to prove that professor wrong.

A middle aged woman with wild corkscrew curls began handing out the class syllabus.

"I am Ms. Corwin, and this is art," she stated dramatically.

"Now these are the rules the school insists that I give you but you'll find I'm very lenient with most of them. The handout says no food or drink, but I've never been a stickler for that rule. It's the end of the day. I know by then my tummy is rumbling. I'm sure yours is too. As long as your drinks are in a container with a lid and you clean up after yourselves I really don't care if you wanna snack."

A teacher who made her own rules, Maya was liking this class more and more by the second.

"Now this is an elective class so there will be students from other grades in here with you for the rest of the year. I also run the art club, which you are more than welcome to sign up for, as well as a proficient class which you will have the option of signing up for next year as sophomores, so keep that in mind."

Maya sat in front of her easel. The assignment was that there was no assignment. They were simply supposed to draw whatever moved them. There was just one problem, Maya had no inspiration. She'd been nervous, afraid, lonely, jealous, heart broken, and downright pissed off all in one day. There was no good reason why she couldn't hone in on one of those feelings and commit it to the blank page in front of her, but try as she might, nothing would come.

The final bell rang and Lucas hurried to the school steps where he and Riley had agreed to meet. To his surprise and delight, she was already standing there waiting for him. Without a word the blonde haired boy ran forward, pulling her into a firm but gentle embrace. She wrapped her arms around him, holding onto his shoulders as he held her close, breathing in the cranberry scent of her hair.

"Lucas, are you okay?" she implored as her brown eyes searched his green ones.

He knew that he couldn't put their conversation off any longer. Maya was his science partner now. They had no choice but to sit down and talk about what that meant. He looked into her coffee colored eyes filled with love and concern, wondering how he would tell her, and more importantly how would she react when he did.

"Is this about Maya?" she asked cautiously, though she had a feeling that she already knew the answer.

They had both been avoiding this subject all summer long, but summer was over. They had all made choices the last week of school and now it was time for them to finally reap the consequences.

His emerald eyes grew wide at her words. How could she possibly have known?

Riley seemed to sense the question he was too afraid to ask.

"I saw the two of you coming out of the same classroom earlier, when I was hopelessly lost in the halls. Neither of you looked very happy."

The boy nodded in acknowledgement, fearing the questions that had most likely been running through her mind the remainder of the day. He tilted his head to meet her gaze, which she seemed to be avoiding. He needed to make her understand. He just didn't know how.

"Riles, I- "he began but the brunette placed her hand over his mouth, urging him to stop talking. She had a feeling that she knew what he was going to say and she honestly didn't want to hear it.

Riley brushed a strand of her long brown hair behind her ear and sucked in her lower lip as she contemplated her own words. She had spent the last two hours thinking about this, how he might feel, what she should do. After two hours of agonizing she had finally come to a conclusion. There was only one thing she could possibly say under the circumstances.

"It's okay. It's okay if you still think about her. It's okay if seeing her again was hard for you."

He had stood there bracing himself for the worst, expecting her to push him away just as she had done that night in Texas and try to send him to Maya. That was exactly why he had never told her, but she knew, somehow she had put the pieces together all on her own. She was a very smart girl, but the last time she had made assumptions she'd put the pieces together incorrectly. She'd formed the wrong picture in her mind and it had nearly cost both of them everything.

"Riley, whatever you're thinking- "but again she silenced him.

She took a deep breath, gathering every ounce of strength she possessed. That's what it was going to take for her to make it through this conversation in one piece.

"You made a choice, Lucas. You chose me and I love you for that, but…just because you made a decision, it doesn't mean that those other feelings just go away."

If anyone should understand that it should be her. She had made the decision to give Lucas up but never once had that stopped her heart from wanting what she'd forbidden herself to have. As much as she hated the idea of him wanting someone other than her, there was a choice and it could have gone either way. There would never have been a choice unless he had felt something for Maya.

She could see the fear in his eyes. He thought that she was saying goodbye, that she was walking away, but she couldn't do that again. She had barely survived it the first time. If he wanted to go she wouldn't hold onto him, but she wasn't letting go again unless he asked her to.

Riley reached down taking his hands in hers.

"I believe you when you say you love me. You wouldn't say it if you didn't mean it…but I also know that you were her friend and you cared about her…so it's okay if you still think about her or you miss her. I understand that it's going to take time. I just don't want you to regret the choice you made…"

Lucas lifted her hands to his mouth and kissed them, waiting for her raise her head so that she could see how much he meant the words he was about to say. Seconds ticked by before her brown orbs met his green ones.

"I will admit seeing her was hard, I'm pretty sure she hates me and I can't blame her for that…but I love you, nothing is going to change that. Okay?"

She nodded somberly.

"I hate that you're hurting," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

Lucas wrapped his arm around his girlfriend and began leading her down the street toward the subway.

"If you really wanna make me feel better you could come over and watch some cuddle bunnies with me?" he whispered against her ear.

Riley beamed up at him in response.

"I think I can manage that."


	12. 11- Enter the Opposition

**First and foremost I just want to thank all of your for your patience and support! I am truly flattered that so many of you have taken an interest in this slightly unconventional tale ;)**

 **I apologize for the delay, it's been a crazy time but I'm actually back to writing daily so updates should be coming much more quickly now. I am very excited to get started since we have barely scratched the surface of these two verses. Thank you again so much! I honestly can't ever say that enough! It means everything to me to know that you guys are just as invested in this journey as I am! You're amazing and you make all the craziness worth it. Muah!**

The sun had barely started to creep up into the sky when Lucas's feet hit the city pavement. He strode briskly down the sidewalk, determination etched in his every feature. If he allowed himself to think too much about what he was doing and where he was headed, he might talk himself right out of it and he needed to do this. Any other morning, he would still be sleeping, but after several hours of tossing and turning he had given up on that endeavor. He had laid awake most of the night ruminating on Riley's letter, the one she had written after their first real conversation. It seemed another lifetime ago now, but he still remembered it as if it had happened the day before. He remembered her telling him about her hamster, the look on her face as he'd told her about his horses and the experience that had changed his life. Mostly he remembered the way she'd leaned her cheek against her hand as she'd asked him to keep talking.

They barely knew one another at the time, but she had wanted to know everything and he'd found himself wanting to share with her. He too had gone home that night feeling something had changed between them. He had felt all those same things that she was describing, but like her, he'd never been able to say them.

He still couldn't, but it was no longer nerves or inexperience holding him back.

It was something else.

Someone else.

Lucas cared for Maya. He would never hurt her or be unfaithful, nor would he ever hurt Riley that way. Most importantly, he would never do anything to jeopardize the sacred bond between the two. Despite her bizarre fit of jealousy, the day before, the one thing he did know for sure about his girlfriend was that she loved Riley Mathews with every fiber of her being and the last thing she wanted was to lose her best friend.

Lucas didn't want to lose his either.

For three long months they had gone without so much as a word between them. As painful as the lack of contact had been he had told himself that by the time school rolled around things would be better; that Riley would be herself again and he would have learned enough about Maya to have feelings for her exclusively and most importantly that once these two things had happened the group of friends would find their way back together.

Instead Riley had come back from Philadelphia a completely different person, Maya had become inappropriately territorial, both girls were still evoking different yet non platonic emotions from him and Farkle still hadn't spoken to him since that day he'd punched Lucas in the face. He had no common classes with Farkle or Riley and the group had basically disbanded. This left him no choice but to seek them out in order to make things right.

He'd spent several months doing his best to be okay with everything that happened, trying to respect her wishes but the space and the silence was taking its toll. The last time he felt this way he had waited too long and everything had changed.

He had to see her, to talk to her before it was too late.

Though it had been months since he'd had a reason to climb the Mathews' fire escape he still found his way there effortlessly, without thought. As he traveled up the steps his mind began to think of all the times that he had done this before, of their endless discussions on everything from cuddle bunnies to life philosophies. He missed being able to talk with her. He had tried talking with Maya but it wasn't quite the same. Even after months of dating, rare was the occasion when they had a real conversation and when they did, the moment was brief and left him feelings as though something was always missing.

Riley was standing at her bathroom sink brushing her teeth when he climbed the final step and caught his first glance of her in the morning. He'd never seen her like this before; still in her purple and pink striped pajamas with a white tank top and her hair piled messily on top of her head. She probably had no idea how beautiful she looked in that moment but he knew. Instantly he regretted his thought. It wasn't a feeling or even his opinion. It was an indisputable fact that the girl was gorgeous, but he still felt guilty for allowing himself to think it.

Lucas tapped lightly on the window, hoping to be just loud enough to get her attention and no one else's. He didn't know if Mr. Mathews would still chase him out and take one of his shoes but given their new situation he would rather not find out. If Mr. Mathews did steal his shoe, Maya might misinterpret the situation and if he didn't…then he'd just have one more reminder of how nothing was the same. Either way he would lose more than a shoe.

The brunette was still half asleep as she turned her gaze to the window. For a moment she had thought that maybe Maya had come as she had every morning before, but then she remembered the way her best friend had looked at her in that hallway and shrugged the idea away. Perhaps Farkle had come to check on her? He'd been doing that a lot via text message over the summer but even he had never come this early before. Her mouth fell open nearly dropping the toothbrush her inner cheek had been housing as her eyes met the soft green orbs of her best friend's boyfriend.

She tiptoed quietly to the window, occasionally glancing back at the closed bedroom door to make sure her father didn't burst through. His eyes never left hers as she unlocked the window and pulled the frame up, but refused him access to her room.

"Lucas we've talked about this," she sighed.

How could she maintain her distance if he kept sneaking over to her apartment this way?

His eyes finally tore from hers as he lowered his gaze to the seat of the bay window.

"I know…"

Riley brushed her hair from the left side of her face with her right hand. He'd never seen her do that before. It was just one more thing that had changed since the last time he'd stood at that window.

"Then what are you doing here?" she inquired.

All they had done was say hi the day before and Maya had disapproved. What would she say if she knew he was there right now? Lucas had never struck her as the type of guy to be so inconsiderate, especially to someone he cared for, so why was he putting the two of them in this position by continuously demanding these stolen moments that weren't allowed to mean anything anymore?

"I uh, I just wanted to say thank you," he mumbled.

There was more that he wanted to say he just didn't know how to do so without potentially crossing some imaginary line that he didn't understand. Riley had wanted boundaries and so far she'd done everything in her power to enforce them. Lucas, however, was still struggling to understand the line between their friendship and their unofficial relationship.

"Thank me?" her head tilted at an angle as she parroted his response in question form.

He smiled at the familiarity of her current positioning. Some things may be different but others were still the same.

"For the letter. I got it last night and I wanted to thank you but we don't have any classes together and I wasn't sure when I'd see you again so, here I am…thanking you." He explained in a rather graceless manner.

She nodded in understanding, both relief and disappointment flooding her senses simultaneously. She was grateful that he was there only as a formality because it meant that he was still the guy that she had always believed him to be. However, that same fact also hurt a little bit. It was proof of just how far away they had drifted from one another in such a short period of time.

"You don't have to thank me Lucas. We made an agreement. I'm simply holding up my end of the bargain."

He cringed internally at the professional tone of her voice, as if he were some random guy off the street and not the first boy she had ever liked or at the very least her good friend.

They were still friends, weren't they?

"Well it's not like you're getting anything out of it," he reasoned.

She was doing him a favor and asking for nothing in return. That was not business. That was something else, something far more personal.

"Sure I am," she disputed. "Every letter I give to you is one less in the box."

Someday the box would be empty and she would have no need for it. That was what he was giving her in return; the gift of closure and a closet that wasn't haunted with words she'd never had the courage to share. In his own unique way, he was emboldening her.

"You're different," It was a thought; one that wasn't supposed to be verbalized but his filter was on the fritz again and it had just come tumbling out his mouth.

Her lips curled into a slight smirk, one more akin to memories of his girlfriend rather than the girl in front of him.

"That's kind of the idea," she said in a teasing tone though there was truth behind her words.

Lucas nodded wordlessly unable to think of an appropriate response.

"I should probably go so you can finish getting ready." He still had to walk back to his stop in time for his usual ride to school. He turned to leave but he couldn't go without saying one last thing.

"Whoever you decide to be, I'm sure she will be amazing…but I hope you don't change too much…I'd miss you."

If she changed too much they all might lose her, assuming they hadn't already.

Had he been able to face her as he spoke those words he would have seen her expression soften or her wordless nod, but he was already climbing down the ladder when she breathed the words "I'd miss you too."

Neither of them were the same people they had once been. The young girl that had written those words wasn't the same young woman who had mailed them to him. She'd had absolute faith in him; the girl in that library. Unfortunately, the boy who had sat with her at that table had secretly been wishing she was someone else the entire time.

If only she could shed those thoughts and feelings as easily as she had her former identity, she thought to herself as she continued her morning rituals.

She'd told herself that it was a new school and a new chapter in their lives, that she didn't have to be poor, clueless, Riley the super klutz anymore; she could be anyone that she dared to be. For a moment it had actually seemed possible too. Almost none of her classmates knew her or what she had been before, but then she had walked right into Lucas and suddenly she was the same as she had always been; completely helpless beneath his gaze. She had wanted to run and hide, even before Maya had appeared and began making comments about the changes she had made…comments that made her feel small and something else she couldn't quite name. Whatever it was, she didn't like the feeling.

As she had gone on about how "hot" Riley looked and how all the boys would be chasing her she'd made the insecure brunette feel as if she had done something dirty or wrong. The words of her best friend had implied that she was desperately seeking male attention or that she had altered her appearance in order to compete with Maya herself in hopes of luring her boyfriend away. Riley hadn't changed herself for Lucas or any other boy. She had done it for herself, to separate the young woman she was becoming from the child she had previously been. It wasn't dirty, it was necessary.

She couldn't say that she hadn't noticed a different energy around her since she had returned and she wasn't naïve enough to believe her appearance had nothing to do with it. People were looking at her, and not in their usual gawking or pitying way that she had grown accustom to. They were noticing her. Was it really so wrong to want to be seen?

The blonde had made her feel like a phony, as if she were only pretending to be different, and if she was being honest with herself maybe that was true. Maybe she wasn't a completely different person from the one she had been. That kind of metamorphosis took time. One thing she knew for sure though, she wasn't exactly the same either. Something inside her felt different. A piece of her had been twisting and twisting for far longer than she cared to admit and when she had walked in on her best friend and her first love in the middle of a passionate lip lock, that something had simply snapped.

The young woman examined her reflection as she did every morning before walking out the door. She'd opted for a burgundy blouse that cut low enough to show off the charms of her necklace, some ripped skinny jeans, and strappy black sandals. Her chocolate tresses hung just below her shoulders with curls at the ends.

She was still Riley.

She was just Riley with shorter hair, a different style of clothing, and an inexplicable piece of her missing.

The brunette secured the window before slinging her bag over her shoulder and heading downstairs for breakfast where Auggie and Ava were already sitting at the kitchen table and her mother was nursing her morning coffee.

The young boy threw his hands up in the air dramatically as he spoke to his wife of fifty-two years.

"Second grade is hard! Did you know they took naptime away," he asked turning his gaze to his mother, "AND they replaced our cookies with carrot sticks! I'm not a rabbit!"

The blonde haired little girl sitting across from him at the table huffed in response and rolled her eyes, clearly not impressed with her husband's troubles.

"You think that's bad?" she demanded in her effort to one up his misfortune. "At least they didn't move you to a whole new class with whole new students who have no idea how fabulous I am!" she complained before gesturing to herself with her hands. "I mean, hello, I'm Ava Morganstern!" she declared as if it were supposed to mean something of great significance.

Auggie's head shot up with puppy dog eyes at the girl he'd made his wife at the tender age of five.

"Hey!" he objected, clearly wounded.

Ava stared at him blankly a moment before realizing what he was "heying" her about.

"Oh, right. Ava Morganstern-Mathews," she corrected, humoring the boy who had promised to try not to make feel bad almost a year ago.

This time it was Topanga who objected.

"Hey!"

"Oh, hi Topie," the little girl said as she dismissed the woman with a wave of her hand as she had witnessed her mother do to several women over the years. "So now I have to think of some way to make these new kids realize I'm their queen."

"Good morning," Riley chirped as she made her way over to the cabinet where the bagels and toaster were located.

Ava glanced up at the sound of the brunette's heels clickety clacking against the floor and her jaw instantly slacked in shock. Up until that morning the young girl had always thought of Auggie's older sister as a modern day hippie with her long hair and longer dresses. She didn't actually know what that meant but judging by the way her parents had spat the word she assumed whatever it was, it was something that she never wanted to be. Apparently the girl with the unfortunate resemblance to the women in those pictures had come to the same conclusion and decided to do something about. She eyed the girl from head to toe before landing her gaze on the strappy sandals that had caught her attention in the first place.

"Give me your shoes," she insisted without so much as a greeting.

Riley's brows knit in confusion and her head tilted to the side out of habit.

"Excuse me?" she asked, a slight giggle in her voice.

The young fashionista made a face that expressed her frustration at people no longer just giving her whatever she wanted before trying again.

"I said those are very nice shoes. You should give them to me," she corrected.

Now both Auggie and sister wore the same mask of questioning.

Riley just nodded with an awkward smile as she removed her bagel from the toaster and applied the cream cheese over the surface.

"And why would I do that?" she asked curiously.

The blonde stood ready to make her case.

"So that I can make all the kids in my new class look up to me," both Riley and her mother's expressions began to soften until the little girl continued her explanation. "Seriously, with those babies they will have no choice but to look up to me, actually look up to me. And I'll be the only one who can reach the top shelves. I'll be queen in no time. Now give me the shoes," she said reaching out her hand as if she honestly expected Riley to remove them from her feet and hand them to her.

The old Riley might have been moved by Ava's desire to be queen and done just that. After all, it wasn't that long ago her biggest ambition in life was to become a princess. There was a certain kindred spirit in their desires and though their reasons might be different, Riley could never fault the little girl for her attitude or demanding nature. She was only being who her parents had raised her to be.

Topanga glanced over at the clock before shifting her gaze back to her daughter.

"You better get going if you want to make it out of here in time," she reminded gently.

Once again Auggie was perplexed.

"What are you talking about? She doesn't have to be there until eight. There's plenty of time," he stated in an obvious manner.

Riley scarfed down the last bite of her bagel and retrieved her bag from the floor. She ruffled her brother's hair as she passed by the table.

"Not if I don't want dad to see me,' she explained just as Cory began walking down the stairs, still buttoning his shirt as he walked.

"Not if you don't want dad to see whaaaa- "as he took in the appearance of his little girl he suddenly lost the ability to form words. Instead he began shaking his head violently back and forth, refusing the accept the sight before him.

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no!" he shouted as he wagged his disapproving finger.

"Get back upstairs and come down in something more appropriate," he demanded sternly before his tone shifted into his overenthusiastic salesman voice. "How about a nice bourka?" he suggested, "or one of those dresses with the interesting hats that the nuns wear? I hear they're all the rage in high school," he lied, desperate to keep her from walking out of the house in her current ensemble.

"Cory! Our daughter is not going to school in a habit," Topanga said, stepping in to defend her daughter's right to grow up.

"Okay," he conceded momentarily, "then how about a nice poncho to cover up all of that," he said gesturing to her newly embraced figure.

His wife glared at him as she crossed her arms over her chest, displeased with his response. She understood that he wanted Riley to stay a little girl. Deep down she wanted that too, but realistically she knew that wasn't possible. Riley was going to grow up with or without their consent. Just once, she wished her husband would face the inevitable truth like a grown up instead of a crazy person…but then he wouldn't be the man she loved.

"Cory, your daughter looks very nice and what she's wearing in in no way inappropriate," she stated in a tone that suggested she planned this to be the final word on the subject. However, Cory still had many more words to express his own opinion on the situation.

Riley watched as both her parents geared up to defend their positions. "As much as I would love to stay here and listen to you two debate this, I really have to get to school," that wasn't exactly true. She had time. She just desperately wanted out of that apartment.

"Okay sweetie, have a great day," her mother said giving her shoulders a squeeze.

Riley turned timidly to her father. This was why she had avoided him since her return. Though she wasn't the same little girl who had left the city, and she knew it would never happen, she'd been greatly hoping that somehow her father could understand and approve of her decision to move forward.

"I'll see you after school daddy," she all but whispered with a weak smile before walking out the door, resuming the argument between husband and wife.

"How could you let her out of the house like that?!" he shouted in disbelief.

Couldn't his wife see what was happening to their daughter? Didn't she remember what came next?

"Like what, Cory? Everything she was wearing fit the school's dress code and she's covering everything that needs to be covered. She's not dressing any less modestly than I did when we were kids," she explained calmly and logically.

Technically what she said was true, but the memory of his own teenage thoughts and feelings only amplified his concern.

"Curves, Topanga! She has curves!" he shouted, his frustration growing when his wife laughed at him.

"Cory, honey, she's had those for a while now," she rationalized as she attempted to stifle her giggle.

He had the strangest thoughts as he stood there, wondering how his wife could be laughing when the sky was literally falling down around them. Their little girl had just had her heart broken. She was hurt and vulnerable and now she had unwittingly made herself a target for lusty teenage boys. Nothing about this scenario seemed funny to him. He was chicken little trying to warn her but she didn't seem to understand.

"But now she's showcasing them! And if I can see them, then so can boys, and do you know what boys think when they see curves Topanga? Do you?! They think SEX! Topanga! They look at our precious baby girl and they think SEX!" he elaborated frantically before storming toward the front door.

Topanga's features all formed the same question that was coming off her lips.

"Cory Mathews, where are you going?"

He stood frozen with his hand on the doorknob.

"I'm going to Philadelphia. First, I'm going to find whoever bought her those new clothes and yell at them, a lot, and then I'm going to my father's wilderness supply store because I apparently am now in need of a gun to ward off boys with bad intentions. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go call in sick from school," he announced in an exaggerated soliloquy that could have rivaled Hamlet's "to be or not to be," before making a dramatic exit.

Topanga watched the door expectantly a moment or two before he poked his head back in and reached for the briefcase he had left sitting by the door.

"I'll just take this," he said before disappearing a second time.

All she could now was shrug her shoulders and laugh at his crazy antics.

Maya awoke early as she had always done and began going through the motions of her former routine. As she showered, dressed, and prepared for the day she did her best to push all thoughts of the day before from her mind, knowing that once those tasks were complete she would be left to ponder the same question for the second morning in a row.

Growing up, the only certainties that she'd had to rely on were her father's absence, her mother's good morning letter always left on the fridge, and the knowledge that hope was for suckers. At least those were the certainties that she had always managed to focus on. It wasn't until three months prior when her entire world had turned upside down that she had begun to realize the constants in her life that she had taken for granted. It wasn't until the day before that she realized those bridges were in danger of being lost permanently.

The brazen blonde had never minded change, at least that's what she had spent the majority of her life telling herself. It was the same lie that she had somehow managed to convince the rest of the world into believing. She was Maya Hart: amazon warrior, strong and fearless. Only one person knew any different, the girl in the window. Whenever something hurt her or she felt as though the world was leaving her behind, it was the girl in the window she had run to, cried to. It was the girl in the window that had brushed away her tears and helped her raise her head again.

She missed the window.

It was one of those certainties that she had failed to appreciate.

It had been their special place, their safe place, the place where they figured out their most important stuff. The world had always been a big and overwhelming place filled with confusing feelings and scary concepts, but they had always faced it together. The world had never been scarier or more uncertain than it was now. There was so much to figure it out and so much at stake. The previous school year had ended in such a mess and Riley had run away before anything could be resolved between them.

Farkle had tried to fix things by revealing Riley's true feelings that night on the roof. Lucas had tried when he had stood in the Mathews' apartment and made a choice. Both their attempts had only made the situation worse. Maya wanted to fix it, she just didn't know how. Fearing the risk of adding to the damage already done, she'd chosen to do the only thing she knew to do in a situation like this; wait for Riley to come home.

It had been extremely difficult living without her sister after spending half their life at one another's sides, but she had done it. Having Lucas and their murky new relationship had helped distract her during the day, but at night she would lay awake thinking of the summers she had spent giggling and playing with her sweet, weird, little goofball and replaying their last conversation in her mind.

She'd promised to let Maya go, but Maya didn't want to be let go of. That's why she had gone to the window. She was in pain and afraid of being left behind and so she had gone to the window as she had always done, but the girl in the window hadn't been there.

As her baby blues skimmed the contents of her mother's handwritten note it dawned on her that there were no more motions to go through, save one, bringing her back to the question she'd been avoiding since she'd woken up.

Should she go to the window?

She honestly didn't know. All she had wanted the day before was to begin this new chapter in their lives with Riley by her side. She still wanted that, though no one who had witnessed their first encounter in the last three months would know it by the way she had reacted. The petite blonde had wandered the halls and searched every classroom hoping to see her lifelong friend. She'd imagined it playing out so much differently in her mind. She had imagined seeing Riley across a crowded room and running up to hug her as they each apologized for letting things get so messy between them and promising it would be the two of them forever.

None of those things had happened though.

Instead she had become someone else in that moment; someone she didn't like. Someone she seemed to have no control over. The things that she had said and done that day she still couldn't believe. Even now, thinking back on her behavior was enough to make her cringe. Anyone who had been standing in that hallway would have easily come to the conclusion that she had attacked her childhood best friend out of insecurity, and why wouldn't they? She had acted every bit the stereotypical jealous girlfriend with all the fake smiling and hand holding and nauseating nicknames. Worse was the way she had treated her friend, deliberately trying to poke holes in her confidence, when she knew how little the girl actually possessed.

From the outside it could appear that way. From the outside it was nothing more than a case of territorial aggression, but in Maya's defense she hadn't been the only unrecognizable one standing in that hallway. Anyone who knew the whole story knew it was far more complicated than it appeared because the girl in the hallway was Riley, and Riley was the girl in the window…but the girl in the hallway wasn't the girl in the window. The girl in the hallway was nothing more than a stranger wearing her best friend's face, a stranger who had locked the window.

This wasn't what was supposed to happen. It was supposed to be the two of them forever. Riley had stood at that campfire and promised that no matter what happened between her and Huckleberry they would always be a duet; a two girl show. Was that promise suddenly null and void because Farkle had revealed that Riley had lied about her feelings or because Lucas had made a choice?

Farkle and Lucas both seemed to believe so. For two boys who had both claimed to care about her best friend at one point or another they had given up on her rather quickly. All of their friends had. In their eyes the girl in the window was gone. Maya, on the other hand, refused to believe that, nor could she understand why everyone else seemed to.

Riley had done this before. Whenever life hadn't lived up to her expectations she would occasionally take on an alternative personality; complete with matching clothing and questionable hair choices, but once the danger had passed she always came back. The girl in the hallway wasn't her Riley. She wasn't even a real person. She was nothing but a protective shell to shield her Riley from life's latest disappointment. As much as she hated herself for the things she had said she was also grateful for the incident because it had confirmed what Maya already knew and the other's couldn't see; The real Riley was still in there somewhere, just waiting to be coaxed out.

She wouldn't go to the window today. She would wait for Riley to come back. She was Maya's safe place, her best friend, her tether to the line between too far and just enough. Maya couldn't do this life thing without her and she didn't want to, so she wouldn't go to the window this morning. She would wait for the girl in the window to return.

This decision raised an entirely new question: where did Lucas fit into this equation? Over the course of their three months together they had agreed on certain codes of conduct. They would not arrive at school together, because she had hoped to be continuing her tradition of riding with Riley. There would be no hand holding because no matter how many times they tried it or how much time passed it always felt awkward and uncomfortable. There would be no pet names because, well they were sappy and disgusting.

In one day she had managed to break every single one of those rules and to cover for her inappropriate out of body experience in the hall, she had insisted they establish themselves publicly as a couple, further complicating their already rather complicated relationship. Once again she had acted without thinking anything through and now, once again, she had no idea what she should expect to come out of it.

Even though the day before was supposed to be a precursor of things to come, having upper classmen around changed everything for the freshmen. The hallways were more crowded, the seats that had been empty in their classrooms previously were now filled with even more students none of them knew or even recognized; everywhere they looked there seemed to be someone bigger, stronger, and more experienced surrounding them. With the clique six split into two different academic pathways the only time their schedules all converged was at lunchtime. The small group of friends sat together as they always had, but even that was not the same. They sat awkwardly and eventually silently as Maya watched her best friend with alarming intensity while Lucas couldn't even bring himself to even look at her after their early morning chat. Zay, Farkle, and Isadora merely observed, each with their own feelings and concerns brewing internally.

Finally, the last class of the day had come. Riley just had to make it through her English class and then she wouldn't have to see anyone again until tomorrow unless she wanted to. As she turned the corner into the hallway she felt herself collide with another student. The brunette tossed her head back, eyes closed, as she cursed her very existence. Why did this keep happening to her? The body against hers was obviously that of a boy; a tall, muscular boy.

'Please don't be Lucas, please don't be Lucas, please don't be Lucas," she repeated in her head as she opened her eyes, raking them over her latest hallway traffic victim. As her brown orbs met his hazel gaze and dazzling smile, she felt a familiar stirring of her insides; a bashful nervousness overtook her as she returned his smile with one of her own. Whoever this boy in front of her was, he was many things, but he definitely wasn't Lucas Friar, who was standing motionless with wide eyes from the opposite corner of the hall.

* * *

Once again Maya stood overwhelmed as she scanned the endless sea of freshmen for a familiar face. Since going over to the Mathews' apartment was no longer part of her daily routine she had been meeting Zay in the gymnasium first thing in the mornings instead. Five rows from the top she spotted him at the end of the bleachers. True to his word, Zay had distanced himself from his childhood best friend and their group of mutual friends in order to remain purely on Maya's side. Throughout the summer he had become her sounding board and occasionally her partner in crime and both were grateful to be closer, but with school resuming both had slowly begun to miss the people they had chosen to separate themselves from. Carefully she climbed the steps, secretly thankful for not having to squeeze through the other students to find her seat next to him. He threw up his hand in greeting as she plopped down on the very end of the row.

"Morning Sugar!" He exclaimed as she squirmed, attempting to situate herself without falling off the edge.

"This is just like those corny hallmark movies "she who must not be named" always used to make me watch. You know, the ones where you keep living the same horrible day over and over again until you get it right? That's what this is like, like living yesterday over, but this time with even more people to make us feel crappy about our own insecurities," the blonde ranted in an animated manner.

He ran his hands over the legs of his jeans, "well good morning to you too, Miss Hart." He muttered under his breath but the petite blonde hadn't heard a word of it.

"And the worst part is that we have to relive this one crappy experience every single day until the end of the year when we graduate," she elaborated as Zay collapsed into a fit of chortles.

"High school is four years long, darlin' not one," Her eyebrows shot up as her jaw traveled in the opposite direction; her feminine features the perfect mask of shock and horror.

"This thing lasts FOUR YEARS?!" She shouted causing the students sitting in front of them to turn and stare at her strangely. She responded by narrowing her eyes threateningly, "what are you staring at," she spat. The students turned around uncertain what to think while the boy sitting next to her just shook his head.

"Would it kill you to be nice?" He teased. Unfortunately, Maya wasn't in the mood. "Probably, besides I'm not the nice one that was...she who must not be named," she finished dejectedly.

The boy grabbed the edges of his flannel shirt and tugged on them as he puffed up like a peacock displaying its plumage. "You know sugar, I'm a great best friend, but even I'm no substitute for the original sunshine girl," he stated boldly, instantly feeling the chill of her steel blue glare in response. Releasing the ends of his shirt, he finally said the words he'd been fighting the urge to say all summer long.

"Look, for a girl you call "she who must not be named" she gets mentioned an awful lot. It's obvious you miss her. That's all I'm saying."

He was right, Maya did miss her, more than words could possibly express...but she couldn't go to her; not now, like this, so instead of admitting that he was right she did what a bad influence would do best. She lied.

"No, you're wrong. I might bring her up every once in a while but it's not because I miss her. It's just something I do out of habit, that's all. We did everything together, for years. I'd wake up early and go to her house before school, we'd spend all day together in class, and then I'd go home with her when it was over, but that's over. Now she walks to school with "he who must not be named" and I sleep in every morning. Which is great because it turns out that I like sleeping in." Zay sat silently examining her with skepticism. He'd seen how close the girls were when he had first arrived and he knew how much they meant to one another. Even if he hadn't he would still know better. Riley was to Maya what Lucas was to him. He wanted to keep his promise and continue to be there for the blonde beauty...but he also wanted to spend some time with his buddy again.

"I don't get you Maya. You and..."she who must not be named", he felt so silly for calling Riley by that label, "were as close as two people can be. You were like biscuit and gravy," made to go together. You're really gonna stop being her friend over a decision "he who must not be named" made?"

Maya was having a difficult time understanding herself as well. There was no denying that she had felt something more than friendly toward the boy who was now dating her best friend. She'd wanted him to make a choice and she had wanted to be chosen, and though she'd never actually expected to be it still hurt her more than she'd thought possible to hear him say that Riley was his choice. It had hurt to hear the words and to see the two of them together, but she had wanted him and he had rejected her. Naturally she attributed the pain to those feelings. It hadn't occurred to her to look beyond the surface. That had always been the role of Riley or Farkle, but now neither were here to force her into doing so.

Was this still about Lucas? Partially. Though she had made her peace with the fact that they would never be more than friends, and even managed to be happy for the two of them, it still hurt to see them together. She had vacated her post of "best friend" and he had stepped right in to fill her shoes. Maya didn't blame Lucas for that; on the contrary, she was happy to know that Riley hadn't been left to sit prim and proper with her hands folded neatly in her lap for eternity. She was happy to know that even if Riley never made an active choice again at least she would have someone to sit beside her on the sidelines of life. But for some reason she couldn't understand all that happiness left a bitter taste in her mouth.

Unwilling to relent, she simply shrugged apathetically with her best "devil may care" smirk.

"It's fine, better than fine. Riley has Lucas, Lucas has Riley, and we," she said gesturing to the gap between the two of them, little though it may be, "finally have best friends who aren't nearly as much work,"

It wasn't lost on Zay that this was the first time she had spoken either of their names in the last three months, nor was it unnoticed that she clearly had no intention of continuing the conversation on its current subject. He knew if he called her bluff she would simply shut down on him, so instead he returned her smirk with a grin of his own and leaned in as if he were about to share a secret.

"You come with your fair share of heavy lifting too, ya know?" he replied, wagging his eyebrows for effect.

Maya reached out and smacked him playfully before kinking her own eyebrow.

"Guess it's a good thing you spend all day lifting beautiful girls then, huh?"

Riley sat in front of her mirror playing with her hair. First she brushed it all back into a high ponytail, but after turning to examine her reflection released her hold allowing her chestnut curls to fall. She then picked them up and piled them messily on top of her head, studying her mirror from each angle.

"Are you going to wear your hair like that?" she heard her boyfriend's voice ask as he climbed through her window.

The brunette innocently tilted her head as she continued to ponder her hairstyle for the day.

"I was thinking about it. Why? Do you think I shouldn't?"

She felt silly asking Lucas how she should wear her hair. She was a feminist, the girl who had refused to drop the marble. But she was also the girl that wanted to make him happy, and in this case, the girl who couldn't make up her own mind. She wouldn't base her decision on his preference but it couldn't hurt to have a second opinion could it? If Maya were there she would have asked her. Surely, it wasn't that different.

Lucas beamed as he crossed the room over to stand next to her, fingering the few loose strands that had fallen at the back of her neck. A small lump seemed to be forming in the back of his throat as a strange sensation began to overpower him. There was something about her naked neck and those few tendrils between his fingers that was doing something to him he couldn't quite explain even if he wanted to. Riley looked up at him with those big brown eyes and that nameless feeling only intensified.

"No, uh, I um, I really like it." He stuttered, his voice sounding foreign to them both.

She nodded slowly, a slight smile on the curve of her lips.

"Are you okay?" she whispered.

Truthfully, in that moment, Lucas wasn't sure what or where he was. All he knew was the curve of her neck, the silk of her hair, and the rhythm of her breathing. He and Riley had shared many moments; moments where she had stolen his breath and made his heart skip a beat, moments when she had touched his soul and lit him up from within, but this was a new moment, a different feeling. It was warm and gentle; like summer rain, but it was also something else, something that hadn't been there before and he wondered if she could feel it too.

The concern in her voice pulled him out of the haze and back into her bedroom, though that feeling was still very much present.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm great it's just…I really want to kiss you right now."

Her features illuminated at his confession.

"Well you are my boyfriend,' she replied with her hands clasped, swinging from side to side like a shy little girl.

Lucas nodded with a chuckle, "that's right I am."

"And it's not like we've never kissed before,' she added with a smile.

Again he nodded, grinning shamelessly as he reached out and took her hands into his own.

"No, it is not," he confirmed lightheartedly.

Riley laced their fingers together leaning in closer to whisper.

"So why aren't you kissing me?" she inquired innocently with a tilt of her head in that adorable manner he loved so.

His green eyes traveled down to the floor, her heart pausing at his hesitation.

"I want to kiss you…I'm just not sure if I should,"

Her heart immediately began to deflate at his words as if it were a balloon gradually releasing the air that sustains it.

"Oh."

Though she begged her mind not to jump to conclusions it automatically leapt to their conversation the day before when she had realized Lucas had class with Maya. She was trying to be mature about the situation. She was trying to understand and she'd honestly thought that things were going to be okay, but now she was beginning to wonder if maybe she shouldn't have been so quick to give him permission to think about her best friend and miss her despite his decision.

Lucas tightened his grip on her hands, knowing that she was most likely fearing the worst. She probably thought that he was trying to find a way to let her down easily but that wasn't it. Quite the opposite. He didn't want to let her go. Right now all he wanted was to pull her closer than he ever had and he couldn't explain the how or why of it he just needed to. But each time he tried to pull her closer she always resisted whether it be physical or emotional. She was never ready. Whatever he was feeling he didn't want to find out that he was in it alone.

"It's not what you're thinking," he assured her but the look in her eyes told him that she wasn't sure she believed him just yet.

"How do you know what I'm thinking?" she challenged.

How could he not, was the better question?

"Because I know you and I know that you worry about me changing my mind but that's not going to happen. I made my choice and I'm very happy with where I am and who I'm with." He explained, doing his best to emphasize his certainty.

She glanced down at their shoes, afraid to look him in the eye.

"Then why don't you think you should kiss me?" she implored needing to understand.

Lucas sighed as he attempted to find the right words to describe his current predicament.

"Because of how I want to kiss you," he revealed.

Riley's brows wrinkled in confusion.

"I don't understand."

How could he put in in words that would make sense to her? They really didn't even make sense to him.

"Riley, I don't want to kiss you. I need to, like, standing here not being able to is kind of driving me crazy right now."

The brunette looked confused again.

"Oh."

"I mean I've always wanted to, but this is like being hungry or exhausted, it's like if I don't do it I'm going to explode or something."

Her doe eyes grew wide and he instantly wished he could take the words back.

He'd asked for too much. He'd frightened her away.

"Riley I'm sorry, it was stupid and I don't know where it came from. Please just forget I said- "She hushed him as she placed her index finger over his mouth.

"Maybe you should just shut up and kiss me before you explode," she suggested.

She wasn't sure what was going on with Lucas but she was genuinely concerned for his well-being and if kissing her would make him feel better, then she'd be happy to do comply. It really wasn't a noble sacrifice though since she wanted to kiss him too. Without another word his lips were on hers. Lucas had never kissed her like this before. Riley hadn't understood what he had meant when he'd said that he needed to kiss her, but the moment his mouth overtook hers she began to understand. She could feel the urgency on his lips and the tips of his fingers as he pulled her closer.

"Lucas," she breathed against his mouth sending shivers down his spine.

"Riles," he responded in a raspy tone that he didn't recognize.

"You should probably go if you're going to walk me to school again. Dad was only seconds away from catching you in here yesterday."

Unable to speak he simply nodded, planting one last kiss on her lips and another on her forehead before heading toward the window.

Riley glanced back at the mirror, noticing the flush on her face. Once again she pulled her fingers back into the messy pile on her head, wondering what had gotten into her boyfriend that morning and if it would be wise to wear a hairstyle that inspired him to spontaneously combust for no reason.

As Lucas descended the fire escape he replayed the events that had just taken place over in his mind, circulating around a new and confounding discovery. Even at the climax of the triangle that never should have been he had always known that his feelings for Riley were different than those he had for Maya. They're connection was different, deeper somehow. Though he'd tried to do as both girls had asked him and entertain the thought of a romantic relationship with the spirited renegade, he could never quite feel for her what he had always felt so naturally with the sweet and tender brunette he'd latched onto that first day on the subway.

The moment that had confused him the most had come at that campfire when he'd nearly kissed Maya. It had been powerful and almost completely consuming but even what he felt in that moment hadn't rivaled the peaceful happiness that washed over him when in Riley's presence.

Standing upstairs with her he had felt that same calm euphoria that only came from sharing her company but there had also been something else; something akin to what he had felt that night with Maya's face in his hands. After months of coming to terms with how two very different girls could inspire separate yet significant feelings for both of them, he now found himself faced with an equally perplexing mystery.

Was it possible to have two different girls that could both inspire the same reaction from him...and if so what did that mean?

This time Mr. Mathews was the one waiting to greet him at the door.

"You think you're real smart don't you, Mr. Friar?" He asked trying to intimidate the young man.

Lucas smiled, his dimples oozing humility.

"Only as smart as you taught me to be, sir," he replied.

Cory's facial expression shifted from suspicion to gratitude and then quickly again to condemnation.

"Don't think I don't know what you're doing," he whispered menacingly as he shoved his finger against his former pupil's chest.

Lucas fought the urge to chuckle at the man before him. Having no experience with parenting he couldn't say that he knew how it felt to raise a daughter, but he did know how it felt to want to protect someone you care about. That was an instinct they shared, as was their love for Riley. Neither of them wanted to see her wounded in any way and both would cross oceans if necessary to prevent it.

"I'm just walking your daughter to school sir," he assured with sincerity.

Despite his best efforts to empathize he couldn't understand Mr. Mathews's fear where he was concerned. He'd been there to witness the building of their friendship and its fruition into something more. He had seen firsthand how important his daughter was to Lucas. Yet for some reason he squirmed in dread whenever he and his daughter were in the same room together.

"Daddy please stop interrogating my boyfriend," Riley implored as she came bounding down the stairs. Cory watched helplessly as his little girl glanced past him, her brown eyes shining as they landed on the young man's face. Though Lucas was trying to reign in his emotions for the man's sake, he wasn't doing a very good job of it. His little girl was growing up, which was terrifying enough for any parent, but she was doing so in a world where everyone seemed to be racing for the brass ring of adulthood before they were ready to reach the destination. Riley and Lucas were great kids, but even great kids could get lost in a moment and make a mistake. That was what kept him up at night; the fear that Riley would someday soon be feeling everything he had at that age...if she wasn't already starting to.

Cory's hand flew up to his heart as he gasped in offense.

"I would never!" He insisted though he'd been doing just that moments before and they both knew it.

Sensing his girlfriend's displeasure Lucas decided to step in on Mr. Mathews' behalf.

"He was just asking if I felt ready for high school. He wants to know he prepared us well."

Riley's expression began to soften at his words. "Aww," she exclaimed as she strolled up next to her father wrapping her arm around him and resting her head on his shoulder. "I think it's sweet you're having separation anxiety about letting us go, but you're a great teacher Dad!" the brunette assured before walking over to join her boyfriend.

"She's right sir. You gave us everything we needed to succeed," he agreed as he offered Riley his hand which she happily took and the two of them disappeared out into the world, together...alone.

Cory's gaze lingered on the front door of his apartment as he considered their words of encouragement. "I hope so," he whispered to himself.

Riley and Lucas walked hand in hand toward the school, but as they drew nearer to their journey's end he could sense a hesitance in her steps. He squeezed her hand gently and turned to face her, patiently waiting for her to return his gaze. The brown eyed beauty felt his eyes on her and tensed at the realization. She wasn't used to him being this aware of her and her tangled emotions. It unnerved her, being so transparent.

"Is everything okay," he asked but he knew it wasn't and she knew that he knew it. Still, she made an effort to smile in response as she brushed a loose tendril from her face.

"Yeah, everything's fine. I'm just starting to wish I hadn't decided on the accelerated academics program, that's all." She explained timidly.

Lucas nodded in understanding as he probed further. "Are you worried about the classes?"

Riley shook her head this way and that as she spoke. "No, well yes, but that's not what's bothering me." She didn't need to say anything else. She could see the conclusion forming in his mossy green eyes.

"You're missing Maya," he surmised.

With the exception of their brief conversation on the steps the previous day neither Lucas or Riley had summoned the courage to bring her up again. Her absence was like a black cloud hovering over them; always felt but seldom acknowledged.

"She won't talk to me; we try but we just run out of things to say. That's never happened before. And when we stop talking it gets quiet, but not the comfortable quiet; the kind where you're wracking your brain for ways to fill it but you can't think of anything. Which is weird because there's so much I want to say to her...but I can't because we have all these new rules about what we can and can't say and I don't want to say anything that's going to hurt her or make her mad at me again," the words came pouring out of her without warning and in that moment Lucas realized how much she had been holding back.

They stopped in front of the school, the bell seconds away from sounding.

"Do you want me to tell her you say hi or that you miss her, or something?"

Lucas hated the idea of being stuck between the girls but that seemed to be his position no matter what he tried. If he was going to be trapped between them he might as well use the position to broker peace between them, but once again Riley shook her head.

"You don't have to do that. I'm sure she already knows. She just needs some time."

The brunette had never been particularly good at waiting to see how things worked out but she also knew that Maya didn't like to be pushed and Riley feared what might happen if she pushed her friend too far. With their schedules beckoning them in different directions they wished one another a good day and sealed it with a kiss as the final warning rang out. As they began to walk in opposite directions Lucas was the first to turn back. "You know if we keep this up we could end up cutest couple in the yearbook," he teased, a besotted grin on his handsome face. Riley turned to reveal her amusement. "You think so?" She asked hopefully, blowing him a kiss before rushing to her first class of the day. Lucas pocketed her gesture and did the same.

Maya sat through her first two classes, her eyes practically glued to the back of her head. With the exception of eighth grade she'd never had much interest in academics and most of her teachers had monotone voices that would double terrifically as a sleep machine. The only solace that first and second period had to offer was that they kept her from having to go to her third class of the day where she would be forced to sit with the very person she'd rather chew her own limb off than be stuck with. Much to her dismay she had absolutely zero choice in the matter. Her first two classes came and went and once again it was time to face music. The blonde chuckled at her own thought as the dead man walking theme came to mind.

Lucas was no more enthusiastic about having to share his table and elbow room with Maya than Maya was about sharing it with him. Though they had never been terribly close he had considered her a good friend not very long ago, but as he took his seat next to the blonde beauty, it wasn't longing or regret he found himself struggling with. His jaw clenched at the mere sight of her and he hated himself for it. Why was it so difficult for him to be around her? Why did he feel the need to punch something every time she opened her sarcastic mouth or looked at him with that icy blue stare that he stopped being intimidated by long ago?

Whatever was causing him to react this way he needed to locate the source and shut those feelings down before they caused more chaos. He doubted that the two of them would ever be anything resembling close again, but Maya was still the closest thing his girlfriend had to a sister. Riley was desperate to be close to her again, and once they reconciled some amount of contact would be mandatory. It would be best for everyone if he didn't complicate the situation by allowing his temper to run away with him.

Mr. Simmons; the human weeble wobble, waddled to his podium in front of the class and began reading the daily itinerary. Instinctively Maya's eyelids began flutter, fighting against gravity. Despite his efforts his good nature forced him to look over in Maya's direction to see if history would be repeating itself, which if the sight before him was any indication it would be.

"Goodnight everybody," she stated as her head began to drop near the table.

Lucas sat there arguing with himself whether or not he should catch her chin as he had always done or if just this once he should let it fall and let her reap the consequences of her decision to rely on him to keep her from injuring herself. He might be angry with her but he'd never sit back and watch her hurt herself. He couldn't do that. Just as he'd made up his mind to spare her the pain and reached out his hand her head magically lifted, her eyes staring at him accusingly.

"You were really gonna let me do it, weren't you?"

He wasn't, but she didn't need to know that. Instead he just shrugged in response and whispered pointedly "Well if you're going to drop your head that far from the table you can't expect the person next to you to keep you from busting your chin all the time."

Her shoulders rose as her mouth formed an o shape.

"Ooh looks like someone finally cracked that Mr. Perfect exterior after all. What's the matter Prince Charming, got a kink in your chain metal?"

More than one actually.

"I'm just not excited to spend the entire year with a partner who is going to sleep through class and make me do all the work again. Do you have any idea how hard it is to do your work and mine with just one hand?"

Mr. Simmons glanced up from his paper sending the two students a nasty look temporarily silencing Lucas. Maya, on the other hand, would not be hushed so easily. Her blue eyes twinkled with laughter as she retorted, provoking him further.

"You know I can honestly say I've never tried," she smirked with glee.

It had become relatively easier to push his buttons over the last couple of years but this day it seemed to be effortless. Her merely breathing in his vicinity seemed to set him off, and though she knew she shouldn't, Maya was enjoying it. Pulling his strings made her feel powerful, and after everything that had happened over the summer it was a feeling she was in dire need of.

"Alright now since you're already in groups of two I want to begin the class by each of your coming up with your own definition for what you think science means." The teacher announced before heading back to his desk on the other end of the classroom.

Lucas pulled out a sheet of paper and wrote his and Maya's names in the top right corner, along with the word science and a hyphen.

"Okay, what do we think science means?" he asked, poised in writing position in case she decided to be helpful.

Maya snorted at his question as if it were a joke, because in her eyes that's exactly what this assignment was.

"It means the teacher is lazy and didn't want to come up with something better for us to do." She said as she pulled a blow pop from her bag and began unwrapping it with her dainty fingers.

The blonde boy nodded, not in agreement, but at his own lack of surprise by her answer. He had once believed that there was more to Maya than her inconsiderate behavior and snarky bravado, but after spending several months without Riley's influence the good he had thought he'd seen in her appeared to be vanishing with every initiation of contact. Each time he had given her the benefit of the doubt she had proven to him she was unworthy of it.

"Well I can't exactly write that down and turn it in so you got anything else?"

Maya removed the circular lollipop from her mouth which had begun staining her lips a cherry red and glanced to the corner of the ceiling to appear deep in thought.

"A nerd's favorite pastime?" she teased.

His grip on the pencil tightened as he focused all his energy on coming up with a definition for the assignment, until the item in his hand snapped under the pressure of his fingers. Lucas pursed his lips together, fighting the urge to yell out in frustration. Silently seething he reached down and collected a second writing utensil.

"Geeze Hercules! Since when do you take everything so seriously?"

Okay, so they had never been best friends, but Maya had known Lucas since his first day in New York City, or at least his first day of school. They hadn't had many conversations, but she'd spent a good two years observing him within their group; seeing what kind of person he was. He wasn't the class clown by any means, but he wasn't exactly an over-thinker either. Most of the time he seemed blissfully unaware of things until they were brought to his attention. The only time she'd ever seen him like this was throughout the end of their eighth grade year when both her and Riley's feelings for the same boy had come to light and he had been forced to make a choice between them. With the choice made and he and Riley in seemingly nauseating coupledom, there was no reason for the tension radiating off her former friend.

Since he was trapped in a room, at a table, in a partnership with her. Lucas wasn't snapping pencils because he was "too serious" he was snapping pencils because he was at the end of his rope when it came to the girl sitting next to him. He'd tried so hard to be her friend, even when she didn't seem to want one. He had complimented, encouraged, and defended her, usually without so much as a thank you and often with a little grief along the way. She was the one that had decided they couldn't be friends after he'd made the choice she'd begged him to make and had been punishing him ever since. He was trying to keep the peace for Riley's sake, but how long was he supposed to pretend that he wasn't angry?

He had stood paralyzed, afraid to move because he didn't want to hurt anyone. He'd been forced into a decision that he had never wanted or expected to have to make, and despite all of this somehow he had managed to come out the bad guy in this scenario. Maya had cut him off without so much as a "so long Huckleberry," and frozen Riley out; leaving her to drown in her own guilt. Farkle had yet to forgive him for hurting one of his girls and Zay had promised to take Maya's side, straining the relationship between him and his childhood friend. From where he was standing Maya had effectively managed to infect every other relationship in his life and showed no remorse for her part in any of the events that led to their current situation. Why should he walk around, taking all the blame?

"Since when don't you take anything seriously?" he shot back vehemently. "I've seen you be better than this. I've seen you fight for a program that you love. I've watched you make boiling sludge and impress your English teacher. I watched you grow from the girl who started the homework rebellion and set off the sprinklers to a girl who does her own homework and stayed awake in class."

For just a moment she faltered because she knew he was right. She had been better than this and maybe she would have been if things hadn't worked out the way they had, but she'd learned a long time ago that wishing didn't bring opportunities or people back. All you could do is accept where you were and Maya Penelope Hart was in a hole.

"That wasn't me Ranger Rick that was all Miss Goody-Two Shoes Mathews. She wanted to find your friends in Texas to endorse you during the election. I would have sunk you with that recording in a heartbeat because that's who I am. I'm the girl who starts rebellions and runs rampant in the halls. I don't have a reason to come back anymore."

That last line was just as frightening for her to say as it was for him to hear because it was the first time they both realized those words just might be true. Riley was the one who had always pulled Maya back from the brink. If they never reconciled how far would she drift and where would she land?

Rather than suffer through lunch she decided to head to the art room in hopes of channeling her emotions into something more finite. Miss Corwin had given Maya her blessing to use the supplies in the room but had warned her she might not be the only student who would come to the same brilliant idea. Maya didn't care. As long as she had a brush in her hand that was all that mattered. Once she put brush to canvass she could forget all about Lucas and his choice, about the growing wedge between her and her best friend. She could tune the whole world out and pretend the last three months had never happened.

She peered over the edge of her empty canvass just in time to see a familiar face walking through the door. The girl was impossible to miss with her fire engine red hair and biker chick combat boots stomping around like she owned the place, but it was her talent that had rendered the blonde in awe her first day of the art program. Maya shrunk down behind her easel, but to no avail. The moment she took her place beside the young girl she knew she'd been recognized.

"Baby bird! What are you doing here?" she questioned curiously, her hands instantly set into motion on her latest masterpiece.

'So much for forgetting everything' Maya thought to herself with a sigh.


	13. 12- Upset Balance

**A/N: Honestly guys I can't thank you enough for your continued support of my writing and personal investment in this story! There was a time when I was struggling to make regular updates but you guys stuck by me and my stories, so thank you so much for being such wonderful readers! I love hearing your thoughts and feelings on my chapters and getting to know you guys through your reviews and messages! There were two new characters introduced at the tail end of the last chapter. These characters are original creations designed specifically for this story. I did have some assistance in the the original brainstorming process. Those people know who they are and I thank them for their assistance. :)**

"Come on Huckleberry, you can't possibly still be mad at me," Maya whined as the stepped off the subway car and onto the platform just a block from school. Even when they had barely spoken or touched in public he had at least acknowledged her existence unlike this morning, where not a word had been spoken on his part. His green eyes seemed cloudy, unfocused; as if he were somewhere far away. The blonde glowered in response snapping her fingers directly in front of his face. "Hello? Earth to Ranger Rick?" It wasn't until she physically knocked on his head that he appeared to come out of whatever trance he'd been in.

Lucas craned his neck to the side, rubbing the back of it, and shaking his head for good measure before turning to her apologetically.

"I'm sorry, I'm just really tired," he replied, a small yawn escaping his lips as if to substantiate his reasoning.

Maya's brow's furrowed at his explanation.

"So you're not mad at me?" she asked curiously.

Despite their usual preference of extracurricular activity, he'd left her apartment still seething over the way she had treated Riley, not that she could exactly blame him. She wasn't thrilled with her behavior that day either, but she couldn't help but notice that lately whenever Riley was in any kind of pain Lucas always found a way to blame her for it, whether it was her fault or not. But that was just her who he was, wasn't it? She'd seen "Texas Lucas" emerge on the behalf of several of their friends, it wasn't like Riley was the only one. Still, she couldn't help but wonder if he would ever come to her defense as quickly as he would her best friend's.

He lowered his gaze, fidgeting with his shoulder strap. Of course he was upset that she had deliberately hurt Riley, and for what reason? Because she had bought some new clothes and cut her hair? Because she'd made the mistake of standing in the same hallway with him? Had Maya kept her claws to herself she would have seen Riley make an excuse to leave and scurry down the hall in the opposite direction as quickly as possible. Both girls claimed that they still wanted to remain friends but how could they with all this distance between them?

He raised his head, meeting her baby blues with disapproval.

"Don't get me wrong, I'm still not happy about what you did- "he began only to be cut off at the quick.

"I know. I'm not happy about it either," she countered.

Lucas's jaw clenched momentarily, scoffing at her reply.

"Then why would you do it?" he inquired, clearly annoyed that there was even a need to ask such a question.

Why had she done it? She was still searching for a way to verbalize her thoughts from earlier when his voice cut through them.

"I picked you. I'm dating you, so why would you go after her like that?" he probed further.

Maya bit down on her lip with a sigh. Even if she could ever find the words to explain what had happened in that hallway he wouldn't understand. Lucas should have understood better than anyone, but knowing what he did he still managed to jump to the same conclusion as anyone else; that she had been jealous. Maybe she had been, when Riley seemed to have everything and she had so little, but the scales had tipped in her favor since then. She had discovered her talent for art and stopped blaming herself for her father walking out on her. She had a potential family of her own if things continued to go well between Shawn and her mother, and as if these things weren't enough she was literally dating Mr. Perfect.

She had no reason to be envious anymore…did she?

Her hands flew up in an exasperated manner, palms to the sky and flames burning in those blue eyes.

"I don't know Lucas," she said with a shrug of her shoulders. "Maybe I'm just a horrible person and that's what horrible people do? Do you really think that's what I wanted to happen? That I planned to do it? I got caught up in the moment.," she said making a sweeping gesture. "I saw her and I reacted. You of all people should understand that, Texas Lucas." She bit in response.

Lucas flinched at her choice of wording; partially because he had come to New York with the intention of starting over and had come a long way in that endeavor, even to the point of being called "Lucas the good" and "Moral Compass," but the bigger reason he reeled back was because he knew that side of him was still very much a part of him and had been more present as of late than he cared to admit. Unable to argue with her words, he grew quiet; submissive. To him, being called Texas Lucas was no better than being called brother.

Golden curls tossed this way and that as she shook her head at him.

"Stop pouting. Stop acting like it's a bad word or a bad thing. So you have a dark side. Almost everyone in the world does. Accept it. Embrace it. What's life without a little adventure?"

She could never understand why he would want to fit the role of Prince Charming. Charming was dull, predictable, so much so that his creators didn't even bother giving him a real name. Why would anyone want to be that? Princess Riley might have needed that from him, but Maya didn't. Couldn't he understand that he was free now to be who he truly was?

He glanced down at his hands pondering her advice. He liked to believe that he was a good person. He'd certainly been trying hard to be since he'd come to the city. Catching Riley in the subway, that had been the right thing. Restraining Maya to keep her from doing something she might later regret when Billy called Farkle nothing, that had been right. Getting up and that bull and holding on for dear life instead of cowering in fear, all these things were the right thing to do. But the same hands that had caught Riley had also grabbed Maya's face, had pressed Billy against the wall…and Farkle. A little adventure was one thing, but Lucas's darkness wasn't mischievous. It was dangerous.

It would be wrong to embrace that…wouldn't it?

Having approached the school and with the bell ringing at any moment, they had no choice but to leave things as they were. Honestly, they probably would have anyway because there wasn't much more either could say on the subject so they agreed to see one another in science and parted ways peacefully. Once in her classroom, Maya took a seat and pulled out an empty notebook. For an hour and a half, she stared at the empty page, wondering if she'd ever find a way to fill it.

To everyone's surprise, despite their differing schedules they had all been assigned the same lunch period. They gathered collectively around an empty table, but it was nothing like the lunches they'd had back in middle school. Silently everyone laid their items down and spread throughout the cafeteria to explore their options. Maya followed Farkle to the pizza bar and stood in line behind him. She knew that he and Riley had remained in contact somewhat over the summer and unlike her, had classes together. She didn't trust herself to talk to the brunette again just yet, but she still wanted to know that she was okay.

"How is she?" she asked as they each took a tray from the pile in front of them.

Farkle turned to face his friend and immediately felt torn.

"After the way you treated her yesterday? I'm not sure you deserve to know," he said with a sigh.

Maya bit back on her lip, nodding slowly. She deserved that and she knew it, but it still hurt to hear. It hadn't been her finest moment, but Farkle had always loved her anyway. No matter what she had done he had always tried to understand and given her the benefit of the doubt, even when it didn't make sense to him.

He hated what was happening between them. They all did. Talking to Maya, Riley, or Lucas it was obvious that none of them wanted things the way they were. They simply couldn't seem to turn them around. No one knew how. He and Isadora had talked about it several times in the last three months and while she felt for him, neither genius could come up with a solution to the problem.

"I don't like what you did," he stated curtly, "but I know that you don't like it either and I know that if you could take it back you probably would. I just wish you hadn't done it."

She smiled weakly, grateful that he'd told her anything at all. In just that small statement he had said more to her than the rest of their friends combined, her boyfriend included. She wanted to tell Farkle that he was right, that she would take it back, but she couldn't bring herself to lie to him.

"I know what I did was wrong, but I'm not sorry. I hate that it had to happen but I wouldn't change it. Isn't it worth it if it drags her out of whatever la la land she's currently living in and brings her back to us?" she insisted.

Finally, he was beginning to make sense of the previous day's events.

"You still think she's coming back." His voice was soft and low, and slightly resembled pity which only made her temper flare.

The each pointed to their respective choice of slices as they continued down the line.

"Of course I do and you should too. She's gonna snap out of this Farkle. She always does."

More than anything he wanted to believe that but the more time he spent with her the less possible he believed it to be.

"It's different this time, Maya. She's different. It's not just how she looks. It's in things she says and does, things she's studying- "he would have kept going but she had heard enough already.

Every part of her tensed at his words, coiling up like a snake ready to strike. It was a natural reflex from her years on the Riley Committee. Information was dangerous to a soul as bright and pure as Riley Mathews and so she and Farkle had spent the majority of their lives protecting her from finding out what the world was truly like beyond Rileytown. Anything that was dark or scary or disappointing they had hidden away to keep her smiling and optimistic. The world needed her light, more than she would ever know, if they had their way.

"What is that supposed to mean? What's she studying?"

And why hadn't she been warned sooner? How could she protect Riley if she didn't know what was going on with her anymore?

"She dropped a class this morning and picked up astronomy in its place."

Astronomy; the place where you learn that those beautiful stars in the sky are nothing more than hot balls of gas that will eventually die, that was the last place a dreamer like Riley needed to be. Maya grabbed him by the front of his shirt, pulling him to her.

"Hey!" the cafeteria worker behind the bar shouted, not used to seeing their strange rituals of endearment.

"It's okay, she does this all the time," he explained, waving off their concern.

Did they actually think she was going to hurt him?

"You can't let that happen," she growled at him menacingly.

But it already had.

"You know what kind of things they're going to teach her in there." She hissed.

He did and didn't like it any more than she did, but what could they really do?

"She already knows that Pluto isn't a planet anymore," he reasoned.

After years of keeping her in the dark about that one, it had finally come to light, and Riley being the lover of Pluto that she was, had refused to accept it.

"So what? We just stop trying and do nothing?" she shot back angrily.

Why were he and everyone else always so quick to give up on her? Why couldn't they see her through the mask she was hiding behind?

Farkle glanced back at the table where Riley had just taken a seat with her salad, a sad wistful expression darkening his features. Maya was trying to prevent something that had already happened. They had failed and no matter how much either of them wanted to, they couldn't make it right again.

"I think if the last year has proven anything it's that we can't protect her anymore."

Before she even opened her eyes Riley had known she was in trouble. Her body was currently crushed against that of a tall, muscular boy in the hallway of her last class of the day. She knew this because when they had collided her hands had thoughtlessly wrapped around the forearm of the mystery man standing opposite her. At that moment she had prayed to the hallway gods please let it be anyone but Lucas she was pinned against and it seemed they had heard and answered her prayers. She lifted her gaze toward the handsome face of the stranger in front of her; his dark hazel eyes pulling her in against her will. She didn't know if it was aftershock from their collision or his dazzling smile that was causing her knees to give out, but she instinctively tightened her grip around his arms, noting their shape and form.

"Oh my," she breathed.

He peered down at her, a warm intensity staring back at her.

"Are you okay?" he asked, genuinely concerned.

She wanted to find a rock to hide under. It was only her second day of high school and once again she had already made a complete and utter fool of herself. She didn't know this guy from Adam, yet here she was a flustered puddle in the hallway. Why couldn't she be more like Maya? Even when the audacious blonde had first laid eyes on Lucas she hadn't stirred. She'd strolled right up to him with all the confidence in the world and introduced herself. That was the kind of person Riley wanted to be known as, and so she disentangled herself from this modern day Adonis, whoever he was, and attempted to compose herself.

"Yeah, I'm really sorry about that. It's only my second day here. Guess I'm still getting used to the place." She explained, hoping to come off as anything other than the bumbling mess she had been known as in middle school.

The boy ran a hand through his wavy brown hair and nodded in understanding.

"Don 't worry about it. My first week I must have run into at least twenty people. As long as you don't send anyone to the nurse's office, I'd say you're doing just fine," he assured her with another award winning smile.

Riley couldn't help but return his smile with one of her own. It was infectious. In fact, everything about him seemed to be. Already she found herself wanting to know more about him, which was exactly why she wasn't going to linger in that hallway. Her instincts couldn't be trusted.

"We should probably get to class," she suggested, brushing her hair back behind her ear anxiously.

Both turned to face the door behind them, nearly bumping into one another a second time. Both chuckled nervously and stood there for what seemed like an eternity but was truly only a minute before he stepped back with a slight bow and insisted "ladies first."

The young woman paused, taking him in one feature at a time. The boy, though older, grew self-conscious as she stood there examining him.

"Sorry, I saw that in a movie once and always wanted to try it," he replied, doing his best to sound cooler than he believed himself to be.

Riley just nodded wordlessly; a coy smile playing on her lips as she took her seat in front of Farkle, whose mind was still stuck on what he had witnessed in the doorway. For just a moment he could have sworn that he had seen the original Riley shining through the new exterior, and he wondered if it was possible that perhaps Maya had been right all along and Riley was still in there somewhere…if the guy sitting two seats behind him in the next row could somehow bring her out again.

The bell rang and Mr. Honeycutt began going over the daily agenda before moving to roll call.

Six names down the list a familiar voice responded.

"Caleb Fuller?"

The boy from the hallway leaned back in his desk, extending his arms out on each side as far as they would go exclaiming "O Captain, my Captain!" enthusiastically. Several of the older students chuckled at his choice of response but the beautiful brunette in the front row merely tilted her head to the side, her face revealing her lack of familiarity with the quote.

Mr. Honeycutt snapped his fingers and pointed toward the boy who she now knew to be named Caleb.

"You may call me captain Mr. Fuller, you will not, however, under any circumstances stand on top of my desk, are we clear?"

Once again a handful of their classmates reacted with cheers and applause while the others glanced around the room wondering if there was a secret joke they hadn't been let in on just yet, she and Farkle falling into the latter category. The young man nodded his understanding to his teacher, the corner of his mouth twisting into a sideways smirk; the kind that made Riley grateful she was already sitting down else her knees might buckle a second time.

Caleb placed his elbows on his desk, leaning in to rest his chin in his hands as their instructor continued his task, eager to learn the name of the brown eyed beauty who had captivated him at first sight. As her name was called she raised her arm halfway; just enough to be acknowledged but not enough to call attention to herself, a bashful smile on her lips. He had no idea what secrets lay behind that beautiful surface, but he decided right then and there that he wanted to find out.

Once the class roll was complete Mr. Honeycutt pulled out a copy of the class itinerary and began orating.

"Alright now that we know one another's names, this is an English class and in English class we study literature. Now if you've studied your agenda," he said before placing his hand on one side of his mouth as if he were sharing insight of great importance, "and if you haven't now would certainly be an excellent time to do so," he spoke beside the point, "then you know that we will be starting out the year with the great bard himself. That's right folks: the one and only William Shakespeare," their educator announced, forcing Riley to turn her eyes toward the front of the classroom. That, however, did not keep her mind from occasionally wandering back to the boy with the piercing hazel eyes.

She knew that she would have to maintain a reasonable distance from others in order to locate and assert her own identity in this new world. She was still in the process of becoming whatever it was she was meant to be and couldn't afford the luxury of outside influences, especially one as tempting as the boy from the hallway. The old Riley had never believed in coincidence. In her mind, that was just the universe's way of saying hello, letting you know it was there and paying attention. If the universe really had sent Caleb Fuller to her, staying away from him could prove more difficult than she'd originally anticipated.

Unbeknownst to Riley, there had been a third party privy to their encounter in the hallway. Lucas had rounded the corner just in time to witness her pressed up against one of the unrecognizable new members of the student body. Her hands were firmly gripping his upper arms in a way that reminded Lucas of scary movie moments with popcorn and chocolate and little red gummy bears. He'd spent so long learning her mannerisms, memorizing her quirks; things he was just now taking an interest in where Maya was concerned, and though he occasionally felt guilty for not truly seeing his girlfriend sooner, he could never be sorry for the time that he had spent with the pretty brunette who had first set him on his chosen path.

Knowing her as he did, he realized their compromising position was far more innocent than it might seem to the average bystander. What some would perceive as bold or flirtatious behavior was more than likely just a product of her tendency to watch her feet as she walked. It was the same culprit he had to thank for their brief interaction the day before. In all likelihood the scene before him was nothing more than an accident, and yet Lucas knew better than to assume it was harmless. He knew first hand that a moment is all it would take for Riley to make a lasting impression.

Looking back on their own introduction, it was difficult to believe that such an intimate moment had occurred in the middle of a busy subway car. One minute he was sitting there reading his book and the next he was pulling her into his lap to keep her from flying into the wall. He'd only had a second to react, but that one split second decision had altered his course forever.

Even without knowing the stranger he knew how this scene would play out. Riley would glance up at him with those deep brown eyes and a quiet warmth would spread throughout his entire being. He wouldn't know it yet, but that warmth was the feeling of her staring down into his soul and shining her inner light on the best parts of him, luring them to the surface. She'd smile nervously as a delightful shade of pink tinted her cheeks and he would be grateful to see that she was just as affected by him as he was by her. Then she would open her mouth to speak and he would be spellbound. She would say or do something in her adorably Riley way that would make him laugh or smile and that would be it. His new course would be set.

This guy probably had no idea that his life had just changed forever, that the best person he would ever know, the best friend he would ever have, had just crashed into his existence so unexpectedly. Wherever he had come from or where he had been headed would no longer matter because she would build him up so high that he could see the horizon of endless possibility and remind him of what was important whenever he lost his way. Lucas had never stood at the edge of the Grand Canyon or explored worlds beyond, but he'd always imagined it was that same kind of feeling he had experienced in knowing her; both humbling and awe inspiring. This new person was now delving into those depths, exploring her beautiful soul and would undoubtedly see the promise hidden in her eyes and hope perhaps it could be for him.

Lucas had once hoped the same thing. When he had caught her that day he had never imagined that moment could lead to a world in which he had allowed her to slip through his fingers, yet somehow that was exactly what had happened. At every opportunity he had chosen the road that kept him closest to Riley but to his surprise that need to stay close to her had led him to someone else completely different.

Maya Hart was in no way a consolation prize; she just wasn't the girl that he had expected to end up with. Riley had been right when she had stated that the lovely blonde with the personality of a firecracker had been present from the inception of their unofficial thing. The universe had set Riley and Maya both on that subway car with him that day. They had cascaded into his life within seconds of one another. One had strutted her way in and the other had been pushed, but both had eventually come to mean a great deal to him in ways he was still trying to wrap his brain around.

Meeting Maya for the first time had felt kind of like the moment your best friend issues you a good dare. Everything about her from the pink strands in her hair to the sequins and leather of her jacked had exuded the thrill of a little danger. Had he known that she was approaching him he probably would have been terrified but he hadn't realized that he was her target until she was standing before him. Struck by her confidence and evident beauty he'd been more than a little curious about the girl standing in front of him and when she had declared herself Maya and him "really cute," he'd been flattered by her interest. Though he'd felt a little silly and awkward as she continued the entire conversation without any input from him whatsoever, he had also been amused by her panache and more than a little intimidated. As she'd walked away to join her friend he'd been left sitting alone to wonder what had just happened between them and what it might mean. Then she had sent Riley flying backward with a smile, as if she had known all along that he would reach for her.

His first instinct had always been to reach for her.

A sick sense of déjà vu washed over him as he stood their captive audience watching the events unfold exactly as he had predicted. The guy was already looking down at Riley before she had even opened her eyes. It was obvious to Lucas that, whoever he was, he had no objection to the beauty that had landed in his arms. Slowly Riley lifted her face to meet the eyes of the stranger and it appeared that she approved of the sight before her as well. A different warmth began to flood the young Texan's veins as she beamed at the guy across the hall the way she had once smiled at him. He'd felt a little better once Riley had separated herself from the newest creep, but that relief was short lived as he witnessed her moving her hair behind her ear.

That was something she only did whenever she was nervous…meaning this guy made her nervous. If he didn't step in soon and put an end to this, he could lose her. He took exactly one step forward before he remembered that she wasn't his to have. The promise in her eyes hadn't been for him, but it was there for someone. Lucas didn't know if it was the guy she had just disappeared into the classroom with, or a person she hadn't even met yet, but he knew that it wasn't him.

He already had someone to belong to, and a mystery to solve lurking in her azure orbs.

The final bell had just rung and the school day was now over. Farkle gathered up his belongings and stood to leave the classroom when he felt Riley tug on his arm, holding him in place. He turned to meet her gaze, those chocolate eyes begging him not to go yet.

"What's wrong," he asked pretending as though he didn't already know the answer.

Her lips formed a thin smile as she released his arm.

"Would you mind staying and talking with me?" she inquired hopefully.

He knew what she was doing. She was stalling and after what had happened the day before he couldn't really blame her. Riley was changing but realistic or not she still had feelings and being humiliated like that had to have left her with some.

"What do you want to talk about it?" he countered her question with one of his own.

The brunette shook her head and shrugged.

"Anything you want. I just can't go out there right now." She admitted shamefully.

She was supposed to be brave and powerful but she couldn't will her feet to move.

His expression softened at her words and again he cursed what they had all become. Nothing about this seemed right or fair from where he was standing. Their group of friends had basically disbanded and the two best friends he'd ever known were now avoiding and attacking one another. They were supposed to be different. They had promised to be different, but they weren't. It had only been two days of high school and already they were drifting apart.

"Because of Maya and Lucas."

It wasn't actually a question but she addressed it as though it had been.

"Because I'm just not ready to go yet," she said with a smile that never reached her eyes.

She had worn that same hollow grin ever since they had returned from Texas. For almost a year now the only expressions she had worn were those of suffering in silence and quiet heartbreak, neither of which should she have ever had to wear.

"Okay, then we'll wait." He replied.

Maybe he couldn't protect her from all the terrible things in the world but he could at least spare her this.

Fearing that he might step outside to find Riley in the hallway with her new friend, Lucas had chosen to do the same. Unfortunately, he didn't have any friends to linger there with him so instead he just sat alone at his desk watching everyone else file out the door.

"Something wrong Mr. Friar?" his teacher asked as she packed up her own essentials for the day.

For a moment he considered opening up to this person the way he had done with Mr. Mathews, but even though she seemed nice enough she also appeared to be in a bit of a hurry.

"I'm fine, I'm just waiting for someone," he said, glancing down at his clasped hands.

The woman nodded with a polite smile.

"Let me guess is she blonde and pretty?" she asked spotting Maya in the doorway.

He turned toward the door in time to watch her come strolling up to his desk, just as she had done that day in the subway car, before plopping herself down on the desk in front of his.

"You do know school is over right?" she teased.

He humored her with a smile, but it was cordial at best.

She swung her feet forward and back as she contemplated exactly how she should navigate this situation. She assumed that he was hiding in his classroom because he was still upset with her, either for the day before or her lack of remorse on the subject that morning. It was also possible that he was delaying his departure in an attempt to prevent the three of them from ending up in the hallway together again.

Maya didn't know much about love or romance, but the one thing she had possibly learned from her parents was that if you didn't try to make things better eventually someone would leave. She knew what he wanted her to say but she couldn't honestly say it. She couldn't lie to him. She couldn't exactly come out and explain her reasoning and why she planned to repeat it as she had done with Farkle either. Unable to find the right words, she reached into her back pocket and pulled out a folded up notebook paper and laid it down on his desk in front of him.

His green eyes focused on the small white square before looking up at her curiously.

"What's this?" he asked, as he fingers began to undo the folds.

The corner of her mouth raised in a halfhearted smirk.

"See for yourself," she said, lifting her palm to the air.

Lucas skimmed the contents of the note in his hand.

"little rebel, queen of mischief, spitfire," he riddled off the first few lines, still not understanding.

She shifted her position on the desk to face him, her blue eyes sparkling with hope.

"You like that one? Zay suggested it, said it was a southern thing,"

He stared into those shimmering orbs, hoping to see something he hadn't before.

"Maya what is this?" he said as he refolded the list and placed it in his own pocket.

He was really going to make her work for this one, wasn't he?

"It's a list of names Huckleberry, things you can call me because we're together," she explained as a hand ran through her long blonde hair nervously.

Lucas looked up at her this time with a genuine smile. He still hadn't seen what he had been hoping to, but he could see that she was making an effort. It was one of those rare times where she actually showed him that she cared about him and for that alone he was grateful. He rose to kiss her, needing to be reminded of the good between them. She kissed him back enthusiastically, taking the gesture to represent his forgiveness or understanding, whatever it was she had needed to achieve in order to put the issue to rest.

"Alright you two, I have to lock up now." Ms. Whitt announced hinting that it was time for them to go.

He pulled back from the kiss giving his teacher a respectful yes ma'am before extending his hand for Maya to take. Neither were comfortable with this but she had told him that she wanted to act like a real couple and real couples held hands so that's what they would do. The hall was already empty and Lucas was now in a hurry to finish what they had started in the classroom. He leaned in for another kiss, pressing her back against the lockers as she snaked her arm around his neck pulling him closer to her, knowing she might not have this again for a while after today.

"You wanna take this somewhere more private?" he asked breathlessly.

They may not always agree or understand one another, but this was the one thing they always got right. This was what had drawn them together and kept them coming back for more.

"Can't," though any other day she would have gladly taken him up on the offer, "I have somewhere I have to be."

She had spent the entire day ruminating on Farkle's words, trying to decide what to do. He told her to let it go, but she couldn't and she couldn't understand how he could. This was Riley; sweet, innocent, pure little Riley. She would never give up on Maya so how could Farkle possibly expect for Maya to give up on her?

The rest of them might have but she wouldn't.

Maya peered through the glass searching for the girl who had been parading around as her childhood best friend for the last two days. She was there in her room, lost in a book with her headphones on. The image before her caused the blonde's temper to flare once more. Each time she saw the girl she regarded as her sister she found her less recognizable than the day before. Angry and fed up with Riley's latest persona she began beating against the glass. Riley was going to talk to her today and this little act she was putting on would immediately come to an end.

Riley sat on the floor of her bedroom with a copy of William Shakespeare's greatest works. She was in high school now, in an accelerated program no less. The last thing that she wanted or needed was to fall behind and make a fool of herself. She wasn't talented or athletic, she wasn't the fixer anymore or the princess, but she was smart and she needed others to see it.

Alexz Johnson's _Skin_ was blaring through her headphones as she read. Unfortunately, she kept finding herself distracted by the rhythm. It was off. How could a recorded version of a song suddenly have a different rhythm? It couldn't which meant the offbeat pounding in her ears had to be coming from an outside source. She glanced around the room searching for anything that could be creating background noise, only to find Maya outside on the fire escape, her hand hammering against the window.

"What in the world," Riley muttered as she dog eared the page she had been reading and removed her headphones before laying the book down and crossing the room. Icy blue eyes stared her down from the other side as she flipped the mechanism that would allow the blonde access to her bedroom.

"Okay, so I realize that things haven't been all "peaches and honey" with us lately but I can't believe you would lock the window! Maya shouted as she climbed through what had previously been her own private entrance into Rileytown.

The tall brunette stood before her, completely unaffected by the accusation. The old Riley, the real Riley would have been mortified that Maya had even suggested such a thing. However, this new version of Riley, whoever she was, was calm and logical, and nothing like the little ray of sunshine that Maya had once known.

"Yes, I locked the window. We live in New York City, Maya. We have one of the highest crime rates in the entire country," she stated plainly as if she were a lawyer making a case.

The blonde double blinked, trying to make sense of what had happened to her best friend. Had Farkle been right all along? This Riley knew things the real Riley had always been protected from. She knew about the crime rate in the city. And because she knew this, she now believed that someone out there in the world could potentially climb through her window with less than honorable intentions. Maya knew the more she learned, the less she would believe that the world was a wonderful beautiful place filled with inherently good people. This was why she had to put a stop to it before it was too late. Once you knew something you couldn't un-know it. You could deny it. You could ignore it. But you couldn't un-know it.

"How do you even know that?" she queried in disbelief.

Now that she had been made aware of the dangers of the city she lived in Riley wasn't sure how they had ever been able to hide it from her.

"It's everywhere Maya. Log onto any search engine but google and it's right there in your face. Pick up a newspaper it's on the front page, or the ten o clock news."

Since when Riley stayed up to watch the ten o clock news?

"You shouldn't be reading those things or watching them and you shouldn't be taking astronomy either. They're just going to keep insisting Pluto isn't a planet anymore," No one knew exactly why Riley was so fond of Pluto but for whatever reason she cherished that little space rock and would defend it to the death. At least the real Riley would.

"Well technically it isn't," the brunette conceded.

Maya couldn't have possibly heard her right? In Rileytown cats were purple, the Knicks were the greatest basketball team in the world, and Pluto was a planet.

"No!" she exclaimed. Maya wasn't always able to put her thoughts into words but she had no problem translating that one word. This couldn't happen. She wouldn't let this happen.

Riley's features scrunched up in a mask of confusion. She'd presented Maya with an indisputable fact. How could her response be no?

"I don 't understand," she replied.

"No!" The feisty blonde repeated, this time a little more forcefully.

Riley nodded her head, but her expression remained befuddled.

"I still don't understand. If you want me to understand I'm gonna need more words."

Maya growled in frustration as her hands flew up gesturing to the tall brunette in front of her.

"No! We don't need words. We never needed words. We're Riley and Maya, Maya and Riley. You're the sun, you're light and innocence. I'm the moon, all dark and…whatever the opposite of innocence is. That's how we work. That's how we've always worked."

Her brown eyes softened as she studied her best friend. Despite everything that had happened that's how Riley still thought of her. Her words were sharp and demanding, but they were clearly laced in the one fear that had consumed her most of her childhood. She had always believed that Maya might someday outgrow her and when it first began to happen she'd held on selfishly, clinging to her friend for dear life. Eventually she had to accept that Maya was meant for more than the continuous balancing act she had just described. She deserved the world and so Riley had attempted to give it to her one last time.

"People change Maya," her eyes were soft, but her voice remained calm and steady; unlike Riley.

"No! We don't like change," she insisted as she raised her hand palm up, "YOU don't like change. You make it happen so that it doesn't happen TO you, but you don't like it. You don't embrace it. It fills your pockets with pennies of uncertainty, remember?" She had to make Riley remember.

"No one wants uncertain pennies!" the blonde insisted, attempting to drive her point home.

Riley stifled a giggle at the comment.

"Of course I remember, Maya, but I've also learned that change is inevitable- "she explained but Maya threw a finger up in the air like a referee during a game.

"Big word!" she shouted.

Riley sent her an apologetic glance and mouthed the word sorry before continuing.

"You can't keep change from happening. It just happens naturally. You meet the world and it changes you. That's how it works. I'm changing Maya. I'm growing up, but just because I lock the window doesn't mean that I'm locking you out- "she elaborated but was once again cut off by the second girl in the room.

"That's exactly what it means! If I can't get in, then I'm automatically locked out. That's how a lock works, Riles!"

For the first time in their discussion Riley felt a twinge of frustration.

"I know how a lock works Maya. I didn't mean literally. I meant that even if you have to use the door to get in my room you're still my best friend." She reasoned.

"No! I don't want to use the door. I want to use the window. We didn't meet because I came through your door. You didn't wait at your door for a friend. You waited at the window. You waited at the window and I came. I came through the window, Riley."

Again Riley felt the growing twinge of frustration. This wasn't the first time that Maya had tried to tell her what she could and couldn't do with her own room. Just last spring they'd had the same conversation because Riley had wanted to redecorate her bedroom, but she had given in to Maya's demand. She had always given in. She understood why Maya was afraid of change because she had been too, but didn't she see that it had all begun with her and not Riley.

"It's just a window Maya," the brunette declared.

It was her window, and if she wanted to lock out the things and people that might hurt her, she had every right to do so.

Maya's blue eyes grew round in horror. Unable to speak, she began shaking her head violently.

"No…no, no, no. You don't- you can't mean that. This is our window, our safe place. This is where we figure out our most important stuff. This is exactly what I'm talking about. You're not you. You don't look like you. You don't sound like you. I don't know who you're trying to be with the new hair and sexy clothes, but it's not you. Light and Innocent does NOT look like that! You can't be this person! I don't know how to be friends with THIS person!"

Riley scoffed in defiance. The growing twinge of frustration was evolving into something stronger and angrier.

"Wow, that's a little 'pot meet kettle, don't you think?"

Maya's brows knit in confusion at her choice of response. Riley had just desecrated the bay window and she didn't seem the least bit remorseful about it. Whoever this new Riley was she seemed to have no understanding or consideration for the Riley that came before her and the connection she and Maya had shared. She'd thought for sure if she could just remind Riley of who she really was and how far she had fallen that she would come back, but that didn't seem to be working.

"What's that supposed to mean? Are you saying I'm not a good friend because I actually care about our history and what this place means to us?"

Riley fought the urge to roll her eyes.

"What I'm saying is maybe before you marched across town just to berate me for my appearance- "she bit out, but once again Maya's finger flew up.

"Big words!" she shouted again, but this time Riley didn't care.

"Maybe you should have bothered to look in a mirror before you came over here to lecture me about the dangers of change and uncertain pennies!"

The blonde's blue eyes narrowed in on Riley like a target as she folded her arms across her chest.

"And just what is that supposed to mean?" she snarled in response.

The old Riley would have been too afraid of hurting Maya's feelings, but the new Riley was having a difficult time mustering up that concern. After all, the girl standing in front of her had very little concern for Riley's feelings when she was flaunting her relationship with Lucas right in front of the girl he hadn't chosen the day before. She had no consideration for what her supposed best friend might feel when she barged in trying to tell Riley who she could and could not be, all while laying equal claim to Riley's own bedroom window. In fact, the more she thought about it, the more she wondered if it was really fear of losing Riley's friendship that concerned Maya, or if it was the fear of losing her influence over her that had Maya so worried.

"It means I'm not the only one who's changed."

Pot meet Kettle? She was saying that she and Riley were the same. Not only was that the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard it was completely untrue.

"Wait, are you calling me a hypocrite?" she asked defensively.

This time Riley couldn't fight the urge. Her brown eyes rolled in the back of her head as she groaned in impatience.

"No Maya, I'm calling you a hippopotamus." she jeered.

The blonde reeled back momentarily, staring at her friend as if she were a stranger.

"Oh so now I'm a bad friend and I'm fat. Is that it?"

Riley strangled the air, clearly irritated at the idea of having to continually clarify her intended meaning. How could Maya not recognize sarcasm when she heard it?

"Hippopotamus is Auggie's word for hypocrite, remember? He said it to the lady on the school board when we were saving your precious art program."

If Maya hadn't been the one on the receiving end of Riley's verbal backhand she might have been proud. Only Riley would never verbally backhand anyone, not the real Riley anyway. She just had to keep reminding herself that this wasn't her saying all these hurtful and undeserved things.

"So now you're insulting me in two languages I don't understand?!"

Riley needed to find a way to end this. The longer they kept going the more danger there was of her saying things, hurtful, brutally honest things, she would never be able to take back…things Maya wouldn't be able to endure. But for some reason she couldn't seem to stop. Maya kept daring her to cross the line and even though Riley knew it was wrong and she shouldn't, she couldn't seem to stop from stepping over it.

"Well maybe if you actually did your own homework instead of allowing me to do it for you, you might be able to understand the big words when people use them.

Maya's jaw slacked at her words.

"So not only am I a bad friend and a hippopotamus, I'm also stupid too?"

Was this really what Riley had thought of her all this time? No! This wasn't Riley. This was some horrible monster with Riley's face, but lacking the bright and beautiful soul of her best friend. These weren't Riley's words. They were the monster's words. They had to be.

All Riley could do was sigh. No matter how many times she tried to spell it out for her, Maya just kept missing the point. It wasn't about the big words or the bay window. It wasn't even about Lucas. It was about them: Riley and Maya, Maya and Riley, and how they had always worked.

"You're not stupid. You're lazy, but you're not stupid. And yes, you are a hypocrite, for showing up here and telling me that I'm not allowed to change when you started it. You're a hypocrite. You don't look like you. You look light and innocent, but you don't look like you. You don't sound like you. You're not afraid of change. You're not afraid of anything, or you weren't…but you changed. You changed and we let you. We didn't storm into your bedroom, telling you that the only way we could be friends is if you stayed the same. We let you grow and learn and we cheered when you started to believe in things. We fought alongside you for those things. But you show up here and you tell me I'm not allowed to be anything other than what I've always been. I was foolish to leave my window open in a dangerous city and you want me to invite the bad things in just because it's what I used to do and that's what you're used to? That's not fair to me, Maya."

The blonde glanced down at herself, taking in her red and black flowery dress and knee high boots. She'd actually picked out that dress because she liked the way that it flowed as she moved; a flowy, flowery dress, that danced with her as she moved. It was just a dress. A dress didn't change a person, did it? She glanced back over at the brunette in her ripped jeans and wine colored v-neck, t- shirt with the layered necklaces hanging down to distract from her cleavage. There was no denying that Maya appeared light and innocent, while Riley appeared dark and less than angelic. They were just clothes though…right?

It wasn't that Maya wanted Riley to invite the bad things in. It was that she didn't want Riley to know that bad things existed or that they happened to good people like her. She wanted to keep her best friend ignorant because unlike the rest of the world, Riley had seemed happy. All Maya had wanted was for her to stay that way. But Riley had gone out and met the world without her and there was no undoing it. Riley knew things now…dark things, the opposite of innocent things…things she could never un-know. Maya couldn't protect her from the truth anymore. None of them could.

Maya walked over, collapsing in the seat of the bay window before turning her gaze to her friend.

"So what happens now?" she asked timidly.

Riley crossed the room and sat down next to her. After a moment of searching for the right words, she shifted to meet her best friend's glance.

"Now…you stop trying to protect me…and I stop trying to save you…and we keep growing. We figure out how to be friends as the people we are now, because we changed and we're gonna keep changing." She said, her voice barely audible.

Maya hesitated before asking the question on both their minds that neither wanted to speak.

"What happens if we change too much and we grow apart?"

Riley reached for Maya's hand and laid her head on her shoulder as they had done many times before.

"Then at least I know you won't be alone," she said as she thought back to the moment in the hallway when Maya had reached for Lucas's hand.

Again they both had the same thought burning in their brains but neither dared speak it. The thought that Maya had Lucas, but without Maya who would Riley have?

* * *

Baby bird; Maya hated that name and everything that it implied. A baby bird was weak, vulnerable, incapable of fending for itself. That's exactly why the program's most promising student Veronica Abrhams, had felt the need to take an interest in the young blonde over the summer...taking her under her wing, so to speak. She'd been the one to dub Maya with the patronizing nickname the first week of the program, though she probably hadn't meant it that way. Nonetheless, it had stuck and now she would forever be known as the flailing "baby bird" of the class.

Failing wasn't a feeling she was exactly familiar with. Sure, she had made minimal effort, she had squeaked by on C's and D's for years but she had never outright failed before. Even more shocking was in what arena she had done so. Art was the one constructive thing in her life that came naturally to her. From the moment she had picked up her first pencil and put it to paper that night in the library she had been praised and admired for her work. Parents, teachers, friends; they all assured her that she had found her greatness and this world in which she created beauty from an empty page, this was what she had been put on this planet to do. This was what the universe had been waiting for her to find. All that time they had built her up higher and higher, only for her to fall from the pedestal they'd placed her on.

Maya's lips stretched into a thin smile as she glanced over the page already covered in colorful splatters that would no doubt form another powerful piece of artwork.

"I uh, I go here now. It's my second day," she mumbled incoherently. She'd never been known for being overly self-conscious, but this particular girl had a way of making her feel two inches tall without even trying.

The self-proclaimed mentor turned her gaze to the easel in front of her protégé, noting the empty sheet of paper in front of her.

"Still blocked I see," she replied as her hands continued to work vigorously.

Maya's first piece in the program hadn't gone over nearly as well as she had hoped. Mr. Strickler, the stickler, as he was commonly known around campus, had been less than impressed with her portrayal of a burning sky. He glanced at it for all of one minute before he immediately began rattling off a list of mistakes that she had made and things she could have done better. He hadn't had one good thing to say about it other than it was "a nice effort."

It had only been downhill from there. With every attempt he found something new to criticize, unlike the girl next to her who he rarely had a negative word to spare on. He reserved all those for Maya and her artwork. He'd quickly let her know that she wasn't as special as she'd been lead to believe. She was just one of many and those many were much more talented and more experienced than her and therefore showed more promise.

She was like a star slowly burning out. The harder she tried to shine the duller she seemed to become. With each heartless, praise-less critique, he slowly whittled away her confidence until there was nothing left. She had tried to tell herself that he was just one person and she wasn't in his class anymore. She no longer had to keep striving to prove herself to him, but it was too late. He had already robbed her of the joy that once came from her art. Each time she picked up a pencil or a brush she could hear his endless negativity reminding her how pointless it was. She may have been good, but she would never be great.

Maya could feel older girl studying her in between brush strokes.

"You shouldn't let him get to you," she advised, "you're good, a little green," she continued cocking her head to examine her progress as she spoke, "but good."

The blonde bit her lower lip, once again feeling guilty for resenting the one person who had been nothing but supportive of her. All throughout the summer each time the professor had broken her down it was Ronnie that had done her best to build her back up again. That responsibility usually fell on Riley's shoulders but not this time. She knew nothing of Maya's struggles with the program or her own inspiration because Maya had never told her.

After Mr. Strickler's first less than glowing assessment she had retreated to the window to find clarity and comfort in her best friend as she had many times before. Unfortunately, Riley already had company that day. She and Lucas were huddled up on her bedroom floor in front of the laptop watching some silly kid show that she hadn't seen since she was a toddler. They were sharing a pair of earbuds and her best friend had her head resting on her boyfriend's shoulder. That was the happiest either of them had looked in months and if she came in now on the verge of tears, spreading her misery, it would only spoil the moment. They had both sacrificed so much in their attempts to prevent hurting or disappointing her in some way, but staring at them through the window it was painfully clear that both were exactly where they wanted to be...with one another. So she climbed back down the fire escape without Riley or Lucas ever even knowing she was there.

She'd told herself that she would tell Riley some other time, but she had never had the heart to go through with it. There had been a handful of opportunities to do so, but the words never came. The sad truth was it was easier to avoid her and let her go on thinking that things were getting better for Maya than to tell her the truth. Riley would only blame herself, as if having Lucas would have somehow spared her this pain. She might even try to step back from him again, as if that would somehow make him want her. Riley would do anything and everything in her power to try to fix this for Maya, but this wasn't something she could fix with her optimism or meddling, and so Maya had decided it was better that she not know.

The theory was that if she allowed the two of them to be happy and focused on being happy for them it would somehow keep them all together. She could maintain at least some small semblance of a friendship with Lucas, or at least manage being in the same room together, and she and Riley could go back to normal. In practice it was driving them even further apart. With the biggest aspects of each of their lives off the table for discussion, their conversations never seemed to get very far. And the fact that in the time she and Riley had been losing one another Riley and Lucas seemed to have grown alarmingly close was doing nothing to help the situation either.

Her blue eyes ticked from the brush in her own hand to the white blank page clipped to the easel with a sigh.

"I just keep hearing all the times he told me I wasn't good enough. I can't get it out of my head," she confessed her voice revealing her level of defeat.

She hadn't been able to say those words to Riley but for some reason she could say them now. Maybe it was easier because the person standing next to her hadn't been one of the people feeding into her false sense of security. She had never called Maya great or told her that her art belonged in the same book as master artists known throughout history. She wasn't disappointing her by not living up to her unrealistic expectations. She had only ever known Maya as "baby bird." Maybe it was just easier to talk to her because she already knew about it.

Or maybe Ronnie had stepped into Riley's shoes, just as Lucas had stepped into hers…

For the first time since she'd began painting the flame haired beauty paused.

"How long has it been? Since you last created something, how long has it been?" She probed.

The blonde ran a hand through her hair contemplating the question. She didn't know exactly how long it had been, how many days or weeks, but she could easily remember her last completed piece.

"The last assignment he gave us," she trailed off, trying not to remember the comments he'd made about that particular attempt.

Ronnie's eyes widened at her words. She hadn't seen or heard from her young friend since the program had come to a close but she'd seen how affected the young girl had been by his analyzation of their final works. Still, the fact that Maya hadn't wielded a pencil or brush in nearly a month was staggering. Why she had allowed this one man to determine her own self- worth as an artist Ronnie didn't understand but she was too gifted to let her give up altogether.

She turned to Maya with an impish grin, "I can help you with that you know? As long as you don't mind breaking a few rules."

Maya honestly couldn't remember the last time she had dared color outside the lines of her life. The first memory that came to mind was the day she had gotten herself and her entire class detention for an afternoon. Lucas had followed her to Mayaville, stalking the hallways like a predator on the prowl, but even with the face paint and growling he wasn't a mad dog, he was just a cute little puppy playing pretend. In a matter of minutes, she had corrupted a classroom of at least twenty something kids. Now someone was offering to help her get her creative juices flowing, something as essential to her as breathing. Was she really going to hesitate because it might involve breaking a rule or two?

She smirked in response, kinking an eyebrow, "Isn't that what they were made for?" she asked playfully.

Try as he might, Lucas couldn't get his previous altercation with Maya Hart off his mind. He still wasn't sure exactly how it had come to this or why his blood had a tendency to boil at the mere sight of her, but now that he'd had enough time for his anger toward her to recede, it had quickly been redirected at himself. Granted, everything he'd said to her was true. Having a lab partner whose only contribution was to occasionally snore in his hand had been incredibly frustrating and the idea of resuming such a partnership was certainly a daunting one, especially considering that they were in high school now.

Not only had he been suspended for a year, but he also had a history of violence. If he had any hope of becoming the veterinarian he wanted to be, it would require a lot of hard work and academic excellence on his part. He was willing and able to make whatever sacrifices that goal required of him, but having a partner who doubled his work load would only make that objective more difficult to achieve.

It was just one more way she had come to dominate his very existence.

His friendship with Maya had always come with its share of unnecessary conflict. She enjoyed testing the boundaries of those around her and Lucas was no exception. Despite his protests she had called him every hillbilly moniker she could come up with until he'd eventually given up and taken them on as part of his new identity. She'd invaded his personal space at will and made fun of his southern heritage. When that had bored her she'd moved on to his personality and character, mocking him for trying to be a better version of himself.

Though he didn't appreciate these behaviors he'd stopped taking them personally once he began learning about who she was and how she had become that way. Yes, these behaviors were all a way to amuse herself, but they were also a way to keep anyone from getting close enough to hurt her. Underneath them was a kind and loving person who just wanted to be loved back. That was the part of her he had grown to care for and he believed that in spite of her attempts to keep him at arm's length, she cared about him too. He just hadn't realized how much so.

He'd never had any disillusions about their situation. From the moment Farkle had shouted out the truth on the Mathews' rooftop he had known that at least one of the three of them was going to end up getting hurt, but he had honestly believed that person would be him. Riley and Maya had always been one another's first priority, neither one would knowingly do anything that would cause the other pain. Both had already stepped back from him once in order to make the other happy without ever thinking to ask or consider how he might feel. It had seemed that his own wants and needs were irrelevant and so his happiness out of reach.

Lucas had only wanted to be included. Instead he had been forced into a position where he'd had to make a choice. The choice itself hadn't been difficult. He and Riley had been working their way up to this step for a long time. It was what came after that had proven to the difficult part. He could see the self- fulfilling prophecy in her eyes as he'd said Riley's name, as if she had known all along who he would choose. In that moment he hated himself for what he had unintentionally done to her. He'd known right then and there that whatever connection they'd had was lost to him probably forever. She was rebuilding her walls before his very eyes, making certain he would never see behind them again.

He still carried the pain of that loss and the weight of that guilt.

So did Riley.

The only thing worse than having Maya pull away from him had been knowing that he'd caused her to withdraw from Riley as well. For more mornings than he cared to count he'd arrived to find her sitting at the window with a weary eye out on the street below, just hoping that would be the day Maya would return to her. She did her best to hide it from him, but he knew it was there. He had known when he'd made the choice to be with Riley that he might be forfeiting his friendship with the guarded blonde. Their foundation was new and unstable to begin with, but she and Riles had been friends for half their lives.

Maya's words had poured over Lucas like a large bucket of ice water, instantly returning him to his senses and chilling him to the bone.

Was it possible he had truly come between the two best friends he had ever known?

There was only one person he could think of who might be capable of answering that question…assuming he would even speak to Lucas.

Isadora Smackle was standing in the hallway by her locker when she noticed the tall handsome blonde come striding toward her. Though she cherished Farkle Minkus with every molecule of her being she couldn't deny that the boy in front of her did have the ability to make her body react chemically in superficial ways that occasionally made her uncomfortable in his presence.

"Lucas," she greeted as though she were reprimanding him like a small child.

"Hey Smackle," he smiled awkwardly, never quite sure what to make of their interactions.

The raven haired beauty sighed in an exasperated manner as she tightened her grip on the books in her arms, solidifying the barrier between them.

"This is inappropriate behavior. Not only because I have a wonderful boyfriend whom I adore, but you have a girlfriend now. A girlfriend who, dare I say I might perhaps be in the process of befriending. If you can't maintain a simple conversation without making unwelcome advances toward me, I'll have no choice but to warn her about your wandering eye and flirtatious ways." She scolded.

As usual he had no idea how something as simple as hello had been translated into anything other than a greeting ritual, but he didn't have the time to argue with her over his lack of romantic intentions concerning her either. There was a limited window of opportunity for this conversation to take place and so he needed to get right to the point.

"I know, Smackle. You're with Farkle. I'm with Riley. You have zero interest in me and it's never going to happen. I was just wondering if you could tell me where I might find your "wonderful boyfriend whom you adore so much?"

Her expression suddenly shifted from informative to gleeful, her brown orbs illuminating as her gaze shifted to his right shoulder, or rather who was behind it.

"Farkle dearest!" she stated enthusiastically with a smile, "Lucas was just asking where he might locate you," she declared with a hint of skepticism.

His emerald eyes shifted to meet the stoic face of his former friend.

"Is that so?" he asked, though honestly he couldn't care less if Lucas Friar had wanted to see him or why.

The two boys stood in the hallway, sizing one another up. Though it had only been a few months since they had spoken, they each felt as if they were standing in front of a stranger; neither sure if they liked what they saw staring back at them. Smackle let out a small squeak resembling that off a mouse as she watched Lucas and Farkle stare each other down. She wasn't certain what was about to happen, but she doubted that it was something she needed to be present for.

"I'll just leave you two to do…whatever it is boys do," she said before leaning up to kiss her boyfriend on the cheek and whisper wishes of luck in his ear.

"See ya around Smackle," Lucas waved goodbye, only to have her turn and glare at him sternly in response.

Farkle's blue eyes narrowed in on the person he had once had so much respect and admiration for. He had genuinely liked Lucas and felt sorry for him when both girls had taken a romantic interest in him, as he knew from experience it was not an envious position. Though he had enjoyed having both girls seeking his affections after so many years of pursuit, he'd quickly learned that it came at a price far too precious to pay and had assumed the young man standing in front of him would naturally come to the same conclusion.

"What do you want Lucas?" he asked antagonistically.

The blonde raised his hand, scratching the back of his neck in an agitated manner.

"I need to request a Farkle time," he replied matter-of-factly.

Truthfully, the brunette genius missed Farkle time. He missed standing up and taking over the class, asserting his mental dominance over his peers. While he was still a genius, he was no longer the only one in the school. He wasn't even the only one in his class anymore.

"This is high school. There is no Farkle time here," he responded in similar tone.

Lucas sighed running a hand through his hair.

"Look, I know that I'm not your favorite person these days, but this isn't about me, it's about Riley and Maya…so I humbly request whatever it takes to earn a minute of your time. Please Farkle."

Part of him wanted to say no and leave Lucas to face the consequences of his actions, but he couldn't find it in himself to do that. Not if punishing him meant punishing the girls as well.

"You had me at Riley and Maya. What's wrong with my girls? Besides the obvious," he inquired pointedly.

Lucas's green eyes glinted with annoyance at the accusatory tone of the question, but he said nothing to defend himself. He'd known that Farkle was harboring some very hard feelings against him and that was bound to reflect in this conversation. His temper had already gotten the better of him once that day and he would not allow it to happen a second time.

"Have you been in touch with Maya at all this summer?" He asked cautiously, unsure where else to start.

"How is that relevant?" The genius asked, responding to the blonde boy's question with one of his own.

Already, this discussion was becoming painfully awkward for the both of them. "I'm just trying to figure out if she's cutting everyone out of her life or only certain people," Lucas explained.

For the first time in months Farkle felt the slightest tinge of sympathy for his friend, though it didn't last long. Whatever pain that the boy in front of him was feeling, he had brought it upon himself.

"I'm sorry if you're having a hard time accepting her decision but you were the one that made the choice in the first place. You don't get to tell her how to deal with it. If she doesn't want to talk to you after everything that happened, she has that right."

Instinctively Lucas's jaw clamped as he shifted his head, choking down the angry words fighting to spill out.

"I know that Farkle. Honestly I didn't expect her to forgive me, but I didn't think that she would take it out on Riley."

Farkle's brow furrowed as he considered what he'd just heard. He had only heard from the sassy blonde once or twice in the last few months and she'd been far from forthcoming during those conversations. He hadn't thought much of it though as she'd never been the kind of girl who enjoyed discussing her feelings. Her mind she was always willing to share, but her heart was another matter.

"What do you mean she's taking it out on Riley? Are they fighting?"

It wouldn't be ideal, but it was better than the alternative. Confrontation at least meant that they were acknowledging one another and working through their issues.

"They've barely even spoken in the last three months. Riles is heartbroken about it. She misses Maya and she feels like she's betrayed her even though she didn't do anything wrong. She's terrified that she's going to lose her best friend...and Maya? There's something going on with her too. She's back to sleeping in class and making snide comments. It's like she doesn't care anymore. I thought that she just needed time and then she and Riley would be okay but now...I don't know..." He trailed off, not able to speak the words themselves just yet.

What if she didn't come back?

Riley would never the same without her, and from what Lucas had witnessed in class it seemed Maya needed her just as much.

Farkle nodded as he tried to process the information being presented.

"What makes you think they won't?" He asked, suddenly wishing he'd spent less time resenting Lucas and more time actually being there for his friends. Perhaps he could have helped keep the girls better connected had he not been so consumed with his own feelings about the situation.

Lucas hung his head as he thought back to the way her blue eyes had burned through him as she spoke.

"Something she said in class today. She said that Riley was the good in her. That she was free to rebel and run through the halls because she didn't have a reason to come back anymore. It reminded me of detention last year when she said without Riles she wouldn't come back."

It was even worse than he'd anticipated.

Like Lucas, Farkle had believed that the girls would find their way back together when they were ready to do so. They seemed to have made some progress that day in the window when Maya had opened her letter to the arts program. He had thought the time apart would allow them both the chance to work through their feelings and realize how much they missed one another but for some reason he had apparently predicted wrong. Instead it would appear the trial separation had backfired, eroding their friendship even further.

"She might not," he admitted reluctantly, "and if that's the case it's on you! What did you seriously expect to happen? Did you think that you could mess with the balance of the universe and nothing bad would happen? Do you know how arrogant that is?! Riley and Maya are two halves of one whole. They were made to work together and now the ground is shaking, the sky is crying, everything is falling apart because you were selfish enough to insert yourself between them!"

Lucas had never known exactly why Farkle had frozen him out. He had simply assumed that he was angry about Maya getting hurt and the ramifications his choice had taken on their group of friends. It had never occurred to him that Farkle might be treating him this way because he had obtained the interest of both Riley and Maya when he had never been able to secure that of either. Just the possibility that he had lost his dear friend for such a ridiculous reason infuriated him.

He glared menacingly at his friend, who he would gladly have traded places with the year before.

"I didn't insert myself between them, Farkle. I never wanted to be!" He insisted with one hand on his hip and the other waving around in emphasis.

Farkle returned his threatening posture, finally giving himself permission to say all the things he had been holding back. He'd had a lot of time to reflect the events of the previous year. Though he had defended Lucas in his own argument with Maya he hadn't been able to forget her response. Whether he had acted on it or not, he'd clearly felt something for her in that moment, otherwise it would never have happened.

"You tried to kiss her Lucas!" He shot back angrily.

As much as Lucas wanted to, he couldn't deny that fact. It was the moment that had everything in their relationship had shifted. Everything else that had come to pass had done so because of what had transpired that night by the campfire. He wished he could offer any kind of explanation for his behavior but even after all this time he still didn't have one. It had just happened somehow.

"I don't know why I did that..." He confessed, "but I do know why I didn't go through with it. The same reason why I could never be with her...because it didn't feel right."

There was that twinge of sympathy again. Lucas had been an impossible position but it didn't change the fact that he had made the wrong choice.

"Why can't you get that this wasn't about you?! It's about them! What do you think happens when two forces of nature go up against one another? They tear the whole world apart! The last time they were at odds over a boy Riley locked Maya out of the bay window after Maya put a spider on her head!" He fumed.

Every feature on Lucas's handsome face screamed surprise. The only time he'd ever seen the girls fight was during their project on belief systems and it had only lasted a day.

"When was this?" He inquired.

Farkle had been so busy blaming Lucas, believing he should have known better that he'd forgotten the freak with the perfect face hadn't been there to witness the events he had just mentioned.

"Seventh grade. Some prideful imbecile dared to pursue both girls simultaneously and woo them both. You were out of town that week," Farkle stated. Now that he had taken a step back the fog encompassing his rationality had already begun to clear.

"Who would do that?" Lucas asked incredulously.

Farkle paused a moment before admitting regretfully, "I would."

Lucas nodded in understanding, placing a hand on his buddy's shoulder.

"You obviously did the right thing in the end. I thought I was. I thought, why string her along if I already knew who I wanted? I was trying not to be that guy; you know? Instead I just made it worse. I don't know what's gonna happen now. If they lose each other...what's to stop all of us from losing them too?"

Even without being a genius, Lucas had come to the same startling realization as Farkle. Without each other, Maya would spiral down and Riley would likely disappear.

Lucas had spent his remaining two classes thinking about Riley and battling with his conscience over whether or not he should talk to her about what happened between he and Maya in class that day and the things that had been said in the heat of the moment. He couldn't help but think back to all those times in the beginning when he had assured her that everything would eventually be okay and wondering if he had inadvertently set her up for the biggest disappointment of her life. He would never have made such a promise of he hadn't genuinely believed it and intended to do everything within his power to help it come to pass. He wanted so badly to make things okay for her, but if Maya really was gone for good things might never be okay again for any of them.

If she lost Maya because of him, could they survive that? Or would she blame him the same way he was already blaming himself?

Riley was waiting for him on the steps of the school just as she had promised she would be. Her every feature being kissed by the sunshine as he came toward her. She had no idea how breathtakingly beautiful she could be but he did and as he drew nearer once again he felt an inexplicable stirring inside him. Without so much as a word he strode up to her purposefully, placing a gentle hand on her face and pulling her in for another needy kiss that sent a current rippling throughout his being and down to his very core.

The brunette hadn't been expecting such a passionate greeting and as he took a step back she'd found herself breathless.

"Hi," he whispered tenderly with a smile that inspired one of her own.

"Hi," she replied brushing a stray strand of hair that had fallen from the pile on her head back behind her ear.

"Hi," he repeated feeling both silly and a little sentimental.

She giggled at the moment, thinking back fondly on their more innocent greeting ritual.

"Are you going to kiss me like that every time you see me?" She asked inquisitively a faint blush spreading across her cheeks.

Honestly he had no idea what kept provoking him to behave that way or how long it would last, but the last thing he wanted was to make her uncomfortable. Cautiously he took her hands in his own, needing to feel that connection to her.

"I'm not sure, why? Is it too much?" He asked, afraid of pushing her too far.

Riley entwined their fingers as they began to descend the stairs, leaning her head against his arm. Truthfully, his talk of nearly exploding was very concerning. It didn't sound natural at all. The idea of asking either of her parents about it made her stomach churn and not in the good way. Asking Maya wasn't exactly an option either.

Maya...

There were no words for how much Riley missed her sister. Each morning she awoke to Lucas coming through her window she wondered how everything could feel both so right and so wrong all at the same time. She had grown to love their morning routine of him sneaking into her room before school, but she was still painfully aware of the fact that he was only there because her best friend wasn't. Every day that she spent exclusively with him was another without her true other half.

Her soft brown eyes glanced up at his handsome face, a small smile on the curve of her lips. He looked down just in time to catch her admiring him, the edge of his mouth lifting into a knowing smirk.

"What are you thinking about?" He whispered in her ear, the sensation of his breath against it sending an unfamiliar shiver down her spine.

Riley tilted her head to the side as she considered how much of her thoughts she wanted to divulge. He was her best friend too and there was nothing she couldn't say to him, but some things were easier to live with if she didn't voice them. Like the fact that even though she loved him and enjoyed every moment they spent together she was always simultaneously wishing he were someone else who she had only lost because of her feelings for him. Her joy and guilt had become synonymous since the end of the triangle. She couldn't think of one without the other coming to mind.

Farkle had once said the same of her and Maya.

But those were all thoughts it was easier not to say so instead she smiled warmly and said "I was thinking about how happy I am with you, how glad I am that you came to New York."

That had been only half her thought process though.

Lucas beamed in response, squeezing her hand to signify that he returned that sentiment whole heartedly as he lead her down the street in the opposite direction of home. He had already texted her father and requested permission to spend the afternoon with her. After he had assured Mr. Mathews that they would be in a public place with plenty of adult supervision, his girlfriend's father had reluctantly agreed.

"I didn't see you at lunch today. I thought we were supposed to have that together." She mentioned casually.

Smackle and Zay had of course done their best to keep her company but it wasn't the same. Other than their morning walks together their lunch period was the only time during school they had the chance to spend any time together and it wasn't like Lucas to disappear without warning or explanation. Not that he owed her one.

Lucas fidgeted with his shoulder strap with his free hand, which was the equivalent of her hair tuck. For some reason the comment had made him anxious.

"We do, I just got caught up talking with a friend. I'm sorry." He stammered nervously.

The brunette nodded, observing her boyfriend closely, trying to ignore the knot her stomach had tied itself into. Her fingers brushed an imaginary hair from her face as she spoke.

"You don't have to apologize Lucas. I'm happy that you're making friends in our new school."

He should tell her, shouldn't he? If he didn't she would only continue to wait for a reunion that might never come and the higher she got her hopes up the more that rejection was going to hurt. That was one thing he had learned from experience. Was it fair to let her constantly alternate between worry and hope for a relationship that might already be beyond repair?

But if he did tell her, what might happen then? In Maya's absence Riley had clung to the hope that one day she would return. Hope was a defining trait of his girlfriend, it was part of what made her the person he loved. If he took that hope away from her what would take its place? Guilt? Despair? Self-loathing? Would she be able to keep believing in things like Pluto being a planet or him being a hero? And if she couldn't how could he ever hope for her to believe in them?

"I was actually talking with Farkle," he confessed, her brown orbs growing wide.

The genius had been less than thrilled with their decision to become a couple, but Lucas had born the brunt of his discontent. Over the last three months he had spoken with Farkle even less than she had with Maya. Even Zay had distanced himself from them.

"Good talk or bad talk?" She inquired curiously.

Lucas cracked a small smile that made her want to believe that things were finally starting to improve between the two of them, but she couldn't. There was something in his eyes telling her not to. She couldn't put her finger on what it was or what it meant but she knew that something was clearly troubling her boyfriend.

"Bad at first, but as we kept going it got better. I think he was more upset with the situation in general than he was at us," he suggested hopefully.

They both needed a little hope.

Suddenly they paused in front of a large building. It took a moment for Riley to realize where Lucas had been leading her. She glanced up at the giant pet store sign and then shifted her gaze to his deep green eyes questioningly.

"Is everything okay?" She asked timidly, her mind automatically jumping to all the worst possible conclusions.

Lucas raised her hand to his lips, brushing them softly against her knuckles. He would never lie to Riley but at present he wasn't sure how to honestly answer that question. Maya had been hurt and angry when she said those things. It was likely she hadn't meant those fateful words. He and Farkle had managed to work through their issues. It was entirely possible that she and Riley could still resolve their problems and resume their duet.

"I know you've been struggling the last couple of days and I just wanted to do something to help you feel better so I called the store and one of the pups is getting picked up in about twenty minutes. I thought you might want to say goodbye and watch him find his forever home." He said sweetly.

A surge of pride swelled within him as he watched her brown eyes light up with glee as she tugged on his hand, rushing inside to see which of her furry friends had finally gotten their happily ever after.

It was nearly eleven at night when Maya received the text from Ronnie inviting her out to play. For just a moment she stared down at the message wondering exactly what it was that she had agreed to earlier that day and if perhaps she was once again going too far. Shaking her head as if to rid the thought from her mind she wondered where that had come from. She'd snuck out of her apartment before, on several occasions, and for far less important reasons. What made this time any different from the others? If anything this time was more substantial than any other reason she could have offered in the past. She might be doing the "wrong thing" but she was doing it for the right reason.

She tiptoed carefully down the hall, making certain that Katie was fast asleep in her bedroom and would never even know she was gone before slipping on her black jacket and climbing out her window and down the fire escape where the redhead was waiting at the bottom.

"For a second I thought you might have chickened out on me," she teased as she nudged her young friend.

For a second she almost had, but she wasn't about to admit that. Ronnie was one of the few people who didn't know how messed up her life actually was. She didn't know about Kermit's never-ending milk run or her string of rejections. She didn't look at Maya has the dark to Riley's light or the bad to her good. In her eyes, Maya was a complete person all on her own, which was what she wanted most; to be seen.

The blonde smirked in response, "Then you obviously don't know me very well. I don't mind a little trouble," she declared with playful gleam in her eyes.

Ronnie threw her arm around the girl's shoulders, pulling her close enough to whisper a secret.

"You're only in trouble if you get caught," she shared with a chuckle.

Maya nodded with a smile, doing her best to hide her concern. Ronnie had only said that she had a plan to jump-start the young girl's creativity. She'd never actually disclosed how she expected to accomplish this. Her only clue had been that some rule breaking might be involved. They'd already broken one rule by sneaking out in the middle of the night, but the way her mentor had laughed had filled the young protégé with more questions about where the night might lead.

Before she could process what was happening the redhead took out a silk sash and covered her eyes. The blonde's hands immediately shot up to the fabric in question but she felt someone grab her them and pull them back down. Unable to see, she began to grope around in the darkness searching for her friend…or at least the girl she hoped was her friend. Otherwise she might be in more trouble than she could handle.

"Calm down Baby Bird, Mama's right here," she said, extending her hand just enough for Maya to feel her presence and know she hadn't been left alone. The younger girl grasped desperately at the hand as if begging not to be abandoned.

"Do you trust me or don't you?" she asked with a slight giggle in her voice that made Maya nervous.

Did she trust Ronnie? Maybe she should have asked herself that question before she had disappeared with her into the dead of night without a note or phone call to anyone. In class she had seemed more like a Goddess than a friend, and no one dared question a Goddess.

"Well, in my defense, it's not like I really know you. I mean, you're an amazing artist and you were always nice to me, but it's not like we actually got to know one another or anything," she stammered anxiously, trying to think her way out of the situation just in case things somehow took a turn for the worse.

Ronnie shrugged in reply though Maya was blindfolded so she couldn't see this.

"Okay, so tell me something; something that you'd never tell anyone you didn't trust," she suggested casually.

Maya began twitching her mouth from one side to the other as she considered just how much she was willing to share with her potential captor.

"Like how deep do you wanna go here?" she asked chewing in the inside of her cheek.

The older girl tilted her down almost meeting her left shoulder.

"Well you get whatever you give so I'll leave that up to you," she stated generously.

Honestly Maya didn't have many secrets. She had never been afraid to speak or to act which left very little to the imagination, but there was something…something only Riley knew. Would sharing that information with Ronnie now somehow cheapen her relationship with her best friend? She hoped not, but given that she had put herself in a situation where another person had all of the power and she could only hope this person had her best interest at heart, a little personal information couldn't exactly hurt, could it?

"My dad left me and my mom when I was really little. He just walked out one day and never looked back. Got himself a new house, new wife, some new kids…I went to his house once. It was father's day. I was thinking about him…but I knew he wasn't thinking about me. I hid outside the window just watching them be a family….and then I just left without a word. They never even knew I was there." She trailed off momentarily, pulling herself together, "so anyway that's me…"

The redhead was rendered speechless, not so much by the story itself since she was no stranger to the concept of absentee parental figures and the bad things that happened to decent people, but rather by willingness to open a vein for a virtual stranger. She hadn't been wrong to say that they had never really bothered to get to know one another on a personal level until now.

"I have a half-brother. I've never met him, but I have one. He was born four months after me. He knows about me and I know about him but we don't have anything to do with one another. If anyone asks I tell them I'm an only child but if he ever got a deadly disease or something they'd come groveling at my door because I might have the same DNA. You're not the only one that got left behind." She revealed sympathetically before clearing her throat to remove any remnant of emotion. "There, now we know each other."

Ronnie lead the blindfolded teenager to Bushwick, a working class district on the northern side of Brooklyn. Years ago it had been a farming community but as the city had grown and changed this one area had, much like she and Maya, been neglected and left to fend for itself. That wasn't why she had brought her there though. The art was.

The area itself worked under the mantra of "Paint that wall, tag that spot, sticker that lamp post, and don't get caught. The community was filled with hundreds even thousands of hopeful artists who would line the streets with their work, a service members of the district not only didn't mind, but gave walking tours to display. If ever there was a place to spark one's creative flame, this was it.

Once the blindfold had been removed Maya and Ronnie walked the streets of the city admiring the graffiti and "street" pieces canvassing the walls. They talked about the colors, the techniques, the messages behind each painting. For a fifteen-year-old girl who had only discovered the art world two years ago she had a vast amount of knowledge that not all budding artists possessed. They paused at a wall featuring a woman wearing a bandana over her mouth, holding a spray can and a sign. The quote next to her read "If you want to achieve greatness stop asking for permission."

Maya's blue gaze fixed on the piece, a million thoughts running through her head. She had never thought of herself as someone who asked for permission, but if she was being honest with herself she had to ask what the difference was between that and what she was currently doing, allowing this one man's opinion to define her.

"Do you think any of these people were busy comparing themselves to other artists or trying to prove themselves to anyone?" the older girl asked as she studied her younger friend's expression.

She had a feeling that might be where she was going with this.

"Probably not," the blonde admitted, "they just had something to say and they came out here and said it…but it's not always that simple. Art was never something that I had to think about work at. It was just kind of a happy accident. I was trapped in the library for some stupid school assignment. Our teacher took our phones away and then sent us out there to make a "human connection," but I didn't connect with any of the other students. I just sat there looking out the window, wishing I was anywhere else, and when I finally looked down…there it was. The view from my window and when I looked at it, I didn't feel trapped in the library anymore."

She had never been aware of what her pieces had been trying to say, if they had been trying to say anything at all. She'd never thought about why the door was blue, why Farkle was a bird, or why she'd surrounded Riley in hearts. It wasn't like she had consciously decided on those details. They had somehow decided themselves. Then Mr. Strickler had come along and changed everything she'd ever known about art. She had always believed that art was supposed to be emotive, but he insisted that artists made deliberate conscious choices and that those choices determined what type of artist a person was.

Ronnie smirked knowingly in response. Finally, she was beginning to understand just what had been weighing her poor little Baby Bird down. Being the youngest in the entire program, she would have had to have submitted a promising and diverse portfolio in order to be accepted. Talent was obviously not the issue and a freshman who would even apply for such a prestigious program had to possess a fair amount of confidence in her skill, but Maya had never perceived her talent as a skill. She had separated herself and her inner voice from the pieces themselves believing that someone or something had simply gifted her with them, and now they had taken them away. She didn't realize that the answer to her every question could be found within herself and she'd never believe it if Ronnie simply told her so.

The redhead leaned back against a nearby wall for support as she continued her line of questioning.

"What about our introductory piece for the program? It was the sky on fire, wasn't it? What were you thinking about when you were painting that?"

She hadn't really been thinking anything. Her mind had flitted from one torturous memory to the next but it hadn't been the pictures in her head driving the paint brush. It had been the feelings attached to them.

Maya glanced up to the sky and back down at the words on the wall.

"I was thinking about the stars…how they look so beautiful when they shine through the darkness, but they're only beautiful because they're so far away. If we were to see them up close we'd realize they aren't pretty little lights. They're really just burning balls of fire."

She figured it was a metaphor for something. Maybe it was Lucas, or happiness in general. She wasn't really sure what it was meant to represent but when she had thought of Lucas and Riley and mess they had all made, the image of destruction had been what translated to the page. That's how she had introduced herself into the program.

Ronnie had been watching Maya's expressions shift as she sorted through the thoughts in her head.

"So if you could do the assignment over, would you do it differently?" She asked, sensing that her friend was already halfway to the heart of the matter without even realizing it.

The young girl ran a hand through her long golden hair pondering the question. Was that painting a true representation of herself? Her voice? When she'd been asked for her most intimate secret she hadn't told the redhead of her issues with Riley and Lucas. She had dug much deeper than that to the thing that has defined her the most...her unresolved feelings of abandonment. But that was only one side of the coin. That was the dark, the bad, but where was the light? What good had come from her upbringing despite those feelings?

"Yeah, I think I would. What I submitted wasn't really me. It was just what I was going through at the time." She replied wistfully.

If only there really were such a thing as do overs.

This time Ronnie's smirk was replaced with a genuine smile.

"So Maya Hart is not a burning sky after all, who are you then?"

A radiant grin of her own overwhelmed her features as the image formed in her mind.

"The aurora borealis," she stated proudly.

It was a stark contrast to her original introductory piece and the older girl found herself curious as to where the idea had come from but right now that wasn't the important thing. Right now her focus was on guiding Maya through the process so that she could later retrace it, revealing just how much of herself and her own ability had contributed to her artwork.

"Okay so how would you do it?"

The blonde bit down on her lower lip as a memory replayed in her head. The memory of a little girl and the person she had grown up to be; the parent who had been there and the parent that hadn't.

"I'd start with a silhouette of the New York skyline with some clouds hanging over it like a bad omen or something. Maybe even some lightning," she said as her hands made sweeping gestures to match the scene she described. "And then overhead all these warm, bright colors swirling together, like it's calming the storm you know?" She asked turning back to seek the older girl's approval.

"What colors would you use?" She asked innocently spurring Maya's imagination further.

"I'd do the skyline in black, like a shadow. Maybe gray for the storm clouds. I know they're usually black but black on black doesn't really work..." She mumbled to herself.

Ronnie huffed in frustration seaming the young girl's insecurity creeping in.

"Stop thinking like there's a right or wrong answer. How do you see it?"

Maya closed her eyes, focusing on the picture in her head.

"The skyline would be black. The clouds, maybe a dark purple. The Lightning would be white and it would look threatening like it was attacking the buildings and then the lights would be overhead, breaking up the storm and blanketing the buildings...protecting them from the storm."

Ronnie nodded with a smile, "and the colors?"

Maya paused a moment as she contemplated her options. The lights were the most significant part of the picture. They had to be right.

"Bright, warm colors. Pastels. Blue, green, pink, purple." She rattled off a few.

It was only then as she looked up that she realized Ronnie had gotten distracted by some kind of item in her backpack. The redhead perished through the contents of the bag before meeting her gaze with a wide grin. She reached down and pulled out a spray can of black paint, tossing it in Maya's direction.

"Sounds amazing Hart, now paint it."


	14. 13- Tipping the Scales

**A/N: I know that it's been nearly a month since I updated and I'm sorry it's taken so long. Fortunately, I have worked out a new writing schedule and if all goes according to plan (fingers crossed) I will be updating this story at least twice a month. Every other week to be exact. As always, thank you so much for all your love and support! I'm so grateful for every one of you that takes the time to read this story.**

"Romeo and Juliet, the story of two tragic lovers torn apart by cruel circumstance. Many have called it the greatest love story ever told," Mr. Honeycutt began, but he didn't get very far through the introduction of the material before Riley's hand shot up in objection. Unlike her roll call wave at half mast, this hand raise was proud and tall, demanding to be seen.

Desperately needing a distraction from the voices in her head and all the torturous things they had been whispering to her about her life and the situation she now found herself in, she had thrown herself full force into their first reading assignment. Already being familiar with the play, she had assumed this would only be a refresher subject. However, she had found the opposite to be true. If anything, she was seeing the material through a completely new perspective and now that she had done so, she once again found herself wondering how she ever could have seen it any other way.

The story had revealed things to her about life, love, and herself, but it still had yet to help her forget Lucas's green gaze...or Caleb's hazel one.

"Yes, Miss Mathews?" Their instructor asked curiously.

She smiled weakly in response, silently apologizing for what she was about to do. He had been a teacher for many years and probably did believe what he had been told about the story, just as she had been willing to do in the past. She had no doubt that he wasn't deliberately leading his students astray and the last thing she wanted was to embarrass him or make a nuisance of herself, but she had been raised with integrity, and how could she in good conscience stand back and continue to the world accept such a skewed ideal when she saw how unhealthy it really was? She couldn't…even if it meant disagreeing with Mr. Honeycutt and his analysis.

"With all due respect sir, Romeo and Juliet is not a love story. If anything it's more of a cautionary tale on the adolescent perceptions of love," she stated matter-of-factly.

To her surprise he didn't seem offended by her statement. Instead he nodded with an amused smirk, seemingly pleased to have a student one step ahead of the curriculum. Had she been able to see behind her she would have realized there was someone else who had taken great offense to what she'd said and his hand immediately shot up in defense.

"Romeo and Juliet is a story about hope," he argued, unable to hold back his outburst.

His voice, though low and calm, startled her. It wasn't the voice itself so much as who it belonged to and the way it rang in her ears as though it were already familiar. She had tried to stay away, but there seemed to be no use in it. Life was determined that they should interact somehow and if she wouldn't cooperate then apparently it would intervene.

Taking both their silence as permission to go on, he continued further.

"They were both raised in such hateful environments, by people harboring a senseless grudge; over what they probably don't even remember. These two people had every reason to despise each other. Yet they fell in love instead. How is that cautionary?"

Their teacher nodded again, thinking to himself that this might prove to be a very intriguing battle of wills.

"Another interesting analysis, Mister Fuller. Mathews, care to respond?"

Riley turned back hesitantly to view her adversary. Perhaps this was a good thing? Being at odds with him would certainly help her maintain a safer distance.

"Romeo and Juliet weren't heroes who refused to pick up their family's grudges against each other. They were two hormonal teenagers who didn't even know each other's last names before deciding they would die without each other. They weren't lovers either, you have to be in love to be lovers. Let's not forget at the beginning of the play Romeo is "hopelessly in love," she stated with air quotations, with a completely different girl. One could argue Romeo doesn't even know what love is," she pointed out, further poking holes in his interpretation.

Caleb examined his opponent carefully. He hadn't expected this argument from her. Granted, he didn't actually know her, but he had seen her around, and was finding it difficult to reconcile the things he had previously seen with the words currently coming from that perfectly enticing mouth.

"One could also argue that Romeo didn't know what true love was until he met Juliet," the young man countered. "Yes, at the beginning he thinks he is in love with Rosaline, until he finds true love with Juliet. Not only does he completely forget the first girl, he defies his entire family to be with her."

Riley's evil brain automatically drew a painful parallel to the events of the previous year. Not only had Lucas completely moved on from whatever he thought he had felt for her, he had overcome mountains for Maya, when the smallest of hills had deterred his attempts at a romantic relationship with her. The only difference she could really see was that unlike Rosaline, she had actually wanted Lucas. She had loved him. The fact that he had moved on so quickly and easily had left her with only one conclusion. He had never loved her back.

That was where the similarities between her world and Shakespeare's had ended, thankfully.

Her usually soft brown eyes stared him down skeptically. She understood how she had been naive enough to believe this interpretation for so long but how could he? Sure, she understood the appeal of seeing things through romanticized notions, and honestly the world was a happier place when living in that fantasy, but it only made it hurt that much more when the real world demanded to be seen for what it was. He might hate her for this now, but he would thank her for it someday.

"He didn't defy anybody. He snuck around behind everyone's back to marry her and then for a wedding present he kills her cousin and gets himself banished for their honeymoon," she shot back vehemently, clasping her hands together and clutching them to her chest pretending to swoon. "How romantic," she feigned.

This was not Caleb's first glance at the material either. In fact, he probably knew it backwards, forwards, and inside out by this point in his life. He'd begun reading the story for the sword fights, but in the end it had been the poetry and the ideals that he had fallen in love with. Romeo and Juliet weren't perfect. He couldn't deny both had made their share of mistakes, but together they'd had a perfect love; the kind worthy of great sacrifice and he'd come to the conclusion that all of mankind would be lucky to find a love like that. This beautiful temptress was attacking something very dear to him.

His hazel eyes darkened in hue as his frustration grew, drawing her in once more. This was why she had been afraid to face him.

"His best friend had just been murdered, because of his family's feud with the Capulets. He had to defend his honor," he exclaimed, his voice still low, yet intent.

She had felt badly for Romeo during that part of the story. Even after everything that had happened if someone had taken Maya away from her she wasn't sure she could live with that. She wasn't sure she could stop herself from hating the person that had done so, and Riley Mathews was not the kind of person to hate anyone. She could understand hating the world, hating the person who had taken her best friend away. She could understand mourning the loss of that person for the rest of her life because she loved her best friend. What she couldn't wrap her brain around was allowing that hatred to justify hurting others she loved.

"He loved his friend, and maybe doing what he did made him a good one, but it didn't make him a very good husband. If he had really loved Juliet and being with her was so important to him he should have stopped to think about how his choices were going to affect her."

Again that hateful voice in her head began whispering. She knew that Lucas cared about her on some level and had never meant to hurt her. She also knew how amazing her sister was and how much she deserved happiness, but had being with Maya really been worth jeopardizing everything between the three of them and their group of friends? From what she had heard and observed there were still a lot of hard feelings between everyone involved. His choice might have made him a great boyfriend to her best friend...but what kind of friend had it made him?

Caleb watched as her expression softened momentarily. There was still a passionate resolve in her eyes that told him she genuinely believed everything she was saying, but there was also something else, something gentler. He found her contradictory nature fascinating.

"Okay, yes, he could have thought things through a little better but he was driven by guilt and grief. He wasn't thinking clearly. But he was willing to risk his life to come back for her after being banished-" he was halfway through his response when Riley cut him off.

"Which he wouldn't have had to do if she had really loved him," she insisted, provoking him further.

He leaned up to the edge of his seat over his desk as far as he could go. Why was she so hell bent on twisting the events of the story?

"They loved each other. He didn't want to leave her. She had to push him into going to Mantua-"

The brunette had turned her entire body toward the aisle, one arm on the back on her chair, the other planted firmly on her desk, allowing her to focus on her opponent. She'd had disagreements before with pretty much everyone in her circle but there was an unfamiliar simmer in her veins at the moment fueling her contempt for his perception of the fictional couple.

"Which she wouldn't have had to do had he not killed Tybalt," she reminded.

Feeling their discussion was shifting from constructive debate to something more contentious, Mr. Honeycutt raised his hands on either side as though trying to separate the two students. Perhaps it was best to get back to the lesson plan.

"Guys," he interrupted but both Riley and Caleb seemed far too consumed with their dispute to notice he had spoken.

"And even after he did that she forgave him and wanted to protect him. They gave their very lives to be together, how can you say that's not love?"

There had been a time when she would have called it love, but she knew things now that she hadn't before.

"Because it was completely unnecessary! They didn't have to die to be together. If either one of them had been willing to stand up for their relationship and accept the consequences of their actions, no one would have had to die. Sure, they might have been disowned but they would have been together and alive! Instead they chose to sneak around and play dead, which ironically enough is what ended up pushing them into killing themselves."

The teacher stepped into the aisle between them, his hands signaling a time out. "Those are both very interesting arguments and certainly things to keep in mind as we go over the material," he declared in an attempt to diffuse the situation.

"Yes, Mr. Honeycutt," they both mumbled in reply, taking one last glacé at each other.

Farkle's cerulean gaze shifted from Caleb to Riley, and back again. Admittedly, he was far from a genius when it came to feelings. He had been so certain that Lucas liked the bubbly brunette he had loved since the first grade. Never had he imagined that Lucas would choose the equally mesmerizing and alluring Maya Hart. Never had he imagined that Lucas would choose at all. Or that he would ever have to. He had miscalculated every step of the way, which made him question his own judgement as well.

This new version of Riley Mathews continued to perplex him, especially in reference to her interactions with their fellow classmate Caleb Fuller. There was no denying that Riley had changed. At first glance it had appeared as though the former version of herself was completely gone, until she had crashed into him. The smile, the hair tuck...for just a moment she had seemed like her again, which was strange enough since he had only ever seen her react that way to one person.

This latest development was just as confounding as the original reaction, however opposite in nature. Their first interaction had revealed her core traits that had somehow survived her transformation. This one had shown him just how much she had changed in that small amount of time. At no point during their discussion had she mirrored her former self. She had, however, resembled a certain blonde rebel without a cause they both knew and loved.

He wasn't sure what had just transpired before his eyes, but as he caught that last look between his friend and the way the boy's lips had twisted into an admiring smirk, he had a feeling he might have just witnessed something important.

He let out an involuntary "huh," in response.

If only he knew what it meant.

Perhaps it was time he got to know their new classmate a little better.

Riley had always been a sensible person. For more years than she cared to recall she had lived inside her mind; always thinking, analyzing, worrying. Yet for someone who had spent so much time considering the consequence of every word and action, she had given very little thought to the repercussions of deciding to become another person…until she was living them. The trouble with reinvention was that she no longer had a gauge of "normal" behavior because she now lacked a definition of character. Riley Mathews no longer knew who she was or what she was capable of; a fact that once would have terrified her but it didn't, which in and of itself was surprising. What stunned her even more was that she enjoyed it and doing so did not frighten her either. That was terrifying.

Over the summer she had feared all her efforts might be thwarted once she returned to the city and her day to day life. That hadn't happened though. Not only had she not fallen back into familiar habits, but she was continually shocking everyone around her, especially herself.

Something was happening to her, something that she didn't understand. In her entire thirteen years of existence Riley Mathews had been a sensible girl. Her mind ever present and vigilant. Even when choosing to act, that voice was always there in the back of her head whispering thoughts she couldn't ignore but that voice of reason hadn't been there when she had been arguing with her best friend. She had called Maya lazy, unfair, and even hypocritical. The voice would never have allowed her to say those things even if there had been truth in them, but in that moment there were no worries or objections nagging from the corner of her mind.

Was this what it felt like to act without thought?

Was this what she had been aspiring to all those times she had wished to be more like her best friend who never thought and never worried?

No, not exactly. In the heat of the moment perhaps, but she had regretted the words later that evening. Once Maya had climbed down the fire escape and returned to her own home or to Lucas or wherever she now went, the brunette had agonized for hours as to whether or not she had gone too far and what might happen to their friendship now that everything had changed.

Some part of her clearly still retained that sense, it just had a tendency to fly out the window whenever Caleb Fuller was in close proximity, though he was a predicament of a completely separate nature. With Maya there had been no voice, no thought process. With Caleb she could hear her brain screaming to proceed with caution, her body simply refused to heed it's warning. The first time she had looked up into those hazel eyes she'd felt a compelling urge to get lost in them. She'd experienced that feeling only once before and this time she recognized the danger she was in. That thought should have scared her, would have scared her. Instead she found it thrilling. Which was exactly why he had to be avoided at all cost. She couldn't trust herself around him.

The final bell rang and the school day was declared at an end. The students gathered up their belongings and began to file out the door, Caleb trailing just behind Riley and Farkle at the back of the line. The remainder of class his thoughts had been spent on the ever tempting brunette in the first row and how he could possibly find a way to endear himself to her.

Maya and Lucas were standing by the lockers, hand in sweaty uncomfortable hand, when they spotted their peers coming through the door. Her blue eyes grew wide as a cat in the cream grin encompassed her features as she noticed a very attractive stranger talking with her friends as they entered the hall.

"Boing!" she exclaimed with a spring in her voice.

Lucas's green eyes rolled in the back of his head as his shoulders slumped.

"Do you have to use that one too?" he practically whined in response.

The blonde tossed her boyfriend a look of pure afterthought.

"I wasn't talking about you," she said with a smirk.

"Then who were you…" his voice trailed behind as his gaze followed that of his girlfriend and landed on Riley and the stranger he'd seen her with in that same hallway only the day before. For just a moment he stood frozen in horror. He had known, of course, that this would happen, but knowing and seeing were two very different things. The brunette smiled warmly as she approached, focusing her attention on her sister, who seemed much more interested in the meat suit with the dreamy eyes behind her.

"Hey Riles, who's your new friend?" she asked flashing him a dazzling smile.

Riley had always known Maya to be confident and forward, but now she had a boyfriend. And not just any boyfriend; she had Lucas. Why would she jeopardize their relationship by behaving so inappropriately? Why would she risk hurting him that way? And why did she insist on only throwing herself at guys Riley was either attracted or related to?

Not that she was attracted to Caleb.

"Oh, he's not really- "she could already see the blonde's wheels turning and had planned to put an end to that thought, whatever it might be, before it even began. Unfortunately, she didn't get the chance to finish her sentence, let alone encourage distance between him and her friends.

He leaned in close to Riley's side as he extended his hand for Lucas to shake, interchanging his glance between the two. "Caleb Fuller; defender of Shakespeare, wooer of women, and in my spare time your friendly neighborhood film nerd." He said with a grin that made Riley lock her knees for support, just in case.

Maya twirled her golden strands around her fingers, seemingly to have forgotten her boyfriend who was standing right next to her. "Nerds don't look like that," she sassed. Lucas stood there completely mortified. Honestly he wasn't sure which unnerved him more, the way his girlfriend was shamelessly throwing herself at another guy right in front of him, or the fact that it seemed to upset Riley more than it did him. He was however certain that he was beginning to despise that particular hallway.

"Really?" he asked the blonde standing next to him, revealing his frustration at the situation, as he pulled his hand back from the stranger after shaking it begrudgingly.

"Well they don't," she tossed her defense over her shoulder.

Riley felt like Bambi in the meadow, eager to flee at the sound of gunshot. Yet all she could do was stand there and fight the urge to run as Caleb invited himself into her inner circle and Maya handed him the key. This was awkward and wrong on so many levels.

"We have English class together," she explained matter-of-factly, hoping her explanation would suffice, though judging by her best friend's reaction that wasn't likely.

"Lucky you," said friend mused with a twinkle in her blue eyes.

Her gaze shifted to the boy standing beside her, accusation in those deep brown eyes that had first enchanted him.

"Why would you let her think you and I are friends? We barely know each other."

He didn't know her as well as he would like, but he fully intended to remedy that.

The boy leaned in closer meeting her gaze with equal intensity as he spoke.

"Well then I guess I'll just have to persuade you to be my friend so that you don't make a liar out of me," he stated almost teasingly.

Staring into his eyes was like a game of Russian roulette. She knew that she shouldn't do it. Even if the bullet didn't pierce her heart at the moment, she was tempting fate each time she played. He was playing too, daring her to turn from him, which for a reason she couldn't explain only made her more determined not to.

Instead she quirked an eyebrow with a coy smirk of her own.

"I'm not even sure I like what I know of you so far," she challenged.

Farkle stood back silently observing Riley with a puzzling expression. Her words claimed to have no interest in their fellow classmate. Her behavior on the other hand, if hostility were in fact indicative of interest as Lucas and Maya's courtship had led him to believe, was saying something completely different. Not only was she openly flirting with the guy, but she was doing so in front of Lucas. That had to mean something. He just wasn't sure what yet.

The genius wasn't the only one noticing the brunette's playful behavior. Lucas was too and was none too pleased with the sight before him. He wanted to punch a wall or kick a tree. He wanted to scream at the top of his lungs, but he couldn't do any of those things. He couldn't even scratch his neck without sending the wrong message. All he could do was stand there and watch it happen.

"Not possible, Riles likes everybody," Maya reasoned.

Yep, he definitely hated that hallway.

"Not everybody," the blonde boy countered.

Her blue eyes narrowed at her boyfriend in response, a question forming in them.

"Name one person she genuinely dislikes," she insisted, not bothering to wait for a reply. "Can't think of any, can you?"

Of course he couldn't. She was Riley. She saw the good in everyone. He was the one who was able to dislike people, but the only people he seemed to dislike were people who hurt his friends and guys who took a romantic interest in the beautiful brunette standing before him. And he wasn't allowed to dislike anyone for the second reason anymore.

Farkle found the banter between Maya and Lucas equally confusing. Granted, he didn't know much about relationships. The only observations he had to go off of were his own in his relationship with Smackle and that wasn't a fair comparison. He and Isadora were both geniuses with the ability to rule the world. Maya and Lucas lacked their mental superior reasoning. The source of the tension he was sensing remained unclear, but the knowledge that it was concerning did not.

"Not liking someone and disliking them aren't necessarily the same thing," he pointed out.

Caleb cocked his head toward Riley, continuing their little game.

"You liked me plenty the last time we talked," he recalled self-assuredly.

Her mouth fell open at his denunciation. He wasn't exactly wrong but she had no intention of confirming his claim. Alarm bells sounded in her head once again, as they always did when he was near. She needed to put an end to it.

"I-I did not," she insisted, though there was a small hesitation between words that she feared gave her away.

Caleb only smiled at her effort, once again urging her forward.

"You sure acted like you did, all cute and fidgety," he replied.

The girl instinctively lifted her hand, preparing to remove the chocolate tresses from her face. Maya watched her friend squirm under duress and wondered if perhaps there wasn't more to Riley and this strangely hot self-proclaimed nerd. Feeling blue eyes probing her she grew self-aware and dropped her hand before completing the gesture, causing one blonde to smile and the other to reach for the back of their neck.

Riley stared the muscular brunette down as her audience continued to observe. "Now you're exaggerating," she insisted. Though as badly as she hated to admit it he probably wasn't. She had felt like her old bumbling self at the time. She had probably also behaved as such.

Lucas felt sick to his stomach. It was Charlie Gardner all over again. Except not really because when she had been with Charlie there had still been something unfinished between them. He had since then made a choice and forfeited any claim he had once had on her; a realization that offered no comfort.

"Did she do the hair tuck?" Maya asked inquisitively. She had been hoping that someone would come along who could teach Riley about feelings and their unpredictability. Was it possible that she had gotten her wish?

The green eyed boy already knew the answer to that question because he had been there to witness it and had no interest in being forced to relive it.

"I don't think that's really-" Lucas began to object. Why was his girlfriend so interested in their encounter anyway?

Caleb turned his hazel orbs from the petite blonde toward the ever lovely object of his discussion. "She did actually, and she blushed," he looked into the face of his hallway siren as he declared "it was adorable."

She wasn't sure if it was the look in his eyes or the way his words rolled off his tongue that caused her stomach to flip over, but whatever it was, it was hazardous to her well-being.

"I was nervous because I had just assaulted you in the hallway. Being nice was the difference between murder and manslaughter charges!" Riley exclaimed.

This did nothing to deter Caleb. A besotted grin, much different from his cocky smirk appeared on his face.

"Now who's exaggerating," he jested with a small nudge of her shoulder.

Lucas's jaw clenched involuntarily. He used to do that with her.

Her brown eyes grew in size as her mouth fell open. "I do not exaggerate," she insisted. "I may embellish at times but I do not exaggerate," she stated emphatically.

Finally, Farkle turned his gaze to the stranger, acknowledging his presence. "She's the least dramatic person on the face of the earth," he deflected, studying the boy's reaction.

Zay turned the corner taking note of the congregation in the hall. He jogged up next to Lucas and slung a lazy arm around his friend's shoulders.

"Y'all started without me?!"

Lucas craned his neck as he removed his childhood buddy's arm from his body. He felt bad about abandoning his friend, but he couldn't take it anymore. He had to get out of there and fast before he said or did something he might later regret.

"As much as I would love to stay and listen to you two _not_ exaggerate, the day is over and I'm going home," he grumbled sarcastically before walking away.

A shadow of confusion crossed Maya's face momentarily. She didn't really want to go after him but she felt as though she should. Wasn't that something that a good girlfriend would do? It's definitely what Riley would have done had he chosen her.

"Guess that's my cue," she sighed, examining her friend and the guy next to her once more. "Don't be a stranger nerd," she called over her shoulder as she ran to catch up with Lucas who had already rounded the corner.

Zay stood motionless with a befuddled look on his face. Why was everyone running away when the party had just arrived?

"We've got to meet a friend," Riley reminded Farkle and Zay, desperate for any reason to escape the hall. It wasn't a lie. Isadora really was waiting for them.

The attractive young man flung his hand over his chest, mimicking Riley's gesture from the debate.

"Alas, parting is such sweet sorrow," he recited dramatically, pleased when a impish smile graced her lips.

She shook her head at him with a small lighthearted giggle.

"See you in class Romeo," she said with a halfhearted wave.

His hazel eyes glinted with amusement. "Count on it, Juliet," he replied, bidding her farewell until the next day.

Farkle and Zay both nodded their goodbyes to the guy before following Riley down the hall. Zay whispering to Farkle "why do I get the feeling I just missed a really great story?"

The genius smiled in response. "I don't know about great, but it is interesting," he admitted as they made their way out front to meet Smackle. Thank goodness their relationship wasn't nearly as complicated!

The moment Lucas rounded the corner his priority shifted from protecting the girls and his relationships with them to protecting himself. He had dutifully stood there between them masking his agony as this stranger had inserted himself into their already rather complicated situation, but now that he was alone he'd given himself permission to acknowledge the chaos within. He could hear his heartbeat pounding in his ears as he continued his trek, each stride becoming longer and more deliberate until he was no longer walking but rather storming away. There were a thousand different feelings coursing through his system during that conversation that he needed to distance himself from, but of course it was no use.

They were forbidden, unspeakable, and threatened to ruin everything, but they were very much present and relentless. If he couldn't escape them then he'd have no choice but to face them, and honestly he wasn't sure he could handle that. He had always considered himself the protector of his friends. He was as strong as a horse and very intimidating when he wanted to be, but he had learned long ago that all his strength and bravado were no match for the blonde's fire or the brunette's summer rain, both of which held an inexplicable power over him.

He, like everyone else, had been completely defenseless against Maya Hart. Her beauty, her fearlessness, her lack of respect for personal space, had overwhelmed his senses from the start. Everything about her demanded notice and so notice her he did. Though it was kind of impossible not to when she was less than an inch away from his face calling him names and making jokes at his expense; a little game in an attempt to break through his calm demeanor. At first her desire to "break him" had seemed harmless and amusing, until he had realized that she could in fact provoke the beast within he'd tried so hard to tame and had successfully managed to do so on several occasions. He'd fought to rise above those primal instincts, but like the blonde who encouraged them, they demanded to be acknowledged until he'd no longer felt he had a choice and allowed her overpowering nature to consume him.

But where was that all-consuming power when it came to Riley Mathews?

Maya had a way of creeping under his skin. She made his heart race and his blood boil. She challenged him mentally, physically, and emotionally, but it was Riley who inspired him. She was equally stunning with her long brown hair and soft chocolate eyes, but that wasn't what had drawn him toward her and set her apart. It had been her quiet strength and childlike spirit which he'd found so alluring. Where the first girl had been determined break him down, this girl had been set on building him up to the sky, and not just him. Everyone surrounding her was better for her influence. She had become part of him; the voice in his head guiding him when he felt lost, the erratic rhythm of his heart when it skipped a beat, which it only did for her. He had assumed that by choosing Maya she would claim every part of him, but his devotion for Riley remained untouchable despite both their efforts. Not even their undeniable something wasn't enough to eradicate the bubbly brunette from his soul.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

It was supposed to be him and Riley.

Or him and Maya.

It was definitely NOT supposed to be him and Riley AND him and Maya, AND Riley and Maya WITH this new guy Caleb!

He was so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn't heard the blonde calling to him from behind. It wasn't until her dainty hand was on his shoulder, once again forcing him to notice her existence, that he realized she had followed him. Her chest heaved up and down as she panted from the unexpected exertion, her short legs working to match his long strides. His green eyes lifted from her labored breathing to her parted lips and bright crystal blue eyes.

"You wanna tell me what that was about?" She asked, though in his mind it sounded more like an accusation which he was in no mood for. Perhaps he should have been grateful that she had cared enough to come after him, but at the moment all he could see were flashes of green and red, and he knew inevitably what was about to happen.

His expression grew hard and his eyes narrowed, the memory of her behavior bubbling to the surface of his subconscious.

An eerie sense of déjà vu washed over, like a sailor sensing a storm approaching as she braced herself for whatever argument they were about to have. She honestly didn't mind the fighting so much. Sure, she had hated listening to her parents do it, but disagreeing with Lucas didn't hurt her the way listening to her mom and dad had. That was just who they were together and though neither would ever come out and say it, they both enjoyed the little dance they did.

"I could ask you the same question," he replied heatedly as he stared down at her, eyes burning with contempt.

She scoffed in disbelief at his feeble opening.

"What is that supposed to mean?" She fired back, glaring up into those dark embers shamelessly.

His nostrils began to flare at the mental image of her twirling her hair with that flirtatious glint in her eyes.

"It means you were completely inappropriate back there," he said, his voice dripping in acid.

"First you were throwing yourself at him like you didn't even have a boyfriend and then you began forcing him toward Riley when she was clearly uncomfortable with the situation," he growled in response.

This time it was the memory of Riley and her flirtatious behavior that taunted him.

"Do you even know what you want Maya?!" he demanded indignantly.

Did he?

He wasn't sure if she was attempting to go pokerfaced or if it was a natural reaction. Her blue eyes steeled against him, shutting him out completely, but her confident smirk fell into a thin line at his words.

"Is this about you and me or you and her?" she asked suspiciously.

He couldn't help but notice that she had managed to avoid his question.

"Both!" he insisted. "Do you honestly not see how they're connected? We completely wrecked our circle of friends. We turned Riley into a completely different person. Farkle punched me in the face and I slammed him against a wall. All for us to be together! You said you wanted to be my girlfriend. You said you wanted to act like a couple. Part of acting like a couple is not flirting with other guys right in front of me!"

Not only had she disrespected their relationship and the sacrifices they had both made, she had also disrespected Riley's pain, and Lucas wouldn't stand for that.

Her mouth curved into a teasing smirk as she moved forward, playing with the opening on his shirt, grazing her fingertips against his chest. She cocked her head to the side, watching him try to resist her, knowing he would soon give in as he always did. He was helpless against her and they both knew it.

"So what I'm hearing is that I should only flirt with other boys when you're _not_ standing next to me?"

Why was it so easy for her to twist his anger into something else; something equally sinister in nature? His facial expression remained stern, displaying the seriousness of what he'd said, but already his green orbs were growing dark as she stoked the fires within. The ace in her back pocket was once again reigning supreme.

She could see his resolve crumbling.

"You wanna come back to the apartment?" she offered suggestively.

Yes.

No.

He couldn't let her win this time.

"Actually I'm gonna head back to my place," he stated shakily summoning every ounce of inner strength he possessed. "You're welcome to join though."

She threw her head back in defeat with a sigh.

"I think I'll pass," she said dismissively.

He wrapped his hands around her waist, attempting to use her own tactics against her.

"Come on Spitfire," she winced internally at the name. Though she'd given him permission to call her those things she still despised them. "You're my girlfriend now. Don't you think you should get to know my parents a little?"

He hadn't asked his parents' opinions on his decision nor had they offered any, but if she was going to be such a big part of his life it only made sense that they all make an effort, didn't it?

She casually shrugged his question away.

"I've met your parents. Briefly."

He forced a chuckle at her response.

"For like five minutes. Come on please? For me?" he pleaded in vain.

Her blonde curls bounced this way and that as she rejected the idea.

"Five minutes is more than enough, trust me. I'm easier to love from a distance." She reasoned.

Her sapphire eyes lost their gleam slightly as she muttered, "just ask my dad," before forcing another smile and kissing her boyfriend goodbye, with no real resolution between them. As they parted ways both were oddly grateful for the evening apart. They each had a lot they needed to think about and neither seemed to do very much of that whenever the either was around.

* * *

Maya's eyes drifted down to the spray can in her hand, the reality of their situation beginning to sink in. Of course Ronnie hadn't blindfolded her and brought her to a remote alleyway full of illegal street art just to build up her confidence and inspire her. She had brought her there to spur her into action.

"This was your plan?" She asked, her voice quivering at the realization

Perhaps trusting this girl had been a mistake after all. Yes, they had some things in common, but there were also apparently some vey glaring differences between them as well. She had always been told that she had no sense of boundaries but even she knew this was going too far.

The redhead shrugged as she began removing more cans from her bag. "You said you were cool with breaking a few rules," she reminded casually, as if there were anything casual about what she was suggesting Maya do.

Her blue eyes finally lifted to meet her mentor; a mixture of shock and offense on her face.

"Exactly! You said we would be breaking rules! This," she exclaimed lifting the spray can, "this is breaking the law!"

The redhead began separating the cans by color, clearly undeterred by the previous declaration. Her hands continued to work placing the ones Maya had described on one side, the rest on the other.

"Talking and observing isn't enough. If you really want to be an artist you have to be bold, take chances. You can't be afraid to do something crazy. You asked me to help you get over the doubt, this is how," she stated shaking one of the cans in preparation. "By creating. So Hart, are you an artist or are you just a girl who likes to paint?" She asked with a kink of her brow.

Maya had been asking herself that same question for months, ever since the letter for that program had arrived. Mr. Strickler hadn't come out and said she should give up but he had certainly said enough to imply it. She glanced up again at the words on the wall. If she had any hope of becoming the great artist she aspired to being she had to stop asking for permission.

So why was she still hesitating?

There was a voice in the back of her head telling her not to do it. The wall was property of the city. There was a law to protect it, and were she to violate that law and be caught there would be cops to enforce that law. She could be fined for money she and her mother didn't have. She could be put on probation or in juvenile detention. There were at least twenty different ways for this idea to come back on her negatively.

She blinked once, then twice, as her brain swirled with all the possible repercussions. Sure, in theory it sounded liberating and audacious, and she'd be lying if she said that the idea itself didn't appeal to her. It would probably even be fun tagging the wall, painting on such a large canvass and exciting to be doing something she knew she shouldn't.

But was it really worth risking her entire future over?

"Isn't there some other way we can work through my blockage? Some way that doesn't possibly end with us in matching jump suits in a jail cell somewhere?" she exclaimed as her hands flung about dramatically.

Ronnie studied the girl from the corner of her eye, sizing her up. After a moment of quiet reflection, she began packing the cans back into the bag. Once she had finished loading up her supplies she stood up and slung the strap over her shoulder before turning to meet Maya's crystal blue eyes, pleading with her for alternatives.

"Maybe Strickler was right about you after all, Baby Bird," she said with a sigh.

The blonde's eyes grew wide, threatening to well with tears.

"How-how can you say that to me? You, of all people, know how much that hurts me. Why would you say that? Just because I'm not willing to plaster spray paint on a wall that somehow makes me less of an artist than you?!" she demanded, her voice trembling with fury, though it was all for naught.

The redhead showed no sign of sympathy or remorse for her hurtful words. Instead her grey eyes focused in on the younger girl unapologetically.

"Look, don't me wrong. You have plenty of potential, but for some reason you're squelching it. You like to think of yourself as this free spirited rebel without a cause, and there might even be some fire buried somewhere deep underneath that prim and perfect exterior, but you've got no guts, no sense of adventure. Strickler was right when he said that your self-portrait didn't make sense. Who you think you are and who you actually are…they're not the same. And my guess is until you decide which one of the two you want to be your art is going to continue to suffer."

Maya's heart dropped to her stomach.

"No, no, I can't stay like this. I have to be able to paint, to sketch. I can't just stare at an empty page for the rest of my life.

The older girl began walking past her toward the exit. She felt bad for the little girl playing dress up and guilty for offering her what had turned out to be nothing more than false hope. She knew what it was like to need that outlet and not have it. It was a torture that she wouldn't wish on anyone, but she couldn't help her with this. She couldn't tell her who she was or should be. That was something her young friend was going to have to discover on her own.

She turned around to face the petite blonde, leading them out of the alley backwards.

"I feel for you kid, I really do- "she began but was quickly cut off.

"Then help me!" she exclaimed desperately, not willing to accept another teacher giving up on her. "There has to be something else I can do!"

Ronnie's expression grew determined as she paused to explain.

"There's nothing else I can do, but there is something you can do. If you want to be an artist decide to be one. Try something new. Do something different. Make a decision and be willing to own it, no matter the outcome. People with nothing to say have nothing to put on canvass. You have something to say you're just too scared to say it," she advised before turning back around and guiding Maya back to the subway station that would take her home.

She had honestly thought she'd sensed a kindred spirit in the younger girl and she wasn't entirely convinced that she hadn't. There was passion in her, and flickers of daring. They simply needed to be released from whatever prison she was holding them captive in. She couldn't have always been this way. No shell of a human being could have created the pieces in her portfolio. She'd had a voice and no hesitation in letting it be seen once not so long ago.

The ride back into her neighborhood was spent in silence, as was the walk back to her apartment building. They stood awkwardly at the bottom of the fire escape neither one sure what they should say. Unable to find words the blonde gave a lifeless wave of farewell before beginning her climb up the ladder.

The redhead stood below sucking on the inside of her cheek. She genuinely wanted to help and she hated the idea of leaving her friend with such discouraging words.

"For whatever it's worth, I hope you figure things out. I'd really like to see that painting you described tonight," she called up into the air, eliciting a weak smile from above.

Maya would give anything to see that picture as well, she just wasn't sure that she ever would. If she couldn't find a way past whatever was causing this block of hers then neither of them would ever see it.

As she climbed through her bedroom window she found herself thinking about the things Ronnie and Mr. Strickler had said about her not being who she thought she was. They were both practically strangers, how could they possibly know who she was or who she wasn't? She was Maya Penelope Hart; the walking, talking definition of sensibility, the bad influence, the girl who could not be tamed. That's who she had always been. She hadn't changed. Everything else might have but she hadn't. In the last three months she had lost her sister, her friends, her confidence and even her art, but she was still her, just a more insecure a lonely version of herself.

It wasn't that she believed what they had said. She couldn't. She wouldn't. It was just that their assessment had created a question in her mind that she couldn't seem to drive out no matter how hard she tried. If she wasn't her anymore, at least the version of herself that she had always known, then who had she become and most importantly was there a way to reconcile the two?

Isaiah Babineaux tip toed over to the desk where Maya lay with her head nestled in the makeshift pillow her arms had formed upon entering the classroom carefully considering his options. Both his Mama and his Gammy had always told him never to poke a sleeping bear, and though he knew they'd meant it figuratively he couldn't help but look back on that advice as he neared her slumbering figure. He'd spent enough time with her over the summer to know that Maya Hart was not a morning person and did not like to be wakened before she was ready. Unfortunately, someone had to do it and since he was the only friend she had in that class he figured that someone would have to be him.

"Maya?" he whispered loudly, but of course she didn't stir.

"Maya," he called again, this time in a sing song voice he hoped would sooth her homicidal tendencies if by chance she did wake that easily.

Still nothing.

Taking a deep breath, he stepped forward, gently shaking her shoulder before darting backward out of her reach.

"Rise and shine sleeping beauty," he announced loud and clear from what he considered a safer distance.

Maya groaned in response, lifting her head just enough to send him a glare sharp as daggers.

"No rising…no shining. Still sleeping," she mumbled already lowering her head back onto the desk.

Zay grinned nervously as he glanced over at their teacher Mr. Collins; a man who was basically a slightly taller version of the dwarf grumpy in both body and disposition. He stood disapprovingly with his arms folded, clearly not amused with either one of his students. He only had one lunch hour and was not about to waste his valuable time with the lazy or cowardly.

He could have just left her there to face the man's wrath alone, but that wasn't the kind of person or friend he was. He'd promised to always be on her side and given his word to the others that he would look out for her until she was ready to return to the fold. For these reasons, as well as his own deep regard for the girl, he stepped forward once again jostling her awake.

"Maya Penelope Hart," he scolded, wincing as this time she jerked upright immediately, fisting his shirt in her hand.

"You did not just say that in front of the entire class," she growled menacingly as he threw his hands in the air protectively.

"No I did not," he stated matter-of-factly wondering how such a tiny and gorgeous creature could possibly be so intimidating. Only then did she take notice of the empty desks surrounding them. The fury in her eyes began to fade as she realized that she had once again slept through class and there was no one else there to hear them.

Feeling that he'd indulged the two of them long enough he stepped forward clearing his throat as though he were making some great announcement.

"Mr. Collins, -" she began to apologize but was quickly cut off.

"Ms. Hart I have neither the time nor patience for your excuses. If you choose to fail my class that is your choice, but there will be no second chances toward the end of the semester and you will not be taking up my valuable time to continue your inappropriate napping schedule, is that understood?" He snapped hatefully in her direction.

She nodded wordlessly as she reached down to remove her bag strap from the back of her chair and the two friends exited out into the uncharacteristically empty hallway, Mr. Collins following and locking his classroom door behind them. Blue eyes met brown just as the bell rang out signaling their tardiness. She smiled weakly at the one person who had truly stood by her ever since their group of friends had begun to drift separate ways.

"I'm sorry if I got you in trouble with Mr. Collins," she apologized her voice barely above a whisper.

She was supposed to be in physical science, but she would honestly have rather crawled across broken glass at that moment than face Lucas Friar after the morning she'd just had. It wasn't that anything truly terrible had happened that day, it was just that she had slept walked through most of it and the few moments of awareness she'd had had been spent pondering her new existence and whether or not there had been some truth to those painful words Strickler and Ronnie had spoken.

Zay of course had no way of knowing what was troubling the blonde but he could sense the dark cloud hanging overhead. Usually he would make a witty comment or a clever pun, but for a reason he didn't quite understand this seemed like neither the time or place for either of those things. Instead he reached silently into his bag and pulled out a yellow spiral bound notebook.

"Here sugar, I took some notes for the quiz Monday," he explained as her blue orbs widened with shock and something else he would have sworn resembled fear, though that couldn't be right because Maya Hart had feared nothing and no one since the moment they'd met.

"There's a quiz Monday?!" She exclaimed before smacking herself in the forehead with her open hand.

"I can't believe I did that," she groaned in frustration.

She hadn't deliberately slept through her history class, but between still feeling the effects of her misadventure from the night before and her teacher's monotone cadence, falling asleep had been her body's natural response. She had always known Mathews was a great teacher, but she'd never realized just how rare great teachers actually were until she had begun high school. Mr. Collins was definitely not one that would fall into that category. He didn't seem to care about whether the students found the lessons interesting or how it could apply to their own lives. All he seemed to care about was that they passed the mandatory exams that reflected on him as an educator to the board.

Zay slung his arm around her shoulders with a wide grin as they wandered slowly toward the adjoining hall where Maya's locker was housed.

"Aww, I wouldn't worry too much about it sugar. It's just the one class. He can't flunk you for one class, and quite frankly you wasn't missing much if ya know what I'm saying." He assured cheerfully just as they reached her locker around the corner.

He watched sympathetically as the blonde began fidgeting with her combination lock and after three attempts managed to successfully open it. Though he had kept his promises he couldn't help but feel that he was somehow failing her. He'd thought that a summer away from everyone would give her some time to sort through her feelings and focus on herself and her healing. Her anger had dulled over that time but she'd only retreated further into herself, seemingly more burdened than ever.

Maya opened the door of her locker to exchange books and sighed when she caught a glimpse of her reflection in the magnetic mirror, those words once again resurfacing. Was it possible that she wasn't the person she thought she was? Who was she really? Maya Penelope Hart? The leader of Mayaville, the place where chaos reigned? Riley Mathew's bad influence and best friend? Farkle's mystery and first fake ex-wife? An artist? The girl who was three years younger than Josh and unwanted by Lucas Friar? Zay Babineaux's honeynugget?

Why were there question marks at the end of every one of those thoughts? She had almost forgotten where she was and whom she was with until he placed a hand on her shoulder and peered down at her with probing eyes of concern.

"You okay honeynugget?" He asked tenderly.

She flashed him a dazzling smile that didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Yeah, I'm okay..." She fibbed as she nibbled on the corner of her lower lip but Zay wasn't buying what she was selling and they both knew it. Another sigh escaped her lips as her shoulders slumped in defeat. She knew that he would listen if she allowed the floodgates to break. He might even understand to some extent, but he was already making so many sacrifices in order to be the kind of friend she needed. Lucas was to him what Riley had always been to her. They didn't have designated nicknames or matching friendship rings but they had been friends most of their lives.

"Whatever it is Maya, you can tell me. I know I like to tell stories about people but I assure you I can keep a secret. You think the stuff I told you guys about Lucas was bad that's just the tip of the iceberg. I have so much dirt on him a Hoover couldn't clean it," what had started out as a plea for confidence had accidentally morphed into a rambling mess.

Staying away from him couldn't be any easier for Zay than avoiding Riley had been for her, yet he had done it for her. The least she could do was be honest with him, wasn't it?

"Shouldn't you be getting to class?" She inquired, doing her best to distract him.

Even if he could actually keep a secret would it really be fair to ask him to? And what would mean if she could open up to both Ronnie and Zay about her problems, but not Riley?

Zay's expression shifted from worry to skepticism as she closed her locker, hugging her science book to her chest.

"Shouldn't you?" He challenged with a pointed look that told her he knew she was stalling. She couldn't help the corner of her mouth from lifting into a smirk in response, a shadow of her former mischievous twinkle in those blue orbs.

"That's what I thought," he said wagging a finger in mock disapproval before cracking a wide cheesy grin. "Well since neither of us are going to third period today I've got the next hour or so to work on you until you cave," he teased.

A light feminine chuckle filled the air between them as her eyes rolled in the back of her head.

"It's not a big deal," she declared as convincingly as possible.

"Then you won't mind sharing," he insisted.

She glared up at him momentarily in stubbornness. Why did he want to know so badly?

"It's stupid...I'm just...I miss middle school okay!" She confessed as if it were the most ridiculous thing to ever come out of her mouth.

Never in a million years had she expected to say those words. Just a few short months ago she had seen John Quincy Adams as a prison that she had obligated to attend, but now that she had been kicked out into the heartless reality of high school she realized what a shelter it had truly been. She missed teachers that were invested in their students and determined to make them better people as well as smarter ones. She missed adults who cared enough to notice when something was wrong and built their students up instead of picking them apart piece by piece when they struggled. Most of all she missed her friends and the way they had always leaned on one another. They were so much stronger together than she could ever be on her own.

Not wanting to be caught be the security guards wandering the halls they hid in the top right wing over the gymnasium until time for the first lunch bell to ring. Now they could wander near the cafeteria and hallway patrol would assume they were on their lunch break.

"Ya know, it's not too late to make it right," Zay offered, his tone hopeful of reconciliation between his friends. Maybe they couldn't go back to middle school but they could go back to each other.

The blonde's ponytail swayed from side to side as she shook her head, his hope quickly fading.

"Yeah, it is." She replied, her voice void of any emotion.

"Why not?!" He exclaimed throwing his hands up in frustration. Maya was drowning and for some reason the rope he was tossing her wouldn't reach. He needed help. They both did.

"I get that what happened last year sucked for you. It sucked for all of us, but-"

Contempt flared in her blue eyes.

"What happened to being on my side?" She demanded.

Zay's lips curled as he swallowed his first reaction. He had distanced himself from all his other friends and made himself completely available to her. How could she possibly still doubt him?

"I _am_ on your side Maya. And I wouldn't be a very good friend to you if I didn't point out that you can only push this so far before it IS actually too late. It's obvious you miss her. You miss them and they miss you and we all just want to go back to being friends again. You know that they never meant to hurt you, but if you don't stop trying to punish them you're going to end up punishing yourself!

Maya went slack jawed, her mouth open but no sound coming out. It took a moment before she found her words as she spoke timidly.

"Is that really what you think I'm doing?" she asked sucking her lower lip between her teeth. "Is that what she thinks I'm doing?" She asked brokenly, a lump forming in the back of her throat.

Lucas she could understand, but how could Riley ever think that she would intentionally hurt her that way? When had Maya ever intentionally hurt anyone?

Zay shrugged, already beginning to hate himself for what he had said.

"I have no idea what she thinks. I haven't really seen her and from what I've heard she's not talking to anyone about it, not even Luke."

She wasn't sure if that made her feel better or worse. The bell would ring again any moment and their actual lunch period would start; the one they shared with the entire group.

"Just think about it," he suggested as they shared a one armed hug before he disappeared into the cafeteria which was beginning to fill with new students.

Instead of rushing to the lunch room Riley decided to take a small detour to her locker first so that she could exchange her books for the last two classes of the day. It only spared her a few minutes between fourth and final period but those few extra minutes had become precious opportunities in her eyes. High school hadn't lived up to a single one of her expectations so far. Her brown eyes drifted over to the pictures she had hung up on the inside of her door. The first one to catch her eye was one of her and Maya. It had been taken the day they had temporarily separated during their assignment on personal belief systems. Riley had been heartbroken when her best friend had declared that she needed a break from their friendship. Little did she know then what kind of heartache had been waiting round the bend just a few short weeks later.

Her lips curved into a watery smile as she stood there reliving some of their best and most meaningful moments during their seven years together. Was this really all she would have left of Maya to sustain her? Pictures and memories weren't enough. She missed her first gift from the universe terribly. Her chocolate gaze travelled to the second picture hanging in her locker; the one she and Lucas had taken on their first official do over date. It had been cliché but wonderful playing in the arcade and posing in the photo booth together.

The small roll of pictures seemed to tell a story as she went over them one by one. In the first frame both had been nervous and uncertain what to do and so the camera had caught them glancing at one another with puzzled expressions. By the second frame their nerves had begun to ease as their eyes found one another and they'd found comfort in each other. Both were wearing happy smiles with shining eyes as they shared a meaningful look between them. The third and fourth frames could easily be interpreted as two friends goofing off and enjoying one another's company, but it was the fifth frame that Lucas favorite.

Having found his confidence and being stirred by their close proximity and the memory of how their story had begun Lucas had pulled Riley onto his lap, his hand resting on her knee with her arm around his neck. Finally, after months of agony and holding back the beautiful brunette that had first fallen into his lap on the subway was officially his girlfriend. She smelled of fresh berries and tasted of fruit and innocence. She had never thought of smiling as something one would do during a kiss but somehow they were.

He was another gift from the universe. She genuinely believed that. The only thing she couldn't understand, the question she stayed up every night contemplating, was why would the universe give Lucas to her if it would also drive Maya away?

The third picture was one of the group they had taken at the beginning of their trip in Texas...before the whole world had started spinning backwards. Even then Lucas had been between the girls, both physically and emotionally, it just hasn't seemed as obvious at the time. She giggled at the sight of Farkle, Lucas, and Zay all wearing those ten-gallon cowboy hats and the few good memories on that mental highlight reel. Logically she knew that there was no going back to before and that even if they could it wouldn't solve anything. Maya had stepped back from the beginning and Riley could never wish Lucas out of her life.

Suddenly the air around her changed as two strong arms encompassed her in warmth. A warm shiver ran through her as he gently brushed her long flowing tresses back behind her shoulder and placed a small tender kiss on her neck just below her ear. Despite her efforts, her shoulder rose and a ringing giggle fell from her lips, that made him smile as well. She turned to meet his bright green eyes shining with adoration.

"When I couldn't find you in the lunch room I figured you were either out here or hiding in the library," he explained. "I was really hoping that you would be here instead otherwise that," he said gesturing to the covered slice of cake he'd placed in her locker just seconds before when he'd wrapped his arms around her, "might have gone to waste."

Her head turned from him toward the Boston cream flavored treat smothered in chocolate icing with a smile surprise curving her lips before subconsciously running her tongue over her the bottom one in anticipation; a gesture that made something in Lucas stir awake.

"Lucas!" She exclaimed in glee. "You didn't have to do this for me," though she certainly wasn't complaining. His expression grew sheepish and she worried that perhaps she had said or done something wrong.

"I know I didn't, but I wanted to. I was standing in line and I saw it sitting there on the bar. I know it's your favorite and that they've been out all week so when I saw it I wanted to get it for you." He paused a moment, "it's the kind of thing I used to think about doing all the time...before...but I couldn't because that was something a boyfriend did for his girlfriend and..."

She observed him carefully, her head tilting in understanding. "You used to think about what you would do...if we were ever...together?" She finished the question with a sweet smile at the realization. Of course, she had thought about that too, but she hadn't known he was too.

He nodded, feeling strangely nervous as he continued. "Yeah, I did. A lot. I mean a lot, a lot. That's why I waited so long to ask you to that stupid dance. I mean I liked you and you liked me...we had both kind of said as much...I mean there wasn't anyone else I even thought of asking..." He trailed off self-consciously.

Her brown eyes glanced down toward the floor before rising to meet his gaze once more, a flush of pink now coloring her cheeks. It felt good to hear that they had been thinking so similarly without knowing it. She'd never wanted anyone else to ask her.

"Wow," she quietly mused to herself, "I really wish I'd known that at the time."

This time it was he who became bashful in response.

"I thought you did..."

It had never occurred to him that she would doubt his feelings for her. They seemed so obvious to him, as though he were walking about with a neon sign that said "I love Riley Mathews." He would gladly have set her straight had he known.

Sensing his regret she took both his hands in her own, his arms still encircling her.

"The important thing is that we both know now," she offered with a warm smile that would lift even the darkest of shadows from his shoulders. "And that we get to the cafeteria before it closes," she added giggling as his brows creased.

"You forgot the forks," she reminded, lacing her already sweet voice in honey so as not to criticize his incredibly thoughtful gesture.

Still he seemed confused.

"Forks?" It wasn't the word that puzzled him so much as the plurality of it.

"Yes forks. You didn't think that I'd eat it right in front of you and not share, did you? So WE need forks unless we plan to hand feed it to each other like wedding couples," she teased playfully.

A flicker of an image overwhelmed his thoughts at her joke. The image of Riley a few years older, in a white dress, shoving wedding cake in his face. There were no plans or certainties, but he could see it every once in a while when a moment struck him a specific way. Right now it was merely a picture in his head, but one that made him smile and wonder what his future might hold.

He placed a kiss to her cheek as he began to disentangle himself from her, though unwilling to do so completely. Still holding her one hand he steered them toward the cafeteria as she grabbed her cake and closed the locker door.

"Guess we should go get those forks then," he suggested with a chuckle.

They walked down the hallway, hand in hand whispering and giggling with one another as they had always done, though neither were fully committed to the conversation. Both had been secretly pondering about the new status of their relationship and thoughts and feelings they had been experiencing ever since that significant label change had occurred.

"Lucas," she glanced over at him hesitantly unsure of how to properly express what she was trying to. "Do you ever…miss me? I mean, I know that we see each other every day and we talk all the time…but do you ever…" she trailed off with a sigh, certain that she wasn't making any sense at all. "never mind, I don't even know what I was trying to say." She dismissed with a wave of her hand in an attempt to drop the subject.

He gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

"No, I think I get what you mean, and I do…all the time. I mean I love the time we get to spend together but, we are different in some ways and I think it's normal to be sad about changing even when the change itself is good."

Her brown eyes went gold with understanding and gratitude.

"Exactly! It's like, I love being your girlfriend and you being my boyfriend…but sometimes I miss just being Riley and Lucas."

Being Riley and Lucas hadn't been nearly as complicated. Okay, that wasn't true. At the time she had found that version of them to be just as mysterious and confusing as this newer version of them had become. The only difference was hindsight. Everything looked and felt simpler in hindsight.

He lifted their hands to his lips, placing a kiss on each of her knuckles.

"We're always going to be Riley and Lucas," he promised from the bottom of his heart, meaning every syllable. Whether they returned to being friends or if someday the pictures he imagined of their possible future were fortunate enough to become memories, they would always be part of one another's lives and care what the other had to say.

They would always have each other.

Riley's features illuminated with an inner light that could rival that of the sun. She'd needed so badly in that moment to hear those words and no matter how many times it happened she was still in awe each time he knew exactly what to say to calm her fears. Sadly, that light was not to last as it quickly faded from her eyes; something dark and sorrowful taking hold. Lucas watched in despair as those sweet smiling lips fell into a thin wistful line. He didn't even have to look behind him to know who was standing there.

Farkle pretended not to notice Maya's eyes shift from him to something off to the side behind him. When she had refused to enter the lunch room he had returned to her side moments later with a tuna melt and juice. It was far from a three course meal but he wasn't about to let her starve simply because she was too stubborn to face Riley and Lucas.

Who or whatever she was staring at behind his head obviously had her full attention and he decided to use this moment of distraction to his advantage.

"So how are you really Maya?" he asked testing the waters.

The blonde merely shrugged at the question, not even making an effort to be convincing.

"I'm fine, I guess."

He nodded wordlessly, knowing full well that wasn't true.

"And your art? How's that going? He probed further.

Again she made no effort to convince him one way or the other.

"Work in progress," she mumbled, her mind clearly still somewhere else.

Translation: it wasn't going so well either, which was strange since art was something she had always excelled at no matter what else was going on her life at the time.

Something must have happened because the glaze over her eyes evaporated immediately as she hung her head, forcing herself to look away. As she lifted her head she seemed be battling an inner war between anger and grief. It was only then that he turned he head to see the object of her distraction.

"She misses you too, Maya." He stated matter-of-factly, though his tone was soft.

A hopeful gleam twinkled in her azure orbs that had darkened in sadness.

"She told you that?" she asked, doing her best to hide how much she wanted those words to be true.

Something in his expression changed that she didn't understand.

"She hasn't actually told me that, but I can see it. And I can feel it. It's the same feeling I get whenever I'm around you. You don't want to tell me that you miss her but I can sense that you do. It's the same with her," he stalled contemplating his words carefully. This wasn't really his secret to tell but if it gave Maya the courage the necessary to take the first step and reunite the girls, would it really matter that he'd shared this information?

"She still waits at the window."

Maya's face contorted in disbelief.

"How could you possibly know that?" she implored.

A memory of Farkle coming through her window nearly four months prior popped into her head without warning, and suddenly she knew the answer to her question. He knew because Maya and Riley were his girls, would always be his girls. He went where they went and he waited where they waited.

Noticing the change in countenance, he smiled in confirmation.

"I think you know," was all he said on the subject. It was all he had the chance to say before the bell rang and it was once again time to go separate ways.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he whispered reminding her of the plans they had made previously, to which she nodded with a smile and said "yeah, I'll be there," as her eyes drifted back over to the spot Riley and Lucas had been standing but were now gone from.

The blonde shook her head vigorously, attempting to rattle her scattered thoughts into their proper place. Farkle and Zay weren't entirely wrong. She missed Riley with every ounce of her being. Without her presence in Maya's life, all the certainties seemed to have vanished right alongside her. She had almost started to forget why she had distanced herself from her best friend in the first place, until Riley realized they were standing in that hallway together.

Everyone seemed to think the worst of Maya, as if she were using her friendship or lack thereof as some kind of weapon against the brunette. It hurt to be misjudged so…especially by those she had considered her friends, but even that hadn't hurt her nearly as much as her true reasons for avoiding the girl whose happiness meant more to her than her own. It was that very happiness she was safeguarding by staying away.

Riley was pure and good and finally genuinely happy.

But without Riley who was Maya?

What was peaches without honey?

A bad influence without someone to corrupt?

So much of who she had been was wrapped up in their connection. Was it possible that she had truly lost herself when she had made the decision to protect Riley from herself?

She spent the next hour and a half combing over all the words she had used in her attempts to define herself and slowly she began to realize that maybe they had been right all along and she had become someone different without realizing it, though perhaps different wasn't the right word. She was the same as she had always been. The different was there was no longer a little ray of sunshine chasing away her shadows. Which meant that Ronnie had been right when she'd said the only way out of the woods was by making a choice. The only question left was what did Maya intend to do about her predicament now that she had been made aware.


	15. 14- Delayed Reaction

**A/N: I know it's taken longer than expected and I apologize. It's literally been one thing right after another for the last few weeks, but I am working through it. Thank you so much for all the kind words and concern over the last few weeks as well as your patience between chapters and support of this story! It means the world to me!**

If anyone had asked Maya to define her idea of home she could easily sum it up in four simple words: Riley and the bay window. It was where her heart was, where she felt safest and being banished from both had been unbearable. For the last few months she had been in desperate need of guidance from the first and the security of the second, but unable to reach out. Now that the girls had somewhat reconciled and the balance was seemingly restored she was free to once again climb the fire escape to that magical place where fears were calmed and confusion cleared away. Yet as she sat there pondering on all the questions she'd been bottling up for nearly a year no answers had appeared.

Her blue eyes shifted down to the brunette in the floor. She knew that she should be grateful for her sister's understanding and willingness to move past what had happened, but even though she was less than a foot away Maya couldn't help but feel as though she were still waiting for her childhood friend to return.

"I have been abandoned," the blonde said with a shrug of her shoulders, "forsaken," she paused attempting to think of another synonym but came up lacking, "and a third word for alone," she deadpanned from her seat at the window.

Riley glanced up from the copy of William Shakespeare's greatest works that she held in her hands as she uncrossed and then re-crossed her ankles, the one previously on bottom now lying on top.

"You haven't been deserted, I'm right here," she replied, offering Maya her third word she'd silently sought after.

The blonde huffed in response, pulling her legs up into a crisscross position.

"Your body might be but your head is off running around somewhere in the dark ages."

The brunette lifted her legs laying the open book on her knees.

"It's the renaissance actually," she corrected.

Maya reached for the pillow sitting beside her and tossed it downward toward her friend.

"Dark ages, renaissance, whatever. You should be here with me in 2016, you know, the twenty first century!" she demanded as she watched Riley's eyes travel back down to the text in front of her.

"Seriously! How many times do you plan to read that thing?"

Riley tapped impatiently on the cover of her book as she continued reading.

"Given that it's my homework and the subject of my very first test in an advanced English class, I'm going to guess quite a few."

The girl in the window fought the urge to roll her eyes as she ran a hand through her hair in frustration.

"Come on Riles! It's not like you don't already know the material. You've read it a hundred times."

Maya spoke the truth. Over on her bookshelf was a very worn paperback version of the play which had been dog eared and notated excessively. She had once seen the story just the same as her classmate and had and loved it for all it's so called ideals. Her gaze rose from the book in her hand to the one on her shelf, wondering why there were so many ugly meanings in all the things she had once found beautiful.

"It's not the same though. When I was reading it just for fun I missed a lot of critical analysis, which is why it's so important that I really study it now," she explained curtly before turning the page, though truthfully she could barely remember what she had just read.

While one girl's brain was perusing the streets of Verona Italy, the other's mind began to wander back through the thoughts and memories she hadn't been able to make sense of, a list that grew a little longer every day, especially days spent with Lucas. She had followed him thinking that was what a good girlfriend was supposed to do, but if she had done the right thing when why had he unloaded on her like that? She'd heard the words coming from his mouth but what she couldn't sort out was the meaning behind them.

Was he jealous because of her? That would certainly be a first. He had never seemed to mind in the past. She had turned to putty over Uncle Boing right in front of him and Huckleberry hadn't cared. If anything he had been amused. It didn't bother him when Zay asked her to dance or Farkle had put a ring on her finger, but those guys were their friends. Was it different with friends? No one else had really ever taken an interest in her so the only standard she had to go by was the one Lucas had set the year before when he'd lost his mind over her best friend.

Was he jealous because of her? Three months ago the obvious answer would have been yes, but then he had done the unthinkable and chosen Maya instead. He had admitted to still having feelings for her at the time but he had also said that whatever happened between them was too powerful to ignore. Maybe he wasn't jealous at all. Maybe he was just being protective like the day he came crashing through the window she now sat at? That was the only other time she had ever seen the real Lucas and unlike Riley she had found it to be very attractive.

Hunky though he may be, this Caleb guy was a stranger and anyone with eyes could see that his radar had zeroed in on the former ray of sunshine. Lucas hadn't always been able to protect her heart but it made sense that he would want to try…especially if he still felt guilty about everything. Which he clearly did or he wouldn't have said their relationship had destroyed their friendships.

She understood why her friends had been shocked by her interest in Lucas and his choice of her over Riley. It had taken her completely by surprise as well, but the situation wasn't nearly as dire as her boyfriend had made it out to be either. Maybe they had been three months ago but Riley was there now and she would fix everything. She didn't blame them or harbor any anger and she was the one their relationship had actually hurt, no matter how unintentional, but the injured party was moving on with her life and Maya had no doubt that once she did the rest would follow her lead and everything would go back to the way it had always been.

She looked up from the strand of hair that she'd been playing with, an idea rattling through her no longer distracted mind. Maybe there was a way she could help the process along a little bit.

"Do you plan on studying all weekend?" she inquired as innocently as possible.

Riley glanced up from her book with suspicion in her eyes.

"I don't know yet. Why? What did you have in mind?"

Her eyes fell back to the golden ends of her hair she had trapped between her fingers, something she usually did when she was busy pretending not to care about something.

Or flirting...

Though Riley doubted her best friend was openly flirting with her.

"Nothing major, just thought we could get the gang together. We haven't all hung out in a while."

Maya wasn't the only one missing their group dynamic. She loved each of her friends and had done her best to maintain a relationship with them over the summer while she was away, but it just wasn't the same as when they were all together. They were in high school now, on different paths, with different schedules and interests. The only hope they had of remaining a unit was if they were all willing to make an effort.

"That sounds like a great idea. I'm in if they are," the brunette agreed with a smile.

The blonde's lips curved into a satisfied grin.

"Great! So I'll talk to Lucas, Zay, and Smackle about it and you can ask Farkle."

Riley's brown eyes narrowed at the statement, once again placing the book against her knees.

"Why can't you ask Farkle?" Her head tilted curiously, eyes probing. "This is a scheme isn't it?! You're up to something and you need my help to pull it off," she accused.

Maya knew at this point she had two choices: she could lie and hope it was convincing enough or she could come clean. Knowing that she had already been caught made this decision much easier.

"Okay, you got me! I don't know how much you know about after you left but things haven't been great between all of us. They're getting better but...I just think Farkle is more likely to come if you ask him."

Those brown orbs clouded in confusion. Even though she had spoken with her friends she didn't really know much about their time apart. They hadn't offered for the fear of upsetting her and she hadn't asked for similar reasons. She had picked up on the residual tension whenever they shared lunches together, but she had thought that was just a normal reaction to the many changes that had occurred.

"Farkle loves us both exactly the same. I'm sure he would give you the same answer he'd give me," she insisted, though her tone revealed that she was now rethinking that concept and wondering if it were still true.

It had to be though. Farkle hadn't loved her any less when she had been the one with feelings for Lucas. There was no reason to believe he would hold Maya to a different standard.

Maybe he had loved them equally before, but Maya doubted that was still the case. He said that he still loved her and that they were still friends but she could see the disappointment in his eyes every time he looked at her. He blamed her for what Riley had become and worse, he blamed himself for not choosing between them sooner.

She ran her hand down the middle of her head, her flaxen curls spreading this way and that with the motion.

"Do I really have to spell this out for you? He's upset about what happened last year and how it changed everything...how it changed you. He hates that you got hurt and so do we, but he doesn't understand that we didn't have a choice because if we had we would never choose to hurt you. You get that though. You understood and if you can make him see that you've forgiven us-"

"Then why can't he?" Riley mumbled finishing Maya's thought for her.

The blonde nodded in agreement.

"So will you do it?" She pleaded.

Riley was the one with the magic touch. Everything she touched turned to gold. Unlike her, who broke everything in reach. She couldn't fix this but her best friend could.

The brunette brushed her side swept bangs from her face with a sigh. The Riley who had left for Philadelphia that summer wouldn't have even waited to be asked to intervene. She would have been the one scheming from the start to bring peace to their group of friends. So why did she feel so hesitant to jump in the middle of all the chaos now? In changing who she was had she forfeited the one talent she had?

"I don't know Maya. If he's not ready forcing him might not be such a good idea. It could just make things worse," she reasoned.

Most of her schemes had worked out in the past. It was because of her "forcing the issue" that Maya had a father figure in Shawn and a potential family with him and Katie. The same could be said of the blonde's relationship with Lucas. All Riley's plotting had worked out extremely well for those she intended. But it had also come at an unforeseen cost.

For every push there was a pull. If she pushed Farkle into mending his relationship with Maya what might it do to her relationship with him? And was it selfish of her to ask that?

It had never occurred to Maya that this new version of her sister might not be willing to intervene.

"Please Riles, it's not like I'm asking you to lie or hold him hostage. It's just a friendly group night and the rest of us will be there to help," she begged uncharacteristically.

If she could do it herself she would, but she couldn't. It would only work with Riley's cooperation and for whatever reason she didn't want to get involved. There had to be a way to get her off the fence and into the game.

"Maybe we could even invite that yummy film nerd," she suggested twirling her hair once more.

Riley glanced down to the side so her friend wouldn't see the flash of anger in her eyes. She wasn't sure exactly why she was angry. It could have been because Maya was clearly showing interest in the guy when she already had the greatest guy in the entire world, or it could be because she was once again trying push Riley toward someone she had interest in, which could only end badly for the girl being pushed.

"Why would you want to invite him," she asked, her tone revealing her annoyance.

The blonde shrugged with a blank expression.

"I just thought he might make a good addition to the group," she defended.

This time the brunette didn't even try to hide her eyes as they burned into her friend.

"Based on what? You're whole five minutes of interaction," she countered as her book slammed against the floor.

Maya's cerulean orbs widened at her sister's reaction. She had seen a hint of this spark in her friend during the fight that had led to their reconciliation but they had been arguing about their friendship then. She barely knew this guy. Either she really liked him or she really didn't want him anywhere near her friends. Either way, she had found new Riley's trigger and was not about to let it go to waste.

She raised her hands in a defensive position as she thought back to that day in class when Lucas had defended her art. What had Zay said to get everyone in such a tizzy?

Oh yeah.

"It was just an idea. There's no need to get so fired up over it," the glint of recognition in those chocolate depths told her that she had struck her intended target.

"I am not fired up over him," she argued rather feebly.

The blonde smirked in response.

"Honey you are the very picture of fired up right now."

Riley tensed at her words and everything they implied. Hadn't that been one of the first signs that there was more between her best friend and her unofficial boyfriend?

"Did you not hear anything I said in that hallway?" She snapped defensively.

There was no denying that this stranger held some kind of fascination for her that she didn't understand, but that could just as easily be a product of her decision to alter her own identity.

Her blue eyes twinkled with laughter.

"I heard it, I also saw you get pretty up close and personal. For a second there I thought you were gonna ha-hurr him or something."

She had expected Riley to push back but to her surprise those brown eyes didn't burst with flames they went dark, silent, unreadable. This was another thing she hated about "new Riley." This person was a mystery to her. She never knew exactly what to expect and just when she thought she'd figured this new version out, she guessed wrong and had to start all over again.

Maybe she had gone too far?

"Riles I-" she began to apologize but was quickly cut off.

"If I agree to help you with Farkle can we drop this whole Caleb thing?" She bargained, the name suddenly tasting like arsenic on her tongue.

Maya lowered her gaze to the floor repentantly. She hadn't meant to hurt or upset Riley. Life had done enough of that already and used her and Lucas to do it.

"Yeah we can drop it," she agreed, though they both knew this wouldn't be the last time the subject was breached.

Maya had never considered her best friend an overly complicated human being. From the moment they had met she had known Riley's every thought and emotion because the young girl had worn them for all to see without ever even realizing it. It was why she had always been so easy to read. Because every thought she had was kind and every intention good. As she sat there examining her best friend's features in the nearby mirror she could honestly say that she hadn't a clue what was going on inside her. She had no doubt that the girl standing on the opposite side of the room placing her text book on the nightstand was still pure hearted in nature. That was just who Riley was and she couldn't imagine anything or anyone ever changing that. Of course she never would have imagined that girl being able to lie so well for so long either. She didn't know how or why that sweet simple girl had changed but seeing those big brown eyes go cold terrified her.

Having taken a minute to recompose herself, Riley turned back to face the girl she had called sister and friend for the last seven years. She might have changed in some aspects but at heart she was...at least she hoped she still was, an optimist, and as such she was determined not to let a little hiccup like a difference in opinion to spoil their first night together in months.

The blonde observed as the corners of Riley's mouth lifted into a smile and the light returned to her eyes. Anyone looking at her would naturally assume that she was happy, but for the first time Maya found herself questioning the sincerity of her expression.

"You know what, this is our first sleepover in forever and I think we should do something special to celebrate," she declared cheerfully.

Maya's brows raised at her words.

"What'd you have in mind?" She asked.

Their previous nights together had never been organized or treated as an event. She understood the significance of her presence there, but she wished it could be ignored. Couldn't they just pretend that this was what they had always done and that they hadn't gone an entire summer without speaking?

Riley hadn't actually had anything in mind. She was merely doing her best to make conversation and move past their prior discussion. There was a time not very long ago when interacting with the girl at the window had been effortless. She had known that they couldn't just go back to the way things were and some adjustment would be necessary, but it was her and Maya. It wasn't like with Lucas where she had to alter her entire way of thinking and behaving, so why was this proving to be so difficult?

"I don't know...we should just...do the things we missed doing together." She offered vaguely.

It didn't take both girls long to agree that the thing that they had missed most wasn't any particular activity. The thing that they had both missed the most was just being together, enjoying each other's company and so that's what they decided to focus on. With the subject of boys already off the table they defaulted to topics of a more surface level. They weren't changing the world with talk of politics or challenging their intellect by theorizing philosophy, but for the first time in neither could remember how long they were happy. As they gushed over music and clothes and giggled at one another's jokes the weight of the previous year seemed temporarily lifted. They fell back into a rhythm resembling that of their former selves which was comfortable and familiar. For a little while it was as if all the bad things had never happened and it was just the two of them again.

"So did your dad completely flip when he saw your new look?" The blonde asked as she combed through the hangers in the closet with a smirk.

Riley chortled at the memory of him standing at the bottom of the stair case with his eyes bulging and hands flailing.

"He suggested I opt for a habit instead," she mused from her seat on the bed.

Maya's head poked out of the closet, clearly perplexed.

"Like a hobby?"

The brunette shook her head as she let out another laugh.

"Like a nun's dress," she explained.

The blonde plucked a hanger from the multitude, pressing it against her body as she exited the closet to inspect her reflection. Now that things were better between them, she was starting to appreciate her sister's new style.

"I'm surprised he hasn't already signed you over to God for safekeeping."

Both girls lapsed into a fit of giggles as the door cracked open and the man in question poked his head through.

"Mathews! We were just talking about you," she called from the closet doorway.

His brown eyes fixated on his daughter with a scowl.

"Should I be worried?" He inquired.

He glanced back over toward the girl he had considered family and was filled with a bittersweet feeling he couldn't explain. Never had he felt so torn as he had that day in his living room when Lucas had announced his decision. He loved both girls and wanted happiness for both, but in this case happiness for one had meant heartbreak for the other. Having Maya back in their home felt good and he was proud of his daughter for prioritizing their friendship, but he also still felt a twinge of anger each time he remembered the sound of his little girl crying her heart out. He wanted to believe that he could love and accept his surrogate daughter as he had before, but he also knew he wasn't there yet.

Riley assured him that there was no need to fear Maya or her ominous commentary.

"There's someone here to see you." He announced.

Both girls' eyes fell on the empty window with confusion causing Cory to chuckle.

"No, this one actually used the door," he said as the door flew open and Isadora Smackle stood awkwardly by his side.

She mumbled her thanks to Mr. Mathews for accompanying her upstairs, to which he nodded with a smile and excused himself, leaving the three girls alone. Her brown eyes darted from the blonde at the closet to the brunette on the bed before casting downward apologetically.

"I apologize for my inconvenient timing," she said noting the way the corners of Riley's mouth fell in response. "I didn't realize that you would be otherwise engaged," she explained as she once again lifted her gaze to meet the that of her host's company.

Maya offered her a feeble smile of acceptance, that appeared to Isadora a bit too tight for sincerity. Both girls were showing visual distress at her arrival, which only added to her apprehension about her reason for straying so far from her comfort zone in the first place.

"I also hope you won't take offense to my choice of entry. I know that some of your friends prefer a more direct approach," she gestured to the window as she spoke, "but as you can clearly see I'm not in the proper attire for climbing up fire escapes, nor was I certain we would be considered close enough for such a personal entrance," she finished as her hands nervously smoothed her skirt.

Riley leapt from the bed, concern etched in her features.

"Smackle you don't have to apologize for coming over or for using the door. You're welcome here anytime," she welcomed enthusiastically as she took the raven haired girl's hands in her own. "And you're timing isn't inconvenient, it's perfect," she insisted with a wide grin of acceptance that reminded Isadora why she felt so fondly toward this particular acquaintance. After all, it was she who had first reached out to Smackle from the inner sanctum of Farkle's world.

Maya wore that same thin lipped approval as the brunette turned to face her, her heart sinking a little at Riley's invitation. It wasn't that she disliked the female genius, it was just that this was the first time she and Riley had truly felt like their old selves and she wasn't ready to give that up just yet.

"Maya and I were just saying that we wanted to spend more time with our friends, weren't we Maya?"

The blonde nodded, her smile growing wider but her eyes remaining icily still.

"We sure were," she agreed, fighting to keep her tone void of frustration or annoyance. She must have succeeded because Riley quickly turned back to Smackle with determination.

"See, you're not interrupting at all. In fact, if you don't already have plans you should join us for our sleepover."

The blonde's lips parted with objections but she swallowed them down.

Isadora's brow's creased behind her glasses.

"What's a sleepover?" She asked inquisitively.

Riley once again turned to Maya, this time her face revealing shock. She had known that Smackle wasn't exactly a social person but she couldn't imagine spending her entire life without a friend. Her heart broke at the thought and she grew even more decided that Isadora should stay and be introduced to the wonders of friendship.

The brunette wasn't the only one affected by the question. Maya had been so consumed with her own disappointment that she hadn't once thought about what that invitation might mean to Smackle. Those words had been just sobering enough to pull her out of her own self-pity for the moment.

"Basically we stay up talking, watching movies, eating junk food..." She stated with a smile, this time more genuine.

Isadora stood there pondering the concept. If she had grasped it correctly girl's night was an evening with friends in which one indulged their personal preferences to excess.

"What would I have to do?" She inquired, knowing full well that her interests were not of the norm for girls her age.

Riley shrugged as she searched for the right words. Never had the ins and outs of a sleepover seemed so complicated until she had to break them down clinically.

"Just throw on some pj's and get to know us a little better. Maybe sit through a marathon of Red Planet Diaries with us."

And so it was decided that Isadora Smackle would join them for her very first overnight girl's experience. Once her parents had given their blessing she changed into a spare set of pajamas that Riley had offered her. They were a little long in the legs but that was easily remedied by rolling up the legs at the bottom until they reached a satisfactory level. She emerged from the bathroom to find both girls also in sleeping attire.

Riley was sitting in the floor with Maya behind her brushing through her chestnut locks with her fingers. Smackle wasn't certain what the purpose of this exercise was but she took a seat to the side where she could observe properly. The blonde began parting the hair in her hands into sections, grimacing when she realized how much more difficult it would be for the brunette's new hairstyle to maintain the braid that she had planned.

"Why did you chop off all your hair," she whined in frustration.

Why had she done it? She had told herself it was because she wanted to try something new, because she needed a change, but subconsciously she had often wondered if it hadn't been more about the fact that both Farkle and Maya had suggested that she should or that Lucas had once made a comment about how much he appreciated her long curls.

"I just liked the picture in the salon and went for it," she fibbed as she tucked back a piece that had fallen from Maya's grip.

Her fingers whipped the strands of hair in several different directions, finishing off with boxer braids that flowed into pigtails with loose ends. They then switched positions and Riley crafted the long blonde waves into something called a pull through braid. Finally, it was Smackle's turn as both girls fingered her hair into a long shiny French braid.

While Riley tied her hair off Maya went to retrieve a basket full of nail polish and the manicure kit Riley kept in the drawer of her night stand. Once she had procured the necessary items she grabbed a pillow to prop up on and began shaking the baby pink tinted bottle.

"Is this why we did our hair, to prevent obstacles in our remaining activities?" Isadora asked curiously.

Maya and Riley sent one another a questioning glance.

"Nope, we just do it cause it's fun and it feels good." The blonde stated as she gestured toward the second girl for her to place her hand in position. The latter plucked a second, much darker glittery purple colored bottle from the basket. A sigh escaped the first girl's lips as she tossed the pink bottle back into the basket, which did not go to waste as it was the color selected for Smackle's fingernails. The hair, the nail color, the extra company; these weren't major changes. They were just little unwelcome reminders that nothing was the same as it once been.

After their nails had dried it was time for the main event; snacks and Red Planet Diaries seasons one and two. Maya began setting up the floor palette and Netflix playlist while Riley offered to go downstairs and retrieve the treats. Sensing this might be her only opportunity to be alone with the brunette, Smackle seized it, choosing to accompany her. As much as she was enjoying her girl time, she had come there for a particular purpose and was determined to see it through.

Riley was rooting through the kitchen cabinets when she finally found her voice.

"Riley," she asked timidly, already feeling her nerve dissipate.

The brunette turned to glance over her shoulder at her guest, once again wearing that mask of concern.

"Is everything okay Smackle?" She replied wondering if perhaps she had read the situation wrong and Isadora wasn't having a good time after all.

The dark haired girl smiles weakly in response as she smoothed out imaginary creases in her pajama bottoms.

"I'm not sure they are. That's why I came over this afternoon. I wanted to ask you...that is I was wondering...," she paused uncertain how to continue. "I know that you and Farkle are quite close and perhaps I have no right to ask this, if so I apologize but...has he by chance spoken to you about the situation with you and your friends at all?"

She had tried her best to stay out of it, believing it was not her place to interfere, but as the days had turned to weeks and weeks to months she couldn't help but worry for the boy she admired so. Already she could see subtle changes in his character and behavior that concerned her. He was angry and lonely and completely closed off. Of course, she would prefer him to open up to her, but she realized that she was somewhat of an outsider in this circumstance and that were he to share his feelings with anyone in his circle it would most likely be the friendly and caring brunette standing opposite her now.

Riley nibbled on the corner of her inner lip, fighting back her brain's first response. She shouldn't have been surprised to be approached by Maya earlier that day, but Isadora Smackle was a different matter completely.

"Why is everyone on me to talk to Farkle about what happened?" She fumed what she thought was internally but much to her dismay the words had slipped through her disappearing filter and actually come out of her mouth.

Seemingly unphased, Isadora stated the facts of the case as she knew them to be.

"I came to you because I'm worried about him. I understand if he doesn't want to speak with me about his feelings on the matter but he won't speak with anyone about them. I may not be a master on the subject of emotions but I do know that holding them all in can be hazardous to one's mental, physical, and emotional well-being. You are his best friend and the most negatively affected by the circumstances. You are also the only one who hasn't been here all summer to talk to and so I was hoping once you returned he might reveal his inner turmoil to you. As for the others, it's my understanding that your role within the friendship model of your circle is that of reparatory nature and problem solving."

Each word of Smackle's explanation hit Riley like a ton of bricks. Had she really been so caught up in her own perplexing state of confusion that she had somehow missed the warning signs that her friend could be in some kind of crisis? When Maya had asked her to talk with Farkle she had resisted for fear of making matters worse for herself in the effort to maintain the peace, but if what Smackle said was true, and she believed it was, then Farkle needed someone to confide in... someone to make him realize that was what he needed. She didn't know if she still wanted to be "the fixer" of the group but she knew for certain that she wouldn't abandon her friends when they needed her and so she apologized to the girl who had done nothing wrong and promised to make an effort on Farkle's behalf.

"Did you guys get lost on the way to the kitchen? What took so long?" The blonde asked upon their return, a slight twinge of jealousy in her voice.

Riley began searching her mind for a reasonable excuse but Isadora beat her to it.

"It was my fault. I'm afraid I was distracting her with my questions about slumber party protocol," she apologized.

Maya grabbed a package of M&M chocolate chip cookies from the makeshift platter and plopped down in the floor.

"So who's ready for some Red Planet Diaries?" She asked excitedly.

The other two girls took their positions next to her as the theme song filled the air and the opening scene of Ashley the astronaut landing on Mars overtook the screen.

"You realize of course that man has not yet been to the planet Mars," Smackle pointed out within the first three minutes of the pilot episode.

Ten minutes later she was reminding them that life on other planets was only speculative at best. The first five to ten episodes were spent this way, with Isadora pointing out the many scientific fallacies within the series. However, by the season one finale when Ashley declared her love for Blarg's other head she too had been sucked in by the drama and tragedy of it all. Halfway through the second season her exhaustion began to take hold and by the final episode of the second season she had fallen asleep and it was once again just Riley and Maya.

"I still can't believe that Ashley had a boyfriend back on Earth this entire time!" The blonde exclaimed as they screen blacked out to the second season finale.

"I know, and he must really love her to go all the way to Mars just to find her," Riley replied with a yawn.

"But what about Blarg's other head?! He loves her too," her blue eyes glinted with contempt on Blarg's head's behalf.

That was true. Blarg's head had suffered a lot of discrimination to be with Ashley, but so had Blarg who loved her every bit as much as his second head or the Earth boyfriend.

'Sometimes the people we love just don't love us back,' she thought sadly to herself.

"Guess we will find out next season," was all she said instead.

The two sat in awkward silence once more until Maya worked up the nerve to say what she had been thinking since Riley's return from Pennsylvania.

"Um, at the risk of opening my big fat mouth and messing everything up again, there's something I've been wanting to ask you I just don't know how," she whispered into the dark.

Riley had a feeling she knew what this question was about. They had been avoiding the subject ever since they had made up but they couldn't avoid it forever.

"You can ask me anything peaches," she replied.

The blonde took a deep breath to steel her nerves.

"It's about Lucas..."

Riley had figured it would be.

"Now that we're talking again...I mean he is my boyfriend and he's your friend...do we talk about him or..."

She had spent all summer wishing she could talk to Riley about everything but now that her sister had come home she still found herself holding back and she wasn't sure why. With so many concepts in her life that she didn't understand it would feel good to have at least one solid definition where she knew what to expect.

The brunette sat in the darkness, grateful that the blonde couldn't see her face at the words "he's my boyfriend." She already knew that he was, but there was something about hearing it.

"Yeah, he's part of both our lives. Of course we can talk about him," she assured with a half-hearted smile.

True to her word, Riley had spoken with Farkle and their first official group night was set for that following Sunday afternoon. Together the girls had taken a similar approach to the evening as Riley had to dating Charlie Gardner. They would attend a movie where it was dark, quiet, and required minimal interaction. This would also provide everyone with a safe topic of conversation afterward when they found a nearby restaurant to dine at. The theory was that as long as no one ventured off into the painful subject of the previous year the group of friends would have taken their first step toward being happily reunited by the end of the night. Unfortunately, this plan was flawed in its design and hadn't taken very long to reveal itself as such.

Although Riley and Maya had been the two to organize the event, it was Riley and Zay who were the first to arrive. Isaiah Babineaux had walked into John Quincy Addams Middle School with the understanding that the sweet and adorable brunette in the first row was already spoken for, and as such he had never allowed himself one amorous thought about her. Unlike the unruly blonde whom he had surveyed and admired several times, meaning that the girl who had starred in a handful of his fantasies was now dating his best friend and the girl he had never allowed himself to look too closely at was now technically fair game, no matter how much Lucas hated that fact. Perhaps it was this reversal of roles that had permitted him to realize how gorgeous Riley Mathews truly was, and now that he had seen it, he couldn't help but wonder how long it would be before the rest of the student body would notice too.

"Hey there sugar!" he greeted as he wrapped his arm around the girl to hug her. They had talked a little throughout the summer and seen one another in passing since her infamous return, but it wasn't the same as spending every single day together. He missed her. He missed all of them.

"Hey," she chirped cheerfully as she returned his embrace with a smile.

Zay openly roved her frame from head to toe with a waggle of his brows that made her giggle. He wasn't certain if she was trying to make Lucas realize what he had lost or draw attention from new prospects but whichever her motive was she would undoubtedly succeed in those hip hugging jeans and brown top with the see through lacy sleeves.

"So, how is little miss sunshine these days?" he asked flashing a cheesy grin.

Was there a good and honest way to answer that question? Probably not, so instead she shrugged her shoulders noncommittally and deflected.

"I'm doing okay," she assured, "although I'm not sure that nickname still fits me."

At the moment she felt more like a storm cloud looming in the distance than a ray of sunshine.

He couldn't exactly disagree with that observation, but found himself reluctant to exchange the current term of endearment for something more befitting of this new her. It wasn't as though he hadn't made attempts but each name he chose seemed either too much like her old self or too much like her best friend, and until he found the perfect replacement "Little Miss Sunshine," she would remain.

He was in the middle of a great Texas story when the theater doors opened and the first established couple of their group strolled into the lobby hand in hand. Her brown eyes drifted upward, relief instantly flooding through her when she was met with ocean blue eyes rather than piercing green. Smackle stood proudly by his side offering a wobbly yet grateful smile toward the brunette. Though she had esteemed Riley in high regard, she had found her boyfriend's level of devotion to their friendship and his grief over her loss of former self incomprehensible. The concept of relying so heavily on one individual for stability and comfort had seemed illogical and doomed to failure. While her opinion on the impracticality of the notion hadn't wavered, after spending the weekend with the girl and observing the difference in Farkle after just one conversation with her, Isadora felt as though she was beginning to understand. Most people craved a feeling of connection and Riley Mathews was a one-woman circuit board.

"Salutations," the dark haired beauty proclaimed a little too enthusiastically.

Zay tipped his imaginary cowboy hat in reply "well hello to you too pretty lady," he flirted shamelessly.

Both Riley and Farkle glanced at him curiously.

"What?! I've seen Charlotte's Web, I know it's just a fancy way of saying hello," he defended. "I also know the fair is a veritable smorgasbord and we've got lots in common where it really counts."

He polished his statement with a wink.

"You do realize that Isadora Smackle is my girlfriend, correct?" Farkle asked with a hint of agitation. Excusing her accidental flirtation with Lucas was one thing but Zay knew exactly what he was doing.

Smackle's cheeks burned with a fiery tint at his choice of wording.

"Farkle, is that...really how you think of me?" She implored.

He turned to face her, noting her flustered appearance.

"Did I say something wrong," he questioned, his voice low and filled with concern.

She shook her head from side to side with a large grin.

"It's just that...you've never said that before. At least not in my presence," she explained; her blush growing seemingly contagious as it spread to the boy standing next to her.

The two stood lost in their own little world that comes from the sweet taste of first experiences as their friends looked on with approval and joy. Riley remembered the taste of those moments well: a first meeting, a first conversation, a first kiss. So many wondrous sensations awaited her friends and she couldn't possibly be happier for them. After years of rejection from her and Maya alike, Farkle deserved to be adored and if she'd had any doubt of Smackle's affection for her friend their discussion in her kitchen had absolved any lingering worry on his behalf. He obviously meant a great deal to her.

Lucas and Maya walked in just in time to witness this significant moment between their friends as well. The way they were looking at one another as though they were the only two people in the entire world...there were no words to describe that feeling. It was like free falling and gravity all at the same time; a heady cocktail of exhilaration and purpose. He missed it. Maya made him feel many things, but she never looked at him as though he were anything special. Those dazzling blue orbs would burn through him at times but they never softened at the sight of him.

His envy green gaze shifted from his friends to the brunette standing beside them. He stood there quietly examining this girl who felt both terribly familiar and incredibly foreign to his soul. The tight jeans and fitted lace blouse, the bright and chunky turquoise jewelry, the the shorter hair and traces of makeup on her otherwise perfect face made her seem a stranger; but the curve of her lips, the warmth of her smile, those big brown eyes that lured him in and drowned him in all things good and beautiful with a single glance...they were all still there.

She felt their presence before she saw them, though she wasn't sure how that was possible. Her heart began to speed in rhythm as her lungs worked to cycle the oxygen that suddenly felt wet and heavy around them; thick with tension. She had wondered what it might be like to see them again. The first time she had seen them that year it was as though she had been stabbed in the chest, but over those last few days she had somehow grown numb to the sight. The knife was still there but she hadn't felt it, at least not until she was alone. How might it feel now, knowing what she did?

There was only one way to find out.

Her dark chocolate centers sought them out from the corner of her eye, surprised to find that his were already on her. Something other worldly washed over her as she felt that familiar connection as though it were not their eyes aligning but their souls. In that split second he had her. Like Farkle and Smackle, she was drifting in a realm between past and present where only they existed and as a faint smile covered his lips she couldn't help but wonder if perhaps he was right there alongside her.

It was as if she had heard his heart secretly pleading and taken it upon herself to fulfill his wish. It had always been this way with her. One look, one word, one touch from her had always been enough send him flying through the stratosphere but this time there was something weighing him down. The hand that he was currently holding and the memory of Riley sharing that exact look with someone that wasn't him. With those two tethers to the ground he couldn't reach the stars no matter how much he yearned to and then in the blink of an eye it was gone as her expression shifted ever so slightly. She was drifting back to reality as well.

The petite blonde anchored at his side stood completely unaware of the out of body experience taking place. Her blue orbs sparkled at the sight of them all in one place again, as they had once been. She had known that if anyone could make this happen it would be Riley, and she had clearly succeeded where Maya surely would have failed.

"Okay it was cute, now it's just getting gross," she teased the mutually smitten geniuses.

Not everyone had to make puppy dog eyes at one other to validate their relationship. She and Lucas didn't go around all gooey eyed making everyone around them sick to their stomach. They reserved their "validation" for more private venues.

Farkle and Smackle turned for the first time to remember that there were others in the room; his eyes both brilliant and hard on the intruder like sapphires, but she assumed that was because she had trampled in on their private moment. After all, he wouldn't have come unless he now had a better understanding of the situation and had forgiven them as well. Now that he had returned to the fold he would realize that nothing had really changed. They were all still on the same team and wanted the same things; for Riley to be happy and their friendships to continue.

"Couldn't you just call him names instead," she asked Smackle playfully.

The two girls weren't the best of friends but she felt as though they had made some progress throughout the sleepover that weekend.

Her nose wrinkled beneath the frame of her glasses as she considered the question. Was it possible that she had gone about displaying her feelings for Farkle in an inappropriate manner? Would it be more effective in verbal form? Her brown eyes ticked over first to the brunette for guidance whose expression the girl couldn't quote read though she thought she detected a hint of annoyance. The only question was whether it was directed at her or the one who had made the original comment. She then glanced up into Farkle's handsome face. All she wanted was for him to feel as adored as he truly was and if she was in fact doing it wrong she wanted to correct her behavior for his benefit.

"Very well, turtledove, shall we procure tickets and refreshments now that the rest of our party has arrived?"

The blonde grimaced at the choice of wording. Was she the only one that didn't feel the need to establish disgusting nicknames for their significant other?

"Yeah, that's not any better," she muttered to herself, only to have her best friend shoot her a look of disapproval. No, that wasn't the right word. There was disapproval there but also something else. Was she actually upset with her because of what she'd said?

As usual Zay sat back watching it all from his designated sideline. Unlike Maya he had seen the look in his best friend's eye as he'd set his sights on the girl who had come dangerously close to being the girl next to him. Just as he had seen the slight tilt of her head and glint in her eyes as though she were looking at him for the first time or maybe the last? He wasn't sure, all he knew was that there was something very meaningful happening behind those brown beauties that he didn't fully have a grasp on just yet.

"Y'all mind if I order the tickets?" he asked pointing behind him. "There's a cute girl at the counter I'd like to get to know a little better," he stated hiding behind his humor as he had always done.

Everyone handed him their portion of the payment and he headed toward the ticket booth, hoping that the situation wouldn't have imploded by the time he returned. Without the buffering of humor, the remaining five stood in awkward silence awaiting his return, all the while Riley was once again reliving the past in her mind. This time it wasn't the romance that she was recalling with new eyes it was the friendship. Eager to separate herself from the situation, she pointed toward the concessions.

"You know what I'm gonna get something to snack on, Smackle would you mind helping me with the trays?"

Isadora felt certain that Riley was not requesting her assistance so much as she was signaling her for some kind of private consult. She glanced from the friend beckoning to her boyfriend with uncertainty. She had no qualms about being alone with the brunette, but she wasn't so sure that Farkle should be left alone when he'd come to this event purely out of loyalty to their mutual friend. Sensing her unease Farkle was quick to offer a reassuring smile. He didn't know the reason behind the request but trusted both implicitly and so he nodded his approval. It was only a few minutes. He could endure that long until Zay reappeared with their tickets in hand.

"Ooh do you think you could add a thing of nachos to your order honey?" the blonde asked hopefully.

Lucas turned to her quizzically.

"Why do you always get nachos?"

Wasn't that another one of the little things that he should know about his girlfriend?

"Because it's the closest thing I can get to tacos in this joint," she spoke as if it were obvious.

Riley forced a smile in response and again Smackle could swear she detected displeasure in her countenance. It was agreed that she would add the request to her order as long as Maya was willing to contribute payment for her part of the order. Having used all her money on the ticket itself, it was Lucas who fronted the rest of the couple's expenses for the evening.

"Are you alright?" Isadora inquired once they were alone in line for the refreshments.

The brunette turned to her with a sigh.

"I wanted to ask you that. Look, I don't know what makes Maya say the things she does, but she had no right to criticize your relationship like that. You and Farkle care about one another and how you choose to express that is entirely up to you. There's no right or wrong way as long as both know what you mean to one another," she had watched her best friend's comment fill Smackle with doubt and she wouldn't allow it. She knew all too well how easily one could be influenced by such words.

The dark haired girl gave a watery smile in reply.

"I hope that he knows…I'm not always very effective in displaying emotions correctly," she surmised regretfully.

The brunette fought the urge to hug her, knowing it might make her uncomfortable.

"Believe me he knows."

By the time the girls returned with everyone's snacks Zay was handing out their movie stubs. One by one the friends groaned as they read the title of the latest psychological thriller printed on the small piece of paper.

"Really man?" Lucas asked, more for the girls than himself.

He didn't mind scary movies, but he knew for a fact that Riley did.

The second Texan threw his hands in the air dramatically.

"What can I say? The girl has a very promising career in sales. She's got a special kind of persuasion,' he replied dreamily.

Translation, she had flirted with him and so he had purchased the tickets that would benefit her paycheck the most. With tickets and treats in hand they filed through to the correct theater only to find that the girl at the front desk must have flirted with every teenage boy in the entire city to fill those seats. After scouring the area, they found a row with enough free seats for everyone in their group. Their only trouble now being who would sit with whom.

Lucas sat on the very far end next to the aisle while Maya plopped down next to him. Noticing Riley's hesitance Zay took it upon himself to go next, putting him beside the couple. Riley settled in behind him, which left the last two seats for Smackle and Farkle just as the house lights dimmed and the previews began to roll.

Fifteen minutes later the screen faded to black and the ominous music began to play. Riley had promised herself that she wouldn't let the movie get to her but as the creepy writing appeared on the screen her eyes darted down toward her lap. The boy at the end of the aisle glanced across the row to see her staring intently at her bag of gummy bears. The last scary movie they had attended together she had grabbed his arm more than once and spent the majority of the film viewing between her fingers over her face. He hadn't known for sure what to expect from her this time. She had changed so much over the course of the summer, but if her sudden interest in the floor was any indication, this was one way in which she was still the innocent lovable goofball he had known and cared so deeply for.

He had told himself that he would stop thinking about what once was and might have been, but each day he seemed to keep losing that battle. As his green eyes caressed her features under the cloak of darkness he couldn't help but wonder where they all might be had he chosen differently, but he assumed that was normal to wonder about the road untraveled. How could he not, especially when everything was currently such a mess?

Maya watched as Lucas peered over her to the other side of the row. At first she thought maybe he was looking at Farkle. Though he had agreed to attend the group night he and Lucas hadn't spoken so much as a word to one another yet. Come to think of it, he had yet to speak since they had arrived. Three more times the boy next to her looked past her before she realized where his eyes kept landing. A sly smirk covered her lips as she hopped upward to whisper in his ear.

"I can move if you wanna sit with your boyfriend that badly," she offered impishly.

His brows met in the middle of his forehead as his lips parted to protest. She had noticed his waning attention and attributed it to his bromance with his childhood friend. A mixture of guilt and relief flooded his senses, though he wasn't quite sure why he felt so ashamed. It wasn't as if he had been imagining holding Riley's face between his hands and kissing her. He just worried that the movie might be too frightening for her. He was concerned, as any friend would be. That's all.

Not waiting for a reply, the blonde smacked Zay's arm in attempt to get his attention.

"Hey, swap with me," it wasn't a question, but a statement of expectation.

Zay's coffee colored gaze shifted nervously to the brunette next to him. He hated to deny the blue eyed beauty anything. Partially because he wanted her to be happy and partially because she became aggressive when she didn't get her way, but he also didn't want to do anything to cause his little ray of sunshine any pain. Maybe Maya and Lucas had missed all the signals but he had read them loud and clear and it seemed unmistakable that she was intentionally distancing herself from the pair. The choice was more than understandable given the circumstances. It was the timing that perplexed him. Ever since her return she had done everything in her power to make the transition as seamless as possible for everyone. She had helped organize this event, yet showed no interest in the diplomatic unity of their former circle.

Sensing his dilemma, Riley offered him a weak smile. She was giving him permission to do whatever he felt necessary with no judgement or blame. Her glanced back toward the impatient blonde who had already propped herself preparing to exchange seats.

"Nah, that's alright. I'm fine where I'm at," he replied before turning back to the screen in order to avoid interrogation.

Farkle focused all his energy into concentrating on the film, but kept getting distracted from the mystery within the story. It wasn't technically anything new he was observing. For as long as he had known Maya she had been a force of nature; always teasing rather than encouraging, demanding instead of asking. Lucas on the other hand was the exact opposite, he had the makings of a leader but for whatever reason chose to follow instead. Never before had he minded these personality traits or considered them faults but then again, they had never previously been in such a situation where those quirks could inflict such damage.

He knew better than to believe that either Maya or Lucas were bad people. He had witnessed their kindness and integrity many times throughout the duration of their friendship and he knew those things didn't just disappear. Logically, he understood that even good people sometimes made poor choices and that both his so called friends had a tendency to allow their passion to override their reason. Even knowing these things, he couldn't find it within himself to extend the forgiveness neither one had bothered to ask for.

"C'mon Zay!" She whined. "You'll sit with Lucas; I'll sit with Riles. It's a win, win," she insisted, determined to have her way.

Farkle's head snapped suddenly in their direction, his blue eyes blazing with fury and impatience.

"He said no Maya. Just drop it!" He barked before excusing himself. Isadora shifted to meet Riley's gaze, desperate for guidance. It was clear that her boyfriend was in need of comfort but wasn't certain she was the one to give it. The brunette sent her an apologetic smile before following Farkle out the door.

She found him pacing the lobby muttering beneath his breath something about entitlement and cowardice. Gently she placed her hand on his shoulder, drawing him back to the surface. His crystal blue gaze met hers with a sigh.

"I know, I know. I lost it in there. I'm sorry."

Her expression was soft and knowing.

"It's okay Farkle. You don't owe me an apology. I shouldn't have asked you to do this. I wouldn't have had I known the whole story," she replied sadly.

Filled with curiosity and concern the remaining four had exited the theater just in time to catch the tail end of their conversation. He glanced behind his friend to see Smackle and the others standing aside.

"I can't do this! I'm sorry Riley I know I promised you that I'd try but I can't just sit here and act like the last three months didn't happen." He looked back at Zay as his girlfriend stepped forward timidly. "Maybe the four of us can get together sometime," he suggested, taking her hand in his.

Smackle laced their fingers together, glancing shyly at the others.

"Thank you for a lovely evening. Riley. Zay." She felt a slight twinge of remorse not addressing Lucas or Maya but neither had exactly been welcoming and both must have injured her Farkle's feelings greatly for him to break his word to a dear friend.

Zay nodded in acknowledgement while everyone else stood frozen as the couple walked away. Maya stepped forward, palms toward the sky.

"What just happened," her somewhat accusatory tone did nothing to calm the brunette's simmering rage.

Riley turned on her heels to face the girl she had called sister, throwing her hands up in defeat.

"You heard him Maya. He didn't want to be here so he left," she replied, a slight edge in her voice.

Maya shook her head in denial as she tried to process.

"But I thought everything was okay now," the words fell from her mouth like a breathy whisper.

Riley bit down on her inner cheek with a scoff.

"Why would you think that," a dark chuckle tangled in her words.

The blonde's mind began racing to put the puzzle pieces in the correct order, but the picture they were forming made no sense to her.

"Because you talked to him." She reasoned. "You made him understand."

There was that look again. It wasn't displeasure, or even anger...it was disgust. She had seen that look before but never from Riley. Just two nights before they had been giggling and doing each other's nails. What could have possibly changed in such a short amount of time?

Her head tilted slightly as it often did when she was having an epiphany of some kind.

"Actually no, he's the one that made me understand," she countered.

Maya appeared temporarily stumped, as if given a riddle she couldn't solve.

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Had Farkle somehow turned Riley against her?

The brunette's body language grew distant and her expression cold as she stepped back crossing her arms with a defiant spark burning in her eyes.

"It means you lied to me! You said that he was upset because of what you did to me," she pointed from the blonde to herself for emphasis. "You never mentioned that he had grievances of his own to be angry about." She peered past the blonde to focus her fury on both guilty parties. "Did you really think you could slam him up against a wall then ignore him all summer and he'd still want to be friends with you?" She spat angrily.

Zay's brow's raised to meet his hairline, his hands forming a time out signal.

"Whoa! Wait up! Who did what to Farkle?" He asked needing clarification.

The glint in her eyes does down as she turned to Zay, who like her it seemed, had been kept in the dark on the true issue between the pair and their genius friend.

"Oh you haven't heard?" She mocked bitterly, "Lucas and Farkle got in a fight the last week of school. There were punches thrown and Lucas pinned him to the wall with his arm around his neck," she spoke venomously as her gaze shifted to the boy standing next to him, eyes once again fueled with contempt.

Lucas's eyes grew wide at the accusation he couldn't deny,

his heart dropping to his stomach.

"Yeah, he finally told me about that," she confirmed coldly.

Zay turned to face his childhood friend. He had seen Lucas slipping into a version of his former self but never had he imagined it would go so far.

"You did what?!"

Feeling Zay slowly turning toward Riley and Farkle's side of the story Maya rallied her defenses.

"Did he also tell you that he was the one who started it?" She demanded with a sneer.

How did she and Riley keep ending up against one another?

As different as they had always been, never had they been at odds this way.

Was she really trying to put this all on Farkle?! Of course she was. Hadn't that always been Maya's way? If she stole a locket it was because it was symbolic of her absent father. If she went after someone else's unofficial boyfriend she was just following her heart. If she broke every rule in the book it was only because she had no impulse control. Nothing was ever her fault. For years that had been her line and Riley had accepted it.

"Yes he did and believe me I had plenty to say to him on the subject as well but that doesn't make your part in this okay."

For once she wasn't giving anyone a free pass.

The blonde's eyes narrowed as she invaded the space Riley had put between them.

"My part? What did I do? I called for help. I tried to get Lucas to stop-" she persisted as though she were completely innocent.

Riley stepped forward as well. She had gifted Lucas to her best friend on a silver platter that fateful night in Texas. She had stepped back gracefully when he had chosen to be with Maya. She had broken her spine bending over backwards to help put the pieces of their broken bonds into some semblance of a relationship and for what?

"And then you abandoned him for the next three months. Were you too busy cramming your tongue down your boyfriend's throat or were you just waiting for good little Riley to come back and clean up your mess yet again? Because that's how we work right? That's how we've always worked. You get us into trouble and I dig us out. Not this time. I'm done pulling you back to my side of the line. You say you want things to be better then you make the effort because I'm not doing it for you. You broke it, you fix it!"

Maya reeled back as if she had physically been struck. She had never asked to be saved. Riley had taken that responsibility upon herself.

The brunette cast a regretful look in Zay's direction.

"I'm sorry," she apologized to him alone. "I can't do this either."

Zay spun toward Lucas mirroring Riley's look of disgust.

"Wait up cotton candy face," he requested.

Riley paused only a step away from the door as he lit into the fellow Texan.

"I knew it! The minute you started this triangle nonsense I knew something like this would happen! I always thought you were this great guy; defender of the weak, would do anything for his friends. Now you're the guy you used to protect other people from."

Lucas opened his mouth to defend himself, but what could he really say? He couldn't so instead he watched helplessly as two of the most important people in his life walked away washing their hands of him. Maya stood motionless trying to figure out how the night had gone so horribly wrong when literally nothing had happened. He glanced over at her but this time there was no fire to spur them forward. Only regret.

"Why did you defend me?" He asked, his voice void of all emotion.

The blonde shrugged in response.

"I don't know, isn't that what a good girlfriend is supposed to do?" She said, answering his question with one of her own.

He sighed deeply, his heart feeling as though it were trapped in a vice. Every beat required maximum effort just to keep him from drowning in his own self-loathing.

"But they're right," he stated dully before walking past her and straight out the door.

In no hurry to face his reflection he decided to take the long way home; the way that would pass right by her apartment building. He didn't want to fight or even to talk. He just needed to be in her presence. He needed to feel her beckon the best of him from beneath the flaring temper and warring emotions. He needed to know that she still believed in him. Up the fire escape he climbed slowly. He didn't know what he would say once he reached the top but he knew he had to see her.

Riley yanked the earbuds from position and unlocked the window, leaning out against the frame.

"What do you want Lucas?"

How many times had she told him not to come there? How many times had she told him things had to change? And yet there he was disrespecting her wishes...not that she could blame him. She had trained all of them to do so each time she had let it slide without so much as a word.

He flinched at the chill in her tone. Of course he had known how she would feel about him showing up there but it wasn't a matter of what he wanted this time. It was a matter of need.

"Can we talk about what you said back there? About what Farkle told you?" He inquired cautiously.

She glanced off to the side, avoiding those dark green spheres that had a way of holding her spellbound.

"There's nothing you can say that's going make this better," she insisted as she attempted to swing the window closed but he caught it in his hands.

"Please just listen," he implored as her brown eyes narrowed menacingly.

"To what, your excuses?"

He was beginning to think it was possible that he had misinterpreted her hatred as anger; the thought left him bruised and aching. He understood why she would be disappointed in him. He was just as disappointed in himself, but she had always seen the best of him even when faced with the worst. She had to know that goodness was still there.

"Please just try to understand," he pleaded, but was quickly cut off.

"Understand what? That you have a dark side and sometimes you get caught up in a moment and make the wrong choice? I understand that. Understand that Farkle threw the first punch? I get that too and I told him as much..." For the first time since their confrontation in the theater her features softened. "But the Lucas I knew? He would have admitted that he was wrong and tried to make amends. He would have done whatever he had to do to make it right and you didn't do that."

Shame filled him as her voice trembled slightly. How was it possible that when he thought he could sink no further he found yet another way to let her down?

His mouth suddenly felt dry and he tried to swallow the feeling down.

"Riley I..." He trailed off, realizing that she had been right all along. There was nothing he could say to make this any better.

No good would come of it but she looked up into his face. Even now, she could feel his pain and wanted nothing more than to take it all on so that he wouldn't have to, but that would do neither of them any favors.

"You know everyone keeps talking about how much I've changed but I'm not the only one. You've changed too and quite frankly I don't think I like who you're becoming."

She wasn't the only one.

"I've been trying so hard to be okay with this because I knew it would make it okay for everyone else and that's what you all needed from me but this isn't okay Lucas none of it, and I'm done pretending it is," Lucas tenderly thumbed away the teardrop threatened to fall down her cheek.

He wanted more than anything to beg her forgiveness and assure her that the boy who had promised he was worth it was still inside him somewhere, but even if he found the right words she had no reason to believe him. All he knew was that each time he said goodbye to her their parting grew a little more painful and a little more permanent. He couldn't do it again. He had already lost her heart. He wouldn't lose her friendship too.

* * *

Farkle sat impatiently tapping his thumbs against his thighs as he watched the scenery passing by through the window. Granted, with the subway underground there wasn't much to see. With a captor on either side and no clue as to their destination, he had only two choices. He could either sit and wait to see where they ended up taking him or he could attempt to work it out for himself in his mind. They had boarded on the C Line on Chambers Street and appeared to be traveling uptown, which meant they could be headed anywhere from Chinatown to 168th Street in Manhattan.

As the car pulled to a stop the doors opened and passengers began to flow outward, replaced with new ones coming in. He glanced over to his right where Zay Babineaux sat wearing a mischievous grin which made the young genius rather nervous. He then shifted his gaze to the left where Lucas Friar sat with a similar twinkle in his eye that was far from reassuring. Another ten minutes passed and still not a word had been spoken between them. The two boys communicated through facial expressions while their captive sat sandwiched in between.

As far as he knew this was the closest that any of them had been in months. Having known the girls the longest, and how important it was they stay together, Farkle had strongly resented Lucas for his decision to choose between them. He had tried his best to maintain the balance with both Riley and Maya but it was no use. One was beginning to turn toward the person responsible for the rift, while the other was slowly drifting away. Both friends were shutting him out, which had only fueled his anger more. It wasn't until Lucas had been driven to come to him with his concern for Maya that Farkle began to reconsider the source of his frustration and assign it to the situation rather than the person sitting next to him.

Perhaps because Zay had known Lucas longer, or because he didn't understand the severity of the consequences, he harbored no hard feelings toward him, despite his choice; which was why the brunette had been shocked to discover that self-proclaimed comedian had taken Maya's side over his childhood friend's when she had asked him to. Just as the first choice had caused him to lose respect for one friend, Zay's decision to stand by the fiery blonde whose flame appeared to be dying, had earned a new level of respect from the genius.

With so much conflict and division between the group of friends, interactions that had once been natural now felt strained and awkward. It felt strange to send a group text asking if they wanted to get together earlier that day after his own plans had fallen through and even more so to be sitting wordlessly between the two of them as they held their destination ransom from him for pure amusement.

Unable to take it a minute longer he threw his hands skyward. "Come on guys just tell me where we're going," he pleaded.

First he turned to his right, to the boy one who was infamous for secret sharing in the name of "a good story" who turned to meet his gaze.

"Yeah," he said, dragging out each letter of the word, "I know what you're thinking and it's not gonna happen. Your reaction if I keep my mouth shut is gonna be a lot better than the one I'd get if I spilled the beans right now," he explained with a waggle of his brows.

The brunette sighed before shifting toward the more sympathetic Texan. If one of them was going to crack, it would be him.

"You're really not going to tell me," he asked once more, his voice softer and more pitiable than before.

Just as he had predicted, Lucas shifted uncomfortably wrestling with his empathy. For a moment he opened his mouth, appearing ready to break, but one very violent head shake from the other pulled him back from the brink, thwarting the genius's plan.

"Sorry buddy, but you'll find out soon enough," he promised sincerely.

Farkle nodded, his mind already switching gears. Empathy had failed but fear was another very effective motivator. Perhaps he could trick them into sharing their location?

"This is kidnapping, you two do realize that right?" He exclaimed loud enough to attract the attention of the surrounding crowd.

Feeling their eyes on him, Zay threw his hands up in protest. "That is not what happened," he insisted to the audience before turning to his so called victim. "You came of your own free will. No one forced you on this train-"

Farkle raised a finger in objection.

"Subway car," he corrected, much to the first boy's annoyance.

"Whatever!" He exclaimed.

Lucas attempted to stifle his chuckle at their exchange. Unlike his friend, he saw the bluff for exactly what it was.

"Calm down Zay. No one's going to prison," he stated emphatically with a smirk.

He humphed in displeasure as he crossed his arms forcefully.

"Ya dang right I'm not," he muttered as the car pulled to another stop.

Ten minutes later they pulled into the station on fourteenth street. Lucas and Zay exchanged glances before turning to the boy between them, each wearing cheesy grins that put his senses on high alert.

"This is us," the blonde announced as he slapped his hands down on his legs, rising to stand.

Hudson River Park was the first attraction to come to mind, though it gave him little hint as to what their activity might be. The park in question had everything from dog parks and playgrounds to a trapeze instructor and...

"Oh no," he mumbled as they exited the subway car.

Batting cages...

Lucas and Zay had been talking about The Fieldhouse batting cages complete with professional simulator for nearly a year, but the rental fee was almost a hundred dollars. Unlike Farkle's family who had money to burn, the two boys had scrimped and saved for months and just when they finally had enough for an hour long rental, a choice had been made and the two boys forced apart by circumstance. Both had been eagerly waiting for the day when their friendships would fall back into place and the original five, now six including Smackle, could resume their circle of unity.

After his conversation with Maya the day before, Zay had made the decision to reach out to his friend and put down the appointment for their day of their celebrated reunion. He had made the choice to support the her, and he would gladly continue to do so, but he could no longer sacrifice one relationship for the other. The advice he had given her held just as true for him. The longer they stayed away the harder it would be to return, no matter what his reasoning for the distance between them.

It was the first Saturday that Lucas and Riley had not spent together since becoming an official couple, and while he had his best friend back, hers had yet to come around. He feared if he left her alone she would waste the day in her window, waiting for comfort that wouldn't come. The image made him sick with guilt and grief. After all, it was his fault that the girls had grown so distant. Had he realized Maya's feelings sooner or Riley's doubt, perhaps he could have prevented the majority of the damage, but somehow he had missed both. Now all he could do was wait and hope that everything would work out as it should, but his faith in the universe was slowly waning against his instinct to protect the heart of the girl he loved.

"You know, when I said I appreciated the value in running the bases I didn't mean that I actually wanted to run them," Farkle stuttered as they walked in the direction of the sports arena in question.

The boys laughed at his feeble declaration.

"You can't run in the cages genius. There's no room." Zay replied throwing his arm around the brunette's shoulders.

Lucas nodded in agreement.

"All you have to worry about is hitting the ball Farkle," he offered with a smile.

The second Texan tilted his head as his mouth formed an upside down u shape, "and that it doesn't hit you," he added jokingly though judging by the way one friend tensed and the other glared neither found his commentary amusing.

"Perhaps it would be best if I cheered from the safety of the sidelines? Nature gifted me with a high IQ and wiry limbs. I'm clearly not built for any form of athleticism," he reasoned.

Getting hit by a ball that Lucas had thrown was one thing. Taking a hit from a machine designed to throw a ball faster than a car was legally allowed to drive was another matter entirely.

It was true that his first few attempts at athletics had not gone well. He had thrown a basketball at Lucas's head and curled up into a ball on his arm, but that wasn't about physique so much as it was practice or in Farkle's case lack thereof.

Zay shrugged as they continued walking toward the sports arena of his dreams. "Okay so you'll never be a freak like Lucas," he replied gesturing to the muscular blonde, "no offense dude," he added only to have Lucas mumble "none taken," before continuing. "But you and I, we're not so different...at least not in body."

Farkle couldn't help but snicker at the addendum. There was something comforting about being with his friends again, even if they were doing something completely out of his comfort zone. Sure, they might tease one another and occasionally make wrong choices but when it really counted they were there for one another. Yes, Lucas had come between Riley and Maya, a fact that he hated, but Lucas had also been one of the people that hunted him down in the janitor's closet and stood up for him when he had wanted to disappear. Zay was the guy who had helped tie their friend to the counter to keep him from doing something he might later regret. Whatever damage had been done the bond was still there. He had to believe it would be the same for the girls.

Lucas and Zay suddenly pulled to a halt as the large blue building came into view. They had spent so long planning and imagining this moment and now it was finally happening. They were standing just outside the sports club of their dreams. A few more steps and they would be inside the 80,000 square foot facility that housed equipment for nearly every sport imaginable, and that was only one of the many buildings in the twenty-eight acre sports village. Farkle approached the doors only to turn back and find his friends frozen in awe. He shook his head at their revelry before opening the door and gesturing toward the entrance.

"I'm pretty sure the batting cages are inside," he teased as the two mindlessly stepped forward, clearly still under some form of trance.

The walls of the hallway were lined with photographs from the 1990's when the park has first been founded. Zay's attention of course narrowed in on one of their very first gymnastic class. His eyebrows rose as he let out a long and low whistle before pointing to a very attractive female in the photo.

"She can teach me the splits anytime," he declared with a wink that made both boys chuckle.

Curiosity getting the better of him, Lucas came over to stand behind, examining the instructor in question. He could admit that she was a very beautiful lady with pale skin, dark hair, and a clean but slightly exotic face. And if he was being completely honest her gymnast figure wasn't exactly unflattering. His eyes traveled down to the date at the bottom with a smirk.

"Check out the date man," he suggested, flashing Farkle a twinkly gleam that told him he should stop looking for the sign in desk and appreciate this moment with them.

Zay shrugged as the brunette made his way over.

"So she's a little older. I can handle a little Stacy's mom action," he argued cockily as though the woman in the picture were already pursuing him.

Lucas could only shake his head and watch while Farkle took perverse pleasure in throwing his arm around their mutual friend with an unusually wicked grin.

"You mean grandma action," he corrected in his know it all tone that made Zay's head snap in his direction with wide eyes.

"Smart boy say what now?" He exclaimed.

A hot mom was...well hot. But a hot grandma? That would just be...weird.

"The park was founded in 1995 and based on this picture she was at least late twenties, early to mid-thirties depending on how well she aged. If she was thirty-five in the 1990's she'd be closer to her fifties than forties," the brunette replied smugly.

Suddenly there was a distinctly feminine "ahem," amongst them. Apparently they had been so caught up in teasing their friend that they hadn't realized they were no longer alone. A young woman who was probably just a few years older than they were, dressed in black shorts and a polo shirt with a small promotional logo was now standing before them, her blonde corkscrews tied neatly in a ponytail.

"If you're done ogling our former gymnasts, I'd be happy to help you check in," she offered with a dazzling white smile and perky tone that no doubt had won her the position of hostess upon arrival.

Lucas stepped forward with an apologetic grin since it was his name their appointment was under and stifled a chuckle as his eyes ticked down to her name tag.

"Thank you Stacy," the other two boys nearly burst into girlish giggles, "that would be great. It's under the name Friar."

She returned to the desk at the end of the hall. Her fingers worked rapidly as she combed through the digital appointment book for the name in question.

"Ah, yes I see you're here for a sixty-minute rental of our batting cages," she glanced up for a sign of confirmation offered in the form of a stoic nod. "Alright Mr. Friar that will be $85.00," she stated with another large white smile probably meant to take the sting out of their very expensive prices.

Lucas and Zay began to root through their pockets for the money they had saved when Farkle stepped up to the desk with uncharacteristic swagger. The batting cages were not his idea of an ideal Saturday but this was obviously very important to his friends and if they were going to do this then they might as well do it right. He leaned his arm against the desk with a charming smirk.

"Actually the appointment was supposed to be under Minkus," judging by the look of recognition in her eyes his name dropping had the desired effect.

"As in... Minkus International?" She asked suspiciously.

Chelsea Piers was not only one of the most popular establishments in the city it was also one of the most corporate sponsored, Minkus International being among those corporations. A reservation under the name Minkus was the equivalent of a golden ticket into Willy Wonka's chocolate factory.

The two boys turned to one another in confusion as they watched their friend pull some laminated form of identification from his wallet, revealing it to the blonde behind the counter.

"Yes, I am the eldest child of Stuart Minkus himself," he said as he slipped the card back into its proper place. "We were meant to be renting the cage that includes the pro simulator. My father's personal assistant remembered to specify that, didn't he?"

Farkle hardly ever worked the system this way. Yes, he was the son of one of the most successful men in the free world, but he preferred not to use that to his advantage. He wanted to earn his own success, on his own merit, but this wasn't for himself so much as it was for her his friends.

Stacy silently cursed whoever had worked the phones the day that call had come in. There was absolutely no record of any such reservation but when one of the sponsor's children show up expecting a reservation you can't exactly say 'sorry you're out of luck. The person behind the desk is an idiot.' Fortunately, there were no other rentals of the cage including the pro simulator for at least two hours. As long as she could persuade them to move along to another service by then, no one would ever have to know that she had broken policy to correct the mistake.

She pressed a few buttons, secretly inserting the missing information before addressing the gentleman at the desk.

"Ah yes, I see it now Mr. Minkus. You and your friends have cage number one all to yourselves. You're also free to drop in on any of our other facilities to your liking, and are listed as a personal guest under our corporate membership package," she assured before calling a coworker to personally guide them to their destination.

A young man in matching uniform appeared to lead them through the building, all the while treating their friend Farkle like the CEO himself.

Lucas turned to his other friend with a dazed expression. "What just happened," he asked feeling as though he had stepped into an alternate universe.

Zay's expression was equally befuddled. "I think they just handed our buddy the keys to the sports palace kingdom," he mumbled in disbelief.

They entered a second hallway to the left with what appeared to be a gymnasium to one side. Unable to resist they two boys found themselves peering in to see a large open space filled with balance beams, hanging bars and even a wall to practice rock climbing. Off the side of the next one was an indoor soccer field and up the stairs were top of the line basketball courts and a studio for dancing. Even Farkle, who knew little of sports or the establishment itself, found himself impressed with the facility, which was good since that was the aim of every worker there that day once they became aware of his presence.

They were hand delivered to the batting cages and given the best of equipment to choose from while the simulator was prepared. Lucas thought that since Farkle was the one to make this all possible he should be the one to go first but he politely refused at which point Zay was more than happy to volunteer. With helmet on his head and bat in hand he took his place as the video screen began to form a pitching mound with a professional pitcher at the helm. He turned back to his friends who were seated in the waiting area together.

"How cool is this?!" He shouted before taking his stance.

The two sat in silence as they watched Zay's bat connect with the first pitch. Though they had enjoyed the day together so far, once alone they were reminded of the elephant in the room. Their reunion in itself was a reminder. The only reason they had come together at all was because they were both concerned about Maya and her recent behavior.

"So have you heard from her," he asked knowing Farkle would understand exactly what he was asking.

The brunette drummed his fingers against the bench as he considered his response and just how much he should say. "We talked a little here and there this week. I was going to try and get her to open up more today but she had to cancel. Bad Chinese takeout," he explained.

The previous day he had gotten a tiny glimpse into her inner workings. Everything that she had said, and more importantly what she hadn't, had confirmed that she was dangerously close to breaking. As much as he hated the idea of her lonely or in pain, he knew that allowing her to feel it was the only way she could truly work through it.

"So do you ever wish that you'd picked her instead of little miss sunshine," Zay asked as he removed the helmet and offered his bat to Farkle, whose blue eyes now resembled saucers in size. "What? Like you weren't thinking it?" He challenged before turning back to his childhood friend eagerly awaiting an answer.

The brunette counted the seconds of silence between them as he once again passed on a turn to participate. Lucas took the bat in hand as he rose from his seat. A smile forming on his lips as his girlfriend came to mind.

"Not really, no. I mean, Maya is beautiful and amazing and a lot of fun...and yeah maybe for a minute there could have been something there, if I were the old me or there was no Riley, but... that's just it. There IS a Riley. A sweet, goofy, golden hearted angel and who I am now is crazy about her and always has been. If it hadn't happened like this, we'd be completely happy together. I'm sure of it." He insisted as he selected a helmet and placed it on his head.

"You ever still wonder how you got yourself in this mess in the first place," Zay inquired, following up his last question.

Lucas bit back a bitter chuckle as he took the bat in hand once more.

"Only every single day of my life," he mumbled before heading toward the cage.

The blonde hovered just outside the grand entrance of pier sixty, feeling like a purple cat in a room of pedigree Persians. She glanced down at the black jeans with the holes in her knees and the bright yellow leather jacket she had dug out from the back of her closet the night before, her bottom lip sucked in between her teeth. Perhaps this hadn't been such a good idea after all, but it was the only way out of this dark empty place she currently found herself in that she could see, and while she wasn't sure what was the right or wrong thing to do, the one thing she knew was that she had to do something. That's what the old her would have done.

She had thought that she could simply wait it out. Time was supposed to be the healer of all wounds, and with enough of it gone by the gravity of the universe was supposed to make what had seemed so large and irreconcilable feel small and insignificant, and maybe if the summer had gone as she planned it could have, but she had given up her best friend just when it turned out she needed her most. She had been so afraid of losing Riley, so caught up in her hurt, her anger, her fear, that she hadn't realized it wasn't just her better half that was missing. So was she.

She had been slowly evaporating for days or weeks, maybe even months? She honestly couldn't say, even after staying up half the night trying to work it out in her mind. Strickler had seen all reflection of herself fading from her artwork and he didn't even know her. A surge of frustration flooded through her. How could a man who had never known the real her see that she was a walking shell of her former self but the people in her life couldn't? Katie wasn't the most attentive mother known to man but one would think she would notice something as important as her child becoming a completely different person.

Her hands balled into tiny fists as her train of thought continued down its treacherous track. Mr. and Mrs. Mathews weren't like her mom. They were as close to perfect as anyone could come and they lived for fixing the broken and healing the wounded. How had they not noticed what was happening to her? She shook her head with a sigh, her golden waves tossing over her shoulders as she chastised herself internally. True as it might be, this thought process was in no way helpful. It didn't matter how she had gotten here or who hadn't noticed. All that mattered now was finding her way back, even if it required some questionable choices on her part.

'Like lying to Farkle?' Her inner voice hissed in disgust.

She hated doing it, and he certainly didn't make it any easier being so sweet and understanding about the whole thing. Not that she should be surprised, that's just the kind of person he was. He was the quiet hero of their story, always there waiting between the windows, ready to catch whichever one of them was unlucky enough to fall. In fact, he'd probably be popping his head through hers in a matter of hours with soup in his hands and concern in his eyes. She couldn't think about that either right now or she might lose her nerve and she couldn't afford that. He would understand if it meant getting the real her back, wouldn't he?

Surely he would.

One deep breath to steady her nerves before taking the plunge. This was her last chance to turn back, but even if she wanted to there was nothing waiting for her back there other than a blank canvass and a best friend who couldn't even stand to look at her, not that she blamed Riley for that. How could she possibly expect the bright eyed brunette to look at her the way she always had before when she had drawn a line between them, turning them into competitors when they should have been on each other's side all along? She had thrown away seven years of friendship and the one person who meant the most to her, and she still didn't even know why she had done it.

The short answer was because she had wanted Lucas, but why did she want him? Because he was a good guy? There were plenty of good guys in their school, guys who weren't hopelessly hung up on her best friend, who she wasn't equally gooey eyed for. Because he was Bucky McBoing Boing? Again there were plenty of other good and attractive options. Because he was Mr. Perfect? No, it definitely wasn't that. If anything that only made her want to break him more. And he wasn't nearly as perfect as he had first appeared. He had a dark side...one that made her knees go weak and her mouth speak nonsense.

Maybe that was it. Maybe it was Texas Lucas she had wanted all along. Not that it mattered because every version of him belonged to Riley, but what would she do once that part of him resurfaced? Would she accept the not so perfect parts of him or would she beat him down into his Prince Charming mold with her silent disapproval? This wasn't helping either. She just needed to get in, find Ronnie, and get out in one piece without thinking about every mistake she had made and everything she couldn't change.

She was a black stain in an otherwise pristine world stepping into what appeared to be a very fancy lunch meeting, and judging by the glances she caught upon entrance they knew just as much as she did that she had infiltrated an event in which she didn't belong. Almost immediately she caught the attention of what she could only assume was some kind of supervisor in her navy blue pencil skirt and matching blazer. Though she couldn't be much taller than the petite blonde, she walked with an air of superiority, peering down at all with a sneer marring her otherwise pretty features. It was with this sense of snobbery that she approached the young girl, eager to remove the one flaw drawing attention from her record of excellence.

"Is there something I can help you with young lady," she ground through bright red lips and a grossly insincere smile. "Perhaps directions to your correct location?" She added, honey dripping from her tongue.

Maya was tempted to shrink beneath the woman's hateful gaze, but that hadn't always been her first instinct, and so she fought the urge. She focused her energy on remaining her apathetic expression, keeping her feelings of intimidation to herself as her blue eyes ticked up to meet the supervisor's gaze.

"I'm in the right place," she insisted silently pleased with how confident she had managed to sound. "I'm just here to drop of something for one of your waitresses. Ronnie Abrhams, she added wishing she had fun to pop or some other stereotypical sign of disrespect to rumple this woman's feathers.

She gave the teenager one last once over with newfound annoyance. "Ah yes. Veronica," she bit out one pained syllable after the next as she pointed her out for the girl to see.

Had she not, Maya might have never recognized her. Ronnie looked like a completely different person in this setting. A social chameleon capable of shifting her colors on a whim, she now appeared every bit the professional in her catering uniform. The only resemblance visible to the artistic wild child of the summer program was found in the bright red hair and clunky black combat boots. The woman waved her over, determined to keep a lid on the impropriety their presence reflected. The sooner the girl gave her whatever she had called for, the sooner she would be gone and her employee could resume working, making herself only a minimal nuisance.

"The two of you will kindly take your business outside the establishment," she sniped before turning her attention solely to the redhead "and you will return to your work promptly."

Maya watched in awe as Ronnie shrugged at the command as though it were a suggestion. If she hadn't been sure that the older girl was the right one to help her find herself again, she was certain now.

"It's almost time for my smoke break anyway," she replied and though there were no more words spoken between them Maya seemed quite certain an "understanding" of some sort had just been reached between the two.

Once outside she let out the amused cackle she had been holding back as she reached into her apron for her open packet of cigarettes and began beating the top against her palm. Maya's eyes narrowed in on the object in her hand with shocking precision. Growing up with Mr. Mathews as her surrogate father she had heard all about the dangers of smoking and how it led to other kinds of experimentation, but Ronnie didn't seem to fall into the picture he had painted for some reason.

"You smoke?" She inquired, instantly wanting to smack herself for asking such an obvious question.

The redhead shrugged yet again as she pulled a singular cigarette from the pack and placed it between her lips, lighting the end and dragging in her first slow taste of the dreaded "cancer stick."

"Only when I work," she responded as she blew a small cloud of smoke into the open air.

The blonde's eyebrows met in the middle of her forehead as her features wrinkled in confusion.

"Why would you continue to work there if it stresses you out so bad you have to smoke just to deal?" Again the stupid words just kept slipping from her mouth. How was she ever voted coolest anything?

'Because she had been.'

Ronnie was tempted to laugh but as she glanced up into the innocent face next to her she decided against it and opted for explanation instead.

"I don't smoke because I need it. Those who smoke get smoke breaks. Those who don't only get one thirty-minute lunch and two fifteen minute breaks," she elaborated between puffs.

Maya nodded as her mind churned over her reasoning. Again she didn't fit the mold that had been assigned her. She wasn't trying to look cool or fit in. She wasn't trying to please anyone but herself and how much damage could she be possibly doing to only have a couple extra minutes to herself while enduring that horrid woman who had met her at the door? While she was lost in thought Ronnie's had wandered as well until it landed on something that needed her attention more than the girl by her side.

"Hey can you hold this for me a sec," she asked sounding somewhat panicked. "I won't be gone long. I just have to tell someone something real quick," she explained as she placed the burning cigarette between the young girl's fingers, who had numbly nodded her agreement, and disappeared back into the building.

Alone she stood eyeing the object in her hand curiously. She shifted it between her fingers until she held it as Ronnie had, between index and middle fingers. She raised it closer to her mouth, but not enough to reach her lips, and back down again. It was a fluid motion and though she felt completely out of place holding the item in her hands, the movement came natural to her. She repeated the gesture, this time bringing it to her lips, but still not daring to taste it. Her head cocked to the side as she considered her predicament. She was already holding the forbidden substance and it felt strangely simple flirting with the line. Part of her was screaming to put it down but was that what the old her would have done?

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't we get upgraded to the mega bucks treatment when they heard Farkle's daddy's name?" Zay exclaimed as they hurried out of the sports club, scanning for the nearest alternative place to have lunch.

"More or less," the genius replied without thought as he surveyed their surroundings.

"And that," he pointed back toward the exclusive sports bar now thankfully behind them with disgust, "is the best they could come up with. Raw fish and green goop to wash it down," he grimaced at the memory.

Lucas chuckled at his friend's summation of the elitist menu.

"It's called sushi and a Kael smoothie and believe it or not, it's what the mega bucks executives request," Farkle explained as his blue eyes landed on what was both a very perplexing and alarming sight.

"Guys, two o clock."

Lucas and Zay's gazes shot off in opposite directions, the first coming up behind and setting the second's on the proper target. Farkle was still frozen but inside his emotions were raging. He wanted to be angry and he'd have every right to after the way she lied to him, but as he stood there watching Maya talking with the older redhead and taking turns with what appeared to be a cigarette, it was concern that overcame all his other senses.

He had suspected that she was struggling more than she wanted to let on. She was without Riley and Maya without Riley was basically an insecure child wrapped in apathetic skin on a mission to prove something. What, he was never quite sure. Perhaps that she didn't need her father or that she was not someone to trifle with? Whatever her mission she seemed equally clueless as to what it might be or how to accomplish it, and that was a dangerous thing. Without any hint as to where she should wander she had a tendency of going too far. Whatever feelings that might cause him to lash out would have to be pushed aside because if he left her to her own devices, she might drift too far out to find her way back.

Zay's jaw dropped to the ground as he attempted to process what was in front of him.

"Uh, am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?" He questioned turning to both Lucas and Farkle, who seemed just as baffled by this turn of events as he was.

Twenty-four hours ago he would have thought she was on her way back to her rightful place within the group. He'd said as much just an hour before between rounds at the cages and at the time it had seemed perfectly possible. She wanted to come back. That much was obvious. She missed her self-proclaimed sister with every fiber of her being, just as Riley missed her. From what he could see, she wasn't staying away because she wanted to, but rather because she didn't know how to come back, if she deserved to. Now there she stood a few feet away, looking both familiar and foreign in that bright yellow leather with a cigarette between her fingers chattering on as if the sky hadn't fallen just a few months before and she hadn't been the one to drive a stake through the heart of their group.

"Isn't she supposed to be at home hacking up bad Chinese?"

Both boys turned at his words this time but neither responded. Why was he the only one speaking? There were questions that needed to be asked. Things that needed to be said and they were all just standing there tight lipped while he held up the conversation singlehandedly.

Unless he had somehow missed that turn at Albuquerque Bugs Bunny was always talking about and ended up in a dessert somewhere with no water and enough desperation to begin hallucinating, which seemed highly unlikely in the middle of New York City, this was not a mirage and he was in fact seeing one Miss Maya Penelope Hart in Hudson River Park, after clearly lying to Farkle about having food poisoning, so that she could talk and share a cig with an upperclassman while he was feeling guilty about reconnecting with his own best friend who he only distanced himself from because she needed an ally.

Finally, someone else spoke up.

"Who is that," Lucas asked glancing over at Zay.

For the last three and half months he had been the closest to Maya any of them could get, only it seemed now that he was no closer than the rest had been. Zay shook his head, the bitter taste of betrayal flooding his system.

"I honestly have no idea man. She never mentioned any new friends and I'd certainly remember seeing them together before if I had."

She had begged for someone to side with only her and he had. He'd put aside his love for his brother from another mother and his fondness of the sunshine girl to be what Maya had needed him to be and she had regarded him with the same secrecy and inconsideration that she had everyone else. She had turned to a stranger. All the sacrifices he had willingly made for the sake of friendship now felt as though they had been for nothing at all.

For the first time since the triangle had come to an end Lucas felt himself being torn in separate directions over the two girls who had come to represent the greatest crossroads of his growing up process. On one hand, Maya had been his friend and though she was much tougher skinned and certainly capable of standing up for herself, she also appeared to be headed for trouble. Despite her dismissal and disdain of him he still cared about her. He wanted her to be happy and have a good life, both of which he knew her current path would hinder her in having. He could try telling her that but she wouldn't listen to him. She would simply grab him by the front of his shirt, call him Huckleberry, and tell him to get out of her way.

She was in danger but she was also dangerous. At that exact moment there was most likely a beautiful brunette pining away at her bay window, waiting for the lightning to her thunder to return, but if she came back like this? She just might strike Riley and their relationship dead and Lucas couldn't and would not allow that to happen. Riley had a different strength than Maya; a quieter, subtler strength, but her reserve had slowly been depleting. She tried to keep it from him with her occasionally forced smiles and half-truths, but he knew she had spent all her energy just trying to get by and would be defenseless against this new version of her best friend. Never had he tried to come between them but Riley was his girlfriend and it was his fault this was happening to her. He had to protect her...even if it meant keeping her from the person she wanted most.

"So...no one's gonna say anything?" Zay asked though he suspected he already knew the answer.

Farkle was most likely concocting a plan on the best time and place which to address the situation, neither being there or then, and Lucas was in no position to do so. He could he supposed, but for once he decided it was best to close his mouth and say nothing. He couldn't trust what might come out of it at the moment.

"I see a pizza place close by," Farkle offered numbly and the three boys began trudging toward their new destination though none of them really felt very hungry anymore.

Riley let out a startled squeal as she felt a pair of strong arms circle around her waist. Instantly her mind and heart began to quicken their pace. Just how long has he been there without her knowing? Had he seen her bobbing her head along with the beat in her earbuds as she smoothed her newly clean sheets over her mattress? Had he seen her silly over exaggerated facial expressions? The thought made her a little queasy. Alone in her own little world it was okay to be such a goofball, but that wasn't what she wanted him to see when he looked at her. She wanted him to see beauty, passion...fire, someone worthy of him.

Lucas bent down laying a kiss on her cheek, pulling her closer to him as he whispered against her ear.

"Hi."

Her lips curved into a bashful smile as she turned to face him. The moment her brown eyes landed on his face she felt her entire body sigh with relief, happy to be in his arms.

"Hey you," she greeted as she squirmed in his embrace, determined to complete the task of making her bed.

Releasing her waist, he reached out taking her hands into his own, enjoying the way she threw her head back to rest on his shoulder. He'd been up all night thinking about what he had seen the day before and whether or not he should tell her. Part of him had selfishly hoped that Farkle would be the one to do it, but she deserved to know things had changed and it had unfortunately fallen on him to share the unwanted news.

She turned to face him with that sweet smile he adored so much and he lost heart. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt anyone, but especially not her, and that's exactly what he was there to do. He thought back to the day of the choice, sitting there in that window between him, knowing he was going to have to choose and someone would leave with a pain that he had caused. Doing that to Maya had been hard enough, but he'd never imagined he'd have to do the same to Riley after his decision had been made.

"Hi," he repeated the word.

It was such an important word. It was a beginning. It was their beginning. It was literally the first thing she had ever said to him. He smiled at the memory of the bashful girl who had fallen into his lap two years before. In that time she had become more to him than he had ever thought possible. She wasn't just a friend. She was his best friend; more than Zay, more than Farkle, more than anyone. She wasn't just his first girlfriend. She was his first love, his only love, and even though everyone kept saying it wouldn't always be this way he couldn't picture ever feeling this way for another girl. How could any other girl ever compare to what he had now?

Riley watched her boyfriend with cautious eyes. She and Lucas had always been close but the last few months they had grown even more so, if that was possible. She knew him in a way she hadn't before, understood him in a way she hadn't. Before she hadn't been able to see the pain and confusion in his eyes when she had pushed him away but she could now and one look into those murky green orbs told her there was something unnerving hiding within them.

"Did boy's day not go well," she asked gently.

She wasn't the only one that had suffered a loss that summer. Lucas had lost his best friend too and though he thought she was unaware of its toll; she knew how much the day before had meant to him.

He shook the question off with a halfhearted smile of his own as he absentmindedly played with the delicate fingers in his hands.

"No, no. Actually it went really well. Farkle even ended up joining us. We had fun."

His words were all positive but there was still something wary in his gaze which seemed to linger anywhere but her face. She angled her own to meet his, thwarting his efforts to hide from her.

"Then why do you look so sad Lucas? Something is obviously wrong. Tell me. Whatever it is, we'll fix it together," she laced their fingers together as a symbol of her promise which made him smile again, but did nothing to lighten the torture he seemed to be feeling.

This was exactly how she had won his heart; with her light and her faith. No matter how bleak or terrifying the situation, even when he wavered, she stood by him for no good reason other than she believed in him. She wanted to fix this together, but it was together that they had broken it. He tightened his grip on her fingers knowing right now she was holding him but very soon she would be the one needing him to hold her.

"While we were out yesterday we saw Maya," he began slowly examining her every feature. Her head fell to the side as she grew contemplative.

"Maya? What was she doing there?"

He took a deep breath summoning what little courage he could muster.

"She was there talking with some girl. She looked older, had bright red hair. I think she worked there, but that's just a guess. I don't know for sure."

He watched as Riley's wheels began to turn. Okay, he had seen Maya while he was out and she was talking with another girl but not to any of her friends. She could see why that would upset him, but not to the degree he was showing...not unless she had underestimated his residual feelings for her best friend or there were more to the story. Perhaps it was what happened after they spotted her that was troubling him so? Please let there be more, she thought to herself. He thought maybe there had been more questions she would want to ask which he would happily answer; anything to avoid the inevitable heartbreak that would take place once the story was complete but her silence and expectant gaze urged him forward.

"Riley she...she had a cigarette in her hand." He had expected some kind of reaction but to his surprise there was none. Maybe she was still in shock? "She and this girl were taking turns smoking it together."

His words hung in the air as he waited for any change in her demeanor. After what seemed an eternity she blinked rapidly shaking her head in denial.

"No."

He had imagined every way that this could possibly go and yet somehow he found himself caught off guard by this particular response.

"No?" He parroted, as if saying it would cause it to make perfect sense.

"It wasn't her," she insisted as she pulled her hands back and they began illustrating her argument. "My dad has been talking to us about the dangers of smoking since we were six years old and I know Maya likes to pretend she doesn't care but she listens to my dad. She would never do it after he spent so much time teaching us why it's bad. It had to have been someone else who looked like her. Maya wouldn't do that."

Lucas should have been prepared for this. Of course she would have a hard time believing it. He would too if he hadn't seen it with his own eyes. He placed his hands on her shoulders, his eyes rooting her to the floor.

"It was her. Farkle and Zay saw her too. She was wearing her old leather jacket; the one she had on the day I asked your dad's permission to take you on our first date." He wasn't sure why he knew that or why it had slipped out but it seemed to be the right words to reach her because she grew quiet and still as though she were finally processing what he had said. She looked up into his face and knew it had to be true. He wouldn't have come to her with a suspicion or a guess. He knew what this might do to her. He wouldn't have brought it to her unless he was sure.

This was why he had come in with so much pain in his eyes. This was why it had seemed to hurt him to look at her. It couldn't have been easy for him to see their friend, someone he had cared for as more than a friend, that way. She imagined it was even more difficult for him to come there knowing he had to dump all this on her. Lucas hated doing anything to cause anyone pain. It was one of the things she loved best about him.

She offered him the best smile she could achieve under the circumstances with an easy nod and dark unreadable eyes that made him nervous.

"Thank you for telling me. I know that had to be really hard for you," she laid her hand over his arm as she stretched up to kiss him on the cheek before passing him by heading toward the window. His gaze followed her cautiously.

"Where are you going," he asked in concern.

The brunette turned to face her boyfriend and his question.

"I'm going to find Maya," she stated as if it were obvious before twisting back toward the window. Reacting on impulse Lucas reached out latching onto her arm and spinning her round once more.

"I don't think that's such a good idea." He replied as she stared down venomously at the hand holding her hostage. She squirmed in his grasp as she attempted to pull her arm back.

"That's funny, because I don't remember asking your opinion Lucas," she snarled angrily.

He knew that look and that he was in trouble, but he had to hold his ground. He had always accepted when Riley placed Maya above him, but he would not allow her to sacrifice herself for the blonde. Each time she had reached out since the day she had become his girlfriend she came back in tears and that was the Maya that had loved her like a sister. Neither of them knew this new version of her or what she might be capable of and while the brunette was roaring her fury at him, she would become timid and fragile under her former best friend's icy glare.

She huffed in frustration as she tried once more to free her arm. He wasn't hurting her. He would never do that, but he was holding her captive and she didn't appreciate it one bit. Maya was out there somewhere hanging out with people who were obviously a worse influence than her own had ever been. She knew how bad smoking was and yet she was doing it anyway. What other bad choices might she be making that Riley didn't know about? She needed to get to her. She needed to fix this, but she couldn't if he wouldn't unhand her.

"Lucas, let go of my arm," she demanded sternly.

He wanted to. He hated that he'd grabbed her like this in the first place, but he had been desperate to keep her from going out that window and for some strange reason this was the first response that had come to his mind.

"I'll let go," he assured her, but as he was doing so his brain realized that nothing had changed between now and when he had first taken hold of her. The second she was free she would be out that window hunting down a girl who didn't seem to want to be found, and dragging her back no matter what it might cost herself.

"But I need you to calm down first," he insisted.

Calm down?

"Calm down?!" She growled, even angrier than she had been before.

Oh boy, thought Lucas as he contemplated his predicament. He had seen her like this before when she had attacked him with the water hose and dumped a bucket of water over his head, but right now the only weapons of convenience would result in blunt force trauma and though he knew Riley was generally a very gentle person, he also knew she was much stronger than she or most realized and if any subject could push her over into violent territory it was the one they were currently on. That was enough to make him relinquish her arm and take a step back.

She glared at him menacingly, an overwhelming sensation she was unfamiliar with flooding her senses. It wasn't hatred. She could never hate anyone and she really couldn't hate Lucas, but it something more than the anger or disappointment she had known before. She didn't want to dwell on that feeling, whatever it was, for too long, nor did she want to be fighting with her boyfriend. The best thing she could do for everyone concerned was go find Maya and give the matter between her and Lucas time to settle and return to it later with a clear head.

"Thank you for releasing me," though she was expressing gratitude her words were flat and impatient. "Now if you'll excuse me," she said as she attempted to pass him but he stepped to the same side blocking her path.

"I'm sorry Riley. I can't let you do that."

What was he doing? Didn't he understand that they were in the middle of an argument and that she was trying to end it peacefully before things got out of hand? This was how breakups happened and he didn't want that...did he?

She shuffled to the other side, attempting to maneuver around him but again he mirrored her movements cutting off her access to her exit of choice. Her eyes narrowed into slits as she shifted to the other side only to be thwarted once more.

"Lucas get out of my way," the brunette commanded but he didn't budge from his position in front of the window.

Instinctively he reached toward the back of his neck. He hated this. He didn't want to be the thing standing between her and Maya. He never had. But he couldn't trust that this new Maya wouldn't hurt Riley, and he couldn't stand back and do nothing while someone or something, even if that someone was a person he cared about, hurt her.

"I'm sorry Riles, I can't."

He knew that she didn't understand and even if she could she wouldn't agree with his choice. He just hoped she would realize that everything he had done had been out of love.

He couldn't? Of course he could. One simple step to the left or right and he could very easily remove himself as an obstacle but for some reason he wouldn't. He was making the conscious choice to put himself between her and her best friend and that thought made her blood simmer.

"You mean you won't," she corrected pointedly with a shift of her head.

Lucas placed his hands on his hips, his lips forming a thin line. The word won't implied that that he had a choice in the matter and he honestly didn't feel that was the case. He glanced up from the floor just in time to see her lips twisting into a smile as she crossed over and placed her hand on his arm once more, gently running her fingers against his skin.

"You know when you stand like that you kind of look like Superman," she said as she peered up at him through her lashes in a way that made him both embarrassed and excited at the same time. "A real life hero...you defend the weak and innocent, you conquer the wildest of creatures, and you catch the damsel when she's in danger of falling and humiliating herself. His green eyes had been watching the gleam in her brown orbs, the sincerity in her smile, but appreciating her smile had fixated his gaze on her lips and now he couldn't seem to tear it away from them.

It happened so quickly. Her eyes shifted to the side before she turned and rushed toward the door. It took only a second to realize what she had done and his body retaliated, his long strides reaching her before she could make her great escape, pinning her against the door with his hands on either side of her. She was trapped. Indignantly she whipped round to face him, her breath catching when she found his lips and every other part of him not even an inch from her own.

Neither were sure how they had wound up in their current position or who had made the first move. The only thing he knew for certain was that one minute he was standing there staring down at her lips and the next they were moving against his...angrily, almost violently. Her fingers dug into the hair at the nape of his neck as his arms circled her waist, molding her body to his, pressing them both against the closed door. She leaned further in and he could feel her chest heaving, either from the exertion of the run or their current activity, from which he couldn't be sure. She pulled at him desperately, not really certain what she was searching for.

And then just as suddenly as it had occurred it was over. Her brown eyes flew open and he felt her thrust him away. They stood opposite one another, both wearing a mask of shock and confusion as they examined the other for any sign of clarity.

"What just happened," she asked, her voice trembling.

Lucas swallowed hard. He knew that she wanted some kind of explanation for what he'd just done but he didn't have one. Just like that night in Texas something had taken over him and he'd reacted.

'At least this time it was with the right girl,' he thought.

"I'm not really sure," he admitted with a sigh.

She nodded as she bit down on the corner of her lip, which did nothing to help the thoughts in his head or the unnamed need that was gnawing at him.

"So what happens now," she ventured timidly.

What did happen now?

"I guess we either go back to fighting or kissing. Personally, I prefer the second option," he added with a smirk, the taste of her still tingling on his lips.

She giggled as she brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. "As much as I enjoy kissing you, I think there's a third option to consider," she suggested her voice barely above a whisper. "Maybe instead of arguing or doing that...we should sit down and talk...figure out why we were fighting in the first place."

Lucas nodded with a smile offering his hand. "I think that's a good idea," he replied as she laid her hand in his and he led them toward the window.

The petite blonde took in a long deep breath as she examined the wall in front of her. For some reason she had thought it might be different under the circumstances but the longer she stood there the more she was realizing that the wall was nothing more than the world's largest blank canvass, a fact that only increased her nerves where her lack of inspiration was concerned. She turned hesitantly to her mentor and friend.

"I'm guessing you've done this before?"

The girl cackled in response. "I might have, hypothetically speaking of course."

The young woman turned to face the wall again. She had made up her mind she was going to do it. Now all that was left to do was to take the first step. For a brief moment she wondered when she had become so afraid to move and why, but that thought was quickly discarded as she focused on the task at hand.

"I have no idea what I'm doing," she admitted breathily.

Ronnie smirked as she began to unload the backpack full of spray cans and hand one to her young protégé. She could see the girl was still at war, fighting between the cautious half of herself that was determined never to make a mistake, and the artist who was scratching and clawing its way through, just dying to be set free. The important thing was that she knew who she wanted to be and had reached out for assistance. She just needed to get in touch with that part of herself again.

With their resources now prepared she climbed to her feet and moved toward the wall with a spray can in hand.

"I told you that I'd help you," she reminded with an impish grin. "Alright, last thing's first-"

Maya's brows crinkled in confusion. "Don't you mean first thing's first?" She asked curiously.

The redhead laughed again. She seemed to find the young girl extremely entertaining because she laughed at her often. "No, I meant last thing's first. Spray painting is kind of backwards. Instead of painting from front to back you go back to front. So you don't start with the skyline, you start with the sky, specifically the storm, unless you want your clouds hanging over your aurora borealis," she linked a brow as she popped the top off her can.

The blonde nodded, shaking up the can of dark purple paint she had been handed. 'You can do this,' she told herself over and over again, but could she really do it? She took another deep breath attempting to steady her nerves as she mimicked Ronnie's one handed lid removal. Her first strokes were timid and precise, making the older girl chortle even more.

"It's okay to get into it, ya know? You don't have to be so neat and careful. You're gonna end up painting over half of it anyway," she mused.

Neat and careful? Maya Hart had been called many things in her young life, but those two weren't usually on the list.

The blonde extended her arm, making a wide streak of dark violent with a devilish grin. Then another, and another, until she was no longer thinking about what she was doing at all. She reveled in the sensation. When was the last time she had honestly felt that free? She couldn't remember, but she knew it had been a long time, so long she had nearly forgotten the feeling.

For months she had been afraid to move, to breathe, to lose. She had criticized her every thought, every feeling, trying to force herself into a nice little mold of what she thought she needed to be. And what had it gotten her? She had never even had a chance at having Lucas, she had lost her best friend, she'd even lost her art. What was the point in trying to be that girl when she was still always the one left behind?

Her friends had tried their best to understand but how could they when they had parents who had actually cared enough to stay and be present? They had tried to help fill that hole, especially Riley. She had given up everything that ever belonged to her in her attempts to fill that gaping void; her family, her home, her room, her friends, even Lucas. She had given up everything trying to make Maya happy and Maya had let her because she was Riley Mathews and had everything to give. Unlike Ronnie who knew exactly what it felt like to be broken. Riley was her better half, but Ronnie was a kindred spirit.

"So um, where'd you disappear to yesterday during our talk? You came back but you never said," she inquired as she switched colors and began on the second layer of the piece.

Ronnie worked steadily, not even glancing toward the girl as she spoke.

"My mom," she offered with a shrug. "We were working the same event yesterday. Doesn't always happen, buts it's nice when it does."

The blonde nodded, running a free hand through her hair.

"So she's a waitress too?"

The redhead shook her head with another amused giggle as her hands continued to fly across the wall.

"Singer. She came out here to be a professional, her and a friend. One of them is on tour right now and one is a single mom who works two jobs and still never catches a break," she stated the words as though she were talking about a stranger or a character from a story. "How about you? What's your mom do?"

Maya sucked her cheek in as she considered her response. The truth was that she hated that question. She always had. It wasn't that she was ashamed of her mom or what she did. It was just that it wasn't a fun conversation to have.

"She's a waitress too."

Ronnie nodded.

"And what did she really wanna do?" The redhead asked causing Maya's head to snap back in her direction.

How could she possibly have known that? Sensing her question, the older girl elaborated. "No one comes to the city to be a waitress Baby bird. Everyone wants to be somebody, so what kind of somebody did she want to be?"

The blonde bristled at the nickname. "She wanted to be an actress. Guess the universe had other plans," she trailed off.

The two teenage girls continued to spray, and stroke, and blend, until the picture in Maya's head was perfectly transcribed onto the wall. She took a step back to examine her work, beaming with pride. The light blues and greens and purples swirled around silhouetted skyline like a halo of safety and hope, the storm raging in the distance. It was her first piece in weeks and it was everything she could ever want it to be.

The blonde turned tentatively toward her friend, "thanks for this," she mumbled with quiet gratitude.

The redhead nodded with a smile. She knew how difficult those few words must have been for the girl to say.

"Do you know why I call you baby bird?" She asked inquisitively.

Maya scoffed at the hated nickname.

'Because I got pushed out of the nest and spent all summer flailing before landing on the ground with a great big painful plop,' she chastised internally.

"It's the same reason Strickler the stickler was so hard on you this summer. You're talented, there's no doubt about that, but you're still learning. His job wasn't to tell you how great you are. His job was to teach you how to be better-" she tried to explain.

"But he didn't make me better-" the blonde shot back angrily, but was quickly interrupted.

"Because you took it the wrong way. You're so used to being praised that you don't even recognize constructive criticism. You're not in middle school anymore. People aren't here to stroke your ego. They're here to help you from getting too comfortable to move forward. You can stay good or you can be great. It's up to you."

Maya had never really thought of it that way. Ms. Kossal had never had a bad word to say about anything she had ever done in her class, but she hadn't really taught her anything either. She had never suggested a different color or technique. She had just let Maya do whatever she wanted and then praised her for it.

"You really think I can be great?" She asked, her voice barely above a whisper.

Once again Ronnie laughed as if she had told a joke instead of asking a serious question. "You're gonna fly baby bird but first you've gotta learn how to use those wings of yours," she declared as she slung an arm around the younger girl's shoulders. Now you've just gotta sign it and we're good to go."

Her blue eyes grew round at the statement.

"Sign it? Are you crazy? It's illegal street art. I can't exactly put my name on there!"

The redhead smirked.

"I wasn't suggesting that. I mean a tag name. Something you use so people recognize its yours," she elaborated by pointing out a few on the surrounding pieces.

Maya grabbed the white spray can and calligraphed the word Baby Bird with a smile. Somehow that word didn't feel like such an insult anymore.


	16. 15-Good as Your Worst Intention

**A/N: Hello my wonderful readers! I hope this chapter finds all of you well. Thank you so much for all of your love and support for this story. Every follow, fave an so review are greatly appreciated and I love hearing your thoughts and reactions. We have some great things coming up in the next few chapters including the third letter!**

The tightly knit group of friends from John Quincy Addams was quickly unraveling. Without the bonds of mutual respect or trust to hold them together, the friendships now hinged upon the necessity of belonging among peers and the power of wishful thinking. Neither of which would be enough to sustain them throughout the remainder of high school, let alone the rest of their lives. It wasn't enough to hope that they would all find their way back together. Unless someone was willing to reach out and take the first step it would only be a matter of time until there was nothing left to salvage. It should have been Maya or Lucas to come to this conclusion and do something about it, but for some reason both seemed incapable of getting there on their own, and so Isaiah Babineaux had taken it upon himself to help guide them there.

His palms began to clam up as he approached the fellow Texan who had been his best friend for most of his life. Silently he wished for pockets as he ran his hands down the legs of his gym shorts. Why did he feel intimidated by the person standing in front of him? He might not be the same person that Zay had grown used to since his relocation to the city, but even as "Texas Lucas" he had never feared his friend. Even back then Lucas Friar had been the best person he had ever known; using his super strength to defend the weak and in his case, loose lipped. But those people were bullies; people who used their own abilities to torment and belittle those powerless to help themselves.

He knew that Superman could go dark. He'd read the comic and seen the movies, but seeing it happen to his real life hero was harder to wrap his brain around. Lucas wasn't a character he was a person, and a really good one at that. So why was he behaving like a villain and how did he not see that's what he had become?

It had been nearly two weeks since that disastrous evening at the movies and Lucas was no closer to accomplishing his promise. He had gone home that night determined to find some way to prove to his friends that he was still worthy of their trust and loyalty. The only trouble was that the three people who he had disappointed weren't giving him the time of day, and there seemed to be nothing to say between him and the one person who was still speaking with him. All that silence had allowed plenty of soul searching, but unfortunately not many answers and very little progress.

He'd taken a page from Riley'

playbook and written down the things he couldn't say. He knew it would take a lot more than words to make things right, but it was a start, and he had to start somewhere. For reasons he couldn't understand they languished in his bag. Every day he carried them with him from opening bell to close of the day. Each day that went by without delivery they felt a little heavier to him and would read a little less sincere to those addressed. If he could just get them to where he'd intended when he wrote them he could begin the long road of making amends. He wanted that more than anything. So why couldn't he deliver the letters?

He was so lost in his thoughts and unanswered questions that he didn't realize who was standing next to him until he heard his voice.

"Hey, uh, Luke...you got a second?"

He glanced up just in time to see Zay's brown eyes shift toward the ground. This was the moment of opportunity that he had been waiting for. This one conversation could potentially open the door to mending his friendships; a thought he had expected to fill him with joy and reassurance. But it didn't. Instead his every atom began to vibrate with an anxious energy searching for a way to avoid the very conversation he had spent weeks hoping for.

"The bell's about to ring," he mumbled as his gaze focused on the pocket containing his letters of remorse before slamming the gym locker closed. "We should get out there."

Zay let out an unusually aggravated scoff as the blonde brushed past him. Whatever hesitance he had been experiencing earlier had now receded and was replaced with something far more disgruntled. There he was, ready to extend mercy; something Lucas had neither asked for nor earned, and he couldn't even be bothered to talk with him? That wasn't like him...at least neither version of him that Zay had known. But perhaps this person wasn't Texas or New York Lucas. Perhaps the reason this person felt like a stranger is because he was, which begged the question who was the guy walking around with his best friend's face, and what had become of either version of the person he knew and loved.

There was a ringing in the air just as he emerged from the locker room; his jaw uncharacteristically set. The teacher had already called the others to huddle round for their daily attendance and lesson plan which Zay joined in time to hear the tail end of. It was only then he glanced around the room and realized the gymnasium had been set up into stations with multiple activities for them to rotate between. His interest quickly landed on the open basketball court, as did that of pseudo Lucas. Both boys began to jog from opposite sides of the room to reach the station before it could fill completely. All the while Zay was formulating a plan.

Because Lucas had been previously established as one of the more athletically capable freshmen, the others had fallen in line behind, leaving him front and center. Glances were exchanged between the remaining students as in an unprecedented turn of events Zay stepped forward to take the opposing position; his brown eyes fixed on the stranger before him. The fellow Texan's eyes grew wide as he felt himself staggering backward though in reality he was standing perfectly still. For as long as he could remember he and Zay had always been on the same team. Both crouched down in the center of the court, preparing for the tip off.

"Guess it's just you and me Mr. Perfect," the words rolled off his tongue dripping in sarcasm.

The blonde prickled at his comment but quickly shrugged it off. Instead he focused his attention to the self-proclaimed referee. Once everyone was ready to begin the ref tossed the ball into the air; both boys leaping to direct it toward their teammates.

Lucas had an extra inch of height working to his advantage as his fingertips grazed the sphere sending it flying backward. The teams immediately sprung into action following the ball down the court. A member on defense was able to intercept during a pass and drive it toward the other side. Lucas's team members circled round the boy like vultures, forcing him to pass the ball to Zay who made the first basket from the three point line.

They checked the ball and the other team began to pass it down between players, making their way toward the goal at the end of the court. Confident in his ability to complete the play, Lucas's teammate bounced the ball against in floor in his direction, but Zay had anticipated this and swooped in to steal the ball once more. He powered toward his intended target, maneuvering his way around the defense and dunking the ball straight into the hoop. As his feet returned to the ground he shot the imposter a hostile glare that went far beyond competitive nature. He might not be able to take his opponent in a fight, but on the court he could show him exactly where he stood.

Zay's hateful glance reached its intended audience, slicing through whatever defenses Lucas had put up over the last few weeks. The silence had been deafening and the snide commentary hard to take, but he had accepted them as part of the process. It was only now that the walls began to close in around him as the realization struck him. This was not just a basketball game or grade for gym class. Zay was using this assignment as an opportunity to send him a message. He was saying on the court what the blonde had prevented him from saying in the locker room earlier.

But what was he trying to say? He had expected disappointment and anger, but that look had surpassed both those emotions. Had he lost his best friend for good? He should have just let him talk earlier, or better yet given him the letter that was wasting away in his saddle bag. So much of this could have been avoided if only he had made different choices, better choices. No matter how hard he tried to do what he believed was the right thing he kept waking up in places he had never expected to be, with no inclination as to how he had gotten there. Maybe the guy staring daggers at him wasn't the only one trying to tell him something. Maybe the universe was too? Unfortunately he had no idea what either one was trying to say.

With so many thoughts racing through his mind it was impossible to keep his head in the game, and his team suffered the cost. Lucas practically gave points away as he fumbled clumsily through several plays; losing the ball and missing his free throws. At one point he even accidentally passed the ball to the other team. His classmates grew frustrated with his lackluster performance as did the rivaling lead player. Yes, Zay wanted to win, but not like this; not so easily. He wanted a battlefield not a massacre.

"What's the matter Friar, losing your edge?" He taunted as he guarded Lucas from behind. When that failed to provoke the short fused Texan, he upgraded his bait and tried again. "Ya know, if you get desperate enough you can always slam me up against the wall. That's your thing now, right?"

Lucas clenched his jaw as he felt the beginning stages of his anger rising to the surface. Yes, he had made a mistake. He had done something terrible and was painfully aware of that fact. Honestly he wasn't even sure how it had happened. One minute he had sitting there talking to Maya and the next Farkle stormed in looking for a fight. He was bigger and stronger and should never have let it get that far. Like all the other confounding moments of his life he laid awake at night contemplating, it hadn't felt like a decision or a choice. It was involuntary; instinctive. The events that day fell in his mind like dominoes. Each action demanding another. Farkle hit his jaw and then Lucas grabbed Farkle. He hadn't even heard Maya's pleas to release their friend. It was the genius's words which had pulled him from his trance.

"Drop it Zay," he growled as he turned on his heel to drive the ball further down the court; shoving his friend aside with his shoulder as he did so.

Zay snickered as he secretly congratulated himself. Now they were getting somewhere.

Fueled by his newly agitated state, the blonde managed to score his first shot of the game. The ball was checked; putting him now in the position of guarding his current tormentor.

"Drop it huh? Like you dropped me all summer? Or Farkle?"

Zay was like a child in an elevator, pressing every button his friend had just to watch them light up one by one. He'd struck a nerve throwing the incident with Farkle in his face, but it hadn't been enough. If this plan of his was going to work he needed to push Lucas even further and there was only one way he could think to do that. He had been there in the background quietly observing for nearly a year. He was known as the gossip, the commentator, but it was the words he held back; the thoughts he didn't say that held the most power.

Lucas might not know why he was so conflicted but Zay did. He had seen the yearning glances at the movies as well as the rage that had reared its ugly head the day the brunette caught him kissing her best friend. There was no doubt in his mind that Lucas felt something for the vivacious blonde otherwise he never would have chosen her, but he also knew that whatever he had felt for her bubbly counterpart had not faded or vanished. She clearly still had his heart, or at least half of it, in a vice, though none of the three seemed to be aware of that fact.

"Or like you dropped Riley for Maya?"

Saying the words was like detonating a bomb and Lucas reacted just as Zay thought he would. He glanced down sideways to see the blonde curling his hands into fists.

"That's not what happened," he barked in defense.

Zay made it sound so vulgar and common, as though the girls were interchangeable to him. But they weren't. There was only one Riley, and only one Maya, and neither could fit in the other's place.

The boy smirked at his friend's growing temper.

"Oh that's right, I forgot. You're still trying to have your cake and eat it too," he snuck in one final blow before faking a left, only to turn the other way and sink the ball into the hoop.

The game was completely forgotten as Lucas saw red. Without thought, he reached out to grab his childhood friend by the front of his shirt and lifted him off the ground to meet his glowing green eyes.

"You don't know anything about me and Riley," he snarled, "or me and Maya!"

It wasn't until this exact moment that Zay realized the one flaw to his plan. There was a reason why up until now he had never provoked Lucas. The guy was Superman and Isaiah Babineaux was no millionaire vigilante. He had done everything in his power to set the blonde off, making himself the target of all that pent up aggression. If he didn't say just the right thing to snap Lucas out of his rage then he was going to get hit and it was going to hurt. The fate of of the free world might not be hanging in the balance but the fate of their group and Lucas himself depended on the success of his scheme. He couldn't afford to fail.

"I know you're standing there ready to pummel one of your best friends to a bloody pulp yet again," he boasted defiantly.

The features on Lucas's face began to soften. The creases from narrowing his eyes were fading, his hard set jaw unclenched and his grip instinctively loosened.

What was he doing?

What was wrong with him?

A high pitched whistle rang through the air.

"Friar, Babineaux, is there a problem," their teacher called as he eyed them suspiciously.

Lucas pulled his hands back, he would have anyway now that he aware of what he was doing. He watched as Zay took a step back from him and shook his head in denial.

"No problem here teach."

They were ordered to rotate to the station on their left. From the basketball court the next one was taking laps around the gym. Lucas had intended to keep his distance after the latest incident but Zay sought him out.

"I saw the look," he said as he jogged by the blonde's side.

His green eyes narrowed, this time not in anger but confusion.

"What look?"

Why was Zay even talking to him after what he had done?

Zay chuckled at his friend's expression. Yes, he had gotten grabbed and shouted at but he had gotten something else of equal importance; evidence that the guy he knew was still somewhere in there.

"The one you got when you realized what you were doing."

He paused, hunching over with his hands on his knees to catch his breath. Talking and running just didn't go together it seemed. Lucas too, ceased moving. He wasn't sure what Zay was getting at. Honestly, he was just grateful that his childhood friend didn't appear to hate him, though he had given him good reason to.

"Look Luke, I ain't gonna lie. You've made some crappy choices lately. You've hurt people I care about and I'm angry about that...but you're not just hurting them. You're hurting yourself too and my guess is even after we eventually forgive you for everything you've done, you'll still be kicking yourself for it."

It was an extraordinary leap of faith on Zay's part, and Lucas wasn't sure how to respond. He wasn't sure he deserved his friend's confidence or that he wouldn't end up accidentally betraying it.

The blonde shook his head, running a hand through his hair.

"Why are being so easy on me? Riley was right, I've been a horrible friend. I've been a bully and a coward. How can you not hate me right now?"

Even he hated himself for what he had done.

Zay just laughed again.

"Because I know you man. You're Mr. Perfect, you're moral compass. You always try to do the right thing and you know what you did was wrong. If you knew how to fix this you would. The way I see it, you just need a little help. You need a friend."

The blonde's lips curled into a smirk as he replayed their conversation in his head.

"You were testing me, weren't you?"

The second boy's face broke out into mischievous grin.

"Test is such an ugly word," he said extending his hand for their routine shake, "but if I did, you passed." He finished with a wink.

The two boys completed their handshake before resuming their run. Lucas knew he still had a long way to go before he could make peace with the others, but it felt good knowing that he wasn't alone. He didn't know how or why he had lost his way, but for the first time he had hope that he could find his way back.

Having a mouth without a filter was a lot like carrying a loaded weapon. Riley had always known this. It was why she had wasted countless hours of her life questioning her every thought and imagining every possible reaction. She had stood on the sidelines listening to the people who had no concern for the consequences, wishing just once she could be like them. Now she was. After all that dreaming and praying, she finally had the ability to speak without thought or conscience, and ironically she found herself now wishing for the very consciousness she had cursed so often. It didn't matter that everything she had said that night was completely true, or that it had felt incredible to speak the words aloud. They were her friends and they were hurting. Both those facts robbed her of whatever joy that release had inspired.

Her hurtful words had ground salt into the wounds that had just been starting to heal and now everything between the six lay bare and infected. Despite what she had said that night she didn't really want her freedom. She just wanted it to be over; all the pain and disappointment, all the ways they kept hurting each other. Yes, Maya and Lucas had made their fair share of mistakes but none of them were altogether innocent. Herself included.

"Hey Juliet," his sultry voice beckoned her from the corner of her mind responsible for deep thinking.

Her brown eyes rolled in response.

"Please stop calling me that," she asked in a forced honey-like tone that made one corner of his mouth lift into a smirk.

He leaned in closer, sending her senses on high alert.

"Why? It's a nickname; a term of endearment. It means that we're friends now." He replied, goading her on.

Over the weeks he had learned to enjoy their little game of cat and mouse, though there were times he was no longer certain which role he was playing.

She shook her head; her brown curls dancing with the motion.

"Actually it's a term of annoyance that means you enjoy pushing my buttons," she retorted with a playful gleam in her chestnut eyes.

As usual Farkle sat back observing with wide eyes. Over the last few weeks he had slowly began the process of getting to know this strange new classmate who had such a fascinating effect on his best friend. What he hadn't anticipated was that in his attempts to protect her his character study would blossom into a genuine friendship of its own. From what he could decipher, Caleb Fuller was a young man of integrity. Their conversations were both stimulating and enjoyable, and most importantly he was sincere. The genius had no idea what Riley might want from him, if anything, but Farkle was certain that his new friend had only the best of intentions.

Caleb lifted her pile of books from her desk and began to carry them toward the door in spite of her protests. Reluctantly she followed with Farkle trailing behind. As she groped for her belongings he lifted them just beyond her reach. He chuckled as she leapt for her books, forgetting her high heeled boots until one slipped out from under her while returning to the ground. Instinctively his free arm wrapped around her waist to steady her. He stared down into her beautiful face, mere inches away from his own. For that one moment her walls were down.

Riley's heart raced as she dove headfirst into those hazel eyes once more. They were so easy to lose herself in, but she couldn't and wouldn't allow that to happen. Regaining her composure she reached out taking her books from him. With both heels now firmly on the ground he had no choice but to let her go.

"I need those," she declared with a slight swat to his torso before turning to face the boy behind her who was once again marveling at the familiarity and foreignness of the scene before him. "You sure you're still free this evening?" She asked steering the subject toward a reason to exit.

Farkle's eyelids blinked absently a few times before his brain registered that she had asked a question. "Yeah, Smackle has plans with her family today so my schedule is wide open." He confirmed robotically as if he were operating on autopilot.

"Big plans?" The sophomore inquired curiously.

He knew there was nothing romantic going on between the two friends. Farkle had a girlfriend who he was shamelessly smitten with and Riley had yet to show any interest in anyone, but he still found himself jealous. Farkle had something that he desperately wanted; a backstage pass to the inner workings of Miss Riley Mathews. Farkle didn't have to play silly games to get her attention or draw her in. She didn't hide from the genius the way she did the rest of the world. What he wouldn't give to be included on that VIP list!

The freshman shrugged his shoulders in reply. "Not really. We were just gonna head to Topanga's for a study session."

Caleb's eyes shifted as though he were remembering something.

"The bakery?"

Huh. So he was familiar with the bakery? Farkle's wheels began to turn. Try as he might he couldn't remember ever spotting Caleb there and they had spent numerous hours in that establishment.

"You should come with us!," he suggested excitedly. "We all have the same assignment and it could help having one another to bounce ideas off of."

She wanted to argue, but his logic was sound. Short of saying she didn't like him and didn't want him there, it seemed inevitable that he would accompany them. By driving a wedge between Lucas and the others she had accidentally created a vacancy in their circle of friends that everyone seemed determined to fill with the one person she was desperately trying to avoid. She wasn't sure exactly how Caleb had met Zay or when but the two seemed to have bonded over a love of movies and theatre, while Farkle had been enticed by his "intriguing ability to be both intellectual and cool." She didn't even want to think about what had drawn Maya's approval, but he certainly had it as well. And so it seemed the brunette had no choice but to get to know him better.

She hugged her books to her chest as she presented the best fake smile she could possibly muster.

"That sounds great," she chirped in mock approval.

As if the situation with his friends wasn't bad enough, Lucas had a second problem. They were only a month into classes and already his grades were beginning to slip. If he had any hope of one day achieving his dream it would require a lot of hard work and dedication to his education, which meant fewer after school make out sessions and more studying. Maya sat in a nearby chair glancing around the bakery for any form of amusement, but finding nothing capable of holding her attention. She huffed as she tossed her book on the table in boredom. How could he just sit there and read for hours like that? Okay so maybe it hadn't been hours but it sure felt like it.

She tapped her feet against the floor repeatedly before giving in to the restlessness and leaping from her seat. She slowly meandered to position herself behind him and leaned down over the couch, her hands roaming the muscles of his torso.

"Remind me again why we're here doing homework," she purred as her hands began to work their tempting magic, "when we could literally be anywhere else, doing something that's actually fun," her breath hot against his ear.

However, Lucas was not to be sidetracked. He scooted forward in his seat, doing his best to shake off the urges she had deliberately stirred.

"Because our assignment is due tomorrow and I really need to do well on it," he explained, his meadow eyes never leaving his text book.

The blonde rolled her head back with a sigh. In all their time together he had never been so difficult to distract. She made her way over to the front of the couch, plopping down next to him to try again. She leaned in close, pressing her body against his, smiling when she felt him tense in response.

"All work and no play makes Lucas a very dull huckleberry," she teased.

His eyes finally lifted from the page to meet her crystal orbs. She didn't seem to understand that this was important to him. Sure, he could tell her but then he might have to explain why. His gaze shifted to the smoothie sitting on the table. The last time he had tried to share his passion for helping animals with her it had resulted in his hair smelling like fruit for days and one of his favorite shirts being stained beyond salvation. "Fun" as that had been, he wasn't sure he wanted a repeat performance of that conversation.

He wasn't sure why she had agreed to come when she clearly didn't want to be there. Had he gone to the library instead she probably wouldn't have, but he couldn't bring himself to go in there. That place was sacred to the beginning somehow and returning there now, when everything was on the verge of destruction just felt wrong. So there he sat, in Topanga's bakery, with his text book in hand. He hadn't gone there looking for the brunette, whose memory wandered the corridors of his mind. This was where they had always gone. It was simply habit. Nothing more.

Maya slouched back into the couch cushion accepting defeat. Something had shifted her boyfriend into serious mode and there seemed to be no pulling him out of it. She reached for the book she had tossed aside earlier and opened it with every intention of being productive, but she quickly lost interest as per usual. Truthfully this was the last thing she wanted to be doing but they were a couple and couples were supposed to do things they didn't like for the sake of making the other happy. She wanted to be a good girlfriend. She was trying to be, but even when she did what was considered the right thing it felt exactly the same as it had during the triangle; awkward and confusing. The only difference was that they belonged to one another now.

She closed the book, tapping her fingernails on the cover. Her presence didn't seem to be making a difference to Lucas or his work. Would it make her a completely horrible person to ask to leave?

"I can go so that you can focus, she suggested hopefully, "unless you know, you want me to stay?"

Lucas felt a wave of guilt breaking over him. He had been hoping for this and judging by her choice of delivery she had sensed as much. Did she want him to ask her to stay?

He was sitting there pondering a response when the door to the bakery opened and the melody of a familiar voice floated to his ears. Both he and Maya twisted toward the sound.

"On second thought," she mumbled with a Cheshire Cat grin as she caught sight of the brunette and her handsome companions.

* * *

Maya sat in the back of the classroom, the end of her pencil tapping back and forth. True to her word, Ronnie had helped her break through the wall separating herself from her creative voice. However, now that they were on speaking terms again she found it often speaking to her in a language she didn't necessarily understand. But like a dutiful little slave she carried out its orders, grateful to hear it at all. She needed it now more than ever.

The flaxen haired beauty had hoped that with inspiration would come clarity; but that wasn't the case. Although she now dressed the part of her former self and was able to paint again, something felt out of place. She just couldn't seem to put her finger on what it was. Her electric blue eyes lifted to examine the friend sitting diagonal from her. Something was off with him too and had been for a while. At first she had given him space and quiet, believing the issue would either resolve itself or he would lean on her when it became too much, but neither of those things appeared to be happening.

He had been such a great friend to her in the time that they had known one another, and especially the last few months. She didn't know much about his life back in Texas but she did know that he and Lucas had been so close that he'd convinced his parents to move to the city just to reunite the class clown with his favorite huckleberry. Then he had come to their school and become part of their group and he had told Vanessa that nothing, not even her, could tear him away from those people. But someone had. Maya had. He had walked away with her when he had every reason to stay. She knew that was a debt she could never repay, but the least she could do was be there for him when he needed someone too.

The class bell rang and students began to gather their belongings and file for the door. Zay was mechanically going through the motions when she came up behind him; long flowing hair and dazzling smile. For a split second he was reminded of their first conversation; not the day they met, but the first time they really connected. She had been the one to really make him feel welcome within their already established clique. She was now also the one making him feel guilty for returning. After seeing her in the park that day, knowing how she lied to Farkle, what she had said to Lucas, all the ways she had made a mockery of his sacrifice...he just couldn't do it anymore. He had promised her that he would be there for her and he wouldn't go back on that, but if she was going to lump him in with the rest anyway he saw no need to keep distancing himself from them for fear of guilt by association.

"You wanna tell me what's going on with you lately," she inquired with a casual tone but imploring eyes.

At least ten verbal assaults leapt to his mind automatically, but he fought to contain them.

"I don't know what you're talking about." If she could lie, so could he.

Creases formed in the corners of her eyes as they narrowed in on him. "Yes, you do," she insisted as she ran a hand through her cascading waves. "I may not be an expert in all things Babineaux, but I know when something is off. You're quiet-"

A tiny part of him had to admit that he was impressed she had picked up on his change in behavior. It made him feel a little less used.

"I just haven't felt like talking Maya," he interrupted with a shrug, but could see she clearly wasn't buying his story.

He had hoped that once they entered the hallway they would go opposite ways like they were supposed to, but she either had no intention of going to her next class or was in no hurry to get there.

"You always feel like talking," she remarked with a bit of humor in her voice. "And that's another thing, you keep calling me Maya."

His eyes shifted from side to side dramatically like a suspicious victim in a horror film.

"That is your name, isn't it?"

In fact, it was the only thing she would let most people call her. But for whatever reason Isaiah Babineaux was not most people. He had special privileges that he greatly enjoyed taking advantage of.

"Well yeah, but not to you. With you it's always honey and sugar nugget," her lovely feminine features scrunched up in an unladylike manner. That didn't sound right.

Zay felt the beginnings of a chuckle tickle his throat but he swallowed it down. He refused to give her the satisfaction of making him laugh. Instead he hid his slight smirk behind the door of his locker where she couldn't see.

"Actually it's sugar and honey-nugget," he corrected.

She leaned against the neighboring locker.

"Isn't that what I said?"

It wasn't and she knew it but her mind was blank and she needed something to say. It would be so much easier if he would just open up to her. There had to be another way to approach the situation. Suddenly it was as if a lightbulb went off in her brain. There was a way she could help him even if he was less than forthcoming.

"Well, whatever's ailing you, I've got the perfect cure," she declared with equal levels of confidence and sass.

If only it were that simple, he thought to himself as he exchanged the books for his next period. It wasn't as though he wanted to be angry. He hated the feeling of boiling blood and exploding lungs, but each time he came close to her the image flickered through his mind and that monsoon of hurt and betrayal hit him all over again.

"I doubt it," he grumbled as he slammed the locker door closed.

She glanced up at him, her blue eyes twinkling. "Just come by the art room during lunch. It'll be fun," she replied with a playful pat on his arm, "and right now you look like you could lose some," she teased before heading in the opposite direction, quite pleased with herself.

Zay spent the next hour considering her offer. Despite what he had seen, he wanted to believe the best in her. She had noticed that something was bothering him and she appeared to be trying to help. There was no reason for her to feign interest. She had no idea that he and the others had witnessed her alternate persona in the flesh. And so reluctantly he had decided to do as she asked and meet her.

She grinned when she saw him poke his head through the door and gestured with her hand; beckoning him forward. His brown eyes roved over her petite frame. Her hair was twisted up into a knot on top of her head, an oversized denim button down over her graphic t-shirt. Her features went stern in warning so he turned his attention to the surrounding scenery. The room was covered in several famous pieces, as well as what he could only assume was the work of students. There were paintings, sculptures, even a gorgeous mosaic of the Milky Way, and in the center of the room, just in front of them, was the largest white page he'd ever seen.

"Have you ever seen The Princess Diaries," she asked curiously.

This was the same guy that had listed The Notebook as his all time favorite movie on his personal profile, after all.

"If I were to say yes would you tease me about it?"

She smirked her hands lifting palms up. "Have you met me? You know I would."

His mouth formed an upside down double u as he nodded in agreement. At least she was honest about that.

"Then I'm gonna say no. I have never seen that movie," he fibbed.

The blonde let out a hearty laugh as she shook her head and tossed him a button down similar to her own.

"Yeah, and I'll pretend I believe that," she shook her head with a smile before turning her attention ahead. "The concept is pretty self-explanatory. Big empty canvass," her hands formed a frame in the air, "balloons filled with different paint colors and, " she reached down into the bucket of darts sitting next to them, "and darts. Lots of darts. You throw them at the balloons while imagining whoever you're mad at, the paint splatters and voila! You get art and free therapy," she exclaimed excitedly.

Contrary to what he had said moments before, he had seen the movie and had always wanted to try something like this. It did look fun, and as she had so kindly pointed out in the hallway, he could use some of that right now. He turned to face her and felt the familiar internal churning but he forced it back with an impish grin as he slipped his arms into the denim shirt one by one.

"Two for one special, I like it," he declared as reached down into the bucket and selected his first dart.

He focused his attention on a red balloon near the corner, bursting it with ease. Green paint splattered across the canvass but he didn't feel any better. Instead he felt something inside him twist painfully. He reached down for a second one and burst a green balloon filled with yellow paint. It twisted a little harder. He kept throwing darts and breaking balloons, all the while the knot in his gut twisted tighter and tighter until everything began to ache. It hurt to look at her, to remember, to breathe. Still, he kept going.

The blonde peered over at her friend who was tossing darts as though his life depended on it. There was pain; on his face, in his eyes, and as she saw it her heart broke for him.

"You ready to tell me what's wrong now," she ventured.

Zay shook his head as he let another dart fly, this one spilling red.

"Not really," he snarled.

Her blue orbs continued to settle on him sympathetically.

"But you admit there is something?"

More green paint trickled down the canvass as another balloon burst.

"More like someone," he muttered in an agitated manner.

Someone. A person had placed that tortured expression on his face. She didn't know who or how but in that moment she despised them. Zay was a kind and silly goofball who never did anything to anyone. He didn't deserve that kind of pain.

"Uh oh...girl trouble," she asked in a weak attempt to lighten the mood, but Zay was in too deep in the darkness to be pulled out so easily.

Another dart went soaring through the air toward a blue yellow balloon filled with blue paint.

"She's a girl alright," he snapped as he reached into the bucket once more. "And a liar. And a secret keeper. Oh, and now I guess she's a smoker too." The knot twisted tighter.

Her eyes went wide, her mouth falling in recognition. She didn't know how he knew, but he did. Her blood suddenly ran cold. It was her. The girl who had caused him so much undeserved pain was her.

"It's not what you think Zay," she mumbled dejectedly.

It was a feeble defense and one that did nothing to comfort him. He hadn't intended to do this but between his twisting gut and her persistent curiosity his aggression had reached its peak and could not be stifled so easily as before.

"I don't really know what to think Maya," he spat angrily. "I took your side. Lucas is my brother, my best friend and I left him hanging so that you would have someone you could trust and count on. I cut myself off from everyone else I cared about but it was okay because we had each other. But I didn't really have you because you cut me out just like the rest of them!"

And just like that, the knot was gone. Something had finally snapped and he was free. He was still hurt, still disappointed but the burning in his lungs had ceased.

"I didn't-" she tried to explain but he cut her off before she could say anything more.

"I saw you Maya," he barked. "In the park with the redhead. And don't you dare try to tell me I'm wrong cause I know what I saw and I'm not the only one who did."

Maya felt herself shrinking beneath his accusations. They weren't true...exactly. Yes, it might look she had this whole other life that they knew nothing about, but it hadn't started out that way. She hadn't known any of these things were going to happen. They just had somehow.

"It's not what you think," the blonde countered. "I wasn't leading some double life behind your back and I didn't mean to cut you out or seem seem ungrateful."

She gnawed on the corner of her lip as she gathered her courage. Why was it so hard to tell him the truth when what he thought was already worse?

"I didn't tell you about the art program because i was embarrassed. I went from being the best one in the class to the worst and I didn't want anyone to know. That's where I met Ronnie, the girl you saw me with...which is why I didn't tell you about her either. I didn't even know she went here until I found out we had art together and the cigarette? That was the first and only time I've ever done it. I swear," she paused, taking a deep breath to compose herself. "I know what you gave up for me and I wouldn't take it for granted," she closed calmly.

She watched his face, hoping for some kind of sign that he believed her. She hadn't wanted anyone to know that she had failed, that she couldn't create anymore. And then the Sky had fallen down on her head as she realized why she had failed and why she had lost her talent, completely overwhelming her. She could have told him that part too. She probably should have, so why hadn't she?

Zay stood silent; processing her confession. She had gone into the art program hoping for healing and encouragement. Instead they had only torn her down more. He could understand why she had wanted to keep that to herself and it wasn't like she had chosen to confide in anyone else. She hadn't told the redhead about her troubles. The girl had already known because she had been there to witness them. He didn't like that she had tried the cigarette but he could understand her curiosity as well. So she wasn't really a smoker or an ingrate. But she was still a liar.

"You told Farkle you had food poisoning," he reminded.

Never had she felt smaller than she did at that moment. Hurting Zay had been an accident, but lying to Farkle...she had known exactly what she was doing at the time.

"I know, and I hated myself for doing it." She still did.

"Then why did you," he questioned, needing to understand that part as well.

Her hand flew up pushing back the few fly aways framing her face.

"I don't know...I guess for the same reason I didn't tell you about the program or Ronnie. You all think of me a certain way and I just... I don't know if that's who I am anymore. I didn't know how to tell you and I didn't wanna disappoint you. Any of you."

He rubbed the back of his neck tiredly. After weeks of holding everything in, his outburst had left him deflated, as had the guilt that poured over him with her explanation. He claimed to have taken her side, but he hadn't given her the benefit of the doubt. She had noticed what was going on with him in a matter of weeks. He had seen that she was struggling but had jumped to all the wrong conclusions as to why. He should have looked deeper.

"Well, he knows you lied. He was with me that day. So was Lucas," he admitted numbly.

She scoffed with a shake of her head. "Here you are guilting me about Ronnie when you were with Farkle and Lucas," she mumbled sardonically.

Okay, so maybe he deserved that, but he wasn't going to apologize for it; not when they were equally guilty.

"Yes," he conceded, "for the first time in four months I hung out with two of my other friends and do you know what we talked about most of the time?"

She muttered something like "with you three there's no telling," but he ignored her sarcasm and continued.

"You, Maya. We talked about you. How they miss you, how they worry about you. How they want us to all be friends again. Look, I believe you when you say you didn't mean to leave me out, but what about them? How much more of this do you think they can take?"

That was the other reason seeing her that day had hurt so much. Until that moment it had seemed that she was on her way back; that things were getting better. He understood why she had originally needed the space but months had passed and she just kept prolonging everyone's misery, including her own.

"I'm not trying to hurt them Zay. I'm just trying to figure out who I am now."

His features contorted in a mask of shock and confusion.

"And you think the best way to do that is to go off with a bunch of strangers and avoid the people who actually know you best," he challenged.

Of course, he would judge Ronnie without even knowing her. He had taken one look at her and decided that she was unworthy, but she and Ronnie weren't so different. Like their mothers before them, they were the unfavored children of the universe.

"Ronnie does know me. In a way none of you do," she let out a heavy sigh. "You try. You empathize and I appreciate that but she doesn't have to put herself in my shoes because she's already in them. She can't just step out of them whenever she wants because they're hers too. And she's helping me so much with my art and finding my own voice."

It was a bond that she had never shared with anyone before and she needed it, especially now. She felt so disconnected; from herself, from the life she had before.

His brown eyes fell to the floor. He didn't know this person but he did know Maya and it was obvious that she had made up her mind. Ronnie was now a part of her life and if he wished to remain so then he would have to accept that. He lifted his gaze to meet hers.

"I'm glad you found someone you relate to and that she's helping you but I'm also worried about the path you're going down and where it might lead you. We all are. Especially Riley."

Her expression shifted from defiance to shock as she felt all the air leave her lungs.

"Riley knows about this?"

Then why wasn't she here?

"Yeah, Lucas told her," he confirmed her worst fear.

Trying that cigarette had felt simple, natural...but the idea of Riley knowing about it? That just made her feel sick.

"Of course he did," she grumbled.

Sometimes she really wished Lucas Friar had just stayed in Texas.

"Just be careful," he warned. "There's a line Honeynugget. And once you cross it, you might not be able to get back."

Farkle locked himself in a closet and Riley hunted him down. Maya stormed off in Texas and the brunette came after her...eventually. That's who she was, or who she had been. Was it possible that she had given up on Maya? No. this was the girl that still believed in Pluto. Then again, Pluto had never given her reason to doubt. The blonde couldn't say the same of herself. She had been distant and distracted but she had never imagined that she wouldn't have a home to come back to once she found herself again.

She peered up at him one last time, taking a dart in hand.

"I really am sorry Zay."

He grinned as he reached into the bucket. "I know," he replied releasing the dart into the air and missing his target. "You know, these things are a lot harder to hit when you aren't picturing someone's face on them," he teased, making her smile.

Still, her troubled mind couldn't stop revolving around two facts; Riley knew and she hadn't come.

Lucas reluctantly released his girlfriend's hand as they approached her apartment door. Over the last four months they had become increasingly more comfortable with public displays of affection but Mr. Mathews had yet to acclimate to their new situation. Once the entered the door way she turned back to glance up at him with those big brown eyes that made his heart skip a beat.

"Thank you Lucas for walking me home," she enunciated a little louder than was necessary, causing him to smile and her mother to laugh.

"You're dad isn't here. You can drop the act today," she announced from the kitchen table.

Mr. Mathews had presented them with his list of rules the week they began dating. According to Riley's father, Lucas was no longer allowed in his daughter's bedroom, or alone with her in general for that matter. There would be no hugs or kisses goodbye; only handshakes. And under no circumstances was he allowed to loan Riley clothing of any kind...especially his blue jean jacket. There was also something about remaining vertical at all times and being force fed every shoe in the bucket should he hurt her in any way. Fortunately, Mrs. Mathews was a little more accepting of their relationship. Whenever she was home Lucas was allowed in his girlfriend's room as long as the door remained open. They could hold hands and kiss despite her husband's protests, and he would not be penalized for doing the gentlemanly thing when Riley was in need of a protective layer.

Riley turned to toward the blonde with a cheerful smile as she extended her hand, which he happily took. Topanga watched with a conflicted heart as her little girl led her not so little boyfriend up the stairs of their home. It was difficult accepting that she was growing up and allowing it to happen, but she knew fighting the process would change nothing, except maybe her relationship with her daughter. She remembered what it had been like to be Riley's age, to feel everything for the first time. The world had changed. The generation was different but she genuinely believed that they had raised their child with integrity and intelligence that would help her make the right choices, even when it was hard to do.

Once they were no longer visible Lucas pulled her into his arms, positioning them against the wall. Ever since their altercation in her room this had become one of his new favorite pastimes; kissing her against the wall. As he caught her off guard she let out a playful giggle before he captured her lips with his own. She smiled into the kiss as her hands lifted to touch his face and tangle their fingers in the hair on the nape of his neck. His arm snaked around her waist, pulling her closer. He had always longed to have her next to him, but lately it was as though he couldn't get her close enough. After a short rhythmic dance of tangled limbs and greedy kisses they both pulled back seeking air.

"I think I just figured out why couples like to fight so much," he teased with a lazy smirk that made her stomach roll over.

Her soft brown orbs clouded in confusion. "Why's that," she asked curiously as her head tilted to the side.

He chuckled as he brushed a strand of hair back from her face, spiraling it around his finger. "You have to admit it's...different...when we fight."

She felt her cheeks begin to burn as a bright pink covered them. There was no denying that. Kissing when they were fighting was a lot like kissing Lucas when he was "needy," except when that had happened she had "needed" to kiss him just as badly. What that meant she didn't know, but it was a little overwhelming to think about so she tried not to dwell on it. Sensing her discomfort, he decided that it was time to shift gears. Yes, he could stand there and kiss her all day as long as she would allow him, but it wasn't a mandatory activity. They could sit silently holding hands watching cuddle bunnies or talk about anything and he found those hours spent just as enjoyable.

In an attempt to lighten the mood he began tickling her, provoking her girlish giggle once more. She squirmed under his feathery touch. He was bigger and stronger and so there was only way to save herself. To run. She ran and Lucas chased after her; both laughing their way up the rest of the stairs. Her mind was on plotting her next move as she opened her door; all thoughts of escape instantly forgotten. She stood staggered in the doorway as Lucas came up behind her equally shocked by the sight before them.

Maya Hart stood self-consciously in the center of the room, one arm crossed over her body holding the other and her blue eyes glued to the floor. She wasn't sure that she was ready to be here or that she deserved to be. She wasn't even sure if Riley would want to see her after everything that had been said and done. She didn't know who she was anymore or what her place was in this world but the one thing she knew for certain was that she couldn't imagine the rest of her life without the sweet, weird, little goofball who had been her best friend for so long.

Riley's mind raced as every thought and instinct centered around the girl in the middle of her room. She had wished for this moment so many times. She had laid awake at night counting down the days and reliving every memory to keep their connection alive. And now here she was, standing in her room. Did this mean that she was finally ready to be friends again?

After what seemed an eternity the blonde glanced upward to meet the chocolate gaze of her sister long lost.

"I was passing by and I saw that the window was open," she mumbled pointing toward the bay window that had started it all. "I hope it's okay that I'm here."

Okay? Okay! It was wonderful! It was a dream come true. She didn't know why today or how. Honestly she didn't care. Riley was just happy to have her best friend back.

"Peaches," she exclaimed, her tone revealing the depth of her devotion to her friend.

Maya's expression illuminated with that one word. Her blue eyes brimming with tears of joy as she replied.

"Honey," her voice breaking as she spoke.

Both girls took off running into each other's arms all smiles and tears while Lucas stood back watching from the sidelines. Three months ago nothing would have made him happier than to see their reunion. Yet as he stood there witnessing the heartwarming moment between them he couldn't shake the feeling that something was still very wrong.


	17. 16- Difference of Opinion

**A/N: It took a little longer than expected but here is the newest chapter of Split Screen. I apologize for the delay and thank you again for all the love and support you all have given each of my stories. Seriously, you guys are amazing and I'm so grateful for every follow, fave, and review you take the time to share with me. There's a lot of interesting developments coming up that will hopefully shed some light on a few things.**

Riley felt her heart drop to her stomach as she opened the door to her mother's bakery and found herself confronted by those shining green eyes. His gaze instantly locked with hers and every molecule of her being screamed to run and hide. It was bad enough that she had been forced into spending yet another afternoon with the boy who inspired her thoughts to take up yoga, tangling themselves up like a pretzel, but now she would have to share the room with the one who had made her question everything to begin with. It seemed wrong that he should be there to see her with Caleb, and that Caleb should be there at all in a place that held so much history for the two of them. And yet there they all were, in Topanga's bakery, in the same circle of friends. This would be only the tip of the iceberg that might follow.

Her lips curled into a self-conscious smile. She felt incredibly off kilter as she made her way forward, her brown eyes shifting to the all too pleased expression on her best friend's face. She wasn't sure if it was Caleb himself or his accompaniment of her, which made the blonde so giddy, but neither would bode well. That much she was sure of.

Farkle stepped in behind her, his eyes instantly landing on the couple. For months they had been virtually invisible outside of school or organized meeting, though they had spent the entire summer in the same city this was his first accidental run in with the pair, and of course it had to be on this day, in this place, with this audience. His head turned to examine the brunette. Had she given him any sign of distress he would have gladly chosen another location but as she met his concern filled eyes he saw only resolve.

They had passed one another in the halls and sat with one another at lunch, but the group was still fractured at best. He could practically hear Riley's inner monologue, talking herself through the experience. He could also see Maya's wheels beginning to spin and that agitated him greatly. He still loved her. He had since he was six years old and that doesn't just disappear, but things that had never bothered him before were becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. The one prickling him at present being her ability to dismiss even the greatest emotional upset with ease. He supposed it came from years of listening to her parents fight, or her mother cry, perhaps from fighting back her own tears and screams. However, she had come by it, she had already moved on from the damage while the rest of them were still bruised and aching, and though he didn't want her to share in that pain, it seemed unfair that she felt so little when they felt too much.

Lucas's gaze shifted from the depths of her chocolate eyes to the image of Caleb stepping in behind Farkle. The Texan felt himself internally groan. Of course he was there, he was always lurking around the radiant brunette with starry eyes and that smug half grin that his fist wished to wash from the sophomore's face. If Caleb could sense this animosity he made no acknowledgement of it. He entered the room, as always, with a charming smile and his easy going nature.

"Oh, hey guys," he greeted with a small wave of his hand, "I didn't realize you'd be here too."

Riley felt her stomach roll over, a wave a nausea sweeping over her.

"Neither did we," the younger boy muttered forcing a smile in their direction.

Maya threw her hands up in the air, palms to the sky, as if to say 'oh well,' but the pleased expression on her face was screaming something far less noncommittal.

"Well coincidences are the universe's way of saying hi," she reminded brightly, "maybe it's trying to tell you something?"

Her eyebrow kinked upward for emphasis.

Riley suddenly had the image of God's angels sitting in a large white room, gathered round a flat screen, making snide comments and taking bets while this exact moment in time was displayed for their amusement. Yes, someone, somewhere, was getting a very sick laugh at her expense. Of that much she was sure.

She made a small muffled sound, like a sarcastic chuckle that had died in her throat.

"Maybe," was all she said.

Farkle stood back stoic and silent, taking it all in. He remembered those words and when they were spoken. Ironically, Maya had chosen the very words that had splintered their friendship for the first time to use against Riley. The only question was why. On one hand, it wasn't uncommon for the blonde to tease and nudge her friends in the direction she thought was best. It was very possible that she was simply doing what she had always done; pushing Riley toward Caleb. On the other hand, she had made no secret of her own attraction to the sophomore, even in her boyfriend's presence, any more than Smackle had of her attraction to Lucas in his own. Begrudgingly, he found himself empathizing with the boy he resented so strongly. Did it hurt Lucas as much as it hurt him, to be loved in spite of all he was instead of for it?

Lucas felt someone's gaze on him and knew it wasn't Riley's. To his surprise he looked up to see Farkle's eyes on him, filled with something that resembled pity, but that wasn't possible. Farkle hated him and had good reason to do so. Unless…Farkle was a genius. Perhaps he could see how lost Lucas had become, how much this estrangement was killing him. He didn't want to be awkwardly standing there next to Maya, watching her push Riley onto Caleb, ignoring the way the brunette bristled in response. He hadn't wanted any of this. Regardless of what he had wanted, this was where they were, and he had no choice but to make the most of it.

"Here, let me move my stuff over," he offered as he fumbled with his books, but Farkle was quick to intervene.

It was his fault that any of them were in this position. He was the one that had invited both Riley and Caleb not realizing Lucas and Maya would also be there.

"Actually, I was thinking maybe we should get a separate table," though his tone indicated this was more of a demand than a suggestion, much to Maya's dismay.

"Why," she refuted indignantly. "We always sit together."

Farkle felt like screaming. Maya was supposed to be Riley's best friend, her sister. Could she honestly not see how uncomfortable their friend was at that moment, how much this was hurting her? Instead he swallowed the words and they burned on their way back down. Reason was a much more useful tool than anger.

"Well, because you are working on science," he observed, "and we are reading William Shakespeare. Different subjects might prove counterproductive to the studying process."

There was a small balloon of hope forming in Riley's chest as Farkle's suggestion hung in the air. It was obvious that the blonde wanted to object, had tried to, but the words wouldn't come. There was no sound argument to combat his brilliant deduction. It would still be awkward, all of them in the same room, but maybe the distance would relieve some of the pressure and allow her to focus on her work.

But Maya was not so easily deterred. Rather than graciously accepting defeat and moving on she turned her sparkling blue eyes to the handsome sophomore.

"Romeo and Juliet, right?" She asked as though she hadn't already known. She didn't wait for confirmation. She didn't need to. "Well then Caleb have no fear, you've got the perfect partner," she said shifting her focus briefly toward the girl standing in front of him. "Riles has read it at least a hundred times by now."

His hazel gaze ticked down to the brunette who was now shuffling her weight between her feet, almost as if she were embarrassed. He thought about reaching out to her, but wasn't sure they were close enough that she would find comfort in the gesture. There was only one way he could think to make her feel better and that was not to react as though her secret affected him, though truthfully it had.

He shrugged off the information as if it were nothing.

"It's not my first read either," he confessed, Riley's dark brown eyes jumping up to greet his.

She had guessed as much when he had argued so passionately with her in class. He had been defending something precious to him, she had thought...but there was something about hearing it that seemed far more intimate than coming to the realization on her own. She had the strange impulse to thank him and she wasn't even sure what for.

Maya's smile grew as she caught the glance between them. His response had only spurred her cause further.

"Hmm, isn't that interesting," she remarked as though she had just made some great discovery.

Farkle took a step forward, a warning in his tone.

"Maya-"

He had been so angry with Lucas for coming between the two girls, but now he wanted to separate them, for Riley's protection, and to protect Maya from herself. He couldn't imagine that she was trying to be hurtful or insensitive. Her intentions had always been honorable even if her methods weren't, but everything had changed between them and he wasn't sure how much more any of them could take. Especially Riley, who had taken the hardest hits.

"What?" She challenged, "I'm just saying that it's an interesting coincidence," her inflection of the last word suggested she perceived it as more of a sign than a random similarity.

Lucas seemed far less pleased with this information as he reached subconsciously for the back of his neck. He had never known of her habitual reading of the play, but it hadn't come as a shock to him. She was one of the most intelligent people in their class and saw the world through a romanticized lens that would endear that particular story to her. Knowing this was something she and this Caleb guy apparently shared impacted him more than he ever would have expected. This stranger knowing things about Riley that he hadn't just felt...wrong...somehow. So did the idea of sending her off alone with him. He surveyed the room for the closest open table but a couple had just taken the last one.

"I know you guys wanted your own table, but it looks like the last one was just filled so..." he trailed off uncertain what he was feeling or what he should be.

And just like that the balloon was pricked and the image of one of the angels demanding the rest make good on their bets against her sprung up filling the blank spaces of her mind.

"We could just go to the library instead," Farkle stated, offering Riley one last out.

Her brown eyes grew wide with horror, panic stricken. To anyone else the library was probably just a quiet place to study, but for her it was something different entirely. It was the place she and Lucas had first opened up to one another; the place where he had shared his memories of the past and his dreams for the future with her. She hadn't been there in months, not since she had first felt him slipping away, and the thought of going there now with another boy, especially one that she couldn't trust her own judgement around, lined her stomach with lead.

"No!" She shouted a little louder than she had meant to, surprised to find she was not alone in her objections.

Her head snapped in Lucas's direction along with everyone else in the group. He too had experienced the same knee-jerk reaction to Farkle's suggestion and voiced his opinion on the matter. They both glanced down toward the floor, the implication of their outbursts too obvious for either to bear.

Anxiously she tucked a strand of hair back behind her ear.

"We can just sit here," she said making a sweeping motion with her hand, "really, its fine." Her gaze travelled between Mays's satisfactory grin and Lucas's less enthusiastic expression. "Unless the two of you want to be alone," she ventured hesitantly.

Blue eyes met green as they turned to one another. Secretly they had both been grateful the last table had been taken.

"No," they both insisted a little too eagerly.

Farkle brushed his hair from one side of his face to the other anxiously. Though he loved each of his friends dearly, he couldn't help but feel as though he were in the chem lab playing with volatile chemicals and no protective gear. He attempted to position himself between the two potential pairings, however the scheming blonde appeared to have other plans. She nudged Lucas over toward the chair closest to the door so she might slide into his former seat; forcing the pair next to her on the couch and the genius to the seat opposite her boyfriend. Perhaps the universe was trying to teach him something about what happens when you meddle in the affairs of others.

Maya had learned from their previous argument. Had anyone dared to question the seating arrangement, she would have used their own words against them. Much as they might hate to admit it, logic was entirely on her side. The three couldn't very well have studied their precious play with one of them on the other side of the table and her and Lucas working on science in between on the couch. No, this was the best solution for everyone. The fact that it also allowed her to influence the connection between the hunky sophomore and her best friend was merely a happy accident.

"Now where did we leave off," Farkle asked, as he flitted through the pages of his copy.

Lucas thumbed through the pages of his text book, but his glance kept lifting to watch the brunette combing through her copy of Romeo and Juliet, knowing his girlfriend was doing the same for a much different reason. Her agenda was transparent at best.

Riley opened her book to the appropriate section and leaned forward, desperate to put any amount of distance between herself and her classmate possible.

"Uh, yeah. They just snuck off to get married behind everyone's back and now her cousin is picking a fight with Romeo," she reminded, her tone less than impressed.

Caleb leaned in, closing the space between them.

"You know some people might think an elopement was romantic," he teased while Riley fought the urge to roll her eyes.

"And some would think two teenagers getting married after one conversation is insane," she countered without missing a beat, though she wore the whisper of a smile on her lips.

Did she enjoy this back and forth with him, Lucas wondered. They had spent countless hours talking about many things in the last two years and in all that time he had never seen her enjoy disagreeing with someone. She was capable of cutting others down to size. He had learned that when Zay had first arrived in the city and she had learned of his past transgressions. But it was the fact that she could and chose not to that had always impressed him. Even when she has lashed out, it had never been with the intention to wound or humiliate. Had she lost that somewhere along the way? He hoped not. It was a rare and beautiful quality; one the world needed more of as far as he was concerned.

"I hate to be technical-" Farkle interjected but was quickly cut off by the blonde on the other side of the sofa.

"No you don't," she rebutted with a raised brow.

He shot her a pointed glare before turning his focus back to the others.

"But it was actually their second conversation if you include the prelude to the first kiss," he continued.

The brunette shook her head, and Caleb caught the faint fruit scent lingering from her shampoo.

"That wasn't a conversation. It was verbal foreplay!" She exclaimed as heads snapped and eyes rounded at her statement.

Maya had just placed the straw to her lips when the words were spoken and the thought of Riley Mathews, the girl who had been so innocent she had bordered on naive, making a sexual reference was enough to send strawberry banana smoothie flying as she nearly choked on the beverage. She coughed and sputtered until the tickle in her throat had subsided and she could breathe again.

The brunette shrugged off the shocked stares and questioning facial expressions.

"What? It was," she declared nonchalantly.

An awkward silence ascended over the friends as they tried to make sense of what had just happened. Caleb wasn't affected, but he was also a year older, and hadn't known Riley before. He had no way of knowing how uncharacteristic this was of her, though if he couldn't after their reactions, the genius may have given him too much credit intellectually. The important thing was to get the session back on track and over with as soon as possible.

"Okay, so Tybalt says to Romeo you're a villain and I hate you," he paraphrased, redirecting the conversation.

To which Caleb readily chimed in, "And Romeo tries to turn the other cheek because Tybalt is Juliet's cousin," he turned toward the brunette next to him; his hazel eyes gleaming. "How can you read that and question his love for her?"

There had once been a time when she hadn't thought to. Honestly she wished she still hadn't, but time and experience had a way of changing the way you saw the world and the people in it. What had originally appealed to her senses as a beautiful testament of love and sacrifice now seemed a simple recipe for heartache, and she'd already had her fill of that.

"Because he barely knows her," she explained; her words slow and deliberate as she avoiding his glowing gaze.

He cocked his head to the side, his eyes demanding hers.

"Come on," he challenged, "you're telling me you've never met someone and felt a connection right away?"

There was a shift behind those mahogany irises and he knew that he had struck a chord somewhere deep within. She had experienced that instantaneous bond for no conceivable reason. As had he.

Lucas had been doing his best to ignore their tit for tat, but that question had sliced through his every thought and distraction. Cautiously he glanced up at the dark haired beauty, gauging her response. Her lips were slightly parted, as though she wanted to speak but couldn't find the words. Was she thinking about the day they had first met? Was she silently reliving it all, as he sometimes did?

"I..." she paused clearly flustered.

She had been ready to deny or argue any statement he had presented, but his question had thrown her. She couldn't honestly say that phenomenon didn't exist when she had lived it first-hand. Her chocolate orbs flickered over to the blonde staring intently at his science book. He was concentrating so hard that his handsome features were wrinkled. She had always admired that determined expression. Did Maya appreciate it? Did she even notice?

Her gaze sidestepped to the blonde on the couch, whose eyes appeared fixed on either herself or the boy next to her, Riley couldn't tell for certain.

"Feelings can be misleading," she replied flatly.

Only four words had ever cut him deeper.

'You're my brother, Lucas.'

He couldn't deny the truth of her words though. Never, in a million years, would he have believed that what he had felt that day on the subway would lead him to this conversation. At first glance, Riley had seemed the far more significant introduction; a sign from the universe, and she had seemed to believe the same, want him the same.

Caleb, on the other hand, was baffled by her argument.

"The guy went from being right in the thick of the feud to trying to keep the peace. Because of her. She made him a better person, what's misleading about that?"

"The part where it didn't last," she mumbled, no longer sure if she was referring to Romeo and Juliet or someone a little closer to home.

Maya, who up til this point had been watching with amusement, was now captivated by the sight before her. In her fourteen years of existence she had seen every form of romantic quarrelling imaginable, at least she assumed she had. As a small child she had grown up on the sound of raised voices and slamming doors. She had watched Cory Mathews provoke his wife and then cower at her fury on several occasions. Together she and Riley had observed countless debates between Farkle and Smackle, which seemed the most civil and passionless form of communication known to man. Even her relationship with Lucas held its share of disputes, which served more as…what had the brunette called it? Verbal foreplay.

She had chosen Caleb Fuller, assuming he was the equivalent of Riley's Lucas, but watching them now, she saw something in them; something different that she couldn't quite put her finger on. This outsider was doing something no one else had been able to do. He reached her.

Caleb shifted in his seat, turning toward the brunette, who his world had now closed in around. Farkle, Maya. Lucas, the strangers drifting in and out of the bakery all ceased to exist as his focus zeroed in on those deep brown depths and the secrets hidden within. He could see it now, buried just beneath the surface; her faith broken like a pie crust promise.

"You can see it in the way they look at one another. From the moment they meet-" he had struck another chord, a sour one he surmised, as her eyes went dark.

"Yeah, but that's based on interpretation. Shakespeare never actually describes how they look at one another,' she retorted, all traces of doubt now banished.

The blonde was so entranced she had nearly scooted off the seat of the couch. It had been fleeting but it was there. She was sure of it. Lucas had seen it too, though he'd tried not to. For just a second she had been his Riley again, only never truly his.

"They do this often," she asked the genius who nodded his head reluctantly.

The last thing he wanted to do was fuel her interest in the pair, but he wouldn't lie to her.

"They have two modes," he conceded, "This, and silence."

She had once told him that friends talked. Boyfriends and girlfriends fought and made up. Based on that warped sense of logic Riley and Caleb probably appeared perfect for one another. Like her, he had grown up with parents who could barely be in the same room together without some kind of altercation occurring, but he had never aspired to such a relationship. He couldn't imagine why anyone would. But then…hadn't he come to the same conclusion about Riley and Caleb, even if it was by different reasoning?

"He's right you know," Caleb replied as he wiggled his pen between his fingers, "We can't keep having this argument the rest of the year, and I can only think of one way to solve this problem."

She peered at him with a mixture of surprise and humor.

"You admit that I'm right," she suggested causing him and their surrounding audience to chuckle.

All except Lucas appeared downright angry with his homework as his jaw clenched tightly.

"Or," he greatly emphasized the word, "we do some research and make an educated decision. We watch the movies, 68 and 96, then we read the play, all together, and come to an official conclusion, laying our debate to rest peacefully." He gently nudged her shoulder.

"What do ya say? You in?"

All eyes were once again on Riley, who was struggling to make sense of his proposal. Hadn't she said and done everything she possibly could to discourage any type of connection to this person? She had, but the little devil on her shoulder who occasionally charged forward before she could catch up hadn't.

"So your solution to our difference of opinion is to ask me out," she clarified, her tone clearly skeptical.

She had to have misunderstood.

He had known exactly what he was implicating, but hadn't expected her to call him out on it right there in the middle of the bakery. Not that he was embarrassed or ashamed. He'd gladly admit his intent had he not feared it would send her screaming in the opposite direction. Her response alone proved she wasn't ready to lay down the pretense of their playful banter and speak truthfully. When she was he would happily bare all, but for now he would continue to play their little game if that was what pleased her.

"Who said anything about asking you out," he asked with a devilish smirk.

Knowing Riley, she would change the subject or shut it down. Caleb had created an opportunity and Maya was not about to miss it.

"Pretty sure you just did," the blonde said, slapping her hand down on his shoulder.

Lucas's ears perked at his girlfriend's commentary; not because Caleb had just asked her out in front of God and everyone in Topanga's bakery. No, that was none of his business or concern. Riley was free to go out with anyone she saw fit and if she wanted to be with the guy, he would bite his tongue until it bled and endure the consequences of his choice until he managed to fall out of whatever he was currently in with her. However, judging by the brunette's lack of enthusiasm and blatant squirming, that wasn't what she wanted at all.

He shouldn't say anything. He knew this, but as he watched her wilting; making herself as small and unnoticeable as possible, his blood began to boil and his pulse pounded in his ears. His green eyes cut to the blonde next to him. He understood that she wanted forgiveness and redemption, so did he, but this was not the way to go about it. Did she honestly think forcing Riley into a relationship would make her forget all they had done? Even if it would, he couldn't allow it. Riley had been through enough already, and too much of it by his own hand.

"I don't really think this is a group decision Maya," he spoke as evenly and unaffected as he could, though there remained a protective edge to his tone.

Caleb shrugged the comments off as though neither had spoken, his gaze still frozen on the object of his interest.

"I'm just talking about two classmates doing research together," he replied scribbling something down in an empty corner of his notebook, "and if by the end of the evening you've fallen head over heels in love with me then that'll be fine too."

He tore the corner of the page and placed the note in her delicate hand. As his fingertips brushed the edges of her own everything inside her body began screaming. Her mind raced, her stomach rolled, something swirled against her will. Her brain was flooded with several impulses, white noise that it couldn't interpret fast enough to form a response.

She was in the process of sorting through the static when her best friend overstepped yet again.

"And all you gotta do is check yes Juliet," she teased as she plucked Caleb's pen from his hand and scribbled something down in his notebook...Riley's phone number.

This stirred a whole new set of emotions in the brunette; this brand far less indecisive. Her head shook from side to side as she chuckled humorlessly.

"Have you ever even read the play," she shouted, her brown eyes burning like embers. They DIE at the end," she exclaimed slamming her book shut, the note slapped between the pages. "Know why," she continued vehemently, Because they were STAR-CROSSED lovers!"

She frantically began gathering her belongings as she rose from her seat, staring the blonde down, clearly still not finished.

"Which means even if by some miracle love at first sight did exist and they did manage to stumble into it together, they still could never be happy because the entire universe is conspiring against them, which is the exact opposite of your incessant need to throw me at whoever you see fit whenever it suits you!"

Having spoken her peace, she stormed out the bakery door while her friends sat in stunned silence. It took only a moment for them to recover, but by then she had already disappeared. The blonde blinked rapidly before jumping up to follow, only to find her boyfriend's fingers wrapped around her wrist.

"What do you think you're doing," he growled as she fought to free herself.

"What do you think," she snickered, "I'm going after her."

While the couple stood in their gridlock, Farkle quietly collected his possessions, waved to his friend, and silently slipped out without their notice. By the time they remembered the goal Riley would have been alone too long. Besides, neither of them knew where to search.

"I think you've done enough," Lucas snapped, releasing her from his grasp and reaching down to pick up his book and sling the strap of his bag around his shoulders. With that, he too, was nearing the exit.

"Where do you think you're going," she countered as she followed him out the door, but he didn't answer. He had neither the time nor the inclination to fight with her.

"I'm not done with you," she declared from behind, daring him to walk away and risk her fury.

To her surprise he turned on heels, facing her with no remorse or fear in eyes. His jaw clenched and his expression almost menacing.

"That's too bad, Maya, cause I'm about done with you, and from the looks of things so is your best friend."

Her lips parted and her blue eyes grew wide. For just a moment he wanted to take it back, just to wash the pain from her face. All he had to do was kiss her and he could get lost in the fire that fueled them, burn away his own pain, but that was taking the easy way out. It was enabling Maya in her mission. It was being less than the person he had promised Riley he was. And so he fought the urge, and instead turned away, leaving his girlfriend alone with the harsh reality they had created.

As soon as Riley had managed to slip into the crowd surrounding her mother's bakery alone, she realized her mistake. Though she had been known to have a flair for the dramatics, she had never been prone to fits of temper. Having so little experience with the art of storming out, it hadn't occurred to her until she'd already done so that she hadn't anywhere to go. Usually when she was upset she would race to the sanctuary of her bay window, but the idea of running to her bedroom left her feeling childish and empty. Besides, that was the first place Maya would look, were she to follow, and that was a big if, given the blonde's record for apologies as of late. She had yet to even try to make things right with Farkle. What made her think she would be any different?

And then there was Farkle. She only had one other hiding place, and the genius knew it. Maya might not seek her out after her little outburst, but he certainly would. Knowing him, he was probably already on route to the pet store. While she appreciated his concern and loyalty, she just couldn't bring herself to meet him there.

She needed somewhere she could sort through the jumbled mess inside. So much had happened, in what seemed such a short amount of time. Caleb hadn't known their history. He most likely had no idea what he was doing to her back in that room. With one question he had dragged her all the way back to the beginning, to the moment of collision, and everything that had come to pass since. There had been so many things said and done, for good intent, that had whittled away the integrity of their connection.

Her feet shuffled forward as she contemplated their choices and relived their mistakes. She may not know where she was going, but they seemed to. Asking where it had begun was as pointless as asking which came first the chicken or the egg. It didn't really matter who had kept the first secret, told the first lie; in the end they had all become liars and secret keepers. They had all taken a sledgehammer to what they had shared. The how and why was irrelevant now that the damage had been done.

The roof offered very little in terms of distraction, but what it lacked in amusement it more than made up for in privacy. No one would think to look for her there. Her eyes ticked over toward the bench on her right. It was only an object, an ordinary item that had been on the roof for as long as she had lived in that building…perhaps even longer. Yet the warm autumn air began to chill around her as she was transported back in time to a cold December night and the midnight confession that had changed everything.

The same feet that had led her to the rooftop were now leading her toward the familiar bench and the very seat she had occupied that night. Logically she knew that day had long since passed, yet she could swear she felt a presence and a certain emerald green gaze upon her. Maybe the bench was haunted by the ghosts of their eighth grade selves, she pondered, glancing toward the door. It was only then she realized her mind had not been playing tricks on her and that she truly was no longer alone.

The blonde stood frozen in the doorway, gaping at the brunette on the bench as though she were a mirage in the desert. He wasn't sure what had lured him to the Mathews' building. All he had known was that he couldn't stand there fighting with Maya for a second longer, and he couldn't go home. He was tired of the constant back and forth; between him and his girlfriend, but more significantly with himself. He knew there had to be a reason everything happened the way it had, and that eventually it would all be worth it, but currently everything just left him frustrated and conflicted and he hated it.

He'd been searching for clarity, and stumbled upon her instead. That had to mean something too, didn't it? Why else would she run there of all places? To the last place he had been truly hopeful. When Farkle had revealed her true feelings it had been one of the greatest and worst moments of his life. Despite what she had said in Texas, he still held a place in her heart. He could have leapt off the roof and flown with joy…until he remembered the beautiful girl standing next to him and that Riley had deliberately pushed him away for a reason.

She sat with her fingers curled around the edge of the bench, afraid to move or breathe. No one was supposed to find her there, least of all him. It was unsettling the way he stood and stared at her as though she were the answer to some unspoken question- too much like before. It was almost as if…no, she wouldn't let herself finish that thought. That was just the ghost of her former self talking.

The memory nipped at her like a cold winter's wind, prompting her to release the bench and cling to her limbs instead.

"I don't know how you knew where to find me-" she began, somewhat distractedly.

His gaze morphed from wonder to incredulity as he took a step forward.

"I didn't," he admitted with a sigh. "I was just…"

He thought about what had brought him to the rooftop. He couldn't tell her what he had said to Maya. Even if he could, he doubted she would want to hear it. He hadn't wanted to sit and listen to Charlie Gardner go on about all the little quirks that made her special all night, nor did he particularly enjoy observing her little disagreements with their new friend Caleb. He couldn't come whining to her about the complexities of his choice. That would be selfish.

"walking around and somehow I ended up here," he vaguely explained.

'There's no such thing as a coincidence,' Maya's reminder from earlier that day rang out in her mind, but she shoved the thought back into the darkness.

They had barely spoken since the day he had crawled up her fire escape with a bundle of excuses. None of which she'd had any interest in hearing. She could see that she had injured him with her words, but she'd only spoken the truth, and she refused to feel guilty for that. Desperate for a line of self-defense, she attempted to summon up the anger and disappointment she had expressed that day, but of course it wouldn't come. Too much time had passed and he appeared so lost, all she could truly muster was sympathy.

"I'm still mad at you," she fibbed, sucking in a quick shallow breath to help with the illusion.

Her declaration hadn't come as any surprise. In fact, he had well earned her contempt; a fact he was painfully aware of. He buried his hands in his pockets, his every feature oozing shame.

"That's okay," he replied with a shrug of his shoulders. "You were right," he cautiously stepped forward, "I haven't been a very good person lately...or a very good friend."

Riley wasn't sure what she had expected from him, but it hadn't been a heartfelt confession or apology. Explanations, reasons that weren't really reasons, those she had been prepared for. Maybe it hadn't all been in her head after all, she thought. Perhaps he too had been inhabited by the ghost of who he used to be. There was just something about this place. The truth always came to light here.

Encouraged by her silence he continued, "I want to better, I'm trying to be...I just need someone to give me the chance to prove it."

Her eyes grew soft and the corners of her mouth lifted into the ghost of a smile. Gingerly she gestured toward the empty space next to her, inviting him to join her if he liked. Lucas nodded, closing the space between them and taking the seat next to her. She sat silently staring ahead while he watched her from the corner of his eye. The position was eerily familiar. Only this time Maya wasn't sitting on the other side of him, also waiting for an explanation or a sign from the brunette. They were alone.

Were he and Maya even still together? He had told her that he was almost done with her, but almost done wasn't the same as actually done, was it?

"You wanna talk about it," he probed gently.

The brunette leaned forward, her fingers twisting in her lap, still peering out into the nothing ahead.

"Not much to talk about," she mumbled with a sigh.

She had been telling herself for weeks, months even, that she had no idea what was going on with her, but that wasn't entirely true. As hard as she had tried to become someone else there was a singular trait of her previous self that had survived her transformation. The one trait she had worked hardest to kill had survived her efforts and was now threatening to topple all her best laid plans.

He sat next to her watching, waiting, wondering what he could say, if anything, to make things better for her. He wanted to.

Suddenly she bolted upright, pacing the empty rooftop.

"It's just so..." she searched for the right word as her hands strangled the air, "frustrating," she howled; her cocoa brown eyes mirroring the turmoil he had been running from not even an hour before.

"Which part," he asked curiously, "Caleb always trying to change your mind or Maya's matchmaking?"

Both had been pretty impossible to ignore for him.

She turned to meet his gaze; both letting out a small laugh as their eyes met. Were they really standing on the same rooftop where Farkle had shouted out "Riley still loves Lucas" discussing her relationship with another guy?

"Oh, it's not just Maya. Farkle's in on it too," she continued pacing to release her nervous energy as she ranted. "And okay, yeah he's cute and smart and funny," she rambled in her pent up state unaware of what her words were doing to the boy listening, "but he's also really full of himself and for some reason he is determined to make me see things his way...which is infuriating," she laughed as she spoke the last word.

Farkle's meddling was annoying but at least he had a modicum of subtlety. Maya was just relentless.

Finally she glanced up to face the blonde, who was swallowing the bitter realization that Riley might not be nearly as disinterested in the sophomore as he had originally thought. He tried to mask the pain and swelling rage he was forcing down but of course she saw it. She always saw him. Her brown eyes began to peer at the scenery, giving him a moment to compose himself before she turned to face him once more. She may not have been his first choice, but she still cared about him. Even if those feelings weren't returned, the last thing she wanted or had intended was to make their situation more difficult for him.

"I'm sorry," she subconsciously reached to tuck back her hair, "if this is too weird we can stop. I probably shouldn't have even said anything to begin with. Maya is your girlfriend, I shouldn't have put you in the middle like that," the words of apology began to rush through into the air without thought.

His green eyes locked on her face causing his heart to surge with a bittersweetness that made him ache. All he had ever wanted was for her to be happy, and though it hurt to learn that happiness wasn't to be shared with him, he still wanted to contribute. Even if it meant listening to her sort out her feelings for someone else.

"No, it's okay," he replied forcing a smile. "It is kind of weird but...I'd rather it be weird and us work through it than for you to feel like you can't talk to me," his smile had morphed into something more genuine now.

She nodded in agreement, trying to remember the last time she had felt free to talk with him without censorship or awkwardness. That seemed another lifetime now. The walls she had so carefully constructed were useless against him. He could easily slip through her defenses, having already mapped out the peaks and valleys of her soul. That was just the trouble. He was too capable. How could she let him in without letting him too close again? Even now, with her best friend between them, he was too close for comfort.

The brunette wandered over toward the ledge, her fingers dancing across the brick as she walked. She had turned her back to him. It was easier that way for some reason.

"It's not like I don't know what they're all thinking. I can feel them watching us, trying to size us up," she murmured into the breeze, just loud enough to be heard.

His features wrinkled in confusion.

"You and Caleb or you and me," the words left his mouth before he could pull them back.

She smiled, a sad wistful smile, as she grasped the ledge with both hands and leaned backward.

"All of the above," she sighed, "You know, when we were in middle school I had no idea they were doing that until they were voting you and Maya best couple...and saying that fire was better than rain. Now everybody thinks Caleb and I have "the fiyah," she mocked with a giggle that was so contagious he couldn't help but let out a chuckle as well.

When was the last time either of them had laughed like this, he thought.

She fixed her eyes on the horizon ahead, fearing she'd never get her confession out otherwise. It was time to stop lying; to him and herself.

"They aren't exactly wrong. It's different with him. I'm different with him...of course it's hard to discern how much of that is me and him and how much of that is just me," she admitted as her fingers drummed against the wall keeping her suspended.

She only had one other experience to compare with, and to do so was like the old adage of apples and oranges- too different to even try. She had been so young the first time, with Lucas, so naive. It had never occurred to her that their relationship was somehow lacking or that Maya could offer him something she couldn't. When comparing herself to the lively blonde, it was easy to understand his choice. But when it came to their bond versus the one he shared with his new girlfriend, she hadn't been able to comprehend how bickering and smoothie showers were superior to hour long conversation and simple comfort of being near one another.

"I get it now," she murmured, "the appeal. Experiencing everything at the peak of passion sounds great in theory. It's intriguing because it's different...and liberating because there are moments when you feel completely outside of yourself...and exciting because you have no idea what's gonna happen next..." her voice softened as she spoke until it was barely a whisper.

"But," Lucas asked, sensing her hesitation.

She tossed her head back, her laughter tinged with darkness and confusion.

"It's just...I've seen all the movies. I've read the books. I've watched the tv shows and yeah, everything I said is true and half the time those couples are on top of the world and nothing can touch them," she twisted to face him, her expression unreadable, "but the other half...they're miserable. They just keep hurting each other, over and over again, and hurting themselves over and over again and they keep going back, not because anything has changed, but because they don't know how to live without the other."

She understood the appeal. The highest of highs sounded exhilarating, intoxicating, but all that passion also meant experiencing the lowest of lows, and to Riley, that seemed such a frightening distance to fall. And to do it over and over again...how could anyone endure it?

There was no such thing as a perfect couple. There would be hard times and people would occasionally get hurt. That was inevitable, but...

"I know it's what I'm supposed to want," she continued. "It's what everyone wants...but it just seems to me that love and pain shouldn't be so synonymous. It shouldn't hurt that much to love someone..."

Riley had always had a way of making him think about things he hadn't before, and this time was no exception. While he couldn't say for certain that he loved Maya, or that he even knew what love was, he couldn't deny the similarities between the couples she described and his current relationship...assuming he still had one after their latest spat. They did argue a lot; which didn't seem to bother her, but it did him. They hadn't hurt one another, he couldn't imagine anything really hurting his girlfriend, but hadn't they been hurting themselves?

Riley's confidence dissipated with her speech. How could she possibly have expected Lucas to understand when he had willingly, happily, chosen the dancing flames?

The corners of her mouth rose into a half hearted smile that never reached her eyes.

"I don't know...maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just a summer rain girl in a world on fire," she mumbled dejectedly.

Was it really just her though? He hadn't exactly been happy with his choice. He had become the worst version of himself; lashing out at his friends, letting his grades slip, but that wasn't Maya's fault. Those were his decisions, his mistakes. He had no one to blame for his unhappiness but himself. Yes, they fought, and no, it wasn't always pretty, but didn't all couples have their share of those? Even when she pressed every button he had he still cared about her. Even when she pushed him to his breaking point he had still been tempted to pull her back in. The only reason he hadn't was...

Riley.

He wanted to be the person he had promised her he was. He wanted her to believe in him again because when she believed he could do anything so did he.

He rose from his position and came over next to her. Just a little less than a year ago he had stood in that exact place with Maya as she had given him her first genuine compliment. It had taken a year and a half of merciless teasing and unconditional acceptance but she had finally admitted she was grateful for his presence in her life. Hearing her say those words had inexplicably made it all worth it. He wanted more than anything to give that to Riley; to say or do something for her that would make all the bruises and scars she had gathered along the last year worth it somehow.

"If that's how you feel then you shouldn't let them push you into something you don't want," it was the only advice he could offer without feeling like a hypocrite.

She turned to him once more, wishing again for impossible things that would never be.

"I don't really know what I want," she lied right to his face. "I only know what I don't want." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear before glancing down, hoping he wouldn't see the truth in her eyes, that it was him she still wanted. Or at least what she thought they'd had.

For a fraction of a second his gaze flickered down to her lips. They were so close. How many times had he stood this near to her, completely free to act on the urge, and failed to do so? It was too late now. Whatever happened between him and Maya, he had already closed that door, and there was no going back.

"And what's that," he implored eagerly.

He knew her answer would bring him no joy, but at the very least it could ease her pain and that was all that mattered.

"I don't want to love to the point of destruction. I don't fly so close to the sun that I can feel it burn, you know? I just wanna be close enough to see it's light...feel it's warmth...that's enough for me..." she tilted her head back, fighting the tears threatening to pool in her chocolate orbs. "But I don't wanna be alone either; which is exactly what will happen if I can't find a way to get past this feeling...summer rain people don't get love stories written about them. At least not lasting ones. They're just placeholders until someone more fiery comes along..."she whispered breathily into the gaping void ahead of her before daring to meet his gaze.

The realization struck him with the force of a knock out punch. That was how she saw herself, as a placeholder for her best friend.

"More than that, I don't want to settle for the wrong person just because I want someone to love me."

That was her biggest fear; that she was beginning to lean toward Caleb simply because she liked having the option of having someone.

Unable to resist any longer, he reached out and pulled her close to him. She was a friend in need of comfort and that's what he was offering. Surely they could still occasionally hug, couldn't they? There didn't have to be any tension or underlying agenda. Maya would do the exact same thing in his position. So would Farkle or anyone else in their circle. If anything, it would mean something if he didn't.

You won't." He insisted as his hands moving up and down her arms. "Whatever you decide, it will be the right thing to do because that's who you are Riley. You always make the right choice."

'Not always...' the voice in her head jeered.

She had made several choices she now questioned which had all seemed right at the time.

She glanced up into his handsome face with those big brown eyes and again he wondered how he had seen her every day for the last two years but never once really kissed her when he'd had the chance.

"Will you walk me to my room?"

Lucas led her out the door and down the stairs toward her apartment, all the while his mind was racing with thoughts that shouldn't necessarily be there. He had promised himself weeks before that he would not interfere where Caleb was concerned. He would trust Riley's judgement just as she had done with him and if this guy made her happy then who was he to disagree. Only now he knew that wasn't the case. Everyone in their circle was forcing her into a relationship she didn't want and if that's what was happening then someone had to protect her.

They paused in front of her apartment door as she turned to face him. "Would you mind meeting me at the window," she asked timidly. She wasn't sure why she was asking him to meet her inside her room. He was her best friend's boyfriend and that made him perfectly welcome in her home. He could enter without the door being slammed in his face or being chased out the window with only one shoe. Perhaps that was why?

Riley entered her apartment and rushed up the stairs to her bedroom while Lucas exited the building and began climbing the fire escape to her window. She closed the door behind her before darting into the furthest corner of her closet and opening the forbidden box. Carefully she combed through the letters until she found the correct one and removed it from the pile. Then she placed the lid on her box of memories and returned it to its rightful place. Would she ever be able to do the same with her feelings, she wondered.

By the time she emerged from the closet Lucas was waiting in the window as requested. His green gaze instantly fell to the piece of paper in her hands; his heartbeat quickening at the prospect of another insight into her soul. She stood awkwardly in front of him. Handing him these letters was like giving him a tiny piece of herself and these pages were the only place those parts of her were still allowed to exist. Once the box was empty and it's contents in his hands, she would forfeit that part of her completely.

She glanced down at the letter, attempting to remember exactly what she might have written, but it was no use. She'd written far too many things to remember them all.

"I know that we agreed on special occasions and this isn't a birthday or holiday or anything like that..." she elaborated as she placed the envelope in his hand. "But talking with you up there, it felt different...better somehow..."

It was the first time that he had truly felt like a friend in more months than she cared to recall. The first time she had felt anything resembling the connection they had once shared.

Lucas nodded in agreement, his lips forming a smile despite himself.

"I enjoyed it too...it was the first time you've seemed like you in a long time."

She tilted her head to the side as she considered his words.

"I could say the same of you."

She was right. In those brief moments up on the roof that evening the dark weight he'd been carrying around had been temporarily lifted from his shoulders.

"It feels like we've turned some kind of corner...like we're finally moving forward..." she explained as she brushed her bangs from her eyes.

Lucas said goodbye and scaled back down the fire escape before glancing down again at the letter in his hands. This time his heart didn't race, it sank. She had given it to him to celebrate moving forward but moving forward as friends meant the beginning of a path that Riley couldn't follow him down. One separate from the course she was destined to take, and while that might come as a relief to her, he couldn't help but mourn the loss of what he had already lost.

* * *

Maya forced herself up the fire escape and through the familiar window, her movements more sluggish than usual. Having adjusted to her new schedule during their estrangement, she briefly considered sleeping in, but then thought better of it. After all, she was trying to get things back to normal and what better way to do that then to pick up where they had left off months before? Though judging by the unconscious figure buried beneath the covers, she wasn't the only one who had learned to value that extra hour of rest. With a run and leap she bounded onto the bed, the mattress squeaking under the strain of their combined weight. Unlike the host, who remained unaware of the new addition.

In the silence it was almost possible to convince herself that nothing had ever changed between the two of them. They were still Riley and Maya, Maya and Riley; the greatest friendship on the entire planet. It had all seemed so simple and finite at the time, but then she had thrown Riley into Lucas's lap, and Mathews had taken their phones away. Everything had gotten complicated after they had been introduced. Boys and feelings had invited secrets, which led to lies, and eventually revelations.

As much as she would love to blame the entire predicament on her best friend's false confession back in Texas, she couldn't. Yes, Riley had lied to them all, but Maya had been the one to set the precedent of secret keeping when she had withheld her interpretation of the brunette's relationship with Lucas, based on her time personifying her sister. She had thought she had known her sister's mind, and perhaps she had, but she had clearly misread her heart. That one mistake had cost her the love and faith of the one person who had always been there for her.

Could she get it all back?

And at what price?

She had been so afraid of losing what she had left behind that she had nearly forgotten all she had gained in their time apart. Riley had moved on with Lucas, but Maya hadn't exactly been alone either. In separating herself from the other half of their duet, she had begun to discover her own identity. She had formed new bonds, but none that completed her as the brunette had. Maybe it meant she was greedy, but she wasn't ready to give that up just yet either. Ronnie would never be comfortable in the bright and shiny borders of Rileytown, nor could she imagine the perky brunette understanding the beauty of her shadow world. The only solution was to straddle the border between the two.

The thought evaporated as Riley began to stir from her slumber, incoherently mumbling as she tossed from one side to the other, "make sure to cut off their heads so they don't feel any pain."

Maya shook her head, her lips curling into a smile as she caught sight of the empty plate on the bedside table. Only her childhood best friend would worry about the unnecessary harming of her nightmare monsters. She gently brushed aside a lock of hair that had fallen into the brunette's face before bending down to coax her awake.

"Come on little plant, time to rise and shine."

Riley groaned in response, her eyelids crinkling as she squeezed them shut in determination.

"Plants don't shine," she rebutted sleepily.

The blonde threw a hand up into the air with exaggerated exasperation.

"Okay fine, time to rise and make oxygen for all the poor suckers that can't survive off carbon dioxide," she snapped in reply.

Slowly one eyelid raised to reveal a curious gaze.

"What," the blonde shrugged, "I occasionally pay attention in science class," she defended, but the brunette only smiled.

"I know," she mused with satisfaction before burying her face into the contours of her pillow.

Again she couldn't hold back a smirk. Of course Riley knew. She was one of the few people that had dared to look past the façade of apathy and her "too cool for school" attitude. It wasn't that she didn't care, it was just easier not to get disappointed if she didn't try so hard. But that had never been enough for her best friend. She had always pushed the blonde; to dream, to try, to believe.

She peered down at the stubborn brunette, mischief gleaming in her eyes as she took the corner of the pillow and gave it a strong tug.

"Alright you, up, up, up," she chimed as she pulled.

Riley tightened her grip on the cushion, but found herself no match for the blonde. Having lost the battle, she shot the second girl a withering stare as she climbed out of the bed and headed toward the bathroom where she would begin her morning routine.

"I'm up, I'm up," she conceded as she scavenged through the right drawer.

Maya sat lounging on the mattress, both hands palm down behind her back. She had worried there might be some resistance in returning to their old rituals, but those fears no longer plagued her. They had easily fallen back into their natural rhythm.

"You were dreaming about the gummy bears again weren't you," she asked with a knowing kink of her brow.

The brunette removed the toothbrush from her mouth to speak.

"They were storming the castle," she said as though this were a perfectly natural occurrence, causing the blonde to giggle to herself as she planted her feet on the ground and shifted her weight to rise.

"This is why I tell you not to eat pasta right before bed," she reminded snarkily, picking up the empty plate for emphasis.

The brunette hung her head out the doorway offering her best puppy dog face.

"But it's so yummy," she whined.

The blonde just shook her head as she disappeared into the closet. She had almost forgotten how effective those big innocent eyes could be. It was no wonder that Lucas hadn't been able to deny her. How could anyone when she was so adorable and childlike? It would be like saying no to a baby or a kitten, not exactly wrong, but just mean. Had she ever had that? Technically she had been a child, but had she ever had the heart of one, the faith of one? If so, she couldn't remember. Perhaps that was why she found herself so obsessive about protecting Riley's. The world was a harsh place without that light and wonder to balance all the heartache.

Lucas scaled the fire escape as he did most mornings, eager to greet his lovely girlfriend. Seeing her had always been the highlight of his day, but this particular morning he needed her more than he wanted her. Just when he thought that he had laid the Maya issue to rest for good she had snuck in through the bay window, re-forging her bond with the brunette. He knew how much Riley wanted this, how much they all wanted the group to be whole again; and he genuinely was happy to see her return. At least, Lucas the good, dependable friend who went along with anything that happened was. But Lucas, Riley's boyfriend, the third point in a triangle that never should have been, still had his reservations.

He had never imagined the possibility of being her number one person, but then Maya had pulled away and left a gaping void to be filled. Not that he could ever replace her. He wasn't delusional enough to believe they shared the same kind of connection she had shared with the spirited blonde, but they did have a connection. One that had only deepened in her absence. Without a third person to complicate matters their relationship had blossomed into one of official status and established feelings. All they had built suddenly felt so fragile.

As he reached the top of the steps he felt a wave of calm wash over him. Usually she was already dressed and putting on the finishing touches of her ensemble, but not today. Instead she was standing in the bathroom, leaning over the sink as she brushed her teeth meticulously. Her long wavy hair was twisted up into a messy knot at the top of her head with just a few rebellious strands grazing her shoulders and a pair of dark blue pajama pants clinging to her hips. He knew that she would buck at the thought of him seeing her like this, but early morning Riley was one of his favorites and a rare privilege.

Quietly he slipped in through the window and made his way over to the open doorway where she stood. She must have been very focused not to notice him sooner, but there he was, leaning against the frame, handsome and smiling.

"Lucas," she exclaimed, eyes wide, clearly startled.

Both strained to listen to the sounds below. Lucas would never be allowed in her house again if Cory discovered them alone together and her half-dressed. No matter how innocent their interaction, he would surely jump to the worst possible conclusion. That seemed to be his right as the father of a teenage girl. Would he be equally protective of Auggie in a few years, she wondered? Probably not. Auggie was already married to Ava. Cory wouldn't have to lift a finger to keep his son in line.

Once they were certain no one was coming to bust down the door Lucas leaned in, desperate for a proper greeting. Any other morning, she would have happily obliged, but on this day she pulled back, painfully aware of the fact they weren't alone.

"I'm not so sure that we should- "she began but he reached out, taking her into his arms, ready to dissuade any concerns she had.

In those arms she was safe, and loved and nothing could ever hurt her. It was hard to cling to worry when in the one place she felt completely protected.

"Riles, it's okay. No one heard you and no one is coming up," he assured as he played with a free strand of her hair, looping it around his index finger repeatedly, gently pulling her closer.

Her mind began to muddle as he closed the distance between them. She tried to cling to her reason for objecting but her thoughts were no longer focused on their surroundings. All her concerns had turned inward to her racing heart and tingling nerves. It was impossible to think past the feel of his skin beneath her fingertips or the smell of his body wash teasing her senses. As she looked up into those murky green depths she knew she had lost all resolve.

She leaned in, smiling against his lips as his thumb drew little circles against her cheek. His mouth opened, inviting her in, and she gave in to the temptation; circling his neck with her arms, drawing him closer. He stepped forward, pressing her back against the other side of the door frame as his fingers played with the straps of her tank top.

"Oh god," Maya mumbled as she shielded her eyes. "Put that away Huckleberry. Nobody wants to see that!"

Lucas pulled back with a sigh.

"Maya's here," he said, doing his best to hide his frustration.

Riley reached up tucking the strand of hair he had been playing with behind her ear. How could she have forgotten that Maya was somewhere in her bedroom?

"That's what I was trying to say before," she winced in apology.

She looked so guilty and embarrassed as she lifted her hands to hide the fiery blush covering her cheeks that neither could hold onto their distress. At least not until blue eyes met green and then it all came back; stronger than before.

"I take it Mathews has no idea you're up here," she surmised with a smirk that warned him she knew she now had the upper hand.

He reached back, running his hand between his shoulder blades and up the back of his neck.

"Not really, and we'd like to keep it that way," he replied.

If she wouldn't keep their secret for the both of them, hopefully she would for Riley's sake.

The blonde nodded with a tight lipped smile.

"So you do this every morning," she asked with a flourish of her hand.

Riley's gaze shifted between her best friend and her boyfriend, both of which seemed to be exhibiting signs of territorial aggression. Surely this wasn't necessary. They had managed to coexist peacefully for nearly two years. They could do that again, couldn't they?

Lucas placed his thumbs in the loops of his jeans, "Pretty much, yeah."

Her jaw dropped in shock. Never had she seen her boyfriend behave this way.

"Lucas," she scolded.

His green eyes fell on her pleading expression, his stance instantly softening.

"What," he asked, his voice laced in both confusion and concern.

He didn't seem to understand her anxiety, but the other blonde did.

"She's worried I'm gonna be upset," she explained careful to hide the truth behind the brunette's worry.

Riley offered another remorse filled smile, though she wasn't sure which of the two the unspoken apology was intended for. Probably both of them. She had hurt her friend by replacing her so easily and hurt her boyfriend by regretting it.

"Are you," he asked turning his attention to the girl it didn't hurt to look at.

He understood being sorry that Maya had gotten her feelings hurt. He was too, but how could she be sorry for how close they had become? Would she trade him so thoughtlessly for her friendship with the blonde? She had once before.

"Upset," she parroted, "that you stole my girl and my window?" She paused considering her words carefully. As much as she'd love to put Lucas in his place right then and there, she couldn't do that to Riley. "Nope, not at all, she lied, "the more the merrier, right?"

The conversation had tapered off from there into nervous chuckles and silence before Lucas planted a chaste kiss on his girlfriend's lips and excused himself to allow the girls some privacy and personal time. Riley watched as he disappeared through the window and down the fire escape before turning to face the blonde standing next to her.

"You really aren't mad," she asked, her fingers twisting in an anxious manner.

She was angry, but not with Riley…not really even with Ranger Rick.

Her shoulders rose up in a defeated shrug.

"He was here…I wasn't…I get it."

Riley wanted more than anything to take her at her word, to dismiss the shift in focus from friendship to romance as easily as Maya had, but somehow she couldn't find it in herself to do so. It had been natural to put her best friend above all else in the beginning, but hadn't it been growing more difficult as they had gotten older and experienced new emotions? Her dad had said in history class that they had always been headed here; toward dark movie theaters and fingers touching in popcorn buckets. Did that go away just because she and Maya were a packaged deal? She somehow doubted it.

Downstairs, Topanga Mathews was bustling about the kitchen while her husband and son at the table with their cereal bowls. Auggie was going over his father's lesson plan for the week while Cory was checking his son's homework. They both ladled a large spoonful into their mouths before exchanging papers with a nod of approval while Topanga shifted her focus from the coffee pot back to the skillet on the stove. She growled as she scraped the pan with her spatula, prying the black and brown remnants of batter from the bottom.

"How is it possible that I can graduate the top of my class, with honors…twice, and not be able to make pancakes," she shouted, tossing the spatula very angrily into the nearby sink.

This was a sign of forfeit.

"You just don't have the magic touch," Cory teased, taking in another spoonful of fruity pebbles.

Cory's pancakes were always perfect.

She shot him a venomous glare as she reached into the cabinet for two more bowls; one for her and one for the child coming down the stairs.

"You know Mathews, you really oughta lock that window," Maya called from the steps, all heads turning at the sound of her voice, "Anyone could just crawl right in."

Topanga's maternal instincts kicked in as she went running toward the staircase, where Riley had met the blonde at the bottom. She threw her arms open and pulled the young woman into a tight embrace, which was gladly returned.

"Does this mean the two of you have made up," she asked pulling back and examining the contours of Maya's face.

She had felt so helpless watching the girls try to handle the situation their feelings had put in them in over the past year. Maya was a beloved member of the family; the sister Riley had claimed at the ripe age of six. Seeing either girl in pain was enough to make her own heart physically ache. They had both been through so much, taking turns trying to protect the other from the unpleasantness of their reality, making her long for the days when everything could easily be solved with a kiss and a band aid.

Riley's smile grew from one side of her face to the other as she happily announced, "Yep! You officially have two daughters again!"

Topanga beamed at both her girls, fighting back the tears of joy pooling in her eyes.

"Well I'm very happy to see both of your smiling faces," she replied, her voice trembling slightly.

Cory rose from the table, staring at the blonde in his usual fatherly way.

"The prodigal child returns…" his only words.

Maya's heart contracted in her chest as he stood there watching her. The Mathews had welcomed her into their family, made her one of them, and she had turned her back on their love and acceptance.

What if she wasn't welcome anymore? A million apologies came bubbling up all at once, but she couldn't get them out. All she could do was hate herself for not seeing what she had done sooner.

The corners of his mouth turned upward as he too opened his arms, inviting her in. Tears swam in her deep blue eyes as she rushed into his embrace, sobbing I'm sorry over and over again. Cory just held her tighter, delighting in the joy of having her with them once more.

"We've missed you kiddo," he whispered into her ear as she clung to him, and all her fears began to melt away.

This was her home and these people her family. No matter what mistakes she made she would always be welcome there.

She sniffled as she disentangled herself, attempting to compose herself.

"I've missed you all too," she confessed, rubbing her nose with the back of her hand, her gaze turning to the only member of the clan who had yet to say anything. "Even you Augster."

The little boy continued to sit at the table eating his breakfast, though he did shrug his shoulders in response before spooning another bite into his mouth.

"I haven't missed you calling me that," muttered between bites, "but I guess I've missed you…and I owe you an apology. You haven't been here and Riley still doesn't have any time for me," he explained.

All those years he had blamed Maya for his sister's neglect, but he had recently discovered during her absence, that Riley simply didn't like the things a six-year-old boy liked to do for fun. To her credit, she did appear remorseful about their lack of interaction whenever it was brought to her attention, and they were close in their own way. They were brother and sister; they just weren't playmates.

"Auggie," Riley sighed, wishing she could help him understand.

"Your sister has been very busy with her studies," Topanga stepped in, but quickly regretted it when her son fired back without missing a beat.

"And Lucas! She's got an A+ in Lucas," he reminded with a wicked grin.

The memory of the two of them pressed against her bathroom door came flooding back to her, filling her cheeks with a rosy hue that left her face feeling hot beneath her hands. Oh what she wouldn't give for darker skin or better control over her thoughts and the bodily responses they evoked!

Cory's eyes grew round as he pointed his index finger sharply at the brunette.

"Topanga!" he croaked, "She's blushing! Why is she blushing?!"

The answer seemed obvious to his wife. She was a fourteen-year-old girl who was being teased about her boyfriend.

"Maybe because the two of you are embarrassing her Cory," her tone tempered with the undertones of reprimand.

Her husband was just about to launch into a full interrogation when the buzzer sounded. His head snapped toward the door, like a cobra ready to strike. Riley shot her mother a desperate glance. She knew who was behind that door, and given the time of morning and their daily routine so did her father. The last thing she wanted was Lucas walking into the lion's den when her dad had just gone into hysterics.

The curly haired man stalked toward the door with quiet and precise steps. Once he had reached his destination he laid his hand on the knob and waited a moment, before twisting it violently and flinging open the door, as though he had somehow outsmarted the boy standing in front of him by doing so. His features were contorted in a mask of suspicion and disdain, but Lucas just smiled respectfully in return.

"You!" he snarled.

The young man just nodded in agreement, holding the strap of his bag.

"Still me Sir."

Mr. Mathews had always been a bit strange when it came to his daughter and the prospect of her dating. His very first day at John Quincy Addams the man had taken him by the back of his chair and drug him all the way out into the hallway just for sitting next to her. His behavior had only gotten more peculiar and intrusive since then, but this particular morning he seemed unusually riled up.

Cory leaned forward until they were nose and nose, glaring at him.

"How exactly does one earn an A+ in Lucas," he whispered menacingly.

The young man's green orbs grew in circumference as his eyebrows stretched to meet his hairline.

"I'm sorry…what?" he asked, oblivious to the context of the question.

Maya, personally, was enjoying the spectacle, and would have continued to watch the cowboy cluelessly stutter and stumble himself into an even bigger mess with Mathews. However, it was easy to see that Riley was not sharing in her amusement so the blonde threw him a lifeline.

"Auggie said your name," she gestured toward the boy with one hand, "Riley started blushing," she elaborated before raising her hand toward her former teacher, "Mathews freaked out."

"Oh…" Lucas breathed as he caught the dark brown irises of the brunette standing next to her.

Silly as it sounded, he loved knowing that something as simple as his name had such an effect on her.

Cory's head twisted back toward his wife, panic-stricken.

Topanga!" he exclaimed again, "Now he's blushing! Why are they blushing?!" he demanded.

Her thumb rested against her temple as she stroked her forehead with her index finger.

"Because I married a crazy person," she suggested.

If he recognized the implied insult he made no acknowledgment of it being one.

"I don't see how that has anything to do with this," he retorted in an agitated manner, and it appeared that he truly couldn't connect the dots between the two.

Maya chuckled at the scene before her. The only thing missing was a platter of nachos and a comfy seat, both of which could be rectified given they were standing in a kitchen.

"God, I've missed this," she declared with a devious glint in her eyes.

Riley pushed the blonde toward the door, excusing them from the floor show. Her father objected on the grounds of blushing, but fortunately her mother was a lawyer and a shark at that. Once reminded that both he and the children had classes to attend, he had no choice but to let them go, but not without a stern warning and some dramatic "I'm watching you," hand gestures.

She had hoped the tension might ease once they had distanced themselves from her family's apartment, but unfortunately their previous discomfort followed them on their trek to the proper subway stop. The brunette walked between the two blondes, battling two separate instincts. Never had she given much thought to her childhood ritual of strolling the sidewalk arm in arm with her best friend, nor had she really thought to contemplate her new habit of holding her boyfriend's hand as they walked the same path alone the last few months. Both acts had become as natural as breathing to her. It had been easy to put her best friend above all others when she and Lucas were undefined. Just like it had been effortless to put Lucas first whenever Maya removed herself from the equation. Now that they were of equal levels of significance in her life she had no idea how to behave with them. She never really had. In her room she had told herself they could coexist like before, but before had never been all that functional; it had only appeared to be.

"Isn't this great," she asked, attempting to balance her attention between the two. "The three of us, walking to school together...just like old times."

Except it wasn't really anything like old times.

Lucas too, had been resisting the urge to follow through on their daily practices. He and Riley were an official couple now, and with that status came certain privileges. Hiding all signs of intimacy and affection was something he had very little interest in. Not only did he not want it, he didn't believe in it. If Maya was going to be part of their lives again she would simply have to adjust to having romantic pairings within the group of friends, just as the others had. The only concern that kept him from reaching for her hand was Riley herself, and the fear that she might pull away if he did so. Instead he decided to test the waters, grazing the back of his girlfriend's hand with his own. He had hoped that she would intertwine their fingers as they had each done on multiple occasions, but that didn't happen.

"It's..." he struggled for a positive adjective that didn't feel like a lie. It wasn't really great or even nice, it was just..."something."

Maya wasn't exactly thrilled with the circumstances either. She had been wanting to return to the natural order; which meant the world was just her and Riley. And for a moment it had been, but then Huckleberry had come barging in through the window-her window! Sharing her private entrance with him in moments of crisis was one thing, but he had made it his very own personal doggy door to her bedroom. She could easily put an end to that process. One "accidental" slip of the tongue it front of the right person and he'd be lucky if Mathews didn't lock him out of the whole building. She couldn't do that to Riley though. Her dad would lock her up like the princess named after a cabbage, never to be seen again. He was a teacher, he could hold her captive indefinitely under the guise of home school.

"Yeah," she agreed half-heartedly, "not awkward at all."

Except it was.

She ran a hand through her long yellow hair, her mind returning to her earlier thoughts. While Riley was walking the fine line between her relationship with Lucas and her friendship with her best friend, Maya was performing a similar circus act. It would be so much simpler if she could only find a way to bring her two worlds together. If she could just make Riley understand that it wasn't as bad as the boys had undoubtedly made it sound...that shouldn't be too difficult. The brunette always sought the best of any person or situation. If she could only separate the good from the bad long enough for her best friend to see it she knew she could persuade her.

"Hey, do you guys have plans after school," she asked, her wheels beginning to turn.

Brown eyes met green as she spoke. Technically, they didn't have anywhere they had to be or a specific task to be completed. Though they had spent nearly every afternoon together since the school year had started. Even longer than that, if they counted the days they'd shared over the summer. She could see that Lucas wanted to continue their new tradition, and part of her wanted to say yes, but she had just gotten her sister back. That entire summer with him had also been her first summer without her best friend and the other part of her was excited to make up for lost time. Lucas recognized this and offered an understanding smile that encouraged her to take the day to reconnect with the blonde.

She returned his gesture with a smile so bright it made up for the evening alone.

"Nothing definite," she replied.

Maya's lips curled into a mischievous smirk as she slipped her arm around Riley's, linking the two.

"Good, I have a surprise for you," she announced, setting her plan in motion.

The brunette clapped her hands with glee; her features illuminating.

"I love surprises," she squealed.

The girls bounced down the steps of the subway station, Lucas trailing behind. Just like old times.

"Is this really necessary," Riley asked, running her fingers along the smooth fabric covering her eyes.

Even with her trusting nature she couldn't help but feel a bit vulnerable standing in a crowded subway car without the ability to take in her surroundings. The bar seemed colder in her grasp. The usual hum of the shuttle screeched in her ears; the song of metal grinding. The gradual rising and ceasing of movement now felt violent and unexpected, each time jolting her forward or back. The entire experience made her stomach churn.

The blonde knew exactly what she must be feeling. When Ronnie had led her to Bushwick for the first time she had taken the same exact measures. Being stripped of her sight had heightened every other sense she possessed. At first it had been overwhelming, but as the ride had continued it had become thrilling, not exactly knowing what was coming or when. Without eyes to see, she had been forced to open herself up to the infinite possibilities beyond her view. If anyone needed a little more reckless abandon in her life it was her best friend.

"What's the matter honey, don't you trust me," she teased.

The brunette cocked her head toward the familiar voice. She trusted Maya. Of course she trusted her. Riley didn't always understand the inner workings of her best friend's mind but the one truth she had never doubted was that whatever her sister had done, it was always in the best interest of those she cared for. She was adventurous, maybe a little troublesome, but she had a good heart.

"You know I do," she replied, and she meant it.

It was her judgement she didn't trust.

"So…how was the art program," Riley asked curiously. "You've barely mentioned it."

In fact, neither had said much at all. They had made jokes and played like they used to, but neither had truly said anything of substance since their reunion.

"Oh that," she paused to consider her response with a chuckle, "it was…messy."

Her features crinkled in confusion despite the blindfold.

"Was that an art joke or did you mean it was actually messy," she inquired, trying to tuck her hair back but finding it impossible under the circumstances.

Maya's shoulders rose in a shrug, though her companion had no knowledge of this.

"It's open to interpretation."

Riley's thoughts grew dizzy as the blonde continued to talk in circles. Nothing she was saying made any sense to the brunette. The art program was messy. The laugh tacked on at the end of that statement led her to believe perhaps it was a pun. But then why hadn't Maya just said yes it was or no it wasn't? When had the bold and vibrant girl she had known become so secretive and ambiguous?

"I'm not really sure what that means…but okay," she giggled anxiously.

If it had been a joke it didn't feel very funny.

"So…." Maya stretched the word across her tongue, "how was your summer?"

Again the brunette reached for her hair, heaving a sigh of frustration when she found the task unachievable.

"It was good." She replied curtly, her head twisting as though she were avoiding the blonde's gaze, though there was no need with her vision already obstructed.

"Just good," Maya countered.

Her slender fingers began drumming against the pole she clung to as the car lurched forward once more. She had known that sooner or later the topic would arise, she had just hoped to dodge the subject a little longer.

"I don't really know how to answer that," she confessed, choosing her words carefully. "It's just that, you said that you didn't want to hear about…you know."

Lucas. More specifically Riley's relationship with him.

Fearing the silence, the brunette continued to ramble nervously.

"He and I…we're…well, that's just it. We're a we now. He's become a big part of my life…and most of my stories…and I don't want to be insensitive to your wishes. I know that you said you didn't want to know anything about…I just didn't know if that was still a rule or not and I really don't want to mess this up again."

Once she got started she didn't seem to know how to stop talking until Maya had physically covered her mouth.

"Riles! I wanna hear your stories," she assured, feeling the brunette smile against her hand. "Even the ones that include him."

Her relieved sigh felt warm on the blonde's skin.

Riley had spent the night before struggling to extract her boyfriend from her recitations, but with such a major detail missing, the tales quickly lost their humor or meaning. She knew that there were residual feelings on both hers and Lucas's parts. The only logical conclusion was that Maya too, had unresolved emotions over all that had taken place. While the process might not always be pleasant, it seemed to her, they couldn't truly be friends again unless they were honest with one another.

And honestly she wasn't exactly comfortable discussing her relationship with the blonde. Maya might be ready to accept his place in her life, but the brunette was still having difficulty coming to terms with the fact he could have just as easily taken that same place in the life of her elected sister. Lucas had chosen her, and she had no fears of him going back on that choice, or her best friend asking him to. She did fear that one day he might wish he could though.

"Where are you taking me, anyway," she probed, redirecting her thoughts as well as their conversation.

An impish grin played on her lips as the car began to slow for another station.

"You'll see," she chimed, taking the brunette's hand. "This is our stop."

Maya quickly realized she too was in for a surprise. Her only visits to the area had been under the cover of darkness. She had never actually seen the community during daylight. What had been empty alleyways during the night were now streets bustling with activity. There was a large swarm of people gathering outside a chocolate shop just outside the station. At the front was a tall, lanky man with a narrow nose and thin mouth. He wore a white dress shirt underneath a navy blue sweatshirt and a baseball cap that hid his long flowing hair that curled beneath its edges. As he began shouting greetings and guidelines it became clear that she had accidentally stumbled onto one of those "walking tours" Ronnie had previously mentioned.

"Can I please take this off now," Riley whined from beside her.

She reached up to remove the fabric from her best friend's eyes as she strained to hear the man leading the group. From what she could gather they would spend the next two hours walking through the city admiring the artwork while he babbled on about the history of the area and the difference between graffiti and street art. At the end of the tour they would pay whatever price they felt the experience had been worth. The only down side that she could see was that it required a reservation; one she and her friend did not have.

"What am I looking at," the brunette asked, her eyes adjusting to the light and color they had been deprived of.

The city itself wasn't much to look at, though she was sure it had been at one point in time. The buildings were rundown and mismatched, but there was elegance built into their bones. Like any other neglected masterpiece, the ghost of its former glory shined through the evidence of disregard.

The man, whose name was apparently David, began steering the crowd toward the streets. Maya latched onto the other girl's arm and tugged her in the same direction. They hadn't made any reservations, but as long as they didn't draw attention to themselves and ducked out before the end of the tour, who would it hurt for them to tag along?

"Our tour of the city," she remarked with a kink of her brow.

It had only been a few weeks since the blonde had been down those streets but as they turned the corner it was as if she were rediscovering it for the first time. There were new pieces already splattered about the city, new colors and shapes to observe. The guide seemed to be familiar with many artists who had frequently tagged places throughout the area; including her friend Ronnie. Though he knew her under a different name.

They passed a mural of two skeletons; one male, one female, a breath apart with the words "Til death do us part," in a nearby speech bubble. It reminded her of Romeo and Juliet, and the paper she still had to complete for her advanced placement English class. She hadn't been as diligent in that assignment as she probably should have been, but she was more than familiar with the material and confident she could turn out an adequate analysis.

Not all of the paintings were to her liking. Many of the artists appeared fascinated with skeletal structures and while she couldn't deny the great skill involved in their creation, she couldn't appreciate them the same way her best friend seemed to. She did enjoy the portraits though. There were so many different faces, and each one held a different story. Each were beautiful in their own way.

"I can see why you like it here," she smiled at the image of two lovers in an embrace.

She couldn't see their faces, but judging by the way they clung to one another she guessed they must be very much in love. Perhaps it was a tribute of some kind between the artist and someone very special to them, she thought. It seemed wrong that right next to it was a caricature of cartoon characters involved in some rather adult content. Her brown eyes fell to a specific detail of the picture.

"How could you smoke that cigarette," she asked turning to face the sparkling blue eyes of the girl next to her. "After everything my dad told us…after promising you'd never-"

She had asked herself the same question every night since it had happened. The last thing she had ever wanted was to disappoint Riley or her family, but somehow in the moment it had just felt like the thing to do. And so she had.

"Come on Riles, we were seven," she rationalized, but the brunette stood firm.

"It was still a promise Maya."

She huffed, running a hand through her golden waves. She could try and spin it any way she wanted but the fact of the matter was that she had made a promise and now that promise was broken. Even if she never did it again, and she wasn't sure if she would or not, she could never take back that first one. She had failed the family that had loved her as their own. But that was just the trouble. She wasn't one of their own. She was only herself, and if they couldn't accept her for that, then they weren't really accepting her at all.

"It's not a big deal. It's not like I plan on getting addicted or anything," she reasoned, but Riley just shook her head.

"Nobody plans it Maya, but it happens," she insisted.

She sounded just like her parents, which was something no teenager ever wanted to do. But her parents were good people. They had done their fair share of living and that meant they probably knew more than either she or Maya did. It would be foolish to discard that wisdom on the grounds of stubborn youth, wouldn't it?

The blonde crossed her arms defiantly. All day she had been searching for some way to explain herself to her childhood friend. Never had she once asked herself why she felt the need to offer an explanation. She and Riley weren't the same. They never had been. There was no reason to believe that she would ever be able to understand, and maybe she didn't need her to.

"So what it sounds like you're saying is that we can only be friends as long as I do what you want me to, is that it?"

Was that what she was saying? That wasn't what she had meant to say. They were Maya and Riley, thunder and lightning, honey and peaches. They were forever. This was just another conflict they were having…wasn't it? She wanted so badly to believe that they could just go home, throw some ice cream in each other's faces and let it go, but that didn't seem likely.

This was something deeper.

"No…" she choked out, "no, of course not. You're my best friend, no matter what"

Maya's defenses began to lower.

The two girls were completely alone in the alleyway now. The tour, being unaware of their presence, had not hesitated to go on without them. Though she had been curious to hear what the guide might have said about her work, it was better that it was just the two of them. She had seen the way Riley had reacted to the portraits; with curiosity and wonder. She could only hope that the brunette would be as receptive to her own contribution.

"You really mean that," she inquired, her hands falling to her sides.

Riley nodded timidly.

"I do."

She had once been asked what she was willing to fight for. Being the quiet little people pleaser that she was at the time, that wasn't a terribly long list. The only cause she had found worth the upheaval was her friendship with the girl standing opposite her now. She had pried open the doors of a subway car just to prove it. She had defied her father for the sake of their lifelong bond. She wasn't going to throw it away now. Especially not over something as small as a cigarette.

The blonde's lips curved slightly as a smile formed. She wanted that too; for them to be friends forever. Her life was better and more interesting whenever she had a full access pass into Rileytown. She just couldn't live there anymore full-time. In order for their friendship to continue Riley would have to be willing to meet her halfway.

"Good, then maybe this wasn't a mistake after all," she replied, leading the brunette toward the metaphorical outskirts of Mayaville.

Her dainty features mangled at the declaration.

"You thought coming to see me was a mistake," her voice trembling with disbelief.

If that was true, then why would she have come?

"No," she said as she led Riley around the corner, "but I thought bringing you here might be."

Riley stood frozen; her chocolate orbs fixed on the mural in front of her. It was stunning, sure, but it was more than that. There was something about the way the colors cradled the building, protecting the people inside from the fury of the storm. A storm with lightning so angry it made the world appear as though it were on fire…

"Is that…the aurora borealis?" she asked, stepping forward.

Maya nodded with pride.

"It sure is."

The brunette took another step forward mesmerized by the sight before her. It was almost as though she had seen it before; like a dream materialized into an image…

"Over your apartment building," she breathed.

Now she knew why it looked so familiar. It was just the way Maya had described it that day in the bakery when Kermit had dared to show his face for the first time since she was seven. Looking at it now she could clearly see the little girl inside, cowering beneath her covers. She could imagine Katie rushing in and making it all okay.

She turned, searching her sister's face.

"Did you do this," Riley asked, running her hand along the signature in the bottom right corner.

Out of every piece the blonde had ever done, this was by far her favorite, her most personal. Her only regret was that she couldn't put it in her portfolio with the others and that someday someone would paint over it. But until that day it would be there and there was something comforting in that fact.

"With a little help from a friend," she admitted.

Riley sucked on the inside of her cheek as she attempted to process what she had just learned. This was what Maya had meant when she said she had feared this might be a mistake, and maybe it was. She was obviously happy with what she was doing and excited to share it. The last thing the brunette wanted was to take that away from her or discourage her from any practice that might bring her joy. She couldn't in good conscience condone what her friend was doing, but someone else had not only encouraged her, they had helped her do it.

"The girl who gave you the cigarette," she surmised aloud.

Maya's bright, warm gaze turned cold and pointed.

"Don't do that!" she snapped. "You think I can't hear the judgement in your voice? What happened to the girl who always sees the good in everybody?"

The brunette wanted to be sympathetic. She had no way of knowing who this person was or what she had been through. It was possible that she was a good person, maybe even a good friend. Whatever else she was, there was one thing she did know about this girl already. She was definitely not a good influence.

"I'm sorry, but it's a little difficult to see the good in someone when all I know about them is that they're helping you break your word. Not to mention the law!" she spat, gesturing toward the mural. "I mean, it's beautiful Maya. It's probably your best one yet, but it's also illegal!"

Even if she wanted to, she could never claim it.

Maya shook her head violently at the accusation. Hadn't she been listening to anything the tour guide had said earlier?

"They don't care though! As long as you don't get caught- "she defended but was quickly cut off.

"And what happens if you get caught?" Riley argued.

Hadn't she uttered those exact same words to Ronnie when she had first suggested Maya paint the mural? Could she really be angry with her for having the same concerns she herself had once voiced? The only reason she had ignored that voice was because it wasn't her own. At heart she wasn't a goody two shoes, she was an artist. But her sister didn't have that second voice in her head to drown out the first. She couldn't persuade the brunette as she had originally hoped. All she could do was assure her that she was taking the proper precautions.

"I don't plan on getting caught Riles," the blonde consoled, but to no avail.

Riley groaned into her hands.

"You don't plan on getting addicted. You don't plan on getting caught. Nobody plans those things Maya, but they happen! Can't you see how dangerous this is?!"

She had promised to always be there for Maya, to dig her out of any mess she got herself into, but she could only keep that promise if they continued to walk the path of life together. Much as she might want to, she couldn't un-smoke a cigarette, nor could she overturn a vandalism charge. The thrill might be fun at the moment, but it couldn't possibly be worth the doors she might be closing for herself.

"So that's it," the blonde fired back. "I take a few puffs of one cigarette, throw some paint up on the wall and that somehow makes me a lost cause? I'm not a horrible person Riley!"

The brunette's disapproving expression softened.

"I'm not saying that you are," she replied tenderly.

Why did her mouth keep saying things that she didn't mean for it to?

Maya kinked a brow, but not in her usual playful way.

"Maybe not me, but you think Ronnie is. You think you're so much better than her," she snarled.

She had expected her words to shock the brunette, but they didn't. Nor did they weaken her resolve. Instead Riley lifted her chin, her coffee eyes boring into those defiant blue orbs. She was proud and strong, and though the blonde couldn't see it, she was truly on her side. She had promised to fight for her friend and that was exactly what she was doing.

"Well so far you've made two really bad decisions and both times she was involved," she argued unapologetically.

The blonde nibbled on the flesh of her lip.

"You just don't get it, do you?" she scoffed, "Not everyone is like you. Just because it's not what you would do doesn't make it wrong."

Riley couldn't disagree with that. Not everyone was like her. Maya wasn't like her. They had always been different, had always embraced and celebrated those differences. She didn't want Maya to be like her. She just wanted her to have a happy life, with all the blessings she deserved. Her choices were threatening that future, and this Ronnie person either didn't realize that or didn't care.

"Maybe not," she conceded, "but cigarettes can lead to other substance abuse or cause cancer, and vandalism is a crime. That makes them both bad decisions."

Maya hadn't been ignorant of the potential consequences of her actions when she had chosen to go through with them. She had heard the lectures and read the warnings. She simply hadn't cared. She wasn't those people. Who was to say that her experience would be the same as there's, and if she didn't try, how would she ever know? And what if she missed out on something amazing just because someone else had warned her against it?

"But they're my decisions to make," she insisted.

Her blue eyes pleaded with her best friend for understanding, for acceptance.

"I came back because I missed you and I want us to be friends again…and I'm trying but I need you to try too," she begged.

Riley thought of their moment on the subway car when Lucas had come up. She had been blindfolded and unable to see her childhood friend's reaction, but she knew how she would feel were the roles reversed. It couldn't be easy for her to listen to her talk about her boyfriend…or to see them together like she had earlier that morning. All things considered, she had been extremely gracious where she and her boyfriend were concerned.

Seeing that she had struck a chord, the blonde continued.

"I need you to understand that I need to find my own way and I need you to be okay with that."

Riley's defenses were beginning to deteriorate. Of course she still wanted only the best for her friend, and would do all in her power to secure that happiness, but at the end of the day Maya was right. She could walk the path with her, but she couldn't walk it for her.

There was only one objection nagging at her.

"What about people change people," she asked sadly.

It was the secret of life. The people you walked your road with influenced your destination and who you became along the way. Clearly this Ronnie had the ability to sway Maya one way or another, and that frightened the brunette. Especially, considering the direction in which she had begun to steer.

The blonde stepped forward, closing the distance between them.

"I'm not asking you to trust Ronnie. You don't even know her…but trust me. Trust that I can still be a good person even if I don't always do what you think I should…even if you don't always understand."

Riley doubted her judgement.

But she trusted her friend.

"I don't like this," she replied, on the verge of caving.

The corners of Maya's mouth lifted into a smile.

"I know honey...I'm not asking you to. I'm just asking you not to make me choose."

Another choice; another chance to be chosen, but also the chance of rejection. The last time she had been the fortunate one, but would she be so lucky if she forced the issue? And would it be fair to do so when Maya had never made such a demand of her? Ronnie was only a stranger, but Lucas had actually meant something to both of them. If she could share Lucas with Riley and Riley with him after everything that had happened, surely she could accept this new person in her best friend's life. There had to be some good in this interloper or else Maya wouldn't have taken such a liking to her.

Her brown eyes cast down toward the ground.

"Would you really choose her," she asked, twisting the friendship ring around her finger anxiously.

The blonde chuckled with amusement. It was bizarre seeing the brunette so insecure when she had been the one fearing she had lost her place.

"It's not just about her," she explained, gesturing to her masterpiece. "You have no idea what this piece means to me…what it took for me to create that," she had been so lost and felt so hopeless. Had Ronnie not shocked her back to life she might still be staring at a blank page she couldn't fill. "This, it's part of me now," she placed her hand to her chest.

"I need you to respect that."

The brunette nodded in agreement and Maya rushed forward wrapping her arms around her sister's neck. Riley laced hers around the blonde's waist, returning the embrace. They stood there stuck like Velcro, holding to one another, until they were ready to peel apart. Together they turned and headed back toward the station; Maya's arm around Riley's neck and Riley's arm around Maya's waist, as though nothing had ever changed. On their way back to Greenwich the blonde turned to her friend with an imploring gaze.

"I know I've asked a lot of you today, but I have to ask one more favor," she explained. "I need you promise not to tell anyone about this."

Riley hated the idea of keeping another secret, but she could understand why Maya didn't want anyone knowing about her street art. She couldn't imagine any of their friends turning her in or using the information against her in any way. However, Zay wasn't exactly known for his discretion, and it didn't seem fair for the others to know unless they could share the knowledge with everyone in the group. She didn't know what she would say about that afternoon if someone asked her. She would just have to hope it didn't come to that.


	18. The Invisible Update

So I was just looking at my profile and I realized two things. One, it has been a whole year since I began this story. And two, somehow my numbers have gotten messed up as it is claiming I already updated this story this month...which sadly I have not. Don't worry though, I haven't forgotten or abandoned Split Screen and will hopefully be updating within the next week or two. I just wanted to apologize for the inconvenience and thank you so much for your patience and support!


	19. Letter to Readers-NOT RESIGNATION!

First, I want to thank all of you for every viewing, follow, favorite, comment or question that you have each contributed. I know my updating schedule has severely wavered from what I originally promised and the fact that you all remain patient with me and continue to support my literary endeavors truly means the world to me. I had every intention of updating weeks ago. I now have all three stories pretty much outlined and have over half of the next chapter of Split Screen done. Unfortunately, there have been some family matters distracting me from my writing. However, I have not forgotten my stories or my wonderful readers and am now working hard to catch up. Hopefully, you will be reading updates very soon. I apologize for the inconvenience but if you will just stick with me, I promise you it will all be worth it in the end.


	20. 17-She's got her secrets I got mine too

**A/N: Single update this time. I apologize again for taking so long, but life has been beyond crazy and this chapter has rewritten itself a few times. Thank you so much for support! Seriously, every follow, fave, and review means so much to me. The dust is finally beginning to settle so I'm hoping to be updating more frequently on all three stories. If all goes well, I'll be down to two by summer's end ;)**

 ***Remember when we first started this journey together I told you no pairing is all good or bad. Everything I have done or will do I can back up with words and events from the show or commentary from its creator.***

 **Without further ado, I give you chapter seventeen of split screen sadness.**

Lucas thumbed through his comic book, disappearing into the fictional world of Barry Allen. His fingers were itching to unfold Riley's latest letter, but he continued to deny them. There were already too many words in his head; angry words to his girlfriend, secrets the brunette had shared with him on the rooftop. So many words and no resolution in any of them!

He knew it was wrong to avoid his troubles this way. It wasn't fair to Maya, leaving her on such a vague and hostile note. Though he doubted it bothered her being at odds with him. She'd reached out over the last few days, sent texts and left voicemails, but nothing that indicated any distress or remorse. If anything, she seemed annoyed, which was hardly incentive to make contact.

In the past he would have gone to Riley. She would've listened without judgement and by the end of their conversation he would have confidence, clarity, peace of mind. Whatever he'd come in need of, she would've unknowingly provided. She'd called it a turning point, as though they were finally finding their way back. That seemed to make her happy. He was glad, but couldn't find it in his heart to agree.

Nothing had been the same since Texas. Even before the choice or the almost kiss, there had been a shift in their relationship. But Lucas didn't want to think about that so he pushed the thought aside, burying himself inside Flashpoint instead. He'd read this issue before- many times- but never given much thought to the story itself. After all, stories were created for escape and entertainment, not deep psychological analysis.

It was a perplexing concept; the difference between a multiverse and an altered timeline. He thought about Barry's memories rewriting themselves, but somehow that led to thinking about Riley and her speech the last week of school. He'd never realized before how many of their memorable moments included Maya. Sure, he had known that she was there, but had never thought about what that meant.

He could easily look back on his time with Riley and pinpoint the milestones. There were specific memories that begged to be relived in the quiet hours of morning. He couldn't say the same of his relationship with his girlfriend. There had been no gradual build, only a sudden rocketing into the stratosphere. It was only after months of reflection that he'd realized those moments with the girl he thought he would end up with were also moments with the girl the guiding hand had chosen for him. The day the brunette fell into his lap was the same day the blonde approached him on the subway. The day Riley had supported him in the election was also the day Maya had made the choice not to play that recording to the class, prompting him to name her secretary. Just like that his history was being revised.

Why it was Maya, he still didn't understand. The only interest they shared was Riley. They didn't like the same books, movies, or music. They had different goals and life views. They didn't even get along all that well. So why were they still together?

The kiss; or rather the spark preceding it, had started it all. That was the part that he truly enjoyed, the part that made everything else hurt less. It numbed the pain of all he'd lost and the frustration of their daily fights. It distracted him from the shame and guilt he carried where Farkle and Riley were concerned. But it didn't make those feelings go away. They were always there, even when he couldn't feel them.

Making out was fun and it felt good, but that wasn't a substantial reason for a relationship. He knew that, and he liked to think she did too.

Unlike him, she seemed to enjoy the fighting almost as much as the kissing. Though, that hadn't been the case with their last confrontation. In his anger, he had aimed the harshest words he could think of where he knew she was most vulnerable, and they'd struck with deadly aim. He hadn't meant to take it so far, but the damage had been done. There was no taking it back. Whatever happened between them hinged on their next conversation.

He leapt with the bell, from his hiding place in the school library. He should have been on the other side of the building, rushing to his own class. Instead he was standing in the hallway across campus, awaiting and dreading his target's arrival, as the newest member of their circle rounded the corner.

"Hey," he greeted the sophomore with a forced dimpled grin, "Do you have a minute? I'd kinda like to talk to you about something," he asked, getting straight to the point.

Caleb glanced to the side, as though considering the request.

"Well, that's definitely different," he chuckled to himself. "You've never had much to say to me before."

Whether they were hanging out with the guys or with the group, Lucas had never been much of a participant. Each time they shared company the blonde was either nose deep in a book or quietly observing from the sidelines.

"Haven't I?" Lucas inquired, one side of his face scrunching until it appeared he was winking.

The dark-haired teenager shook his head with an amused smirk.

"Not really. You've barely said a word since we met," he replied.

The blonde wanted to defend himself, but found no evidence to support it. Yes, he'd spoken in Caleb's presence, but never directly addressed the guy himself.

"Well allow me to correct that," he said, extending his hand, which the second young man accepted. "Hi, I'm Lucas." The image of a shy brunette hurling back toward him flashed through his mind, but he blinked it away. "It's nice to meet you."

He could see her smile, the light in her eyes when he'd told her his name.

"Officially," he added with a smile. This time more genuine.

Caleb nodded as he shook the Texan's hand.

"Likewise Lucas. I've heard a lot about you," he stated with emphasis.

His green eyes narrowed at the comment.

"What have you heard," he questioned curiously.

And more importantly, who had he heard it from?

The brunette shrugged as he took back his hand.

"Just that you're a great guy who would do anything for his friends," he explained.

Lucas nodded, a little disheartened. He wasn't sure what he'd been hoping for, but apparently, that wasn't it.

"That's actually why I wanted to talk with you," he confessed.

Caleb's brow raised skeptically.

"About how great you are," he teased, in a way that brought Zay to mind.

A soundless chuckle escaped his lips against his will.

"No, about a friend we have in common," Lucas clarified. "Specifically, Riley."

The sophomore's stature shifted at the mention of her name, and his friendly features contorted into an expression of concern. Which meant that Riley wasn't a conquest to him after all.

The freshman felt something in his chest tighten at the realization, but forced it down. It was good that his feelings were real. It meant that he'd have to respect her wishes.

"Look, I don't know exactly what your intentions are with her but-" the blonde began, but was distracted by laughter that unexpectedly burst from the brunette.

His hazel eyes glistened with humor.

"My intentions," he parroted, "what are you, her dad?"

To anyone else it would have been a joke, but Lucas had met Riley's father and there was nothing funny about his overprotective nature when it came to his daughter.

"Yeah, no," he said, stretching out the vowels of the first word, and then swiftly hammering the rebuttal. "He's a whole other ballgame." He thought back to that first day when he had drug Lucas, seat and all, out of the cafeteria. "On a different field," he continued, remembering the first time he had been chased from the window with only one shoe. "Possibly a different planet…" he paused lost in thought while Caleb patiently waited. "Anyway, like I was saying," he restated, "I know you guys have your little back and forth thing that you do, and that's fine," he faltered a moment before regaining his nerve; her words from the rooftop spurring him forward. "But that's not really her thing. She just doesn't know how to tell you that."

Lucas studied Caleb's expression, anticipating a reaction.

The sophomore nodded in understanding; a friendly but reserved smile forming on his lips.

"Okay, well, I appreciate your concern for your friend, and I get that you just wanna protect her, but Riley doesn't need protecting, especially from me," he assured before glancing at the clock on the wall. "I have only the best of intentions and I'm not gonna do anything without a green light from her."

Lucas could hear the sincerity in his words and it made him feel about two inches tall. He had been so quick to judge the stranger, based on nothing more than his argumentative nature with Riley. It may be different from what he'd shared with the brunette, but that didn't make it wrong. Part of her even enjoyed it, even if she didn't want to or understand why. He'd never treated Riley with anything other than respect, and Lucas and his friends with kindness. Even when the Texan had been less than welcoming.

"So we good," he asked expectantly, growing anxious to make it to his classroom before the second bell rang.

The blonde nodded with a smile.

"Yeah man, that's all I wanted," he said, releasing him.

Caleb shot him one last smirk over his shoulder as he hurried toward his class, like a dagger to his pride. Much as he hated to admit it, the guy was very likable. Which meant his disdain for the newly inducted member of the group was purely of his own making.

He turned around, ready to make the long walk to the other side of the building, only to find a familiar gorgeous blonde standing behind him.

"Maya," even the way he spoke her name oozed of exasperation. "Hi."

She looked small and fragile standing there, looking straight through him. The corners of her mouth tugged upward as she offered him a half-hearted smile, making his stomach queasy. He searched the deep blue eyes that so often flashed with emotion and found them lifeless. For the briefest moment, he longed for the shade of anger in those ocean orbs.

Timidly she took a step forward, her hands limp at her sides.

"You don't have to look so scared Lucas."

She never called him that.

"If I wanted to yell at you, I could've done that over the phone," she stated flatly.

And she wasn't picking a fight.

He struggled to wrap his brain around the olive branch she was extending. This wasn't the Maya Hart he knew at all. The Maya that he knew would have come into this conversation with blazing glare and wicked grin. Was it possible she was just as weary of the constant contention between them as he was?

"I'm just surprised to see you," he stuttered nervously. Something about this calm and collected girl standing before him put his senses on edge. "I thought your next class was over by the gym." Which would have put them on opposite ends of the school as he'd originally intended.

The amazon warrior peered toward the ground, having seemingly developed a fascination with her shoes.

"It is." There was a pause before she finally looked up, meeting his gaze.

"I was looking for you," she admitted sullenly.

His lids fluttered as he tried to process what was happening. After days of avoided calls and texts, she had come searching for him. She wasn't angry, annoyed, or even defensive. There'd been no hint of this attitude in any of her voicemails or he might have returned one of those calls. It seemed his words had cut deeper than he had predicted or intended. All that time he'd wasted crafting a defense might have been better used forming an apology; a way to build her up after breaking her down.

"Well, you found me," he said with a sheepish smile, attempting to lighten the mood.

There was no reward for his efforts. He wished that she would laugh or smile. Even her shouting was preferable to eerie composure.

"I did…with Caleb of all people," she replied, pointing toward the corridor the sophomore had disappeared down.

Both glanced around the empty hallway. The bell was about to ring, but Lucas was in no hurry to get to class. This was the conversation that would determine the fate of his relationship and he'd been putting it off long enough. He gestured to the side doors that would take them out the building and off school property. She followed his lead, him holding the door open for her, and then trailing behind. All the while her mind churned on the image of Lucas and Caleb together in the hall.

She wasn't sure when she'd clasped her hands in front of her, but she began twisting her fingers as she groped for words. It had taken time for her to feel his absence, and a day or two longer to realize it wasn't what she wanted, then another day to swallow her pride. Finally, she was ready to talk, but he must not have been because all her attempts went unanswered. She'd been on her way to work things out when she'd stumbled on the blonde interfering just as he'd scolded her for.

"I figured you wanted to apologize to him for my…what did Riles call it? My incessant need to throw her at someone," she quoted the words with care, spinning rapidly to face him. "But I didn't even come up, did I," she asked without waiting for a response. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised," she mused with a tilt of her head, "That's what we do, right? That's our pattern," she continued in a tone that made him wonder if she was speaking to him or thinking out loud.

"Riley sees us kissing outside the school and you blame me. I hold your hand in front of her and you attack me for it. She runs out of the bakery upset, and you threaten to break up with me," she huffed in frustration, shaking her head. "It always comes back to her," her voice was breaking and he couldn't tell if it was due to sadness or anger.

Lucas reached for the back of his neck as she listed his many so called offenses, his blood simmering as he thought back on each experience. His jaw set in a hard line and his green eyes smoldered with contempt.

"The reason I "blamed you," he spat venomously, placing air quotes around her choice of diction, "is because you ignored me all day and then slammed me up against a wall to make yourself feel better. I "attacked you" because you only reached for my hand to stake your claim after making a rule that you didn't want to hold hands," he went down the line, fueled by fury. "And I wasn't threatening you when I said-"

Maya stepped closer, invading his personal space. At one point this had intimidated him, but somewhere along the way the maneuver had lost its effect. Now it only escalated their battles.

"That you were done with me," she challenged defiantly.

Any humility or regret she'd felt evaporated with his rebuttal.

He took another step forward; close enough to feel the heat and the burn he associated with this tiny blonde firecracker.

"With this, Maya," he exclaimed, his hands waving wildly in the small space between them. "With the constant fighting, and the schemes, and the way you're always turning things around on me to make me seem like the bad guy!"

The complaints came pouring like water from a spigot.

"When I'm really the bad one," she asked skeptically with a raised brow.

It was the role she'd signed up for; her part of the duet. She'd always known this, and never minded…until now. Maybe she had gone it about it the wrong way, but she hadn't meant to. It wasn't like there was an instruction manual lying around for rules on how to get with your best friend's unofficial ex-boyfriend without hurting or disappointing anyone. Even if there was, who would read it? The title alone was a mouthful.

Lucas heaved a sigh, his shoulders sagging in defeat. Tempting as it was to lay all the fault at her feet, it wouldn't be fair. Everything she'd accused him of, to some extent, was true. He still harbored feelings for the brunette, and though he was extraordinarily protective of her as a friend, he couldn't always discern- nor had he always tried to- what actions were fueled by which motivation. He didn't know why Maya did the things she did, but she was his friend too, and his girlfriend. He owed her the benefit of the doubt.

"You're not a bad person," he replied, running a hand through his dirty blonde hair.

He'd spent the last two years as her friend, and though he still didn't comprehend her complexity, he'd seen enough to know what it was Riley, Farkle, and everyone else saw in her. There had been moments of weakness, glances at the girl behind the wall; at the campfire that night when she'd revealed her insecurity about the future. Again, on New Year's, when she'd given him his first compliment. She had spoken softly and with kindness, peeling back her defenses. It was only then he could imagine the depths hidden behind that snarky surface.

"You just don't know when to stop pushing."

It was one of the very first things he had learned about the blonde. In pursuit of establishing a movement against homework, she'd accidentally raised a sparkler from Farkle's presentation too high, setting off the sprinklers in the classroom. Mr. Mathews had shouted the words at the top of his lungs. Maya had a tendency for overstepping. It was in her nature.

She wrinkled her nose indignantly.

"Funny," she remarked, "you didn't seem to mind my scheming when I was pushing Riles into _your_ lap!"

He didn't even try to deny that claim. Instead he snapped back, "That was different!"

"Why," she shot back, "because it was you?!"

Yes.

No.

She was trying to shift the blame from herself to him, but he wouldn't allow it. This wasn't about him and Riley. It was about her and Riley; about her ignoring her best friend's discomfort and protests whenever the subject came up.

"Because we _both_ wanted it," he insisted.

Yes, she had given both a nudge forward when they'd stalled, but she'd never pushed them to do anything they didn't want to do. Riley had wanted to talk with him that day on the subway, she simply lacked the courage to initiate. They both did. There had always been a desire to communicate and connect between them. The same couldn't be said of her attempts to force Riley and this new guy together. She wasn't sputtering or stumbling through efforts to be closer. The brunette was visibly discouraging a relationship. Something neither he or Riley had ever done with one another. At least not until Texas.

"You keep pushing her toward Caleb and she keeps fighting you," he growled, smacking the palm of his hand with the back of the other. "Doesn't that tell you anything?"

Maya combed her hair back from her face in frustration. She didn't know whether to cry, scream, or break something as she tossed her head back and inhaled quick and deep. A strangled shriek escaped her lips, unable to find the right words. How could she possibly make him understand?

"It tells me…that Riley doesn't know what's good for her." She exhaled slowly, determined to reel her emotions in. "She never has. That's why she has me."

Lucas stood straight and tall, unmoved by her explanation. It was clear that he'd already made up his mind she was the one in the wrong and nothing she could say would absolve her of that crime. But he might listen to the words of someone he trusted to tell him the truth; someone he respected and admired.

"Without me, she would never unfold her hands," she repeated her best friend's declaration from long ago. If he wouldn't listen to her, perhaps he'd hear Riley's reasoning. "I've always pushed her, and yeah, she doesn't always like it at the time, but she's always grateful after the fact."

He liked to think that he and Caleb were worlds apart in comparison, but that wasn't true. The brunette had fought her every step of the way when it was Lucas as well. She had rebelled against speaking with him for days. Each time she'd prodded she'd been met with silly arguments like "we have a great text relationship" or "I walk through life the way I walk through life." If she'd let Riley call the shots she would still be secretly sniffing him from behind.

She sat down on top of a nearby picnic table; her expression weary.

"Look, I know you think I'm selfish and I want her to be with someone so the mess with us won't matter anymore, and yeah," she conceded, peering up at him the blue in her eyes reflecting back like a broken lens. "I want that. Of course, I do…but that isn't _why_ I do it."

He sat down next to her, leaning his elbows on his knees.

"Then why?"

Her delicate hands began to paint the air in front of her, forming a small invisible ball in her hands.

"Riles lives in this tiny little bubble of acceptability. And she's comfortable there, sitting with her hands in her lap, but she's not really living." She turned to face him as she elaborated. "The only time she steps outside that bubble is when I push- "her lips curled into an amused smirk. "Or in some cases toss her, into the unknown."

This subtle reminder elicited a smile from the Texan.

"She likes her feelings small and manageable. She has no idea what it's like to feel something so strongly that it completely takes hold of you," there was a wistful tone to her voice that told him she wished this for her friend. "But I know that you do," she said, catching him off guard.

"I'm pretty sure that's why the universe put us together, because we both feel things in such a big way."

He nodded in acknowledgment, replaying her sentence in his head. He'd been asking himself for days, weeks, months even, what the universe saw in the two of them together that he couldn't see. Was that what kept the two of them together; the will of the universe? Neither of them had meant to start this, yet neither seemed capable of walking away either. Each time one of them tried that inexplicable sensation made the decision for them.

"It's probably also why we fight the way we do," she observed with a playful smirk.

He had to admit, it was kind of cute. Even if he didn't understand her sense of humor, it was good to see her smile, and he found himself returning the gesture. These moments between them were few and far between, but he enjoyed them. Perhaps that was what kept him holding on, the hope that someday she wouldn't feel the need to hide her true self from him. The person he was now and the disguise she wore so well made no sense together, but perhaps it was the potential of what they would become that kept them coming back for more.

Whatever he felt for Riley was irrelevant to the equation.

If all she said was true, and she was merely trying to live up to her half of their previous understanding, he couldn't fault her for that. He knew the brunette wouldn't either. However, if she continued her current path it was possible the bonds of their friendship would fray to nothing. He couldn't allow that. Not when the shift in their dynamic was a direct result of his choices.

"I know that's how things were," he swallowed the lump in his throat as it hit him once more that neither friendship would ever be the same, "but she's different now."

She didn't want to hear that. She wanted him on her side. Even if he didn't agree, even if she was wrong; she wanted his support, especially when it came to her best friend. But she said nothing.

"Maybe she doesn't need you to push her anymore," he suggested gently.

She didn't want to hear that either, but what if it was true? What if Riley didn't need her anymore?

"Did she tell you that," she asked.

He hung his head, not wanting to confirm, but she wasn't Riley. She didn't know how much it'd hurt him to say those words, and she didn't understand him well enough to read between his lines.

"Not those exact words," he replied, just above a whisper.

He hated hurting her, hated hurting anyone.

She nodded solemnly, the corner of her mouth twitched but never rose.

"Okay, so maybe you're not jealous," she said in defeat. "Maybe you're just a better friend than I am."

Lucas hadn't known Riley nearly as long, and yet, somehow, he seemed to know her best friend better than she did.

He reached out, placing his hand on her shoulder with a consoling squeeze.

"She knows you mean well," he assured. "Just maybe give her the chance to figure out how she feels on her own."

He pulled his hand back, wishing he knew some way to make this better for her. His jaw fell agape as she slumped against him, resting her head on his shoulder. Instinctively, he wrapped an arm around her. She glanced curiously at his hand, but did nothing to discourage the gesture. It was the closest to a comfortable silence the two had ever shared.

They sat quietly, him holding her; afraid of saying or doing anything that might break the spell. This was what he wanted; conversation, connection, peace. As she sat in his arms, exhausted and depleted, he found himself wondering if they could have that together. Their classmates had given them the title of fire, but if he was both campfire and library, and temperament was the one thing they shared, wasn't it possible that there was a little summer rain in her too?

She met his gaze, clear blue orbs shimmering back at him.

"What about Farkle, do you think he knows I had good intentions too," she questioned.

It was the first time they'd discussed the subject and Lucas was at a loss how to respond. He'd like to believe the genius still saw the best in them, but his commentary that night in the theater implied otherwise. He knew they'd earned his anger and disappointment, but she was on the verge of breaking. He couldn't tell her the truth. Fortunately, she spoke before he could.

"I know Riles is right. I'm the one that messed everything up and I'm the one that needs to fix it…it's just…I'm scared. I'm not a fixer like her. When I try I just make things worse."

The way the words rushed out of her mouth reminded him of…no. He wouldn't keep comparing them. That wasn't fair to Maya. He needed to be there, in the moment, with her.

He stroked her arm, pulling her closer..

"I don't think it can get much worse," he whispered into her golden hair.

She sighed, staring out in front of her.

"I think we finally found something agree on," she replied.

While Lucas was struggling to disentangle his thoughts, Riley had been grappling with her own dilemma. It wasn't until she'd watched him disappear down the city street that her words from their conversation began to sink in. She'd been so flustered and frustrated the words had gushed out, but now that she'd had time to reflect on them she was embarrassed to have revealed so much. She'd confessed things to him that she hadn't even admitted to herself yet. She'd criticized his relationship with Maya without even realizing it. Worst of all, for the first time since her return, she'd allowed herself to imagine her life had his choice gone differently.

The letter had been a nice cover, and she had meant what she'd said. Humiliating and inappropriate as it had been, it felt good talking with him again. She sighed, propping her elbow on her desk, twiddling her purple pen between her fingers. It was wrong to think about all the little ways she had held back, to wonder how he might've responded had she said what she was truly thinking in those moments.

She could never understand it before; how he or Maya could both claim to have feelings for two separate people. How could Maya go weak in the knees each time her uncle walked in the room and still want to be with Lucas? How could Lucas like her so much and still choose the blonde? She was beginning to understand. While she was still withdrawing from Lucas and all they had shared, she'd somehow managed to get strung out on someone else.

The brunette shifted her head left, glancing back to her newest vice, catching his gaze. Quickly she turned away, but a small, warm shiver ran through her as she sensed his hazel eyes still on her. As much as she'd tried to deny it, she wanted them there. She wanted his attention, his focus. She wanted him to want her.

Because she wanted him. At least part of her did; the part that wasn't still pining over her best friend's boyfriend. What was she supposed to do with that? She knew what to do with her feelings for Lucas. Bury them in the bottom of her soul and pray they never resurfaced. But what about the rest?

Caleb Fuller, too, was the complete package. Not only was he visually appealing with those deep mysterious eyes and wide charming grin. He was also intelligent; well-read and well spoken. He wasn't afraid to disagree with anyone. In fact, he was quite forthcoming where his passions were concerned.

What might it be like, were she to become one of them?

He was persistent in his ideals. No matter how many holes she poked in his defenses his conviction stood. He fought back fiercely and with such sincerity that she found herself wanting to believe him. Would he fight for his own love the same way? And if so, what girl wouldn't want to be loved like that?

Their teacher's voice sliced through her thoughts before she could venture further. Which was probably best considering their dangerous trajectory.

He stood at the front of the class in his khakis and white button up shirt. The sleeves rolled up to the elbows. The only splash of color in his ensemble was the bright blue tie hanging from his neck. She got the feeling he wasn't quite accustomed to the accessory by the way he kept playing with it at random. Even now, he held the end of the fabric in his hands, peering down at it as though he were puzzled with its existence around his neck.

"Alright," he said, tossing the tie aside, addressing the room. "I want you guys to pair up into groups of two and discuss last night's reading. You can disagree, that's fine," she could have sworn he narrowed his eyes first at Caleb and then her as he made that statement, "just please, be nice about it," he pleaded.

This time she was sure that comment was directed toward them.

She turned back once more, her pen now hovering at her lips. They were the only two in the class to openly spar about the material, so it wasn't exactly a stretch. This time he offered a mischievous smile and a bold wink, taking her by surprise.

He was confident, she'd give him that. Most her fellow students walked through the halls with their eyes on their feet, trying to be as invisible as possible. But not Caleb. His eyes were always on the horizon, his angular chin proud but not too high, a smile on the curve of his lips. He was hard not to notice as he waded through the sea of bodies with ease. Of course, he was sophomore. He'd had time to acquaint himself with the place before they'd arrived.

Mr. Honeycutt had asked them to pair off, leaving the choice of partner up to them. She knew Caleb would want her, just like she would want him to. However, she wasn't sure she had it in her to go another round with him at present. While their discussions were lively and unpredictable, they were also exhausting. Which was exactly why nothing of a romantic nature could happen, she reminded herself.

Her classmates whispered among themselves, searching for their own partners. Desperate to avoid another head-on collision with the brunette she turned to face the childhood friend sitting behind her.

"You and me," she asked with a hopeful smile.

He peered back at her, his blue eyes shining with an unspoken apology.

"I'm sorry," the genius replied, fidgeting with the copy of the play in his hands. "I already have a partner," he explained gesturing to a boy diagonal from his desk, "and even if I didn't, I'd still have to say no," he tacked on swiftly.

Her cocoa orbs clouded in confoundment.

"What do you mean you'd have to," she probed.

He sighed, his gaze cast downward. After her outburst at the bakery earlier that week he'd promised himself he wouldn't interfere anymore, and perhaps it wasn't his place, but this wasn't just about Riley anymore. For better or worse, Caleb was one of them now. Whatever happened between them would affect everyone.

"Do you remember last year when I realized you were lying, how I begged you to tell them what was going on and you refused?"

On instinct, she pulled back, somewhere between stunned and stung.

"Are you saying it's my fault we're like this," she asked, the slightest tremor in her voice.

A shadow of bewilderment crossed his features. That wasn't what he had been trying to say at all. Though he knew how sensitive the girl was to criticism, he'd forgotten to account for her insecurity.

"I would never say that, Riley. I would never put that on you," he assured, glancing over toward his new partner before refocusing his concentration. "We all made mistakes."

He was still angry, for several reasons, but he wasn't above seeing his own role in it all.

"For example, shouting your secret out in front of our entire class was probably one of mine," he admitted. "Your mistake was holding everything in and trying to take the weight of all our misdeeds on your own," he elaborated carefully.

A small chuckle escaped her lips as she thought of her dramatic exit at her mother's bakery. No one could accuse her of biting her tongue after that display.

"Talk to him," he urged before rising from his desk.

She appreciated what Farkle was trying to do, but he didn't understand. She couldn't talk to Caleb; not the way she had done with Maya, Lucas, or even the genius himself. There was a language barrier between them. She spoke in sarcasm, he responded with innuendo, or occasionally vice versa. Either way their conversations never got off the ground. One more reason they could never be more than friends.

Every nerve ending stood in salute as he neared. Already she could feel his influence over her; a power he hopefully was unaware of. She closed her eyes tight, wishing it away, but her heartbeat rang louder with each step he took. It had been so much easier when she could blame those feelings on her new identity or some otherworldly spirit taken over her. Now that she knew the true cause, it was nearly impossible to dismiss or ignore.

"I don't have a partner yet," he declared with a bone melting smile and boyish shrug.

A biting laugh erupted from her tiny frame as she shook her head. There it was again, that poised tone and playful demeanor that she found equally fascinating and infuriating, if only because she envied it so.

"I don't think that's such a good idea," she replied, knowing he wouldn't accept the rejection without a fight.

He ran his thumb along the edge of the book, shuffling the pages.

"I think it's a great idea," he stated. Already she was getting lost in his twinkling orbs. "We're both clearly familiar with the material and we keep each other on our toes," he continued.

His second reason was enough to rip her from her shameful reverie. It didn't matter that he was devastatingly attractive or incredibly devoted. A relationship was supposed to be more than getting lost in someone's eyes or flirtatious banter. It needed substance. It required a deep and meaningful connection. What kind of relationship could they possibly have with only their Romeo and Juliet debate to sustain them? They couldn't.

"Why," she challenged, genuinely curious. "We'd only end up arguing. That's what we do."

His shoulder lifted to meet his jaw in a half shrug. A gesture that perfectly matched the roguish smirk his lips had curled into.

"Maybe that's why," he countered. "it's never boring."

Riley rose from her seat, arms crossed and eyes narrowed. She leaned in as though about to offer a secret.

"But not exactly productive," she refuted.

Caleb studied the brunette. She was as stubborn as she was beautiful, and already gearing up for her next strike, he realized. He thought back to Lucas's warning earlier that day. The guy hadn't told him anything he hadn't already figured out for himself and he'd had every intention to proceed as usual, but as he stood there for the first time he feared that he might be fighting a losing battle. He'd thought he was doing the right thing, playing by her rules, but if he couldn't get through to her, make her really hear him, then it would all be for nothing.

"You know, we're not so different, you and I," he said.

His words were a white flag waving high and she wanted to reward him for it, to say that he was right, but she couldn't. It would be a lie. The version he knew wasn't the real her. Or maybe it was now, but hadn't always been. Everything she'd said and done with him went against her nature and her better judgement. Whatever she might feel, she couldn't deny that.

"Not as much as you might think," she stated matter-of-factly, thinking that might somehow make it less hurtful or sickening. It didn't.

He'd offered a truce and she'd thrown it back in his face.

For the first time she could remember, the corners of his mouth fell; the handsome smile that churned her insides gone. His brilliant hazel eyes had gone dark, as fading to gray. Seeing him this way made her physically ache. She'd known he'd be disappointed, but never had she imagined such a hopeless expression on his face. Never would she have thought to hold such power over someone, especially not someone like him. But there it was. She had finally won and took absolutely no joy in the victory.

"People generally see what they look for, hear what they listen for," he replied, his tone lifeless as he turned to find another classmate who might be willing to work with him, though most were already taken.

A spark of recognition flared in the recesses of her mind. She knew those words from somewhere.

"To kill a mockingbird," she murmured breathlessly.

One side of his mouth lifted into a knowing smirk. For once he had not just her attention but her ear. He'd made a connection.

He shifted to face her with a half shrug. "See, not so different," was all he said.

It was something; a reminder of one interest she knew they shared. They both loved literature, internalized it in a way only lovers of the written word could. In her haste to place distance between them she had forgotten the most important lesson her father had taught them. Friends talked. Real friends listened. In all their tit for tat, she had never bothered to listen. Banter was built for amusement not understanding. One only had to listen long enough to form a response.

That had been her mistake before. She had stopped talking and without talking there could be no opportunities to listen.

"Why does it matter so much to you…what I think of the play? What do you get out of trying to change my mind?"

Every interaction, every conversation, came back to this one subject. Was it all a game to him? A way to get her attention? Surely, he could see how frustrated she became at times. Why continue to push her buttons, unless it was just for the sake of setting her off?

Again, he shuffled the pages of his copy. Did he do that absentmindedly or was it a tick; something he did when he was nervous like the way Maya ran her hand down the middle of her head or Lucas scratched the back of his neck when agitated?

At first he opened his mouth to speak, but there must have been a circuit shorted between his brain and mouth because nothing came out. The second time a soundless chuckle came out, but still no explanation. This time when he smiled she could sense the anxiety behind it. He wasn't confident or teasing. He was stalled.

"It's just that…"finally the words came, "how we interpret literature, it reflects how we interpret the world." He gave another nervous grin before trying again. "I've seen you around. If someone drops their stuff, you stop what you're doing to help them. If they forget their lunch money you either give them part of your meal or run them through under your account."

Riley was speechless. He hadn't been drawn to her just for her looks or because he enjoyed "being kept on his toes." It was more than that. He had seen her, noticed her, noticed things she did. Boys didn't do that unless they cared. Her limited experience with Lucas and Charlie had taught her that much. But it still didn't answer her question.

"I guess I just have a hard time believing that someone as caring and kind as you could have so little faith in people. It doesn't seem like it should be that way."

For someone who had sputtered at the start, he finished strong. The color had returned to his eyes and his smile was less strained, more natural now.

Her lips spread into a coy grin as she thoughtlessly tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Okay, I'll be your partner."

Light beamed from his every feature as he grinned triumphantly in return.

Riley went home that day with a new conundrum to solve. Though she had left Caleb back at the school, his words were still with her. He had a way of doing that; plucking her chords, without even being aware of how masterfully he played her. In every conversation they'd had, there'd been a moment when it was not her responding but the other her, the former her. The her that had loved so blindly and lost so much.

She wasn't that person anymore.

But if that was true, how did moments like the one they'd just shared keep happening? They had worked peacefully and respectfully until the bell rang signaling the day's end. Being the gentleman that he was, he waited patiently for her to gather her belongings and then accompanied her out into the hallway. This time when 'd called her Juliet and bid her farewell it hadn't felt like a tease or a chess move. It almost seemed…dare she say affectionate?

Was it possible that he knew who she was, even when she wasn't sure?

The brunette found herself drawn to her bookshelf. Carefully, she ran her hand along the spine of her collection before stopping on a familiar worn copy of Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. She pried the book from its hiding place and brushed the tips of her fingers against the cover. Inside the pages was the spirit of all she had been. Words of hope, faith, and optimism filled every margin; a mind and heart comparable to his own. She didn't know if she could ever be that person again or even if she should, but she knew that she didn't want to be faithless.

She pulled out her phone and texted three simple words: Ask me again.

* * *

Riley entered school the next day with Maya at her side. Though she was grateful to have her friend back, it wasn't quite the fantasy she'd spent several months imagining. Their initial reunion had filled the brunette with inexplicable bliss. However, the magic had quickly faded and been replaced with unease. The blonde's return hadn't healed the wounds within their circle, as she had hoped. Instead her presence had shed a light on the many cuts and bruises they each pretended didn't exist.

They could no longer deny the changes between them. Even she, the most optimistic of them all, could feel the difference. She didn't know how or when it had happened, but the girl standing next to her was not the same one that had tossed her toward Lucas that fateful day in the subway car. That Maya would never have broken a promise to the father they shared for the sake of simple curiosity. She also would have known better than to think that her sister would judge her so harshly. What she had done to earn her friend's distrust she wasn't sure, but it didn't matter. She would do whatever was necessary to earn back her good standing.

'Even if it means lying to everyone else you care about," an inner demon jeered.

For a fraction of a second, her smile faltered.

Maya, who had been gushing about the artistry of spray paint murals and her wonder at the complexity of the process, froze mid step, tugging on the brunette's arm until they were face to face.

"Hey," her eyes narrowed as she studied her sister's expression, "you okay?"

Riley nodded and smiled, attempting to assure the blonde, but the tone in her voice betrayed her. Before she might have been able to skate by on overstretched grin, but not now. She would have to confess something to keep her friend from prying further.

. "It's just…I was wishing that we hadn't waited so long. We were supposed to take all our classes together," she reminded.

The pint-sized freshman offered a thin-lipped smile in sympathy. They both knew this wasn't how it was supposed to be.

Suddenly, Riley's coffee colored orbs shimmered with hope.

"Maybe it's not too late. We could talk to the counselor and you could switch over," she burst out, clapping her hands excitedly.

It was the perfect solution. They had grown into the break, but surely, with time and vicinity, they could grow back together just as easily. Sharing the same curriculum provided the perfect opportunity. Not only would they be seeing one another in class, they would share projects, notes, and homework assignments as well. Their bond would be re-established and whatever spell this Ronnie person had over her would be broken. They would be Maya and Riley again.

The blonde could see that her best friend's mind was already miles ahead of her mouth and a potent shot of reality was required.

Her dream came crashing down as Maya snickered with amusement, her golden ponytail tossing side to side.

"Sorry Riles, but I happen to like the easy way," she jested, slinging her arm around the girl's slender shoulders and leading her toward the fork in the hallway. "You on the other hand," she continued, giving her companion a gentle nudge, "get a sick and twisted satisfaction out of this whole school experience. You like books and science and counting your A's-"

Riley lifted a finger in defense.

"Mom's the one that does that," she insisted, but Maya didn't seem to notice.

She paused at the intersection, inspecting the brunette one last time before shifting her in the opposite direction she would be headed.

"Now you go be a good little student. Make sure you listen to your teachers, and try not to bring any of them home this time," she teased with a playful grin.

Riley let out a small giggle at the joke, but there was no humor in it. Despite her complaints and impatience on the subject, she found herself missing her father. For the last two years he had been both parent and teacher. Sure, he had been overprotective and irrational at times, and had occasionally blurred the lines between the two roles, but he was always there. Now she was lost and alone, and he wasn't there to find or guide her.

Even if he were, it wasn't as though she could confide her troubles to him anymore. She couldn't tell him about the disastrous morning in her bedroom the day before or how she had felt like a rag doll standing there between them as they both made verbal jabs at one another. Or worse, how seeing the two of them in a room together had flooded her senses, driving her fear to the surface. Maya clearly resented her boyfriend; whether it was due to his choice, or their new level of closeness, she couldn't be certain but neither theory inspired comfort. She knew, of course, that Lucas loved her and would never do anything to hurt her, but his hostility toward the blonde hadn't gone unnoticed and it frightened her.

The image of Lucas's wild gaze just before pinning her against her bedroom door flashed through her mind. She knew exactly what he was feeling in that moment. Her own blood had been singing with the same hunger. For the first time in her life she had understood what Maya meant about having her senses overwhelmed. It hadn't mattered that they were in her bedroom or in the middle of an argument. There had been no decision process and no thought to consequence; only that bottomless "need" neither of them understood.

Mentally she flinched at the correlation her mind had unwittingly made.

Anger may not be a positive emotion, but it was a passionate one. The one thing her boyfriend and her best friend shared. And with that thought the picture in her brain began to bleed and transform into an image of a nightmare. It was no longer her against the door, but Maya, tangled up in her boyfriend's arms. It was her fingers digging into his hair as he kissed her frantically, feverishly, as though he would never get enough.

Her hands flew up over her face, as if that would somehow blind her mental eye. She squeezed her lids shut, willing the deformed memory into darkness. With great concentration, the lines of their bodies began to blur, losing shape and color like a chalk painting in the rain. Now there was only the sound of their racing hearts, in perfect rhythm, to torment her. She could hear the blonde panting as they continued to paw at one another in the dimly lit room in her brain, her best friend's name on her boyfriend's tongue as he tasted her. Hearing his voice moan her name like that was more than the brunette could bear.

Her hands slid from her face to her ears as she hastened toward her destination, desperate for escape.

Halfway down the hall she felt someone take her hand. A small yelp passed her lips as her body twirled off course and into the strong set of arms eagerly awaiting her. His arms. Instantly she melded into the embrace, dropping her bag to the floor. Her hands roamed the length of his back, her fingers curling over his shoulder blades as she pulled him closer. Still, she could hear him murmuring Maya's name in the darkness of her mind. With a strength she didn't know she possessed, she pinned him between her small feminine frame and the wall. Again, the image threatened to flare to life, but she pushed it away.

Lucas had never been on this side of their make-out sessions before nor had he ever given much thought to what it might be like. He found it strangely appealing, being the one trapped between an immovable object and a seemingly unmovable force. Against the wall, he was helpless to whatever delicious torture his girlfriend saw fit to bestow, and it appeared on this morning she "needed" to kiss him more than she wanted to. He would have happily complied with her attempts to disappear inside that feeling had he not witnessed her unravelling in the hallway.

With great effort, he pried his body from her own, though she clung to him, desperate for the haze of desire to cloud her troubled mind.

"Riley, what are you doing," he groaned as he fought off her spine tingling assault on his senses.

To his shock, this question seemed to have the opposite effect intended. Rather than drawing her defenses back, his words emboldened her. Her mouth twisted into an uncharacteristic smirk as she latched onto the back of his neck and began to lure him back down to meet it.

"If you have to ask, then I'm not doing it right," she murmured against his ear, sparking every nerve ending he possessed, before smashing her lips against his.

Was she doing something wrong, she wondered. He hadn't made any complaints. In fact, he seemed to losing himself a little more with every kiss. But it hadn't always been that way. That was something that had come with time and experience. In the beginning, he had been cautious, seeking her approval. Maybe that was what had drawn him to Maya? She wasn't afraid to let herself feel things deeply or get carried away in a moment.

She nipped at his lower lip the way she had seen her best friend do in her mind and was rewarded with the same tormented growl she had imagined.

He pulled back, framing her face with his hands. Over the last four months each time he had basked in that candy colored gaze he'd found himself stargazing. As he dove into those beautiful eyes, all he could see were golden flames dancing in those chocolate orbs. This was a new problem. One he had not expected. Riley had always been the reserved one in the relationship, the strong one. Even in the heat of the moment, she was the one that always pulled back first. It wasn't like her to be blinded by the stirring of blood and electricity.

But it was like someone else he knew…

Instinctively he tilted his head to the side as she planted little kisses along his jawline.

"Riles," he tried again, "we have to stop. The bell is gonna ring any second."

This did nothing to deter her, as her hands continued to roam freely, reaching for the buttons of his flannel shirt.

"We're freshmen, it's a big building, we could easily have gotten lost on our way to class," she reasoned, her fingers marching a trail down his chest as she spoke. "No one's gonna care if we take a few minutes to…" What was a suggestive way to say this, she thought?

"reconnect," she finished with more confidence than she felt.

It wasn't that she didn't care about being late for class. She did. Of course, she did. She was the good girl, the good student, and silly as it might seem to her friends, she took great pride in her many certificates of perfect attendance. All of which Lucas knew. But what he didn't know, what she couldn't say, was that there was a much more immediate need to be filled; peace of mind.

"You pulled me in here," she purred, as she slipped her hands beneath the fabric of his button down. "Isn't this what you wanted?"

Yes, his body screamed, but his heart cried out for something more.

It had been the first he had seen or heard of his girlfriend since begrudgingly placing her in Maya Hart's care, and judging by her current condition, he had been right to hesitate. Every word and gesture since he'd spun her into his arms wreaked of the blonde's influence. Whether she had deliberately altered the brunette or indirectly, he didn't know or care. Either way he was powerless to shield the girl he loved from whatever damage the rebellious teenager could inflict. Riley believed in Maya like she believed in Pluto, blindly and passionately. There would be no swaying her from her best friend's defense.

Gently, he gripped her shoulders pushing her backward. Immediately he ached for her warmth, but space between their bodies was essential if he was to get through to her. His hands swept upward, cradling her head, demanding her gaze. He needed her to hear his words and know that he meant them.

"I didn't do this just to kiss you," he protested.

Her brown eyes locked with his green orbs and there was a flicker…of fear.

Quickly he fumbled to clarify his intentions. He wanted her, just not like this.

Not when she wasn't her.

"Don't get me wrong, I enjoy kissing you, and hope to continue doing so for a very long time, but it's not why I pulled you in here. I just…wanted to see you, be near you," he explained.

"I miss you," he whispered with such sincerity his voice made her quiver.

She understood exactly what he was trying to say. She missed him too. In a way that went so much deeper than the physical act of speaking or spending time together. She missed who they had been together, to each other. They were still them, but that certainty was gone. Maya's return had changed something between them, created a distance that hadn't been there before. She loved her best friend and was happy to have her back. But she missed who she had been without her. And worst of all, she felt guilty for feeling that way.

The weight of that realization came barreling toward her, knocking her senseless. What was she doing trying to bury her guilt and fear inside the boy she loved? That wasn't fair to him. And it wouldn't make them go away.

Tears pooled as she glanced up at him. She suddenly felt as though she were losing him all over again.

"I miss you too," she confessed brokenly.

Lucas had to stifle his relief as she crumbled in his embrace. As much as he hated to see her in pain, part of him was just happy to see that _his_ Riley had come back to him. He held her, brushing back strands of her hair as she let it all go. The bell was ringing but he didn't care. He would stand there forever if she needed him to.

"I'm here Riles, I'm right here," he whispered, never meaning anything more. "I'm not going anywhere."

She clutched him tighter, burrowing her head into the safety of his shoulder. She'd been shamelessly throwing herself at him, trying to climb inside that place where her thoughts always ceased, but it wasn't in the burning intensity she found comfort. It was in his patience and effort to lure her back to reason. He could have had anything he wanted in that moment and all he had thought to ask for was _her._

If that wasn't love, what was?

His green eyes cast down searching for a sign that the storm had passed. The first of many, he feared, and again he wondered how it had come to this. How had something that began so simple and right been warped into a bittersweet happiness built on the unhappiness of a friend…or rather a former friend? She could barely look at him now without hatred burning in her once crystal clear gaze. Not that he could acknowledge that fact or the pain it caused him.

Maybe they hadn't been as close as she and Riley…or she and Farkle…or she and anyone really. They'd often bumped heads on issues, but he did care about her. Not the way he cared about the brunette who was now trembling in his arms, but there were feelings there. It was easier to not to dwell on all they had once been though. Things got confusing when he thought too much.

For more months than he cared to remember the thought of her had brought only one image to mind. One of round sparkling eyes filled with shock, maybe even fear, and slightly parted lips hovering far too close to his own for comfort. Even now if he relived that moment in his head he could hear her gasp, feel the silk of her golden hair beneath his hands. Everything about the memory felt wrong…but it hadn't felt _bad._ Thankfully that image had been replaced with newer less mystifying ones. His feelings for who the blonde was now and where they stood were perfectly clear to him every time he caught a glimpse of the turmoil broiling beneath the surface in his girlfriend's eyes.

At first he had blamed himself, his choice, for doing this to them. But over time his guilt had shifted along with his hindsight. All he had done was what the girls had asked of him. That was when they bothered to ask. Most of the time they had apparently just made the choice they assumed was best for everyone without bothering to consult those who would be affected. On its own it was an understandable offense. Riley and Maya loved one another and wanted to make the other happy, but only one of them had considered his feelings, misguided as her perception may have been. Add to that disregard her constant ridicule and the hell she had been putting her so called sister through for months, his anger had only multiplied.

"You wanna tell me what just happened," he asked, running his hands up and down the brunette's arms.

Riley glanced up at him, hesitation in her eyes.

It wasn't that she didn't want to tell him. She knew it was the right thing to do, and she wanted to. Under any other circumstance the matter would already be resolved and forgotten. But this wasn't any other circumstance. It was Maya, the Achilles heel of their foundation.

Their relationship was one of mutual trust and support in every aspect, save one. Most of this was her own doing. Both Lucas and Maya insisted he'd never felt anything for the blonde other than friendship, and most days she believed them. But on other days, like this one, those doubts still lingered. Her insecurity and over-analysis played tricks on her mind until she was convinced that every silence or statement held some double-edged meaning professing their secret desire for one another.

She'd trained herself to separate knowledge from emotion, but that wasn't enough for him. He wouldn't be satisfied until those fears were nonexistent. She didn't have the heart to look him in the eye and tell him that day might never come.

"I was just missing you," she replied dropping her head. "I'm all better now, she assured with a smile.

His lips followed her lead, curling into an adoring grin. There was still concern in his eyes though. He knew there was more than she was saying. It was why she'd lowered her gaze. She didn't have it in her to lie to his face.

He paused, pondering how to proceed.

"You know you can tell me anything...don't you," he asked tracing the path of her arms until he found her hands.

She nodded as he entwined their fingers, peeling her from his chest.

Whatever she was hiding, she clearly intended to keep to herself. Unless he was willing to suffer the consequences of a confrontation it was best to change the subject. They'd built a solid connection over the years. He had to trust that. He had to believe they had both learned from their mistakes the year before.

"So tell me about yesterday, how was the big surprise," he inquired.

The wheels of her brain raced for a response and came up empty handed.

"It was, uh, definitely surprising," she stammered.

Lucas wasn't quite sure what to make of her answer, but appeared not to dwell on it as he leaned down planting little kisses on the back of her hands.

"Well, if anyone asks if you have plans this afternoon, the answer is yes. I have somewhere I wanna take you," he confided enthusiastically.

Her watched as her head tilted toward her shoulder, studying him.

"Lucas Friar, what are you up to," she giggled.

But he shook his head in denial.

"You'll just have to show up and see," he retorted before placing a sweet, gentle kiss on her lips and turning her toward the exit.

It was the last place in the world anyone would suspect Riley Mathews to spend an afternoon. Killing zombies over a television monitor on a game system was one thing, but to lock her up in a room with one for an hour? No one would inflict such a terrifying experience on the timid girl. No one except Lucas, that was. The clues began piecing themselves together in the back of her mind. The way he had refused to give her even a hint where they were headed, his sweaty palms which he'd wiped on his jeans before taking her hand, even the way he was looking at her now, waiting for a reaction spoke to his concern.

She didn't know what had possessed her boyfriend to bring her there, but it was clear that he'd had good intentions. Besides it wasn't a real zombie, she reminded herself. And Lucas would be right there beside her the entire time.

"I know it looks a little…" he struggled to find the right word, afraid the wrong one might persuade her to forgo the activity altogether.

She studied the poster on the door, mentally reciting the words, it's not real, it's just pretend, repeatedly to keep from cringing at the image.

"It looks fun," she fibbed, not wanting to disappoint him.

The blonde peered at his girlfriend skeptically. He knew at first glance this was not the kind of event she would choose for herself. Nor was it the kind he had originally designed. At first, his plan had been to take her to Dylan's Candy Bar, with reservations of course. Maybe even some customized items to remind her of him and their day together, but then Maya had miraculously returned to the fold, and he'd decided the candy store would have to wait.

"Really? I thought you'd need a little more convincing," he confessed.

She winced at his admission.

She would, if she had been telling the truth when she said it looked fun. Which she wasn't. For two years now they had been talking about everything and nothing. Over the last four months they had grown even closer as an official couple. She had confided her fears in him even when it was hard or not what he wanted to hear. So why was she suddenly twisting the truth between them now? Was it really that she didn't want to disappoint him, or was it so she wouldn't have to feel guilty for agreeing to put that wall back up again?

"Okay, it's a little scary," she corrected, "but I trust you, Lucas. I know you'd never do anything to hurt me. You wouldn't ask me to do this if you didn't think I could handle it."

His green eyes sought her chocolate gaze as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

"Can you," he asked.

He wanted her to try this, but he'd never force her to do anything she wasn't willing to.

She nodded with a smile.

"I can do anything as long as you're with me."

Together they made their way down the nondescript hallway where a surprisingly cheerful woman gathered them into groups of twelve and began rattling off rules and instructions. Being crammed in the small room with ten strangers was a bit awkward, but not nearly as much as being loaded onto a packed subway car blindfolded. Over the next sixty minutes she would be getting acquainted with those ten people rather quickly, as communication was a vital ingredient to solving the riddles that would produce a key ultimately releasing them from the room. They would also be loosening the chain on the zombie every five minutes, as if being trapped in the room with one wasn't incentive enough.

"I can't believe I just did that," Riley exclaimed fifty-eight minutes later as she returned the sign boasting her survival for the group picture.

Lucas watched silently with pride as she exchanged numbers with a few new friends they'd made over the last hour, before making her way back to his side and beginning the trek back to the subway station.

"That was amazing," she gushed excitedly. "I mean, I'll be honest, when we first got there and I realized what it was I was a little freaked out. I thought I'd be really scared, and I was at first, but then the adrenaline kicked in, and the puzzle started coming together and it was just…amazing! Even better than the game!" she continued to ramble swinging their hands back and forth.

The blonde just grinned in response, happy to see the stars return to her eyes.

"You were amazing," he said, strongly emphasizing her role in the group's success.

The brunette shook her head, a slight pink tinting her cheeks.

"You were amazing," she argued. "I never could have put it all together and found the key if you hadn't sacrificed yourself to protect me."

It was just like her to focus on the achievements of others, missing the greatness inside herself. As much as he appreciated her praise, it was far more important that she recognize her own. She had proven herself a natural born leader and brilliant to boot. Both of which he already knew, but there was no convincing her of this. She'd never believe it coming from him. Which was exactly why he'd sought out an exercise which would allow her to demonstrate those strengths and then have them pointed out to her by a nonbiased third party.

"I was hardly Prince Charming slaying dragons Riles," he insisted. "She was only an actor."

Riley's head tilted slightly as she pondered his response.

"Does that mean you don't want your reward," she asked coyly.

There was something so innocent and sweet, even in her most flirtatious moments. Nothing like the bold advances she'd made that morning. It was almost as though she didn't realize the implication of her words. Perhaps she didn't. He wasn't sure that he understood it either; this imaginary line they had chosen to cross or the temptations they'd found on the other side.

He did, however, know enough to understand he wanted whatever she was offering.

"What kind of knight would I be if I turned down a lady's favor," he replied, a playful gleam in his eye.

There was something about that look that made her stomach heavier and her head lighter. It was almost like being dizzy and nauseous, only she didn't feel sick. She just felt warm and tingly all over, and wanting something she couldn't quite grasp. A smile formed on her lips as she stood there, staring, trying to figure it out. What was it about him that made her feel that way? Slowly her hand raised, her fingertips tracing the contours of his face as she attempted to puzzle it out. Was it the color of his eyes or the shape of his lips, she wondered as she studied him.

It took a moment for her remember that they were standing in the middle of the street and she probably looked like a crazy person staring at him like that. Feeling self-conscious her hand fell from his face to the scarf hanging loosely around her neck.

"You know, back then ladies would give the men a token for luck or thanks," she stated, slipping off the wreath of fabric from her neck and placing it around his.

Lucas chuckled as he glanced down at the bright purple garment she had "rewarded" with him with. While he wasn't one for fashion he had to admit, the violet scarf did little for his current wardrobe choice.

"Well, kind lady," he responded, untangling the item from himself, "I accept your thanks, but I think this looks much cuter on you."

Carefully, he returned the scarf to its rightful place around her neck, his hands still tangled in the fabric. Slowly he wound the cloth around his fingers, pulling her closer until they were only a breath apart. She leaned in, ready to offer up his true reward, when she felt her back pocket begin to vibrate. Both stifled their groans of disappointment as she reached for the object, mouthing her apology before accepting the call.

"Where have you been," an impatient voice came through the speaker, "I was about ready to slap a leash on Mathews and have him sniff you out," Maya said jokingly.

The brunette threw up a finger, asking her boyfriend for a minute, before stepping to the side. Why, she had no clue why. It wasn't as though he could hear what was being said over the line, nor would he listen in on their private conversations. He wasn't that kind of person. Still, she found herself stepping back from him while she addressed her friend's concern.

"Sorry," she mumbled, "I was trapped in a room with a zombie," she explained, looking back toward Lucas with a smile.

Somehow he had given her exactly what she had needed without her even having to ask for it. For at least an hour she had felt capable and powerful and completely in control of her own life. For those sixty minutes, she was free of the secrets and fears that weighed her down.

"If that's how you feel why are you dating the guy," the blonde countered. "you know what, Nevermind, it's none of my business. I don't wanna know." She amended.

Riley would have defended him, but Maya had quickly shifted her response. She wanted to hear the brunette's stories, but she didn't really want to know about her relationship with Lucas. That was probably best for all involved, but it still felt wrong trying to keep track in her head of what she could say to who. She'd never had to do that before. Not even when she was pushing them together. They had always been equally informed.

Until now.

While she was busy contemplating, Maya took the opportunity to change the subject to her original reason for contact.

"Listen, I told Mom I was going to hang out with you after school, so if she calls, which I doubt she will, but can you just tell her we're doing homework and having dinner, and I'll be home in a bit?

She hated being put in this position. It was bad enough that she'd already been forced into lying to her boyfriend, but now she wanted her to lie to Katie as well. She had agreed to keep Maya's secret. She'd never said anything about covering it up for her. She could say no. She should, but if she did that would be one more thing the blonde shared with her new "friend" Ronnie, that she felt she couldn't share with her. Riley liked that idea even less. Besides, Katie hardly ever checked in on her daughter. She'd never had to. The chances that she would actually have to make good on this particular promise were slim to none, and it would help re-establish trust between them. Her agreement was nothing more than an unpleasant means to a happy end.

"Yeah, I can do that," she conceded, a knot already forming in her stomach with the words.

Maya's lips twitched upward in a pleased grin. She knew that this was hard on her friend, but it also showed her that Riley had taken her words to heart and was trying to be more accepting of her new friendship and interests. Were she to unfold her hands long enough for the roles to be reversed, the blonde would happily do the same for her.

"Thanks Riles, you're the best," she cheered before agreeing to talk later and hanging up the phone.

Riley slid the phone back into her pocket and made her way back over to Lucas, who had been patiently waiting on the sidelines, as always.

"Everything okay," he asked, sensing her discomfort.

She started to say yes, but thought better of it. She had already lied to him enough times that day, and he'd been less than fooled each one. The thought of attempting to deceive him once more while he stood there and pretended not to know that's what she was doing made her ill.

"I hope so," she replied, forcing a halfhearted smile.

She hadn't asked where the blonde was really going or who she was with. She already knew the answer. Most likely, she was somewhere with this girl Ronnie, doing something that she shouldn't be. But Maya wouldn't hear that. For some reason, she was fiercely protective of this new friend, even though she hadn't put in the same amount of time of effort to earn that loyalty. What was it about her that Maya thought she needed so badly? Why couldn't she see her for what she was? Trouble.

Lucas nodded, his eyes darkening with sadness and concern.

"Are you okay," he probed further.

Maya was a good person underneath all her bluster. Like his girlfriend, he hoped that she would be okay and all would work itself out. But Riley was his priority, and seeing her so lost and uncertain made his heart ache. Especially, when she didn't have to be. Riley Mathews was one of the strongest people he'd ever met. He'd witnessed her bravery and conviction on numerous occasions, but she only seemed able to tap into that power when protecting those she cared for. She saved none of that strength to protect herself.

Her smile brightened as she slipped her hand into his and whispered "I am now," but he could see she was weary from whatever battle she was facing in her mind.

"You know that I love you, right" he asked, his voice pleading with her to believe in him.

She peered up at him with those big brown eyes shining with promise.

"I know," she said, leaning against him as they walked toward the subway station.

Normally, this would have made him grin, but his thoughts were troubled.

"I'd never stand by and watch you get hurt, Riley. I can't," he murmured into her hair before planting a kiss there on her head.

She supposed this was how brave knights were supposed to speak to young ladies, and while his declaration was dripping in romance, it made her nervous to hear him talk that way. This was the same boy who, in his anger, had accidentally broken her mother's countertops just to get to her. He'd been so determined to end her suffering that he'd offered to take care of the problem himself. Were she to have given the word, he'd have backslid right back into the version of himself he'd chosen to leave behind. Not that she would ever allow him to make such a sacrifice on her account.

Timidly she wrapped her arms around his waist, winding his around her.

It was her fault that he was thinking this way. Despite her efforts he could obviously sense her concern for Maya and their sisterhood, just as he'd picked up on her insecurity earlier that day. She wished now that she hadn't made that promise, that she had fought harder for the right to be open with them both, but it was too late. She had vowed on the sanctity of their friendship. Were that to be broken, she feared she might lose her sister forever. Besides, knowing that she'd sworn such a thing would only hurt him more.

Not another word was spoken until they reached her apartment building. It was a little past five which meant their date would mostly likely come to a close with a cordial handshake at the door and then a stolen kiss upstairs. Neither wanted to let go, but knew if Cory found them "canoodling in the hall" again they might not see on another outside school for at least a few days. They had just begun their ritual of saying goodbye loud enough to be heard through the door when it unexpectedly swung open.

"You," Topanga growled, mimicking her husband's paranoid tone. "What do you think you're doing with my daughter out in the middle of this hallway? Canoodling again?!" she barked.

Both teenagers froze, uncertain how to respond.

"Nah, I'm just kidding," Mrs. Mathews stated with a dismissive hand, but still they stood afraid to speak for fear Mr. Mathews might be on the other side of the door. Realizing this, she spread the door open so they could see the empty living room.

"Mom," Riley asked, finally finding her voice.

Topanga smiled widely, clearly amused with their confusion.

"Yes, daughter," she replied.

The brunette leaned in as though afraid to speak the words too loudly.

"Where's dad?"

Topanga did her best to stifle the laughter she felt bubbling up. It would be wrong to completely undermine her husband, even if he was the most unintimidating human being alive to everyone except them.

"He's not here," she whispered emphatically.

Riley's cocoa orbs lit with an unspoken hope. She wanted more time with Lucas and her father's absence provided the opportunity.

Sensing her daughter's unspoken request, Topanga turned her focus onto the teenage boy in front of her, whose mind seemed to be wandering elsewhere.

"Would you like to join us for dinner, Lucas," she extended the invitation with a welcoming smile.

His glazed expression melted into one of shock and then embarrassment. Truthfully, he'd barely heard a word his girlfriend or her mother had said. His mind had been chewing on the events of that day and the unspeakable burden Riley was choosing to shoulder alone. He didn't know what could be so bad that she would shut him out after all they had overcome to be together, but he did know his girlfriend. Riley only practiced the art of deception when she thought it was for the benefit of someone she cared for. Which meant she was protecting someone now.

At first he thought it was him, but what would she be trying to spare him? He'd feared her feelings might have changed, that the months without her friend might have made her realize he wasn't worth the loss. Perhaps she even resented him for coming between them? But then she had fallen apart in his arms, telling him how much she missed him. While he knew there was more to her behavior than she had let on, she'd spoken so genuinely he couldn't help but believe her.

That left only one other conclusion. Maya was at the heart of her less than forthcoming nature.

"I appreciate the offer, but I can't tonight. I just remembered there's someone I need to meet," he bowed out as graciously as possible, to the dismay of his bewildered girlfriend.

He knew that she didn't understand and would worry that she'd done something to push him away. It was nearly impossible for him to walk away knowing her insides with churning with self-doubt, but he would quiet those fears as soon as he got home.

Cory Mathews hovered over his desk mumbling to himself as he attempted to sort through the chaos. The first month of school was always the most hectic. There were new names to learn, new lessons to plan, and unbeknownst to his students, he was still struggling with the loss of his former class. Gone were the days of trying to balance between parent and teacher. There was no Farkle time in the middle of an explanation, no smitten boys to chase out of the room. They had all grown up and left him behind. He knew this was the natural order of things. Children were supposed to grow away from their parents so they could find themselves, but without them he felt lost.

He'd just crammed the last of his papers into his bloated briefcase when he heard footsteps trailing down the hall. Another straggler from the first parent teacher conference, no doubt.

"I'm sorry, but you've missed your appointment. I'll be happy to reschedule for another evening," he recited, glancing up to the see who was darkening his doorway just as he was ready to end the day and go home to his family.

"Mr. Friar…I wasn't expecting you back so soon," he said, feeling a wave of nostalgia sweep over him.

It was in that very room he had first come face to face with the Texan. He'd known the boy's reputation but had decided he would wait and judge him based on his character rather than his record. In the end, he was glad he'd withheld judgement as Lucas Friar had turned out to be a kind, compassionate, honorable young man. The only downside Cory could see was the lad's weakness for brunette's named Riley.

The former teacher wasn't the only one caught up in the memories that room held. He'd only been gone four months, but standing in that doorway, eighth grade history felt another lifetime away. At the time, middle school had seemed a rollercoaster he couldn't wait to step off of, but when compared to his life at present he missed the beginning. He would willingly take a backseat to Maya once more, if it meant the triangle had never happened. He would wait his turn, if it meant the blonde could be on a better path, and the pain in Riley's eyes washed away.

Unfortunately, the triangle was a reality and so was its aftermath.

"What can I do for you, Mr. Friar," Cory asked curiously.

Though he'd never admit it, it felt good to say those words again.

Lucas stepped forward, anxiously fidgeting with the strap of his bag.

"Well, you know how the girls worked things out recently," he began.

Cory's eyes lit up at the mention of his girls and their reunion.

"Yeah, it's great, isn't it," he enthused, his features falling as he took note of the young man's troubled expression.

This might be a mistake. Maya had been a part of the Mathews family since she was a little girl. They may be just as blind to the danger she was becoming as their daughter was, but he had to try, didn't he? Riley was their child. Surely, they would want to know if there was cause for concern.

"Actually, Sir, I'm not so sure it is," he confessed, strangling the strap in his hands.

He had hoped it wouldn't come to this, that by showing her what a great leader she was, she would be less inclined to follow wherever the blonde led. Maya was treading a treacherous path these days and the last thing he wanted was to see Riley spiral down alongside her.

"There's a few things I think you and Mrs. Mathews should know," he continued.


	21. I'm Still Here!

Hello readers!

I looked at my stats today and realized it's been months since I've updated my stories. How did time get away from me so badly?! Now I am back in school, which makes updating even more difficult, but fret not! I am still working on these stories in between homework assignments and will be updating during fall break! Meaning I will be posting multiple chapters at once. I know it's been a long road and the fandom is dying. The show is gone and eventually we will all be moving on. However, I will not be doing so until I have finished what I've started with these three stories and I sincerely hope you will see it through to the end with me.

Please everyone stay safe, be kind, and happy reading!

Your friendly neighborhood galpalcj!


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